BIOGRAPHY:
My name is Carrie, and I just recently turned 25. I've been told that I give excellent advice, so I created this column last year with the intention of helping as many people as possible. Although I do believe I succeeded, I ultimately turned my back on this column when I discovered just how cruel and thankless some people can be. Almost one year later a lot has changed. I've gained a whole new perspective on life and the world around me. I'm much more positive, sympathetic, and willing to listen when people truly need help. So now I've decided to come back and focus my attention on the individuals who are truly in need of advice.
ADVICE:
I'm very genuine when it comes to giving advice. I try to be sympathetic to the person asking the question, but I don't ever sugar coat things. I've learned quickly that many people who ask for help don't really want advice - they want someone who will say what they want to hear. Sorry, but you're not going to get that with me. I'm not here to make friends (if a friendship happens though, yay for me!). You'll always get the truth from me whether you like it or not. While the truth may sting just a bit to begin with, it will absolutely set you free in the long run. If you want to be lied to, please seek advice from somebody else.
CONTACT INFO:
If you like my advice and have additional questions for me, click on the link right underneath this profile that says "Ask Me A Question." If you leave your follow-up question for me in my feedback, I have no way of replying to it. Please use the link. Also, I have an e-mail address where people can get in touch with me if they need to. Feel free to use it.
IMPORTANT:
This may be a hobby in some people's eyes, but I don't like it when people waste my time regardless of whatever it is I'm doing, which in this case, is providing a free service out of the kindness of my heart. So please don't ask me stupid questions, and please make an effort to type sensibly so that I can read and understand your question. I know there are a lot of young people on this site, but that's no excuse to type like you're brain dead. Proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation is highly appreciated with me. The more intelligent your question is, the more intelligent of a response you'll get from me.
ABOUT ME:
Here are some facts about me. I like pop music (especially Madonna). I like horror movies (especially Scream). I like to chat (on MSN). I love to write (poetry, screenplays, short stories). I love shopping (Best Buy). I'm a gamer (I'm better than a guy - Xbox 360 all the way). I have a MySpace (Click "Ask Carrie" for the link). I love my doggies (I have 2). I'm not a bitch (...well, sometimes). I love to laugh (and sometimes I pee a little when I do). It happens.
Website: Ask Carrie
E-mail: soundslikepink@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: South Carolina
Occupation: What's that?
Age: 25
Member Since: June 10, 2007
Answers: 195
Last Update: September 13, 2008
Visitors: 17100
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F/13.
im depressed. the guy i like doesn't like me the same way. my step-dad has hit and bruised me about 5 or 6 times in the past 4 months. my mom is dying of a disease. everyone i care about is starting to hate me, because they're getting to know the real me. and it sucks, because right now i need people the most.
i cry myself to sleep, and today [[march 30]] i started cutting again. after not cutting for 2 1/2 months. my mom doesn't know i started cutting again. my therapist might put me on anti-depressants. i'm prolly bi-polar and have ADHD. the only people i have left are the people that can't help me through it. [[except a few people]] and i don't know what to do. i can't help this depression, and i want it to stop. but i can't. my best friend [[that's a girl]] is prolly the girl that everyone thinks im going out with. and my best guy friend is the guy i love, and wanna go out with. im going through the normal shit. times 5 billion. i barely get any sleep. and when i do i have nightmares. about what im gonna turn into. and it sucks because im turning into the person that i hate. i hate my step-dad's part of the family with a passion, but i have to deal with them. i need to talk to my real dad. but i can't. im scared of what he's gonna think. i don't care what people think of me, but im terrifyed of what they think, i think im ugly, i hate the way i am, and how i look. the only reason i haven't commited suicide is because of one person. but i think i'm loosing them. please. help me get over my depression, help me. talk to me, keep me alive. keep me going, please. i wanna hang on. but it's hard when nobody cares. please.
aim:randomconfusionx
i just need someone to talk to, someone to keep me going.
please.
i wanna hold on. (link)
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I'm sorry to hear about your mother and your step father. Unfortunately, you can't do anything about what's happening to your mom, but you can do something to stop the abuse that's coming from your step dad. Talk to your therapist and tell him or her what's happening. Talk to a teacher or a guidance counselor. If you go to church, talk to someone there. Someone can help you get out of that situation.
