helpachick's advice column | helpachick's Advice About General Sex Questions

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Q: My gifriend and i are thinking about having sex
were both virgins both 16 and im worried because ive got a small penis and im a bit worried that i wont be any good or satisfy her can you please a girl with a small penis?

the saying that size matters really means nothing. If it is your girlfriend's first time too, it would hurt more if you were bigger. A smaller size can be just as satisfying for a girl, even though it really doesn't even become an issue if you both care about each other :)
xoxo helpachick

Q: Alright well Im 15 and I drink and smoke. Well I have had sex with 12 people already. A few of them I really liked and most of them I was drunk. And I know thats not an excuse. But Ive been fucked over so many times by guys. Like I dont have any emotions anymore. But I can like name all of tthe people I did have sex with. But I still feel like im a slut and I dont want to be a slut or feel like one. Most of the time when im in a relationship I feel like I have to have sex with them. Or they keep bugging/begging me and I cave in sometimes. So Idk what to do.

yes, most people would classify you as a slut...but then again, most people like to classify any girl they can as a slut. its mostly because the girl's getting some and the person doing the name calling is jealous. either way though, you CAN start to prevent this from happening so much. you're probably right in saying that you have given yourself a reputation, and most guys probably want to 'date' you because they think they know that you'll put out. so if i were you i'd start by dating someone, and if they start hinting or wanting sex, just telling them no. this will send some guys walking straight away because you won't give it to them, but then that isn't really a guy any girl wants for an actual relationship. Hold out by not having sex with your guy for a while and see how each of you deal with this.
xoxo helpachick

Q: so this may be an immature question but when a guy fingers a girl does he go all the way into the vagina or just around the outside?

usually either/both. but if he goes all the way in and it hurts you (it might the first couple times) dont be afriad to tell him that it hurts or something. he should understand and pull his finger out a little bit. good luck..be careful..have fun.
xoxo helpachick

Q: what is the meaning/difference of these words?

oral sex:
anal sex:
blow job:
hand job:

also, can a blow job and hand job be performed on both a man and a woman?

thank you very much

oral sex: where the girl sucks on/bites/nibbles a guy's penis and the guy licks around her vagina.
anal sex: also known as 'butt sex', the guy literally puts his penis in the girls butt...sometimes painful, but its your preference.
blow job: part of oral sex, the girl puts his penis in her mouth and sucks, bites or nibbles..
hand job: the girl feeling around with the guys penis.

usually the terms for those two things are used just on guys. [because it involves their penis]

xoxo helpachick

Q: What is spooning and forking?

spooning is where he puts his penis through your back end and up to your front and it slides throught when you hump, and forking is when he comes through from the other way around.
xoxo helpachick

Q: ok so me and my boyfriend have given oral to each other and i gave him a handjob. we're both virgins and we want to do something new but we're not sure if we want to have sex yet. what can we do?

yeah this is completely fine, since you shouldnt have sex until your both Ready. you could have anal sex if you wanted [some people dont like it as much] and also im pretty sure he probably has done this but fingering would be alright. also a thing you two might enjoy is spooning or forking. yes he'll get right up close to there but he wont get inside you and the pleasure should be quite enjoyable to both of you. just be imaginitave i guess and dont do anything you dont want to do!
xoxo helpachick

Q: heyy i think im about ready for a more intimate relationship with my bf but
1. I have never been fingered before and I am worried about what the male thinks of pubic hair and what i should do about it and also what response they like and generally how it works
2. I have never given a hand job/ blow job and would like tips and advice plzz o"o
3. I have heard that it hurts first time...

thankyoo any advice woudl be appreciated :]

xx

oh god yeah, i think a lot of people have these worries before they start getting more involved. i know i did!
1. fingering may feel a little weird to you at first, especailly if you dont use tampons or anything..so nothing else has really ever been up there. but it will start to feel good and usually he will probably do it when you guys are kissing and making out anyways, so it wont be like an awkward moment or anything. the reaction will come natrually. if it feels really good then you will probably make some kind of moan noise or something, but dont try for it.
2. its not that hard to please a guy when it comes to gettin intimate with him, and messing with it "down there" makes it that much more easy. just sort of 'feel it up' i guess you could say...you'll most likely catch on once your actually doing it.
3. yeah, its gunna hurt. but nothing to worry about too much your cherry will most likely pop which means a little bleeding probably. but im sure if you do it a few times you will start to get used to the feeling and be able to enjoy the pleasure&closeness you two are sharing.

