My names Zoe, Zozie is sort of an unofficial nicname, and the aunty...well, why not?
I´m 14 years old and have been living in manchester england, my entire life - obviously not counting the eeeeeeendlness trips to wales!
Saying i´m 14 may make some people think that i don´t know enough to be doing an advice column. My responce would be to that, if your close minded about who your taking advice from - then i suggest you don´t take any at all! I´ve always stood by the belief that a persons mind gives away their real age more, than a birth certificate and some hospital documents.
I´ve not exactly been through hell, fire and brimstone, but i´ve seen other people go through it, and witnessed how it affected them. And besides, i like giving advice,i like knowing that my words could possibly influence and positively help someone else. And that is why i´m doing this advice column.
God i sound like Martin Luther King.
Member Since: April 9, 2005
Answers: 35
Last Update: April 20, 2005
Visitors: 3782
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I'm going on a school trip Wed-Fri. and I've got my period the heaviest it's ever been. It's like I have to change my pad every hour. I've never gotten cramps and now I have them really bad. During the trip we are going to make a couple rest stops off the bus. I can't put a pad in my pocket because it will be obvious..This is going to ruin my whole trip! I won't feel well and all my friends are going to have fun. I can't bring medicine either...it isn't allowed. I might have to wear a couple pads at once and like two pairs of underwear until I can quitely try to change it. Please help me get through this because I don't know what to do! I will remember this trip forever too. =/ (link)
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Take a handbag or something relatively small on the bus, so you can keep pads in that. Also, you can try using tampons, put having a pad in at the same time. As for bringing medicine, there are 3 options. Get your mum or dad or some kind of adult to write you a note saying "my daughter/niece/or whatever NEEDS to take paracetomol/pain killers on this trip as she is having very bad period pains." yes it is highly embarrasing but it will mean you'll be able to take paracetomol. Secondly, you could always just TAKE THE PARACETOMOL!! Its your right to make yourself feel better, and i hardly think they'll be doing drug tests for you to test for paracetomols or something similar. And thirdly you can just not take anything and pray that the flow lightens. There are some good tips on the always website and other companies give good tips for calming nerves/cramps etc so check it out on google or something! Good luck and hope the trip is fun!!
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my mom puts me down so much and i dont know what to do anymore...like if i do sumthin shell jus say sumthin rude about it and leave it at that...nothen i do ever is good enoguh for her..all the rude things she says to me makes me cry so much and she dont even think whut she says hurts me...i try to talk to her but she never listen...my dad is even doin it now to..i dont kno whut to do ne more..help (link)
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I think she needs to realise shes doing this, and the only way to do that is to give her a taste of her own medicine. Not all the time, because she'll assume your always like that, but just sometimes say something like she would. And if she says "Thats so rude take it back immediately" then say something like "you say stuff like that to me all the time." And the next time she says something horrible and down-putting to you, just say something that proves your point that she is quite rude to you. Don't do it all the time, other times look quite down heartened, but eventually she will come to realise that she has ben putting you down. After about a week, if she hasn't said anything along the lines of an apology, then maybe you should approach her again, just asking her if she realises that you get upset about it, and be really polite about it. Hope this helps, adios!
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i really liked this guy, and i told him and we hooked up twice, the first time just kissing and the next time he was really pressuring me and calling me a tease so i gave him head, it was really hard for me coz at the time i was still getting over my ex. i spoke to him on the net and i said 'im sorry i was so weird last night its just hard coz of J' and he said yeah i dont want a relationship and im like neither do i! Before we hooked up we were like best friends and he had liked me for ages and now we have just stopped talking to each other because of this and its weird coz i still like him and i only want a casual thing but he wont hardly talk to me!!! not even to be friends and i have no idea why..? im finding it hard to beleive i got used coz hes one of the nicest guys ive ever met does anyone have any suggestions? sorry its so long (link)
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Its not long don't worry. Firstly, you shouldn't have given this guy head in that situation, because he pressured you, in a way showing that in that situation, he was only after one thing; sex. I know it sounds horrible to hear because you say you were friends, but it was really unfair and disrespectful to put you in that situation, being a "casual" thing or not.