Even though it might seem scary to leave behind the only kind of life you've ever known, you have to trust in the fact that there's something better out there waiting for you. You're still so incredibly young...giving up now would be a real shame because you have an incredible amount of potential. Once you get your life straightened out, the sky is the limit. When you're down, the only way to go is up.
As far as being put on anti-depressants is concerned, you need to realize that some people need medication. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You shouldn't feel weak or disabled because of it. I'm a diabetic and I have to take medication to keep my glucose levels from fluctuating. People take medications all the time for various reasons. If you are bi-polar, finding the right medicine will bring you a lot of relief.
You shouldn't have to feel as hopeless as you feel. Your life sounds incredibly complicated, but a lot of those complications could end if you were dealing with things correctly. If your doctor feels you need medication, take the medication and know that you're blessed to have something that could help you. There are lots of people out there suffering with problems there's no help for. You're not one of them!
As far as your best friends are concerned - you have enough stress in your life. You don't need to worry yourself with who likes who when you have all of these problems to deal with. A lot of your stress is coming from the simple fact that you're choosing to let it go on. If you want some instant relief, take a step back from this friend drama. In the grand scheme of things, it isn't important. What's important is you.
I truly believe you can get your life in order. I also believe that you can be happy and lead a normal life like everyone else, but it's going to take effort on your part. Stop cutting yourself and stop behaving like a bratty emo 13 year old who craves attention. Just because you are 13 doesn't mean you have to act like it. Also, stop whining, stop being such a drama queen, and stop feeling so sorry for yourself.
You may have it bad, but somebody out there always has it worse. It's one thing to be in a bad situation, but it's another thing to purposefully make that situation worse, which is what you're doing. I encourage you to accept help from others, but I also encourage you to learn to help yourself. Nobody is going to magically make all of the bad stuff in your life disappear. It's up to you how you cope with things.
Your mom is dying - live for her.
Your step dad hurts you - heal yourself.
Your friend may or may not like you - love yourself.
The bad thing about thoughts are that they're like waves - they're easy to get caught up in. Sometimes they make you fall and take you far away from the place you're supposed to be. The more that they consume you, the deeper you get lost in them until it feels like you're drowning. Sometimes that feeling can become so scary that everything appears hopeless and the idea of drowning becomes a wonderful relief.
The good thing about thoughts are that they aren't waves. They're only thoughts. Any time you feel like you're drowning and losing sight of where you're supposed to be, you can open up your eyes and see that you're the one who's in control. You only drown if you let yourself drown. And you only stop holding on when you're willing to give up and let go. If "nobody cares" like you say, you can only blame yourself for that.
You should care.
And if you did care, you'd show it by taking action and begin doing what's best for yourself. I suggest talking to a guidance counselor. I suggest printing this question out and showing them or showing it to your therapist. You don't have to deal with this all on your own, No matter how dark things are now, there is a light that's shining. One day you'll open up your eyes and see it and know that you're a survivor.
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14/F. okay so i dont no what is wrond with me. i used to be so happy, then i started cutting myself, idk why, and then on everything has just been going downhill from there. nothing ever makes me happy, and my recent mood change has made all me friends mad at me, and i can't tell them what's wrong because i dont even no what's wrong. im always tired and i never want to do anything. i dont laugh anymore and im never happy. depression and bi-polar run in my family, so im beggining to think i have one of those...i dontg no what to do and all i can think about is getting home and cutting and thinking of ways to kill myself. idk what to do...if anyone can help in anyway, that'd be great. so i'd like to no mainly if i have depression or what. thanks. (link)
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It sounds like you're depressed, but it also sounds like you're giving into it as well. Think of depression as a vacuum that's sucking you in. You can either fight against it and walk away from it or you can walk right into it and let it swallow you whole. Walking away from it might not be easy, but I can guarantee you that it is certainly possible.
Everyone suffers from depression at some point in their lives. For some people it can be situational and it goes away on its own. For other people it can last a while and take medication / professional help to overcome. The good news about depression is that it can always be overcome. Don't let your feelings fool you into thinking otherwise. You're in control.
I have suffered from depression on a few occasions. Most of the time it didn't last long, but a couple times it lasted a pretty good while. What I began to realize is that each time I battled with it, I was making it worse. I was letting my emotions control me instead of learning how to control my emotions. I was constantly thinking negatively 24/7.
