Nerina's advice column

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Q: Today, just about half an hour ago, i guy i didn't know IM'd me.

He said that a friend of his had asked me to ask who I was, because apparently 'I' was saying things like i wanted to screw him.

I looked at his profile, and knew who he was by seeing his myspace, but i never ONCE have IM'd the guy he was talking about. And if i did, i certainly would not say i wanted to screw him.

I'm just really freaked out. This has happened before, someone saying that I said things that I KNOW i did not say. But this time it's a little different since i know the boy who accused me of IMing him.

I've already changed my password, but i don't know what else to do. I'm painfully shy so i can't IM him and try to clear it up, it's not at all an option. I'm just looking to see if anyone can tell me what to do, and what might've happened?

A Hacker? Brother pulling an elaborate joke? Any possibilites and advice are welcome.

Keep in mind you don't know this guy.He could be some one you know so just talk about anything and pretend the other conversation never happened.You'll find out the truth.Or you could just ask what "you" said to him and tell him it really wasn't you.What's the worst that could happen?

Make sure you have a strong password.
by the way I make all my passwords "password".No one has ever stolen any of my accounts!

♥

Q: I am really bored.People tell me to get a life.How do I do that.Please tell me how I should get a life,get rid of my boredom,meet new people and make new friends. Any answers are appreciated

Log on

The Internet is a mighty place and most of you know the social sites already. Sites like hi5, Orkut and Facebook help you network, meet new friends and strengthen old relations.

Take a walk

Sometimes, meeting new people is easier than it looks. Just go out for a walk and maybe you'll find a person who could turn out to be a great friend on the streets or at the nearby park. Bumping into people can be a positive thing. Moreover, walks are a way through which you can get fit and exercise.

Hobbies and pastime

It is a good way to find people with your own interests. There are hobby clubs in the city and hence joining these could serve you a dual purpose — of building a social circle and pursuing your hobby.

Team effort

Team sports are a great way to socialise. They build team spirit in you and, as you continue to play with and against each other, there is a bond that builds which can sometimes last a lifetime.

Course through

Learning a new thing with a new person may then make that new person your new friend. Learning is a rewarding experience and so is meeting new friends. When you join a language course there is a possibility that you end up making new friends and also learning the language more effectively.

Group culture

Join a group of some sort with which you have a common goal. Try joining that society as a way to be around people with the same passions and wishes as yourself. It does wonders to your sense of identity too.

Be more visible

Maybe you already have a number of acquaintances but very few friends. Maybe that's because you are less visible as a person who is into meeting new friends. Try a makeover, some chatting with your colleagues and new actions that will represent you; this will help you a great deal because people will know what you are like.

Venture out

You won't meet a whole lot of people by sitting in the confines of your home. You need to be more active, go out, have dinner at restaurants, go into clubs, go to the cinema — anything that will help you meet interesting people.

Something’s different

As a famous song says, start wearing purple today. Bring some changes in your life. Change is good for you and they will help you cope with a lot of life's unpredictabilities. With all those changes, you'll find new friends, and maybe even some best friends.

Q: 14/F
Okay. Here it goes. Me and my friend [Dree] and her friend [my crush Drew] were going to the movies. The movie was so boring that we decided to play truth or dare. So, Dree [my friend] dared me to kiss Drew [my crush]. I said umm...okay. Drew [my crush] was like NO NO NO! WE ARE JUST FRIENDS!!! I felt like crying. I don't know what to do. I want to go out with him but I feel like I choke every time he is around! WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO?!

Visit www.magiccrush.com
or www.crushcalculator.com ..The sites will tell you what to do.That way you'll find out if he likes you.If he doesn't he is not worth the trouble.You'll find someone else.

Q: i am reallyy scard of spiders. i always feel like there crawling on mee. i cant even sleep in my room if there WAS/IS a spider in there. i cant stnad it any more. like before i go to sleep i look all around my room for one. then i find out this boy had two spiders in his ear! oh my god i cant even immagine how i would react if there was a spider in my ear. any way is there something i can do to get over this fear? anything?