Advice wise though, i'd say do your best to still say on comfortable terms with this guy, as you said he was a nice guy. And i suppose, if you don't go down that road again, you still could stay friends, although maybe not as close. I really hope my advice is useful and good luck with this guy and getting over J, whoever he may be! xxx
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My ex & I have become sort of friends now. In a recent conversation he got very hurtful. He told me about his new girlfriend & how much he 'loves' her. I didn't want to seem jealous/hurt so I went along with everything like it was fine. He told me he hasn't thought about me at all since we broke up. Then when I said something about another guy, he said he didn't care. Does this mean something? If he doesn't have feelings for me anymore, would he actually say all this to me? I still have strong feelings for him. (link)
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Hmm. It sounds to me like your boyfriend HAS been thinking about you, quite a bit i would imagine, and so him telling you all about this new girl is his way of trying to get you to say that you liked him as well. He was trying to make you jealous, and when it appeared to him like it didn't work, he tried even harder by seeming to appear like he didn't care you were with another guy. I hope that answers your question, and i would do your best to be nice with this guy, because he obviously still has reminents of feelings for you, but if it gets too much you can just say "if your trying to make me jealous, its not working." Good luck!
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alrite i am 13/f. i dont have big boobs, but im not flat. i have been getting discharge for like 2 years now. and its not light either. is this normal? amd i gonna get my period soon? should i tell m mom and ask to go to a gynacologist? HELP PLEASE!! and dont say ur normal dont worry. cuz im sick of it!!
i rate 5!! (link)
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You should be getting your period quite soon. If not, then yes i would suggest getting professional help because you may have some kind of infection, and it would be wise to check it out. Good luck.
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i enjoy many hobbies but i want to go into acting my friend likes acting too, but i would only have time in the holidays, but i dont think any one wud come with me :( P.S. how cud i get sum of my mates to come with me? (link)
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You don't have to bring your friends with you to a drama club to have fun. Go on your own and you'll make friends quicker than you think, people can be welcoming to new member of a group, no matter how intimidating it sounds! Good luck!
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I have a friend with orange hair, she eats a lot and is full of energy and STICK THIN !! i hate and its so unfair, im not over weight but she does swimming like all the time and so i hate the way she thinks shes perfect!! Please rite bak i need to know how to get rid of this hate towards because she is a very close friend of mine ... (link)
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Funnily enough...i have a friend JUST LIKE THAT. Hello Anna. Go ahead and hate charlotte, just keep it between you two, i'm not getting into any arguements!! HeeHee see you in registration!
PS: I know shes so sickeningly thin! But so are you so i wouldn't worry chuck!
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how do i get chandni to come downstairs (link)
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Well...you could drag her downstairs....you could kick her, you could ask politely but that never works! Haahaa Duuuuuuuude *wraps blazer around self* apologies to anyone else reading this column, chandni is my mate and so is the insane person who wrote this question! Love ya biatch! Hahaha
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how can i convince a girl to like me?what can i say to make her like me as a boyfriend (link)
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Listen. Never fails. Oh and not too many "i love myself" jokes or comments, that really pisses us off. Don't be too obvious that you fancy her, but drop subtle hints, but don't start that until you've become some kind of close but not too close friend. if you become a best friend, theres no way she'l see you in another light without the aid of alcohol. Yeh, and don't buy her alcohol either. Hope it works, but honeslty, listening intently is a great way to get a girls attention and make her see that your (hopefully) not after one thing. Oh and don't talk about sex too much either, thats a massive put off. Good luck and sorry on behalf of the female race for being so picky with guys!