I was beating myself up and putting myself in the role of the victim, which made my depression much worse. Now I've learned how to deal with depression (and anxiety) appropriately through cognitive behavioral therapy and by reading everything I could about positive thinking. The internet is a wonderful resource for gaining such information. Now I'm not a victim, I'm a fighter.
The first thing depression makes you feel like doing is isolating yourself from everyone else. Think of that aspect of depression as a hungry animal that you feed every time you give in to it. The trick to overcoming depression is to love and care for yourself and to starve that animal until it goes away. Every time you shy away from friends and family, you're feeding it and giving it power.
You have to cut off that power supply even if it feels like you don't have the energy or willpower to come out of isolation. This is where you'll have to do some work. Force yourself to get back into your normal routine. Ignore those depressive emotions. Remember, you control your emotions, they don't control you. Once you take control and make positive thinking a habit, you'll feel better.
I can promise you that it won't be easy and that it'll take a great deal of effort and practice, but you're worth it. The first thing you should do is talk to your parents about how you're feeling. Open up a line of communication with them so they can help you out. If they're unable to help you, talk to a guidance counselor at school and be open and honest with them completely.
No one is going to punish you or think less of you because of this situation. Don't let the disparity of depression fool you. A lot of people will want to help you with this problem, especially since it's a problem that runs in your family. Let people help you and learn to help yourself. Turn off those negative thoughts in your head and replace them with positive thoughts.
Even if you don't believe them at first, you will eventually. The old saying is true: practice makes perfect. Think of how many times or how long you've been thinking to yourself "I'm so sad," "why me?" "I wish I was dead," "I can't take this anymore," etc. I bet you've been doing it for quite a while and now you've perfected the fine art of making yourself feel sad and hopeless.
You CAN turn it around.
Unfortunately, because bipolar disorder runs in your family, you may have to be put on medication. That can be tricky because some medications help and some don't and finding the right one takes time. Have a doctor diagnose you with the disorder before you begin to treat it. You may NOT be bipolar. Fortunately, medications can be very helpful in many ways, so don't let that get you down.
I highly recommend talking to a therapist as well as a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist will push pills on you. A therapist will try to treat you without pills first. If you, your parents, a guidance counselor, etc. can find someone for you to talk to who's both a therapist AND a psychiatrist, that would be best. Please go in informed before you talk to someone. Learn about the various methods of treatment.
There are so many helpful treatments and options that giving up shouldn't even cross your mind, but it's understandable that it does. Don't give into it and focus on facts, not feelings. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a really wonderful form of therapy because it helps train you to think more positively and it encourages you to take an active role in your own treatment.
I can provide you with many helpful links if you're interested or you can go to Google and do some research on your own if you'd like. If you need further help, don't hesitate to email me. My email address is on my column. I wish you the best of luck and I know you'll get through this. If I can do it, and if millions and millions of other people can do it, you absolutely can too.
Ignore those negative, scary thoughts that make you sad. Ignore those people who're getting you down because they don't understand. Focus on yourself and the people around you who care. You've already taken the first step and reached out to us. Take the next step and reach out to those around you. Be strong. Be brave. And go get the help that you deserve. You're absolutely worth it. :)
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Ok So my bf and I had unprotected sex. I KNOW the whole "omg you shouldnt ever do that without protection" I know.. Well Im very worried of course. He used the withdrawal method and Ive read studies on precum on how it may not contain sperm depending on certain circumstances such as if hes previously masturbated or gone to the bathroom. Ive done the withdrawal method before when i was less experienced with it and found when i did it before i was very less careful. I didnt get pregnant though. im not due for my period until the end of the month so im worrying myself and maybe for nothing but how can i keep from being worried? FYI when we had sex he is like 100% sure he didnt get it in me and it was like 3 days after my period so it wasnt my most fertile time. any advice would be helpful! thanks! (link)
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You're way too immature and ignorant to be having sex. I'm sure this answer is likely to get you mad, but someone needs to say it so it might as well be me. You say you "KNOW" the whole speech, yet you do it anyway. Either you have a death wish or you want the burden of an unexpected pregnancy. Both situations could be avoided simply by using protection or remaining abstinent. Honestly, since you seem to be so foolish, I would consider giving up sex until you've had some time to grow up.
