I've been dating a man and woman, I dont want the woman anymore, I have been honest and she won't leave me alone, im all she has, she has no mom or any family, she is so annoying what to do to get her out of my life. She says I owe her and she will kill herself if i leave. She makes me feel guilty but i started a family with my man and want to live right and drama free for my children. Please help!
Oooh, how deliciously Jerry Springer! This is the juiciest question we've had on site for a while. To be honest, I don't think there's anything to choose between you and your ex-girlfriend:you both sound equally selfish, manipulative and drama loving.Honestly,a household like the one you have just described is no place to bring up children. But since this site is about advice, not recrimination, I'll cut to the chase, and tell you to cut her loose. Serioulsy, it's your duty. You have a duty of care and responsibilty to your husband(although he sounds like an idiot to have tolerated your behaviour for so long) and more importantly to your children. Ignore your ex's suicidal talk-empty threat. Or if not, then still not your responsibility.Of the two of you , your life is the more valuable, not, I hasten to add, on account of your personality, but on account of your circumstances and responsibilities. She has a job, let her find a life. Be brutal if need be-it's the greatest kindness, long term. Stringing her along would be false kindness-so far, you have shown no appreciation of the nature of true love or kindness. You will never learn, if you do not cut her loose. You sound like a true drama addict-manipulative, sly and shallow. Grow up already! And let her grow up too.
Good luck.
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hi i am rohit. i have been doing masturbation since 4 years. tell me what are the ill effects of doing this? should i stop doing this? what are the advantages of this too?
You'll go blind, hairs will grow on the palms of your hands and you'll be more infertile than if you took a daily bath in Mountain Dew.
Ahem.... Just kidding. No ill effects whatsoever.(Nor are there to drinking MD, just to reassure our dimmer-witted teen readers). The advantage is that you get your edge off during lean times, ie release sexual tension when you're not getting laid.
Enjoy!
Lucretia.
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Hey, right about now I have no clue what to do with my life. I am 16 and just had a baby last August. The man I thought was his father turned out not to be, it turned out that the guy that raped me is my sons father. After this all came out and I have the results on paper that the man I love is not the father and the one I despise is his father I do not know what to do with my life anymore. My sons father hasn't talked to me since we found out he was the father and I just don't know what to do. I also am trying to get things together with my ex, who was the one I thought was the father but I just don't know what to do. We were together for 2 and a half years, so I mean I am still in love with him. HELP ME SOMEBODY!!
The real problem that you have to address is the relationship between you and your ex. Forget your baby's father- you don't want a rapist in your child's life. Be thankful that he doesn't want anything to do with your son-it would be more of a problem if he wanted visitation rights.
I don't know what to suggest that you do to mend the relationship between you and your ex, since you don't mention why you split up. You are so young that it would be remarkable if you did form a lasting and solid relationship(although I'm not saying that that never happens). Really, you need to assure your ex of your love for him, and tell him that you don't think of the other guy as your son's father. I warn you though, you may not get through to him, as he may not be crazy about standing as father to another man's child.
As to the legal postion, I don't know how it works in your state, but I should imagine that your baby's father is obliged to pay child support. I don't think that gives him automatic visitation rights, but to get the exact legal position, contact your state department.
In all of this, don'y forget yourself and your wellbeing. You have gone and are going through a very harrowing experience; are you in regular contact with a doctor or clinic? Remember to take care of yourself, for your child's sake as much as for your own. It might be an idea to ask your doctor to recommend you to a counselor, just to keep yourself sane.
Good luck, and take care,
Lucretia.
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I am an 18 year old female and I have been getting my period since I was about 13. I get my period every month. This month, however, I got my period for about a week(which is normal) ...but now, my period should be done by now. There is no more red blood, however, there is brown when I wipe. It kind of looks like brown blood, if that makes sense. This has never happened to me before in all these 5 years I have had my period. Please voice your opinions if you think you can help. Thank you very much.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: noone on this site is a doctor, so none of us can tell you exactly why this is happening. Make an appointment with your doctor or visit a gynacologist, if you're that worried.
Having said that, what you have described happens to me quite sporadically;and as in your case, started happening about four or five years into my period. I wouldn't worry about it.
Good luck.
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Hi,
My parents really want me to play water polo. I do not want to play, however. I was on the swim team, but I do not want to play water polo. The coaches called me, and everyone in my family wants me to play but I don't want to play at all! (For many reasons). What should I do? See if I end up liking it, or not doing it.
I would suggest that you quietly and simply explain to yoir parents the reasons you don't want to add water polo to your list of activities. I thinl that if you told them that it might ake up too much time and intefere with your grades, they're more likely to be sympathetic than if you cited other hobbies.
That said, of course, you could compromise by offering to give the polo a try and then drop it if it gets too much. The snag of that solution is that while your parents might well be happy with it, your coach is far less likely to be. On balance, I really recommend just being assertive and telling them no:that is your right.
Good Luck.
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How do you know when you're about to orgasm? I feel like I'm getting there, yet I never seem to be able to reach it. Maybe what I'm feeling isn't the precurser..