*4* now, i dont want to sound like your mom...haha, but dont do this unless your sure you wont regret doing things with him later on. you sound more sure, since it sounds like he's been your boyfriend and its not just like "i got a new boyfriend and i want to have sex" but just make sure your absolutly ready:)
xoxo helpachick

Q: Me and this guy were making out and then we started dry humping and his pants were wet so is there any way I can get pregnant? I was in jean shorts and he was in khaki shorts so that's enough clothing to prevent it right?

yeah, the clothes should deffinitly be enough. u most likely will only get pregnant if he actually gets inside you...which you have to be naked to do, of course. and i guess there could have been a chance if his bare penis came somewhere near your area, but it doesnt sound like he did, so you should be ok. =]
xoxo helpachick

Q: do 16 year old guys allready have sex????????

yea, i'm close to a lot of guys that have had sex when or before age 16. but i think this is sort of wrong b/c most regret it and meet someone later who they would have much rather lost their virginity to, or wish they would've waited longer. to make a story short, dont have sex until your ready and with someone who you love so incredibly much.
ok, now dont i just sound like your mother??:P
xoxo helpachick

Q: ok well im 15 and a virgin
but lately ive been really obsessed with the thought of having sex.
I really want to do it but i dont want to have anyone know and well it would be a real dissapointment to my parents if they everyfound out.
and well i really want to wait for the right time. i have no boyfriend and well i cant stop this obsession.!
what do you think i should do?

not too long ago i was thinking exactly what you are right now...every word.
except to add on to it...i had a boyfriend that i could do it with. and my parents would do the exact same thing but i was seriously thinking about it, just like you.
well its ok to think about it because its true that its really something people enjoy but you shouldn't want to enjoy it with just anybody, but with the somebody that you know you really really love. so my thoughts kind of changed after an experience i had but i wont go into that. the point is that you dont have to have sex to be happy, i am still with my same boyfriend and we are doing really fine. its fine to think about it, but be sure that you are actually dating or Married to the person you loose your virginity to, because once its gone you can never get it back from the person who took it from you.
xoxo helpachick

Q: I had sex with this boy
and oral and he fingered me, and the whole 9 yards.
But he used me for all of it,and I know it.
But the thing is, he had the chance to do it with either me OR my friend [becuase of the situation]
and he used to call me all the time
and talk to me online all the time
so it wasnt just a one night stand.
But he would continue to want to do it , and he even said to me " We are like sex partners" or something along those lines.
So whats the deal here?
Do you think he atleast thought I was pretty? Or what?
And yes i know it was a stupid mistake, theres nothing i can do about it now.
helP!

some guys are weird like this...but girls are too. a guy VERY close to me had this happen he really liked the girl but she just used him for the sex. and he was hurt by it a little and sounded a lot like you sound now. so this guy you had sex with: he probably thought you were really hot yeah, b/c guys who use girls for sex normaly look for looks more than anything. but i wouldnt keep being "sex partners" with him simply b/c he doesnt really feel anything for YoU and its not good for you to just keep doing it to give someone else somekind of sick pleasure. xoxo helpachick

Q: hi im breanna...i just turned 16 last month.....a week b-4 my b-day me and my boyfriend had sex and out of all the times i eva had sex my cherry has neva popped. we didnt use protection..... but this time when me and him had sex he came in me >>>>>>could i be pregnant?

yeah..there's a good chance you could be pregnant. but before you freak out either go to your doctor or use one of those at home pregnancy tests to be sure. good luck...xoxo helpachick

Q: first of all, i want to apologize for having such a long problem.
second, i am 13/f

i have this guyfriend and i used to think he was my best friend because he just understands me unlike anyone else. i have this other friend, who has a similar name to mine, in most of my classes, people confuse us CONSTANTLY. i didn't really mind it until he did it because i thought he liked me more than her.

i got my friend to ask him who his best friend that was a girl was (not to make it obvious by asking him if he liked me or her better) and he said that SHE was his best friend that's a girl!

i was extremely upset because i've been through a lot in the last two months such as losing several good friends because of extremely unnecessary fights and i've just been very sensitive and not really listening to anyone. i thought that maybe he was the only person that i could truly count on. i've been REALLY hurt these past two months, and it's like i just added to that.

also, he is definitely not her best guyfriend. but we would always talk i am just so surprised that he said that i couldnt even explain the shock. we got in a fight a few months ago but we are currently (good?) friends. to tell you the truth, i dont like any of my friends. he was the only one that i actually had real friend qualities.

i've been so super bitchy to him this whole week because he is constantly flirting and talking with her but everyone knows that he is just extremely nice to everyone so i am not sure if it's flirting or not. should i...

a. forget about it and act like nothing ever happened (near impossible)
b. apologize for being a total bitchy freak and stay friends (which is gonna be really hard to do)
c. not forget because i got really hurt and not be mean, but not be really nice to him
d. keep my space with him and ONLY talk to him when completely necessary (which is what i'm doing... i guess)

you dont even understand... i am just so upset i seriously just want to die. (i'm using that to show you how upset i am but i dont know or think i'm suicidal)

thanks beyond much ♥

hey! i'll start by sayin that options c and d are probably not the answers you want to go with. of course, if i were you i wouldnt just be able to forget about it either; he hurt you! and since he's your friend, he needs to know that. if i were you, i would apologize for being bitchy to him, but your a girl and thats the way you get when your feelings get hurt by your really good friend. since you said he is just a really nice guy, maybe he told your other friend she was his best friend that's a girl because she was the one asking, and he didnt want to hurt her feelings by saying someone else's name. so tell him that he hurt you and try to work things out that way, and then keep on going and being friends like you were, because he was always there for you before, so he will be now too. this is really tough but you will pull through, believe me! xoxo helpachick