What you THINK you "KNOW" is absolutely meaningless. This boy could have any number of STDs and could be giving them to you every time you have sex. I'm sure you "KNOW" him well enough to trust him, and I'm sure you think you love him, but if he sincerely loved you, would he be risking your life for his own selfish desires? It's not him that will be carrying a child for nine months, and it's probably not him who'd be raising the child for at least 18 years of its life.
If he truly loved you, he would encourage you to respect yourself and love yourself. Right now, despite what you might think, you neither love nor respect yourself or him. If you did, you would want to ensure long, healthy lives for both of yourselves so you could be together for as long as possible. At this rate, you and your boyfriend will split up in no time. If you can do it without getting pregnant or an STD, it'll be a miracle.
Use your brain and protect yourself. Take a step back from all your emotions and hormones and remember that you only live once. People die everyday from AIDs for non-sexual reasons. You are putting yourself at risk needlessly time and time again for sexual pleasure. It's honestly not worth of it. Think of him and yourself lying in hospitals with the HIV virus eating away at you until you're both dead...how do you think that'll make the people around you who truly love you feel?
You might be able to undo a pregnancy, which is disgusting, but you can't undo various STDs. You need to really use your head about this, I can't stress that enough. Think of your future - don't get so caught up in the moment. It won't hurt either of you to use protection. If you truly love each other and want the best for each other, you will be safe and be smart. Otherwise, both of you should keep doing what you're doing and prepare yourselves for a horrible future headed your way.
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Ok, i want to have sex with my bf but i dont know how to tell him im ready
can you tell me how to tell him..... (link)
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If you don't know how to approach your boyfriend about having sex, you're not ready to have sex. Trust me, you'll regret it if you go through with it because you're obviously not ready. If you were ready and comfortable enough with him to go through with this, discussing it with him wouldn't be a problem. You should save your body for a guy whom you adore - someone you can tell anything to and be yourself around. Don't sell yourself short. Please wait.
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um..my bf wants to try anal, but im afraid it will hurt. i dont even know why girls like this because, how exactly does it give us pleasure? i mean, i want to do it because i want to make him feel good, but i dont want to be in pain or be uncomfortable just to make him happy. how bad does it hurt if it hurts at all? help. (link)
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The tricky thing about anal sex is that no matter what precautions you take, it can still be painful. Some girls enjoy it and experience more pleasure than pain, but many girls don't like it all. If you're scared to try it, my advise would be to wait until you're interested in trying it. If you never have any interest in it, then don't do it at all. Your boyfriend will understand.
When you're scared or nervous, it makes anal sex even more painful because the muscles in your anus tighten. You have to be nice and relaxed to experience pleasure from anal sex (and even that doesn't guarantee that you'll enjoy it). If relaxing during anal penetrations seems like it will impossible for you, then having pain-free anal sex will be impossible for you.
As for why some girls enjoy anal sex - there are several possible reasons. The nerve endings in the anus feels good to some girls when they're being penetrated. Also, some girls enjoy the feeling of being full when their boyfriend's penis is inside of them. Another possible reason is the fact that anal sex is socially taboo and the act of doing something naughty is sexy to some girls.
I'm sure I don't have to tell you that if your boyfriend doesn't understand, then he's a jerk. If he continues to insist, make him a deal that you'll try it when he tries shoving a dildo the size of his penis up his ass. If you decide to go through with it, use lots and lots of lubrication and a condom. Don't use more than one condom and go crazy with the lubrication. You can't use too much.
Good luck and have fun. :)
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why do guys like bj's so much. what's wrong with a simple hj, its the same thing minus the spit. or does it feel different, i dont know i dont have a dick. someone please tell me why bj's are so much better (link)
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Stick the index finger of whatever hand you use in the palm of your other hand and wrap your fingers around it. Now stick that same finger in your mouth. Which feels better to you? Take into consideration that when a guy has an erect penis, it's erect because blood rushes in from other parts of his body and makes it hard and sensitive, so the sensations of a wet mouth feels very good to the guy.
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when i am giving my bf a bj do i move the skin up and down or just like slide my lips up and down without moving the skin? (link)
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A good blowjob is a joint effort between the mouth and the hands. As you suck him off, stroke him off too. And instead of guessing and/or hoping he likes what you're doing, simply ask him. Think of his penis as a microphone. If you're willing to suck on it, don't be afraid to talk into it.
