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on the inside, i am an insecure person. people who really truly know me know that, many do not. i am constantly saying negative things about myself. people think that im doing it to get positive feedback and responses. to me, ive always put myself down since i can remember. the only reason i do it is because it makes me feel comfortable to point out my flaws before someone else has time to criticize them. how can i try to control myself from saying these things. its basically a reflex at this point. and i have been working on my insecurities over the years, and although they have dwindled, when it comes down to it, i am just a self conscious person at my core. basically, i just need some advice. how do i stop myself from criticizing myself openly? how can i ever really like myself? thanks (link)
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Well you just need to teach yourself not to say things like that. Do it for the sake of other people and for yourself.
There is one girl I know, she talks negatively about herself all the time. It can get really annoying because she isn't that bad. It can bring people down too. Just your attitude alone can bring people down and effect them so alot of people need to watch themselves.
I'm not saying you're annoying or anything, just making sure you know this before it gets to the point of too much.
Everybody is self conscious and has things about them they'd like to change or don't like. You just need to deal with them and accept that you're not perfect and no one else is. Just think to yourself the good things and just try to teach yourself to watch what you say. Good luck!
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19/f. i can't believe im sitting here complaining about this. but anyways i was friends with a girl. let's call her Jane. Jane and i worked together, and we had a math class semester. we hung out for a while and i told her a few embarrassing secrets about me. Well anyways she was rude to me sometimes and i was too and it kind of hurt so i told her and she said she was joking and she didn't mean to hurt me. well anyways Jane and i spent two weekends in a row. then she had to go to San Antonio so we didn't hangout that weekend. the next weekend i asked her if she wanted to hangout but she said her mom took her phone, so i said okay. Then i got a text from her phone saying why don't you go to Dairy Queen and buy a hamburger. And i had told her about this boy i met there and went on a date with and we hooked up, and then she started talking to him on facebook because she wanted to see who he was, so i was like fine, and she became friends with him. and that text was a reference to me being skinny obviously. I asked her about that text and she told me that Fred did it. She said he took her phone and was texting people. I was mad but then i got over it. I felt stupid though for telling her my secrets. then i asked her like maybe a few weeks later if she wanted to hangout and she said she doesn't know what she's doing. but then i saw her facebook status and some girl asked her if she wanted to hangout on Friday and she said yes. now i had a problem with this for a while but then i said whatever they're other people out there and we hung out a lot anyways. so Jane has this gay friend she hung out with a lot. At school he saw me and said oh hey your Jane's friend and i was like yeah and felt awkward, because i hadn't talked to them in so long, and i was mad because i remembered that text he sent. I wasn't sure if it was him, but anyways today Fred saw me again and Jane was with him and he said really loudly hey Jane look it's your best friend and she turned around and i was like hey and i felt weird and Jane just started laughing in my face. and i was so embarrassed i walked away and she was like um okay? and i heard her saying something but fred was like shh. so i don't know what her problem is. i mean i hadn't seen her in so long and when she saw me she was so rude. i mean she had no reason to be. so why would she do that? i mean she had no reason what so ever. (link)
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Well it's kinda hard to tell about her but if you're unsure that she is trustworthy or saying things behind your back then you should talk to her. If she tells you it was a misunderstanding then see where it goes from there. I mean us girls usually jump to conclusions on about pretty much everything so who knows what really happened. So talk to her. If she told you it was a misunderstanding but still acted the same, ect. Then she isn't a really good friend. I mean you could either just stop being her friend or just have her as a friend but not as close as you used to be and not spilling all your secrets to her. So I hope everything works out!
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Ok well here's the problem first I don't have any friends I don't hang out and my dog is my best friend .and you are probably thinking what the hell .but I think I am antisocial .I don't have nothing in comon with people .actualy people eritate me its like what people do doesn't make any since. So I just keep to myself I can't say that I'm happy but its just the way that I am so does this make me antisocial ? No clue !! (link)
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I wouldn't consider you antisocial. Cause I think you want friends, right? Nothing is wrong with having a dog as a best friend :) They're awesome but having regular friends is good too. I guess it seems like the people around you irritate you because you don't really have anything in common with them. You should find something people that have the same interests as you so you might not find them as irritating.