Q: can i get pregnate from this? and he just came over 2 say sorry, so wat do i do?

ok so if i'm guessing right..are the the same girl who's question i answered yesterday about being raped? if so here's my answer.

well, if you have your period and are sure that he didnt use any protection, and you hadnt been on pills or anything, then yes there is a chance you could get pregnent... however this is where going to your parents and then the hospital right away is a good thing. they can help you and tell you if you are pregnant or not. and as for him coming over to "say he was sorry" well..ok it was good to say that but for doing something that big to you, just a simple sorry is not going to cut it. he is going to have to work really hard to even have a chance to regain even a little trust from you. if i were you i would stay away from him for sure, and not trust him as a friend or anything for at least a very very long time. and even if he did say he was sorry, you still need to tell the police because no matter if he is sorry or not, maybe he should have thought of that before he raped you. good luck with all of this. xoxo helpachick

Q: okay...i'm 13, and just lost my virginaty yesterday. actually, i'm not sure if i did or didn't. i was raped by my next door neighbor who is 16, and has a gf. also, my bf came to find me, and caught me being raped, but he thought that we were actually having sex. now he's mad and won't talk to me because i won't have sex with him. i really need help talking to him and everything. and should i tell my parents? or not? help!!!

omg yes tell your parents. they'll help you get in touch with police and you should go to the hospital to get tested and make sure everything is ok. as for your b/f. well put yourself in his shoes. seeing that would have been quite a blow especially since he thought you were doing something different. just call him or get him alone sometime and you should tell him the truth. he should trust that you are telling the truth. he might not know what to say at first, and maybe walk away. but in time he will most likely come back and comfort you, and you guys will be able to work things out. but omg i just wish you the best of luck in all this...i can only imagine how stressful and hard that would all be. xoxo helpachick

Q: Hey my name is Rachel and iam 17 years old and my boyfriend asked me to have sex and I love him and i know iam ready but the thing is what should I tell my mom?

i wouldn't tell your mom anything on this subject. she doesn't tell you about her sex life, so you sort of have the right to keep your private too. just be safe and there will be no reason why she has to know. xoxo helpachick

Q: 13/f almost 14
I think i'm getting my period. >:|
Lately, I've had white stuff in my underwear and REALLY bad cramps [i got sent home from school for them today; along with the fact they made me puke.] Also; My boobs got bigger in the last month. What do you think? Do you think I'll get it soon? What should I do if I get it in school?
Thank you.

Yeah your definitley getting it. its alright though, not much to stress about. what you need to do is just always have pads with you somewhere at school. this way you'll have them if you need them. since your cramps are getting bad, you should try taking a motrin or something every morning before school and that should keep them under control for a while. maybe after lunch if you feel them coming really strong again, then go to the nurse and ask for one. good luck and it's really not bad once you get the hang of things!
xoxo helpachick

Q: 15/f
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 4 months now and i still havent given him a handjob yet because i am so nervous (ive never given a handjob before).. can you please tell me everything i need to know.. like should i use lotion or not? etc.. and just any tips would be great.. if you can't say it on here then you can give me your sn for aim.. thanks

hey well personally i dont think you should be doing this until you feel totally confident in what your doing. but yes make sure your hands are soft so lotion them every morning and night or something but dont have any lotion on right before you do it...u dont want the chemicals in the lotion to like hurt him or something. make sure he's ok with it too. has he said something about you giving him a handjob?? hope i helped never really had a question like that before xoxo helpachick

Q: Okay I'm 13/f and I have liked this one guy scince last year. Me and my one friend talked to him about it. He said that I'm prude and weird to my friend and when I asked him about it he said that He loves me and never would say that. Then he asked if I could give him a hand Job. At first I said sure but I didn't really feel like doing it becuase I was neruves. After that he asked my friend if I would let him eat me out and let him finger me. Then my friend asked me if I would and I said I dunno and she told him IDK[I odn't know] and then he asked if I would give him head[blow job]. I wanna do this stuff to him. Like I've fingured my self before and like I want him to do it. I'm just kinda worried. Would he like it shaved. Would he like me after. Should I do it?
13/f

since you are having questions about "should you do it" then no..you shouldnt. since your having even the slightest doubt, it still shows your just not ready to do that yet.
xoxo helpachick

Q: ok im with this guy and weve been together for 1 month and i am so ready to have sex with him and i really do trust him and weve spoken about sex so many times but after how many months do u think i should actually have sex i dont want to have it too early..
please answer thanx
ill rate high
xxx

hey...well you never know when things might change. wait until youve been together like id say probably 8 months...i know its seems like a long time but if you really love eachother you can wait!!!

bio

hey im helpachick & i want to help you if i can. more than most of the questions i answer i have experienced something close to that myself. so feel free to ask&leave stuff in my inbox or whatever, and i'll try to get back soonish.

what about me?
I'm in college majoring in Fashion Textiles and Merchandising. I love fashion, boys, my friends, music, and love being active and outdoors. theres a lot more i could put about me but this is advicenators not myspace!!
ask away^.^