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hey .. i have a good friend of mine and she wants to kill herself because her and her boyfriend broke up .. and i dont know waht to say to her to make her not kill herself .. like i've said pretty much everything possible and i just dont know waht to do .. nothing i say will make her realize that hes not the only guy and all .. i really need help like asap .. !!
-- ash (link)
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There's really not much you can do, but one piece of advice: most people who say they are suicidal aren't. The fact that shes openly told you about this probably indicates that shes feeling depressed, but not enough to take her own life, she probably wants attention - so why not give it to her for a while? Take her out, try and distract her from her depression/fed up feelings by just being there as a good friend. Thats the most effective thing you can do, and you'll be remembered as always being there for your friend. Good luck!
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i have blackheads and i dunno what to do!..i use clean and clear, phisoderm and they both dont work! so i tried clean and clear and that didnt help either!..does anybody know how to help me?!?!?!? (link)
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There are several products on the market for blackheads. Try Clean and Clear blackhead clearing cleanser for good results. Use it for two weeks continueally and you do see a difference. Also nose strips are v.good, try the tea tree ones, as they work very well. Good luck and tell me if you find something!
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Hi all i had a misscarriage april last year and ever since we have been trying for a baby but no luck it is a year later now.. i am due my period but am 5 days late i had few cramps that been coming and going and have very sore boobs more then normaland they keeping me awake at night but i dont know wat to do i took a test 2 days after i missed but was negative then took another one on 5th day still negative please help me i would like sum advice thankyou..
clairesie. x (link)
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It sounds to me like you may be pregnant. Get some more tests, preferably an odd number so there will be more leaning towards one way. If they are all negative, then keep going!
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i want to be a camp councillor during the summer but dont have alot of ideas about how to keep clildren occupied in a unique way. Any ideas? (link)
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Unique ideas could be (not v.unique but) try and get them to write poems or songs about how they feel. They can be funny, jokey or serious its down to them. You can get them to put on their own play/drama production, again funny or serious. As for unique ideas, my mum does drama therapy, but what she did was to write all her subjects names on to stickers, and to give them all the stickers with someone elses name on. This way all the children get to give an insight on each other, especially as your councilling.
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i have had the urge to write songs lately but all of them are about love and my lovelife and i seem to copy from alot of other songs? to help come up with my own ideas and NOT about my love life what could i do??? any advice is helpful here i dont care! (link)
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ok well (and it does sound cheesy) but one of the best inspirations i've found (because i like to write random stuff) is to actually go out and experience the world. to write well, you have to write about what you know, because that way yu can give a correct insight. Climb mountains. See the views, it really is an amazing thing. I went to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia recently, the view was breathtaking, i went home and wrote about 50 poems. You need to go out and see the world, theres so much inspiration in modern day life for songs that aren't just lovey dovey. But writing about your own life is good, because your writing about stuff that you've experienced first hand. Good luck and contact me again if you need any help!
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okay.. i was talking to my friend yesterday and she told me she thinks she might be pregnant.. At first i thought she was kidding but she was being serious. She said she doesn't want to tell anybody and would be too scared to get a pregnancy test or anything. She thinks she should be on birth control too. She's only 14! what can i do?.. Oh her boyfriend doesnt know she might be pregnant either :/ (link)
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Ok first things first, has she had sex? If not then...well..she can't be pregnant, obviously! Before you start panicking about birth control, abortions, pregnancy tests and baby names, you have to understand that she may not be pregnant, and that this could be a cry for attention. V.few 14 year olds have sex, despite how many SAY they have. She could be feeling really fed up with life and very down, and saying a big lie like "I may be pregnant" is a fantastic way to get lots and lots of sympathy and attention. Its horrible to think that your friend may be lying, but you need to consider the option before YOU get all worried about it.