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me and my friend always talk a lot, we're really good friends, we may argue but only playfully, she would always call me and talk to me a lot, but lately she doesnt call me and she doesnt really talk to me that much anymore and when i joke around with her like we always do,she somewhat plays along with me but after a while she just gets mad at me, she is acting kind of distant around me, and im not doing anything about this at all, i dont know why but im scared to tell her that why she hasnt been acting the way shes been acting and im just letting things happenened and its making me sad but i dont have the guts to tell her, why am i not doing anything and why is she acting that way? am i overreacting? (link)
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There could be lots of reasons why she's acting like that. Maybe she's looking for something different, different people, different things. She could be getting bored or maybe tired of the jokes? Who knows. I'm not saying this is what is happening but there are lots of possibilities. Maybe you are looking into it too deep? But either way you should just go talk to her. You guys seem close so I don't think it'd be a problem if you were like, "hey, I want to ask you a question" Then be like, "Are you mad at me or is there anything thats going on with us?" If she tells you its nothing, explain to her why you feel that way. She might clear some things up and maybe you might fix it. Just try and talk to her. Good luck!
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F/13
I just met a new friend this year. I thought she was amazing. Except she is kinda strange b/c she dresses emo and goth but says she's not. She also is OBSESSED with tokio hotel and hellboy. And it gets sooooooo anoying b/c she talks about them all the time. So she also told me in the beginning of the year that alot of ppl turn on her b/c they think she's wierd and gets really mean. And I was like "that could never happen with us. Well be friends forever." boy was I wrong. We always had fights. One day we'd be friends and then the next we'd be enemies. So one day I was walking home with my friend and he asked to have her number. I told him I'd have to ask her first. So the next day I was joking around and told her I gave him her number. So then she said.....and I quote....."so I don't care" so then I gave it to him. Then the next day she was all mad at me. Cussing me out, talking about me behind my back, pushing me out of her way in the halls. She just is such a jerk. Then one time....since she's obsessed with tokio hotel I was telling her that bill looked like a girl. So then she says "OMG NO HE DOESNT!!!!! If he looks like a girl then that means you look like a boy." so then our friend Mariah told her the EXACT SAME THING. And then she replies "I kno seriously. He needs to change his image" and I was standing there lik WTF So what should I do???????should I stay friends with the basterd or try to fix the friendship?????? (link)
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You could find better friends. Friends that will treat you right. First try talking to her and explain everything without arguing. If you don't think you can do it without getting into another fight, just don't do it. If you do talk to her and nothing changes, go find better friends. If you decide not to talk to her at all, then do the same thing. Don't be a total jerk to her, you can keep her in your life if you want but keep distance. Find some better friends that you'll be happy with.
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theres this girl in my school. She is very pretty and wear gorgous clothes. Her and I talk a little and she and me have a great sense of humor. I dont want to sound desperate but i kinda want to be her best friend. I mean my old friends are sorta not the kind you wanna be around with. Is there any way I can be friends with and even maybe best friends? (link)
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If you want to be friends with someone, be yourself. Don't act like a fake cause don't you want people to like you for you? You probably knew that already, but just a heads up.
But honestly, if you really want to be friends with someone be nice, helpful, and talk to her. Don't go over the top because like you said you don't want to be desperate.
Start off with being friends and if you guys get along well then say you guys should hang out sometime.
You might want to get to know her first before deciding if she would be a good friend for you. Just cause she's pretty and wears nice clothes doesn't mean she's all that nice. Just warning. But just start off with talking and it goes from there.
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Me and my bestfriend get in fights over the most stupid things! At first I think she's joking, but then I can see she's not! I really love her as my friend, but the fights make MY life worse! What should I do? (link)
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First talk to her. Tell her you love her as a friend but you guys gotta be able to talk to each other without getting into arguments.
Try figuring out why she gets upset about things so easily.