Ask him what he likes and if what you're doing is feeling good. He'll let you know. There's really nothing you can do to make it un-enjoyable for him unless you're scraping your teeth against it or biting it. If that's the case, back away from the penis. Otherwise, any attention you give to it will be welcome.
There are things that can be done to enhance the pleasure, but not a lot can be done to make him dislike it. That's why guys love blowjobs. Even when it's not being done right, it's still hot. And with practice, you'll be able to do it exactly how he likes it.
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My BF and I were having anal and we had no idea what we where doing, so for some reason his penis went down towards my vagina and then the condom broke. We don't think there was any seman on it or anything because he did not cum. so i took a test and it said i wasn't and then i got my period today, but its really light and spotting. Could i still be pragent? or what is the chance of me being pragent? (link)
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My advice is to not do anything sexually if you don't know what you're doing. If you haven't done something before, instead of just jumping into it, do some research first and learn about what you're getting yourself into. Yes, it might take some effort on your part and his, but it beats the effort both of you (probably and especially you) will be putting into raising a child you aren't ready for.
If I were you, I would go to the doctor and get yourself checked out - make sure you aren't pregnant or anything like that. The chance of you being pregnant from this sexual experience - if it took place the way you said it did, which I'm sure it did - is very, very slim. I wouldn't worry if I were you, but I would play it safe and go get things checked out.
If you decide to have anal sex again in the future, use an obscene amount of lubrication. You can NEVER use too much lubrication - I tell this to people all the time when it comes to anal sex. Your problem was, if you were using any at all, you probably weren't using enough and the friction caused the latex to tear. Not only might his condom tear, but your anus could tear and cause bleeding and expose you to a lot of stuff NOBODY wants to be exposed to.
So here's my anal sex checklist in case you decide to do it again:
1. Make him use a condom like you did before - (don't let him use more than one condom - don't let him "double bag it." Latex on latex friction makes it very easy for condoms to break and actually defeats the purpose of wearing any condom at all.).
2. Use lots of lubrication. Just when you think you've used too much, use more. There's no such thing as too much lubrication. Lubricate his penis, lubricate your anus, lubricate fingers or any toys that may be involved...go crazy with the lubrication.
3. Stimulate yourself anally before he penetrates you. He can use his fingers; you can use yours, or you can experiment with a toy. Either way, the anus is not meant for penetration, so if you're going to penetrate it then do it gradually.
4. Practice breathing techniques before and during anal play. Learn to relax yourself through the power of breathing properly. There's a bunch of websites out there - educate yourself. If you tense up, so will your anus, and it'll be even more difficult for him to get inside. When you learn to breathe properly, it can be a very enjoyable experience.
I hope this helps. :)
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I took the morning after pill a couple hours after having sex. The condom was not suppossed to break. How could this happen to me. I really hope that it works I am to young to be pregant. Do you think that the pill will work. (link)
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If I were you, I would visit a doctor immediately. It's not at all uncommon for condoms to break. Each time you have sex you're taking a huge risk. Make sure the person you're with is worth the risk. Very few guys are worth it.
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Is a 13-14 year olds sperm as effective as a 18+ sperm?
Or is one weaker than the other? (link)
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Sperm is sperm.
Any male who can achieve an erection can make a baby just as easily as an 18 year old guy or a 35 year old man. Make any male you sleep with wear a condom. You're putting yourself as risk if you don't. Also, they make condoms for females. They're more complicated, but not as complicated as being pregnant for 9 months and raising a human being for 18 years. Be smart and be safe.
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me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a year. we're both 17 by the way. at the begining of the year we had a rough patch in the relationship but everything's fine now. anyways about 6 months ago i started giving him hand jobs and i've been fine with that. now we talked about me giving him a blow job which when we talk about it i'm fine with it, even a little excited, and we'll plan when we can get together but when we actually get together and we're alone, i chicken out and find some excuse to why i won't do it when there really isn't any good excuse. then the minute i leave him i regret it. i want to do this i really do and not just because he's asking for it. im not the type of girl that stands by my guy's side and does what he wants. so why can't i get over this anxiety of giving a blow job? (link)
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Just because you want to do it doesn't mean you're ready. I've been there before and so have a lot of girls. We have hormones too, and though girls rarely speak about it as often as boys, we get just as horny as they do. So why can't you go through with it? Probably the same reason I can't go through with the 6 guy gang bang I've been wanting to have since I was 11! I've never worked up the nerve to do it, and I probably never will - I've made peace with that.