You will have to
1-Think about your past and what happened to lead to this phobia of spiders.Did you have any bad experience that could have led to this fear of spiders?
2-Confront you phobia gradually.You will have to start by looking at/touching a drawing of a spider.Then move on to keeping a dead spider twelve inches away from you.Then graduate to holding it(Ofcourse you will have to wash your hand afterwards).Then maybe actually hold a spider.
copy and paste these links in your browser-
http://www.google.co.in/search?hl=en&q=phobia+cure&meta=

http://www.google.co.in/search?hl=en&q=spider+phobia&meta=

http://www.google.co.in/search?hl=en&q=Arachnophobia+cure&meta=

Q: Ok, so i`m 13/f and i live in Los Angeles, california.

i need a place where i can find RED ROPING, and a STANCHION for cheap-ish. You know, the kinds bouncers use to let people in clubs and stuff?

This is for a school dance, the theme is nightclub, so if you guys have any good ideas as well, please let me know.
the dance is VERY SOON!
thanks

1)Call a local club and ask them where they get theirs from.Maybe offer to buy any old ones they happen to have from them.

2)Improvise.Get two sticks and some ribbon.Use clay or plaster of paris for the base(If you use clay,you will have to wet it and wait till it becomes dry.It will become hard.And then paint it.)

Q: im 5'9" 14/f and i weigh like 140. i have NEVER weighed this much. no matter what i do, i cant seem to lose weight. ive even ate less than 1200 calories in a day and excercise, but no luck. i hate it!! what shoud i do? i cant stand weighing this much!

If you search for BMI calculator and weight chart in google.You're tall and it's natural for you to weigh more than you're shorter friends.You can never judge if you are fat by your weight.Muscle is five times denser than fat.Many people say pounds don't count.Do you look overweight to yourself?Pounds a very small.That is why people way several more pounds than people who are just slightly shorter/thinner than them.People want to way very little rather than be fit.
When you eat less,your metabolism slows down.That is whow the human body is made to cope with famine.
You could read the book "Japenese women don't get old or fat" by Naomi Moriyama.
Try eating small frequent meals to increase your metabolism.Eat salads and fruits.Eat about five or six small meals a day.Eat according to instinct.Eat what you think you should.
Try to work a little exercise into your daily routine.Run up the stairs or go for a walk.

This trick can increase your metabolism by a lot!Wear strap on weights for a day and go about with your daily routine.Do this regularly but not to often.

Q: Okay, so lately I have been feeling very apathetic about things like; school, relationships, friendships, and my family. I used to be such a 'nice' person according to my friends and family. But then suddenly my personality's changing, and I really don't know why. It's not an existential kind of problem, but more of 'I don't know who I am as a person' kind of problem. It's been really bothering my lately, and it has been deteriorating the relationships I have made around the people that I really care about. I didn't think that I needed help for this, but it's really bugging me. How can I know who I really am as a person?

You could try to search for "personality quiz" at www.google.com .
Think about your life and what it was like before and after you felt like this.Maybe you should talk about this to someone.
This kind of thing never last too long.In the end it will surely be allright.Try to understand your life and yourself.Don't give up.You will eventually succeed.
Talk to people and let them know how you feel.Explain to them that they mean a lot to you and you don't want to lose them.

Q: ok so im 14/f

not on the tip of my nipple but in the dark area i have a pimple looking thing. it's on both breasts in around the same area.

any ideas on what this could be?
thanks so much in advance

I don't think that is something to be worried about.You could search for "breast health" or "nipple skin" in google.On some site some 17-year old girl posted something saying she thought she had breast cancer because of some bumps on her breast but it just meant that they were still growing.

Hope I helped
♥

Q: Okay, so how do you determine what your life color is? Like in colorology? xD lol, thanks.

search for an online quiz.If you want two words to appear together put them in inverted commers eg."life color".While searching,remember to spell colour with and without a U.Search for quizzes on www.quizzila.com,www.blogthings.com and www.google.com.Look at this link:
http://www.google.co.in/search?hl=en&q=%22life+colour+%22quiz&meta=

Q: Say you had so called friends mybe one real one and one accompliance with that person you d not like so much and they were talking about girls they thought were pretty and you weren't included but they all were would you still consider these people your friends?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.Many people believe that we are coustom made and that we look exactly like we would want to look.Women like being women,men like being men,so people who look a certain way should like lookin like that.
Even if people aren't your real friends yet,they still can be, it is nice to have friends so I wouldn't give up on being friends with anyone.
Were you not actively participant in the conversation?Were you just waiting and watching to see if anyone mentioned your name?That could be why they forgot to mantion you.They probably didn't think about whether or not you should be on the list.If you had added someone,they wold've thought about you being on the list.Chance are,they didn't know if you were on the list or not and assumed that you were allready on they list because they didn't have have it written on paper.
***Remember,no matter what people think,you're beautiful and no matter what they say or don't say,you always will be.