Whenever you guys do start to argue or get mad just stop. Change the subject or something. Eventually it'll get more normal. But just watch what you say for awhile and see what happens.
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i have this best friend she likes this one boy but he rather be with me i dont mean in a love kind of way he already told her he didnt like her so now she gets mad when he talks to me and she keeps asking me if i like him i told her no but she wont let it go and she even started saying that he likes me iv told her to drop it but she keeps picking at it and i dont know what to do cause i dont like him and i dont think he likes me what do i do stop[ talking to him but if i do he might try harder to talk to me and get her even more mad what do i do (link)
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I get how she would be upset but I mean if you don't hate him and or anything then it doesn't mean you have to stop talking to him just cause your friend gets mad because she had liked him and he likes you. That same thing happened with me and I'm pretty good friends with the guy now, he is still into me and everything but we're friends. Just calmly sit with your friend and tell her that you don't like him but its not gonna be any problem if you talk to him because that's their problem, not yours. You should have every right to talk to him anyway you know? So good luck!
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I am fourteen, and my best friend has been really mean to me, she punches me in the stomach, pressure points me, squeezes my arm, and it's her way to take out her anger!! The other day she broke into my other best friends locker and tried to steal her gum! I don't want to rat her out, but I need to get her controlled!!
She rammed her violin into me because I didn't give her the answers to our math test! I told her she needs to figure it out, it's your test. Was i right about doing that? Should I remain friends with her? What do I tell her? How do I tell her? Please help me!! (link)
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Well, before you go to anyone else. Try talking to her about it. Tell her how you feel about it and ask her if she would stop. If she does, then that's great. It might not be easy at first for her, because of habits but if you see her trying, she's making an effort. If she doesn't stop, you need to distance yourself or even back out of the friendship. You don't want to keep getting hurt. Just calmly talk to her about it. Good luck!
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i'm 19 female. i'm doing online college right now, due to certain issues. basically, i dont have any friends my age. i only have one good friend of mine who i've known since the 7th grade. we do hang out alot but the only people i hang out with are in high school... LAME. i just get along with them really well, there like juniors and seniors in high school but i HATE hanging out with them because honestly i feel like an idiot. i even feel like other people are like, "why is she hanging out with 16,17,18 yr olds?!" my parents are judgemental too, saying i need friends my age. my good friend who is my age doesnt hang out with anyone either. we don't really talk to anyone else, like we cant go visit someone at college. it's not like i go to the high school events.. NOOOOOO nono, i dont. that would be weird. but i do hang out with them. i am starting to feel depressed, i need friends my age :( (link)
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It's not that big of a deal. I love hanging out with people older than me. I'm 15 and I hang out with juniors and seniors. I have friends that are 8th and 9th graders too. Be glad you have friends. :) But it's not that hard to make friends. Just when you meet someone that seems cool start talking to them. Small talk. Then soon you guys will be talking more often and get closer. Your not that old either. It's not like your 25 or 30 years old hanging out with kids in high school.
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alright so heres my problem. I am a 15 year old girl who has never had a boyfriend. never had a kiss or even a guy tell me he likes me. becaues of this i now have little confidence. also this year when i entered high school all of my friends got gorgous. most of them have blonde hair and blue eyes, one of them is the prettiset girl in my grade. and when im with them i feel so down because i am not pretty at all. seriously i have brown hair and eyes and just a weird face. plz help. plz. if i dont figure this out soon im gonna go through high school resenting my friends and always wishing for something i didnt have(good looks) (link)
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Ok I doubt you are ugly. I have a confidence issue too. Like you, I feel jealous when I'm around my pretty friends. But seriously, I've gotten way better. I'm 14, turning 15 this year. I have had boyfriends but most of it was stupid. I haven't had my first kiss yet either. You don't need a boyfriend. One of my friends are like boy crazy and always needs a guy to make her happy. Its kinda sad. All she gets is guys who use her. You don't want that. To be honest, one day you will find the guy who will think everything about you is great. Instead of being in high school wishing you were someone else.