You just need to concentrate your mind. Chances are that if you have to ask how you feel before you're about to come, you've never been that close. What always works for me is to have several erotic fantasies on the go, pretty much overlapping with each other. That way, if one becomes stale, you substitute another. Tease yourself by cutiing back and forth, and above all give yourself time. If you feel rushed, you might come but it won't be as hard or for as long.
Relax and enjoy!
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I am just wondering but what does your first time actually feel like cause i have made the decision to have sex but i want the facts.
For a start, I am going to patronise you by asking how old you are. You sound fairly clued up, and it's good that you're getting the facts, but if you're worrying about how it feels, you might not be quite ready. Have you discussed it fully with your boyfriend? Of course he must understand that he needs to wear a condom(I'm sure he does).
But to get to your question, it varies from woman to woman. All vaginas get more flexible with use-thus a virgin has a smaller and tighter hole than an experienced and sexually active woman(though vaginas still vary in size from woman to woman). I myself had a considerable amount of pain and rubbing, but no blood since my hymen was already torn(the hymen is the thin, stetchy "tarpaulin" which covers the vagina and which can easily be torn during non-sexual activites such as horseriding). If you're in pain, then ask him to slow down or even stop, then go at it again. You're unlikely to remember your first time as one of sexual ecstacy(that comes-excuse the pun-with practice) but it should be a good bonding experience with your boyfriend.
Good luck, and message me again if you need.
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My boyfriend is 13 years old..he is always horney and I wanted to know...do you think he would want to have sex? I'm not going to I was just wondering
It's very possible that he would want sex-which would make him just a normally curious thirteen year old, rather than "perverted" as massieblock says. If he's always horny, there's nothing to stop you fooling around, although you're quite right to hold off from intercourse.
Still, if he never talks about anything but sex, and it seems to be the only or even the most important factor in your relationship, you should move on. Not all boys are like that, even at age thirteen.
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aight look this dude was rubbin the head of his di*k on my pu**y because i told him he couldn't stick it in and PLUS he aint even have a condom and then he stuck it in and i pushed him back and moved so my 2 questions are....
1) is that called havin sex with him ?
2) could i be pregnant if thats all he did
now i really need to know this because it went farther then i wanted it to so if u could plz lemme kno wat chu think i would appreciate it!!!
I doubt that you're pregnant, since from what you say he didn't even come close to ejaculating. However, I would do two things:
1) Get a pregnancy test:either buy one from a pharmacy or go to a free clinic(if you have one where you live.
2) Stop fooling around without a condom. Continue the way you've been going, another "dude" might get rough and rape you. That way, your troubles might well be threefold;post rape trauma, pregnancy AND an STI or worse still, AIDS.
On consideration, that should be three things:
3)Learn correct spelling, punctuation and grammar.
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I'm 16/f catholic; and I masturbate. Is masturbating a form of lust, thereby making it unacceptable against the commandments? I was just wondering, as I found that I'm virtually addicted, and although it is healthy, I want to know whether it is morally wrong for me.
Cheers. I rate high
What you need to understand is the difference between what the church, Catholic or otherwise, considers wrong, and what actually is. Yes, masturbation is a form of lust, and as such is a Deadly Sin(NOT, however against any of the Ten Commandments-adultery is the only sexual crime detailed there). I'm not going to get into a long explanation of the reasoning behind religious customs, nor will I bash them(i leave that to st. gasoline). All I think is that you should quit worrying about masturbation and ponder instead on the true horrors of the world, such as hunger,war,xenophobia and Donald Trump's toupee.
Good luck!
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i have asked this before.
so my boyfreind asked me out.
and now basicly all he wants from me is sex.
it makes me really sad and dissapointed...
please help.
and dont say break up with him.
you guys dont know me.
i like him alot..
and if i dont have sex with him he might break up with me.
i seriously like him though.
i rate
Listen to protossc! As on many occasions, he tells it like it is. But if you want a woman's perspective, just listen to me. I too once had a selfish and immature boyfriend whodid nothing but wail because I wouldn't give it up. I stuck to my guns; he dumped me for another girl whom he promplty inpreganted, and left her quite literally holding the baby. Sure, I was upset when he dumped me, but looking back, that was more hurt pride than any nobler emotion, and boy am I glad that it wasn't me that got pregnant by him. There are loads of nice men in the world- go and find one of them and leave the losers to the lost causes. Good Luck!
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Hey, please no wise-cracks. I really don't want to deal with them right now.
Just a forewarning, this is a long one.
Everything at school used to be so easy. Then I got prescribed an anti-acne drug, and hit puberty - somewhere in there something went missing, went wrong. In the years since then, I've kind of slowly lost my purpose, occasionally it would come back, but I have no real "Drive" anymore. That is mainly what worries me. I have become the model of apathy, all the while worrying about it. I suppose that a lot of psychologists would call it depression, and try to make me "better". They would ask if I had suicidal thoughts and everything. The problem is that I live because I am living. I have suicidal thoughts, that don't MEAN anything, and I don't WANT to die - and I don't even know why, because I don't care about much anymore. I care, and I don't care. I wish I had real "fair-weather" friends, while at the same time I can't break away from my poisonous ones. My schoolwork is important, and I screw myself up worrying about it, when I could get it done so much faster without worrying, and be happy in my spare time. I don't even know why my schoolwork is important anymore, but I don't want to sacrifice it, because I know it would screw up the rest of my life. I play computer games, because I don't want to do homework, and I don't have the will to do anything that I need to do, or want to do. I keep a list of things I want to do when I have spare time, instead of wasting my life playing computer games, but somehow I feel that I will never do them, because I just go back and addict myself to a computer game. I know that I NEED to do things, and that I am screwing up my life, and I still just CAN'T find the discipline to DO anything.