Q: ok i absolutely hate my mom. shes so over protective and its annoying me and getting on my last nerves. im 15 years old. and my cousin who is 7 has more freedom than i do. my mother doesnt trust me. and i tell her that and shes liek not thats not it. and im like yes it is. and it jsut goes on. but i know she doesnt trust me and its so annoying. i dont have my own room because she says im not old enough for any privacy. she goes through all of my stuff everyday to see whats going on in my life. its like she has cameras in my room or something. theres this hole in my closet in the corner and i stick my diary in there. and my diary has a lock. and i go to the hole in the corner of my closet (which my mom had no clue we had) and i have a picture covering the hole. so i go there after school and my diary is there open with the lock torn off. i mean its seriously getting out of hand. i have a password to get on my side of the computer (becuase they dont trust me for my own) and they have it wired so they can get in with their own or something and then they have this friend who is a computer wizz and looks through my whole entire computer and they find out everything. all these conversations i have and all. i had this boy who i liked and we would talk and all on the computer. and that was all. she never heard of him. i never told her about him. (becuase i cant have a boyfriend) and then all of a sudden i go to these family events for holidays and hes always being talked about. and im like omg how in the world do you know? and when i tell them its all not true they wont believe me. and at some points me saying we werent going out was true. and it still is. and they still wont believe me. and the only reason why my mom isnt knowing that im writing about her is because shes in the shower. but she will find out that im writing this. andi hope she does. i mean i even talk about it to her. and shes like i do trust you. but i mean i cnat hang out with my friends she always has to be there or my sister does. she goes through my phone all the time to see who i talk to and what about. and my dad is so nice and for my birthday i wanted my own computer and my dad s liek sure. but my moms liek your not old enough for that much privacy. i eman i just got my cell phone. and when im at my friends houses she calls every 10 minutes to see what im doing and if i dont pick up she comes and gets me. and i like start to break out in tears becuase its way out of hand. but she wont stop. and i do talk to her about it. i just dont know what to do. you dont know how bad i hate her. and she knows i do. im ready to just leave and go somewhere. live somewhere else. even if its on the streets. and i have left before and she just follows me. i cant stand living with her. i wnat out. please help.

Wow!It is getting out of hand!You call her and tell her that you want to talk to her for an hour.No body leaves till and hour is over.You tell her how you feel and how miserable this makes you and how you want it to change and how you don't see why it shouldn't.just talk and let her listen.Ask her not to talk till you are done.When you're done let her just talk and you listen.Don't say anything till she's done.Try to understand how she feels,why she does what she does and what she wants to get out of it.If talking doesn't work,you might want to consider seeing a family therapist.

If words can't make her understand how you feel,you have to show her what she is doing to you.Since you don't want to ruin your relationship further you show her what she is doing and how she is treating you like a baby by say callin her and asking her to feed you.

Find out how her parents treated her.Ask her if she was treated like this and if she did not have any freedom.Find out about her childhood.Keep her talking.Do what therapists do and ask lots of questions.Turn everthing she says into a question.
Ask her how she was treated and what she thinks would have happened if she was treated diferently.Find out what she is afraid is going to happen to you if you are treated differently.If you think it is all irrational phobias.Read up about phobia treatment.
-look into her past to find the cause of her irrational phobias.
-Have her slowly confront her fears(If she is afraid of letting you cross the road cross it twenty times in front of her.Stuff like that)
I don't know much about treating phobias.Read about them in google.
Tell your mother that you want to have an open relationship with her(I'm asuming you do) and that you want her to be your friend but you want to tell her things willingly .Tell her that if she keeps doing this,it will only harm your relationship and you will never willingly be open with her.
When you talk to her about this,your mood will make a big difference.Keep in mind,your mother is not at fault.She just is a very confused person who probably has been through a lot.Her life has made her this way.Don't be accusing.Just show her you're trying to make things right between the two of you.