Ok, so your not the prettiest girl in the school. I'm not either. Doesn't mean there is no hope for you. Don't get jealous over those kind of things. Real guys see the personality.
The problem with alot of guys today is that they are after looks. And only looks. Its sad. They could care less if the girl is nice but all they want to do is use the girl.
My desperate friend had a crush on a guy. She thinks she is so ugly and guys don't like her. Yet, so many guys have liked her and she is pretty. She has brown hair and brown eyes. She is a really good girl, but she thinks she will be happier with a boyfriend. Right now, she claims she is in love with a guy. This guy is horrible, and he uses her. Its really sad.
Seriously, if you show who you really are, you don't need looks to get you through high school.
Just wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and pretty. Not too tight and not too loose.
So just because your friends are blond with blue eyes doesn't mean people with brown hair and brown eyes are ugly. We are all individual and we all look different. Yeah, beautiful in our own way. Good luck and think positive!
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I'm a lot different than the group of friends I hang out with the most. I'm more street smart/creative/artistic while they're mainly all about education (this is only about some of them, not all of them). Because of this, I tend to get treated as the "outcast" in the group and in all honesty, I feel like I'm not even treated like a friend. I like who I am and I don't plan to change myself for anyone. I just want to be treated like a real friend, what should I do? (link)
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Well I think you should talk to them. If they realize what they are doing and decide to let you back in, then your fine. But if they decide, whatever, you need new friends. Some that will treat you better. Everybody is different but you should still be treated fairly even though you aren't like everybody in your group. As long as you treat them right, then they shouldn't have a problem. It could be another problem why they are treating you like this. I wouldn't know. Just talk to them and see what happens. If it doesn't change, go find some friends that appreciate you. Good luck!
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So my bestfriend was dating this guy, who had it really bad for her, they had only been official for a little over 2 weeks, but they had been spending alot of time together & he really liked her. Well one day, she decides she likes her guy bestfriend,(her ex boyfriend who took her virginitys brother) her & her "bestfriend" wanted to keep it all under wraps so her ex wouldn't find out, so they decided they wouldnt go out, they would just do physical stuff without being together, & she only told me & another girl.
Well at first she was just going to cheat on her boyfriend, but then she decided to break up with him. She told him that it was because she was grounded for the rest of the summer & wouldn't be able to see him. He knew it was a lie & he kept texting me & begging me to tell him the real reason, & he swore on his fathers grave he wouldnt say anything. I finally just said "Okay, shes gotta thing for her bestfriend, but their not going to go out, she just felt bad about it & didn't want to hurt you." Well they ended up getting in a fight, & at first i kept denying it was me who told. When she finally figured it out, i admitted to it & we got into an arguement. I eventually apologized for telling him, but now shes going around & posting things on myspace about how she cant trust anyone & shes only got herself.
Is it just me or is she blowing this a little out of proportion? & did i do the right thing by telling him? (link)
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Well in a way she is blowing it out of proportion and then she isn't. Then whole myspace thing was stupid though. The guy had a right to know about what happened, but it shouldn't have been you who had to tell him. It would've been better for her. I think she is just upset because she trusted you with that and feels she has no one to trust anymore. All you can do now is apologize. Which you already did so you have to let her come around again. Explain that you are really sorry and you thought he had a right to know, but you realized that it shouldn't have been you to tell him. In a way you did the right thing but in the process it was her secret and she should've told him, not you. She might be going a little over dramatic but still, you lost her trust. So you just have to gain it back. Good luck!
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I have this best-friend from 6th grade and during the summer we only talked on myspace. Then he started ignoring me and when school started I talked to him and asked him why he ignored me and he said things change people change. I was really upset. I know I should just drop it and forget about him, But he was my best-friend. I've tried to forget about him, but when I finally start he talks to me! I get so mad at him when he talks ot me I just ignore him. I've tried to be his friend tons of times and when I don't want to be his friend because I'm finally done thinking about him ha talks to me! I don't know what to do! I don't know whether he wants to be my friend or not! HELP! (link)
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If your tired of his off and on thing then I would just stop. Be his friend but not best friend. Like don't be rude but don't go and be his best friend because he obviously isn't putting any effort into this friendship. If you want to know if your his friend or not, ask him. Ask him why he's acting like this. If he doesn't want to be your friend. You don't need him as a friend. He's not the only person out there. So just go with your other friends. Good luck!