So my question in short;
How do I find my will?
How do I discipline myself to do things that matter?
How do I find the courage to make new friends?
How do I shake that constant feeling of knowing I've been put in to boxes, and nobody knows who I am, and actually find people who will help me to feel happy?
Firstly, the fact that you are even asking advice about your various difficulties is a good sign- you have enough knowledge and even understanding of your problems to articulate them quite clearly.
You'll have heard this cliche a million times before, but teenage years really are difficult:I think that they are best described as an "ever-changing limbo" -you have neither security nor real stimulation(which two,contrary to popular belief, are not at all mutually exclusive-in fact, I believe that the one enhances the other).
I can really sympathise with what you're going through-I too was blissfully happy at high school for one year before everything went haywire, for no apparent cause. Sometimes what happens in life can appear quite arbitary- this is however, an illusion. You can act, and I think you already to some extent know how.I agree with milliethu's advice about the video games-but you need to ensure that you don't repalce them with something equally isolating. This site is actually an excellent place-you should try becoming a columnist!(everyone who logs on has the automatic right to do that). In giving advice , which usually has some relevance to your own experience, you can sometimes discover things about yourself that you hadn't fully realised before. It's also quite addictive, and while you don't make friends as such, you get to feel a certain affinity with your favourite columnists. In fact, internet chatrooms in general are a good place to make friends, and will perhaps build your confidence towards making contacts in the "real" world.
Just keep living from day to day, and you'll be allright. Feel free to drop a personal question in my inbox.
The best of luck, Lucretia.
Thank you for your response. I hope that I didn't patronise you by failing to realise that you were probably already a columnist. I have now also added you to my favourites, not in response to your doing that to me, which I would never do, but because I respect your column which had not previously come to my notice. Lucretiax.
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Hi, I would like to know simple exercises that I can do in my bedroom which will enhance my breasts and butt. I am a female and am so freakin flat on both ends that I feel masculine when I'm facing the mirror and just really disdain looking at my backside. Please help.
Thank you.
No excercises on this planet will "enhance your breasts and butt". It's just not possible- the only thing that you will do is make yourself muscular, which I presume is not what you want.
Nothing except surgery will fill you out.
Having said that, why do you want a different body shape? Don't think that I don't sympathise- I spent about two years absolutely hating most aspects of my body, and compliments made me feel even more insecure. I had the opposite problem from you- I felt too voluptuous (after having spent my childhood being mistaken for a boy). The body has the power to make us feel trapped, frusrated, and revolted/ing. But only if we let it! One good excercise to do, (which will only enhance your sexual confidence) is to masturbate, naked or partially clothed, in front of a mirror. It sounds extreme but is, in fact very enjoyable. Just think of your body as strong and functional rather than decorative and you'll be going the right way.
Potential sexual partners will find this confidence very attracive-you will be far more likely to inspire "the absolute yearning of one human body for another particular one and (its)
indiffernce to substitutes" (Iris Murdoch, The Black Prince) in your relatively boobless body if you have confidence, than with D cups and still obsessing about some other aspect of your appearance(which I guarantee you is what would happen, women are never satisfied). Try reading The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf and see where that takes you. Good luck! Lucretiaxx.
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My boyfriend just started fingering me. He's the first guy to ever do it to me. He's done it about 3 times now and everytime he does it... its not pleasurable at all. It's actually just kind of uncomfortable. I think something's wrong isnt it... i mean getting fingered sure def be pleasing to the girl right? Please help me. I'll rate. Thanks!
~Nicole
I'm sad to tell you the bad news, which is that nothing is wrong...... except that your boyfriend doesn't have a clitoris. Thus, it's quite natural that he won't be any good to begin with, this is only the first three times , right? Plus, you don't say how old you guys are, but I'm guessing somewhere in the early to mid teens. Well I'll tell you this much, guys just aren't innate experts. It's a technique which comes (no pun intended) with practice. Even my forty-seven year old ex-boyfriend, who was an excellent lover in nearly all other ways, gave hopeless finger(and he'd had over thirty years of practice).
None of which is intended to depress you-I'm just saying that you need to develop good communication skills. Don't moan and groan in false delight just to soothe his ego- if necessary, sweeten the pill by praising some other sex skill of his before confiding that his hand jobs don't do it for you. When you do tell him, be consructive, perhaps search out some support material(Em and Lo's The Big Bang is an excellent guide)and read it together- hopefully that'll get you all turned on , which is the perfect mood to set out on your quest for sexual bliss. Good Luck! Lucretia x.
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