That doesn't mean you won't ever give your boyfriend a blowjob. It just means you're not ready. When the time is right, it'll happen. There will always be anxiety when doing anything for the first time, but you'll push through it and get the job done (pun SO intended). I don't think I have to tell you this, but I will anyway...Just because your boyfriend WANTS a blowjob doesn't mean you have to give him one. Between porn and the internet, it seems like everyone's doing it, but trust me, everyone's not. You can ALWAYS say no.
Again, I know you know, but I'm just throwing that out there. If you need anymore advice about anything, please feel free to ask me another question. I'll do my best to help.
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So, I've been with this guy for a while and only one guy before him. And whenever I give him a blowjob, I can never get him to cum using just my mouth. It usually ends with him having to jack himself off. Any tips? And no website links please. (link)
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Just as some females are unable to orgasm through sexual intercourse, some males are unable to orgasm through oral sex. Don't take it personally. There could be a number of reasons why this is happening. Many men associate sexual pleasure with their hand (specific touches, the temperature, the grip, etc.) and find it difficult or impossible to climax without it being involved.
You might want to try using your hand while giving him the blowjob, alternating the movement of your hand with the movement of your mouth. Also, don't be afraid to talk to your partner. Ask him if he likes what you're doing and be specific. Consider asking him if likes the way you're hold his penis in your hand or if he likes the way you're stroking it when you're sucking him off.
You might be jerking him off one way when he's used to jerking himself off another way. This is a very important detail you have to pay attention to if you want to get him to climax. Remember, a blowjob should be a joint effort involving your mouth and your hands. Learn to use both to give your man the ultimate experience and don't be afraid to mix it up and try new techniques.
Bring some treats into the bedroom to add some extra spice to your experience. An erect penis can be a lot of fun when mixed with the right foods. Get out the ice cream and make yourself a banana split. Yummy! Toppings like whipped cream and/or chocolate syrup can make going down a lot more pleasurable for both you and him. If you want to get really kinky, get some Pop Rocks (little exploding candies) and give him a blowjob he'll never forget.
Or simply run an ice cube up and down your guy's shaft in between sucking him off - the mixture of the cold ice cube and the warmth of your mouth will send him over the edge. If he's still unable to climax, just remember that they don't call it a job for nothing, and some bosses are never pleased no matter what you do. As long as you put in the effort, feel free to pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
Keep in touch and let me know if any of this helps. :)
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now. We have done everything sexual except anal sex. He has always wanted to try it but from my friends experiences I'd rather not. Recently I have been thinking about it and i kind of wanted to try it but I don't know how bad it will hurt. Can anyone share there experiences or thoughts to help me decide? (link)
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First of all, if you're uncomfortable with any form of sexual activity, you shouldn't be experimenting with it until you're 100% ready to give it a go. Not only could forcing yourself into this situation harm you psychologically, but it could harm your relationship with your boyfriend if you begin to view him as the one who talked you into doing something you weren't comfortable with and/or weren't ready for.
Second of all, if you are ready to give anal sex a try, I would highly suggest you experiment on your own first. This could give you a taste of what's to come without the pressure of having to go through with it just to please him. Many females agree that anal sex feels the best when you've been stimulated beforehand. The next time you're masturbating (with fingers, toys, etc.), begin to explore your anus. It's your body, you should know what you like and don't like with or without the help of a guy.
Third of all, there are various sexual precautions you need to take before you engage in any sexual activity regarding your anus. Most importantly, please make sure your boyfriend is wearing a condom. No matter how much you trust him, the statistics linking anal sex and STDs are far too overwhelming to put your health at risk. Also, know that not using enough lubrication can cause tearing, which isn't very pleasant. You can NEVER use too much lubrication. Finally, educate yourself about the practice of anal sex and make your experience an enjoyable, yet informed one.
You can find more information on safe sex and how to make anal sex a (more) pleasurable experience by doing some research on the internet or checking out some books at your local library (yes, those still exist!). Also, you can get a lot of great tips about sex (numerous forms) from magazines such as Cosmopolitan (and magazines of that nature), so make sure to keep your eye out. There's tons of information out there that you can use to your advantage, so be safe and have fun!
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