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I'm 16 years old & I totally suck at befriending guys. All my friends are girls & i dont have one guy friend at all, its that bad. I go to a all-girls school but i do outside school things like church & going out with my girlfriends (sometimes my girlfriends bring guy friends along, but i never end up talking/being friends with the guys). Firstly, I'm too shy to strike up a conversation and secondly I'm quite an awkward person at times so I wouldn't know what to say if we did have a conversation. Also, is there anything else that's preventing me from befriending guys? Thankyou! (link)
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I had that problem before except I don't go to an all girl school. That shouldn't stop you from talking to guys though. Lets see, when your friends bring along guys try talking to them or even ask your friend to introduce you to some guys that she knows. I'm shy too but trust me don't be afraid. You aren't shy with your friends right? Act as if you knew them forever. It works for me and now I have lots of guy friends. Some of them were from my friends talking to these other guys that they knew and I ended up talking to them and became friends. Even one came to be a boyfriend because of that. Just be like, "hey I'm _____" Then just talk like you would with your friends. Maybe not mentioning guys and stuff like that but you know, a normal conversation with anybody. You'll be fine when you talk to them so don't stress out or think too much about it when you are talking to them. Good luck!
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I USED to have a girl i call best friend. Needless to say, i didn't realize that no such thing exists at the time, and worse i didn't realize how much I put into the relationship to keep it going. She lives in a book (literally she thinks this world is a fairytale) i am prone to be a stepover but i am not week i just don't know how to be in the middle... i am either so wicked or soooo nice. anyway i got in trouble needed her help (which wasn't worth the roller coaster ride she made me take). she didn't really help me out - i.e i didn't need her help i just told her in case something happens this this and that and it had NOTHING TO DO WITH HER at all!!!!! She then made it seem like i owed her the world and that i gave her so much to do and so much trouble and what not (which is so not true!!!) anyway it's my fault for allowing this to get this far... I am so mad at her and i don't want reconciliation. i dont want to be vengeful but i can't help it!!!
she is so self-absorbed but doesn't see it!!! (link)
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It sounds more like ranting here but if she is gonna act like this then you should drop her. She doesn't deserve a friend like you. Your gonna make other friends and better ones. You will lose friends and gain new ones. It happens all the time. You don't want to be stuck with her if she doesn't treat you like a real friend. Don't go and do something to hurt her but just stop hanging around her or you could sit down and have a talk with her about this. Don't keep stuff bottle inside. But don't go and blow up on her and complain and complain. Just tell her how you feel in a calm way. Good luck!
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This is kinda long,I know.
I have been very good friends with a boy(let's name him D) and a girl(let's name her M).
Now,about M:
She was my good friend since kindergarten. She's the same age as me,we got along pretty well,always had things to talk about,etc.Recently,she got a bf(let's name him E) and he's bad news.Me and my other guy friend don't like him at all.In fact,I haven't heard a single good thing about him.Not only that,but she started avoiding me and that other guy,and even came up to us and told us to stay away from them,and she gave me a death glare.I tried to tell her he'll really hurt her-he's a player,exactly like my ex,and I don't want her to go through the hell I've been through when he leaves her for no good reason,but no,she wouldn't listen.She thinks I am jealous!If I was,I would've been with him any time I wanted and she wouldn't be able to do anything about it.Could she be afraid that he'll start crushing on me?Before I even told her all of these,she was ignoring me and running away from me whenever he was around.