If your mother is behind you 24/7,MAYBE she has too much time on her hands.MAYBE she should think of getting a job she likes or a hobby or socialising more.

Q: Is this game something you have to go out and buy, or is it something that you can just download off the Internet for free?

you can down load anything of the net.
There are many folder sharing softwares
like limewire(you can get it at www.limewire.com) or shareaza.
Try searching for "audition.exe" or "audition.exe game" at www.google.com
Hope I helped,
xoxo

Q: So me and my boyfriend's 6month anniversary is on April 30th :) I love him soo much! But that's beyond the question haha.

I have no idea what to get him as a gift..
I was thinking a scrapbook but then I realized I had nooo fricken pictures haha. So I need help bad.

Please, ANY suggestions would help!!

How about....
A picture frame
Flowers(men like getting flowers too) and cake
A book
CD or some kind of music
A poem or video you made
A nice evening
A candle lit dinner
A box of chocolates
A trophy for the best boyfriend ever
A CD or video of some movie
Tickets to a concert or something he would like to go to
Heart shaped coockies
search for gift ideas at www.google.com

Q: My aunt told me that the reason why guys never seem interested in me is not because I'm unattractive or anything, but because I'm "completely unapproachable" (even though I'm not aware of it) and people don't want to be around me because they're afraid that I'll make fun of them........even though I've never made fun of anyone before.

How can I be more "approachable"? Smile more, stop listening to my iPod in public, what should I do to make myself seem more open?

I think your aunt is just making a guess.Young guys usually go out with girls because they have a high dating market value.Guys either pursue a girl because they actually like her or because they want someone with a high dating market value
If there happens to be a guy who cares actually about you,it will increase your dating market value.
If you are labelled "beautiful",for some reason like a modelling job or something,it will increase your dating market value.
If getting you to go out guys is a challenge,your dating market value increases.
If being with you for any reason seems like a challenge your dating market value will increase.
Wait for a guy who likes you for who you are rather than your dating market value.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and may people believe we are made for ourselves and that we are coustom made,that we look just like we would have wanted to look.
Type "unaproachable quiz" in google and see if you find some quizzes you can take.

look at this link
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=174092

Q: me and my boyfriend play this game on the phone where we ask each other questions like "have you ever been in love?" and stuff like that. i need a list of questions i can ask him. thanks :]

When was your most embaressing moment?
When was your happiest moment?
What scares you?
What is your favourite time of the day?
What is your favourite pastime?
What is you favourite day of the year?
What would you do if you woke up in the morning and discovered you turned in to (whoever)?
What is the craziest thing you've ever don?
If you could go back in time,what would you do?
What nicknames have you had?
What is the first thing you do when you get up in the morning?
What is the worst thing your parents have seen you do?
What is the worst thing you parents have not seen you do?
What do you dream of at night?
What is the craziest thing you have thought of doing?
What is the craziest thing you want to do?
What are your wildest dreams?
What is your favourite T.V show?
What do you desire the most?
What do you enjoy doing the most?
Which was the best day you had recently?
What is the strangest/craziest silliest thing you did/said?
What makes you say ,"Yipee"(any othe exclaimation of happiness)?
What makes you say,"oh crap"?
What makes you say,"thank goodness"?
Who are you most scared of?
What is you idea of a perfect day?
What is your worst nightmare?
What confuses you the most?
What is your biggest achievement?
What is your biggest regret?
What is the last thing you think of at night?
What you think about the most?
What is your favourite food?
What is your favourite place?
What is your favourite movie?

Q: when you are at a party dancing and your not good all u can do is go side to side and when a girl looks at you does she think what a dickhead or any think like that......thanks.......

Well,that depends on the girl.But she is unlikely to be so unfairly judgemental.Just because someone is dancing,you're not going to be thought of as a "dickhead".She could have been thinking that you are shy pr not really having a good time at the most.Just dancing not qualify as being "dickheaded"We don't all have such different taste.If you dance extremely strangely,you will know.When at a dance party,be conofident.If a person is confident,no matter how badly he dances,no one will think he dances badly.They will laugh and joke about it,dance like that themselves and all enjoy themselves.Have fun,forget what other people are thinking and just go ahead and enjoy yourself.Be natural,be yourself.You'll be allright and you won't be labelled "dickhead".