If, however, she is being serious, then she has a few options. She can either be mature enough to go and buy a pregnancy test (she should have bought contreception if she thought she was mature enough to have sex in the first place) and see if she is pregnancy. She can go to her family doctor (with or without parents/siblings) and they can give her a CONFIDENTIAL session and test. If she finds out if she is pregnant, her options really are limited. Abortion, adoption or keep it. None of those are adviseable for a 14 year old girl, but if shes stupid enough to have sex, then she has to deal with the consequences of not using contreception.
Think about your options, whether shes lying or not, and then advise her in the best way you can as a friend. I really hope my advise is helpful! Good luck! Oh and make sure her boyfriend finds out in a nice way, he REALLY needs to know. Its also adviseable to let her parents know, but that of course depends on how well she gets on with them, but parents can help in a way that friends possibly cannot. Do the best you can and use your judgement.
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my boyfriend and me have been going out for a lil over a month and i still dont feel anything for him, hes totally obssesed with me and i dunno what to say to him without hurting him because hes a really good friend of mine! I feel like im just stuck in a bad relationship. Some people keep saying stuff like i cheat on him all the time which i dont, im just a natural flirt and i cant help it!..id really just rather be single for awhile because spring breaks coming up and i dont wanna have to be tied down! Does anybody know what i could say to him that wouldnt hurt his feelings? :( (link)
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I've always found that people take gently to the classic: "Listen, your a wonderful guy, but your just not for me! I really want us to remain friends as i really value you, but in a relationship its not working." Be really gentle and just be honest! Good luck!
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My family is know for having a history of skin cancer/moles. I have a mole on my right cheek and i really dont like it.. everybody thinks its really pretty... but i dont see how... should i get it removed? i really wanna ask my mom... but im not sure how... any ideas? or should i leave it? (link)
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My advice would be to go and see your doctor, and check it out. If your family does have a history of skin cancer/moles then you need to get it checked out right away, that way if it is anything, you can treat it right away. As for your mum, you can say to her "Mum, you know this thing on my cheek, do you reckon its anything to do with skin cancer?" If she says no, you can still insist you want to get it checked out just in case. And if it isn't anything to be worried about, then moles can be really attractive and it sounds like yours is! Besides you can always cover it up with concealer if you REALLY hate it!
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Alright.. my boyfriend was talking to my best guy friend today.. and my boyfriend I guess called me a dirty whore... someone else told me to call them b-cuz they heard my boyfriend say some mean shit about me!! I'm getting really tired of him talking shit.. but the thing is he doesnt always treat me this way.. when he is nice to me he is a total sweetheart... I am so stressed I love this boy and I really need some help.. (link)
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Do you really love this guy? If you do, you need to seriously reconsider if you'll put up with him insulting you to your friends. I've said this to a few people, respect is the most important thing in a relationship, and if he doesn't have that for you, its never going to work. I know its harsh, but this guy isn't the be all and end all of life, and there are plenty of guys who can be total sweethearts without calling you a whore! I wouldn't really consider staying with this guy.
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recently a friend of mine has taken my boyfriend away from me! i was well upset and i dont know how to react. I found them in his bedroom, and he was feeling her up. i really like my friend and she promices me that it was one of her 'one off sex gamnes' and he really likes me shud i take him back?? (link)
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No. Under no circumstances should you take him back. if he does'nt have enough respect for yuo that he's going to go feeling up your friends, then the relationship will never work. Also i'd consider making your friend repent for what she did, what they BOTH did was a betrayal of trust and being laid back about it just makes it worse.
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recently my friends have being acting O.T.T making scenes to make people notice them.. i like them 4 who they were and not who they are now, the more i tell them the more they act up!! i feel as though my mates need more than me ...im confused why does she need the attention
(link)
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everyone needs attention at times and everyone needs to feel popular, its one of those secret insecurisites everyone has just never talks about. To stop your friend acting up, make it clear in a non-verbal way that if she continues to act up, then your not gonna be there as her friend. She'll eventually come round when she realises she may loose a friend for her acting up.
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