Now,here's the case with D:
I met him in 5th grade,we were really good friends,then in 7th grade he moved away and I haven't seen him for a year.A week ago,there was a competition in English,where we met,and after the test,we talked and had fun,then out of the blue he kissed me on the cheek and I did the same.I had a strange feeling-I used to have a little crush on him,but nothing happened.Later I had a few boyfriends etc.We were texting next day and I teased him about how soft his lips were and he said "I think you're saying that because you like me" I said "kinda" and we both laughed.That's the problem:for no good reason,he started ignoring me.He doesn't text me,he's never online,and when he is he never talks to me,I have to send him about 50 msgs before he replies to 1...I haven't argued with him so I really don't know what to do.Any advice will be appreciated. (link)
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People learn from their mistakes. Your friend might get hurt by this guy and you know that. But she doesn't see that, its like she is blinded by love or whatever. She probably thinks he is the best guy in the world. She won't realize he wasn't until he breaks her heart. Your gonna have to be there for her if that happens. You've already told her what you thought about him so she either believes you or not. So just be a good friend and be there for her when she needs it.
Now with you friend I would just keep it as friends. You won't be able to see him alot right? So just give him some space and see what happens from there. He might just be confused about how he feels about you. Good luck!
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long story short, my best friend was acting really strange and un-like her usual self, so since i know her myspace password & email i logged into her account. I read her messages, and found out she had been forwarding some of the private, personal messages i sent to her, to other people! she was also talking really badly about me to behibnd my back.
My question is, do you agree with my being mad at her? I mean, she asked me what I thought about this guy, so i messaged her the answer, and then she forwarded my message to him! thats just one example. shes telling people things ive done and said that she promised to keep quiet. so, who is wrong here? (link)
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I've had something like this happen to me with my best friend. But it was with her email. She was talking about me behind my back. I was so mad and I didn't know how I should handle it. I mean, it was wrong first of all to go through her account. I didn't mess with it though but it was still wrong. Here is one thing, do not trust her with anything of yours again. I think you know that now but don't tell her anything about your personal life. Best friends don't do that. You can't exactly confront her with this kinda thing unless you want her to know you went through her messages. Your just gonna have to dig it out of her. Somehow get her to admit to it or just forget the friendship. I mean you guys could still be friends, but best friends...your gonna need more trust for that. But I get what you mean. You have a right to be mad at her. Just don't tell her anything else. Good luck! I hope everything works out for you!
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So, I'm in such a wierd place right now, any advice would be great.
18/m
My (first) girlfriend broke up with me a few months back, and she wanted to stay friends(so did I), but she hasn't made a single effort to stay in any part of my life. Not one call, anytime we've talked, it's because I texted her. I haven't even seen her since a couple weeks before we broke up.
I miss talking to her and I miss having a girl, but I don't want her back. Even before she dumped me she was never around, she basically dumped me in her mind and let me know over the phone later.
Part of me wants to still talk, she was my only friend outside of my family, but the other part says 'screw you, I'm worth more than that, if you wanted to be friends maybe try to make an effort'
Am I being an ass because I kinda gave up on trying? I know I deserve better than that, I'm an amazing guy (not conciet,judging from most guys, I'm the nicest guy I've met :p )
Thanks! (link)
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I would ask her. So many things go on in a girls head that it gets so confusing. Ask her whats going on and if she still wants to talk to you and be friends. Because if she won't make an effort then you shouldn't be forcing it. So I would say talk to her and see what happens there. Good luck! I hope everything works out for you!
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okay well my best friend is a boy and he likes me and has sence 8th grade. but i dont see him like that but everyone says we look cute together but im just not into him like that. but he has this friends Behzad and hes cute and so much fun to hang out with. and well i think i have a samll lil crush on him. and we hung out on friday at the park in our hood. we laughed alot and had a blast but it wasnt just us it was with my friends. and one of his. how do i know if i really do like him and how do i let my bestfriend down and tell him i like his friend or should i not tell him and forget behzad? (link)
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If you haven't already you should tell your best friend you don't like him that way and like him as your best friend. If you guys are really comfortable together then you should ask him what he thinks about you liking his friend. Be aware that if you do end up going for his friend that your best friend will be hurt since he does like you and all. Good luck!
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