Q: 15/f

i like this guy in my chemistry class and i talk to him in class and we flirt and such. recently, he's been making his flirting a lot more obvious. like he'll come up behind me and pretend to bump into me and does little things just to touch me. so i'm basically assuming that he likes me (i think that's safe to say). how do i make myself more approachable? or how do i make the first move?

(keep in mind that we only have this one class together and we're like friends but not like 'hey lets go to the movies together' friends.. so none of that.)

Get closer to him.The longer you two are togher,the more chances something will happen.Get flirty.Do what he does.Pretend to bump into him and do little things just to touch him.Enjoy yourself.These things happen best when they happen instinctively.Have fun.Be confident.Look in to his eyes and may be touch him,just a pat on the shoulder.The more he responds,the more you should respond.If you feel he is responding enough,you can go onto things like running you fingers up and down his arm/neck whatever.Just be spontaneous,do what comes naturally.Be yourself.

Q: If you've seen the movie, that's how my life is right now, except I didn't have sex with my bestfriend, I just slept in the same bed as him. He won't talk to me now, it's been about 6 days. He used to call everyday, constantly come over, etc. What's wrong? I'm so upset. Should I leave him alone?

Communication is the answer to all relationship probloms.Talk to him.Tell him how you feel,ask him how he feels.Try to understand each other better.Ask him if and why he feels awkward and show him he doesn't have to.

Q: I worrying so much, about love life, famliy, career, friends, will i be myself when i move away. i worrying what others think about me, i'm worryed right now! How do you stop worrying?

Try meditating.Repeat to yourself "I'll be allright".Enjoy life.Listen to music that you like or meditation music.No matter what happens you are sure to be okay in the end because you will become a stronger person and if you think about history and a lot of things ,You'll notice that things just have a way of working out.Try to understand what is making you worry.

Q: my life is so dull right now. i feel like everyday is for nothing. wake up go to school, learn crap i dont care about, laugh a few laughs, go to soccer, come home eat a little, hw, talk to a few friends, then bed. and same thing over and over. and i feel like whats life if i do the same thing everday. and i mean idk where my life is going its boring right now and idk what to do to "spice it up". and i'm not the greastes soccer player ever..i'd like to think i'm good. i'm not the thinnest person or beatuful..at least i don't think i am. and i havn't had a crush in like 3 months and my life is so dull right now. i want a speical guy in my life. i've been waiting for so long nothing. and my life is so dull right now...

i just don't understand? all i want is a better life and i've tired but it just isn't working. and the whole bf part its not like i'm searching or crushing on ever guy. he's just not there.

Try to understand what exactly you like about your life.If you don't like soccer,do something you really like.Try to accomplish some of your life goals.Find a hobby you love.You neve have to be the thinnest person.Do you want people to be able to see you ribs and look dead?You are the most beautiful person.Many people elieve god has made us to look the way we would want to and has also given us the talents that we would want.We look and are the way we want to be.But some times things happenthat make people feel insecure.But back to the question.Wait for the right guy.Guys make life more interesting even if they are not involved with you.Get together with your girl friends and call a guy and put him on speaker phone.Tease the guys with you girlfriends.Call new guys and maybe ask questions like "Are you hot?"Do fun things like have a party or go swimming.Maybe get a job you like.Celebrate foreign festivals.If you like art and stuff try making wind chimes or things like combining photography,archietecture and sculpture.Try www.discoverfun.com
Have fun!

bio

Hi,♥
I'm Nerina.My mother is Italian and my father is Lebanese.I live in Lebanon.I love giving advice and doing things any other girl does.I think life is wonderful and it give you an opportunity to do the things you love.If I want to do something,I do it right away.I love fashion,fun and festivities.I have written a book about something I never thought I would!I sent it to four publishers because it kept getting rejected.But I spiced up the story and kept trying.I have done some modelling(had to dress in a gorilla suit once but I still love modelling) .My mother owns a dance school.I love dancing and danced on stage a few times too.
xoxo