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i wanna kill my mom. i hate her soooo much
ok i absolutely hate my mom. shes so over protective and its annoying me and getting on my last nerves. im 15 years old. and my cousin who is 7 has more freedom than i do. my mother doesnt trust me. and i tell her that and shes liek not thats not it. and im like yes it is. and it jsut goes on. but i know she doesnt trust me and its so annoying. i dont have my own room because she says im not old enough for any privacy. she goes through all of my stuff everyday to see whats going on in my life. its like she has cameras in my room or something. theres this hole in my closet in the corner and i stick my diary in there. and my diary has a lock. and i go to the hole in the corner of my closet (which my mom had no clue we had) and i have a picture covering the hole. so i go there after school and my diary is there open with the lock torn off. i mean its seriously getting out of hand. i have a password to get on my side of the computer (becuase they dont trust me for my own) and they have it wired so they can get in with their own or something and then they have this friend who is a computer wizz and looks through my whole entire computer and they find out everything. all these conversations i have and all. i had this boy who i liked and we would talk and all on the computer. and that was all. she never heard of him. i never told her about him. (becuase i cant have a boyfriend) and then all of a sudden i go to these family events for holidays and hes always being talked about. and im like omg how in the world do you know? and when i tell them its all not true they wont believe me. and at some points me saying we werent going out was true. and it still is. and they still wont believe me. and the only reason why my mom isnt knowing that im writing about her is because shes in the shower. but she will find out that im writing this. andi hope she does. i mean i even talk about it to her. and shes like i do trust you. but i mean i cnat hang out with my friends she always has to be there or my sister does. she goes through my phone all the time to see who i talk to and what about. and my dad is so nice and for my birthday i wanted my own computer and my dad s liek sure. but my moms liek your not old enough for that much privacy. i eman i just got my cell phone. and when im at my friends houses she calls every 10 minutes to see what im doing and if i dont pick up she comes and gets me. and i like start to break out in tears becuase its way out of hand. but she wont stop. and i do talk to her about it. i just dont know what to do. you dont know how bad i hate her. and she knows i do. im ready to just leave and go somewhere. live somewhere else. even if its on the streets. and i have left before and she just follows me. i cant stand living with her. i wnat out. please help.
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Yes, I will agree, she is a little overprotective.
However, she's not doing anything wrong by supervising your use of the computer (which is, by rights, hers) or reading your diary. As long as you live in her house, she kind of has the right to snoop around.
My parents did the same thing when I was living at home... it drove me nuts! What worked for me was not hiding things. Use the same user account on the computer. Stop using a locked diary and hiding it. I know it's tough to do, but just don't have anything to hide and eventually she'll realize that there's no reason to be snooping.
Don't hate her just because she's overprotective. I know you're in your years of developing your own identity and independence, but she just wants to help you make the right choices. So many teenagers these days are going down the wrong path, and it shows that she really cares if she'll go to those lengths to protect you.
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Wow!It is getting out of hand!You call her and tell her that you want to talk to her for an hour.No body leaves till and hour is over.You tell her how you feel and how miserable this makes you and how you want it to change and how you don't see why it shouldn't.just talk and let her listen.Ask her not to talk till you are done.When you're done let her just talk and you listen.Don't say anything till she's done.Try to understand how she feels,why she does what she does and what she wants to get out of it.If talking doesn't work,you might want to consider seeing a family therapist.
If words can't make her understand how you feel,you have to show her what she is doing to you.Since you don't want to ruin your relationship further you show her what she is doing and how she is treating you like a baby by say callin her and asking her to feed you.
Find out how her parents treated her.Ask her if she was treated like this and if she did not have any freedom.Find out about her childhood.Keep her talking.Do what therapists do and ask lots of questions.Turn everthing she says into a question.
Ask her how she was treated and what she thinks would have happened if she was treated diferently.Find out what she is afraid is going to happen to you if you are treated differently.If you think it is all irrational phobias.Read up about phobia treatment.
-look into her past to find the cause of her irrational phobias.
-Have her slowly confront her fears(If she is afraid of letting you cross the road cross it twenty times in front of her.Stuff like that)
I don't know much about treating phobias.Read about them in google.
Tell your mother that you want to have an open relationship with her(I'm asuming you do) and that you want her to be your friend but you want to tell her things willingly .Tell her that if she keeps doing this,it will only harm your relationship and you will never willingly be open with her.
When you talk to her about this,your mood will make a big difference.Keep in mind,your mother is not at fault.She just is a very confused person who probably has been through a lot.Her life has made her this way.Don't be accusing.Just show her you're trying to make things right between the two of you.
If your mother is behind you 24/7,MAYBE she has too much time on her hands.MAYBE she should think of getting a job she likes or a hobby or socialising more.
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