Hi there.. My name is Kirsten.. I'm 21, I live in a small country town in South Australia, Australia. I love life, I love giving advice to anyone who needs it. I have a boyfriend of 5 years and were very much in lurrve ;) Feel free to ask me anything guys and gals.. thats what i'm here for. If I don't know the answer to your questions i'll try my best to give you what I know.. Have fun, live life to the fullest and ask away... ;) xoxo
Gender: Female
Location: South Australia
Occupation: Medical Receptionist!
Age: 21
Member Since: June 7, 2006
Answers: 364
Last Update: December 6, 2010
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im female, 15. my friend is 16. ok well there is this guy. we were 'talking' before but i decided i wanted to stay just friends. firstly, because my best friend used to like him, and secondly i like good boys and id always be worried about him. he does like weed and stuff. anyways all he mostly talks about is weed and drugs. like i kno what all that stuff is, i dont. but i dont like it. and ive told him before that i dont kno wat they are. theres a hint i dont like it. well he sees nothing wrong with it of coarse. so what are some topics to get him off of that subject. or a way to help me get him off of it by talking to him. he honestly has probably heard it a thousand times that he shouldnt do it. so talking about him quitting wont help. also his family knows he does it. and his friends do it as well so i see it as impossible. just help me on how to change the topics or just anything. please! and im not gunna call the law on him or tell him to go to a doctor or therapist, just because it wont work. (link)
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Well I see it as... If your such a good friend to him, then you will force him to receive help with his drug probelm.
You will eventually wish that you had of helped him when he ends up in jail or worse... dead!!
This is serious and it does happen!! Ignoring it will only encourage him! Your not a friend at all if you don't help him! That's all I have to say about this!!
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19/female. i use to have alot of friends in high school, but now that i'm in college and am doing online i only hang out with one person, my best friend who i've known since 7th grade. i've never had a boyfriend before because everyone i become close with leaves me which is why i have a hard time trusting anyone. my friends will get boyfriends and then invest all their time into them that i'm like whatever ... i try to hang out with them but i just give up because its not worth it. well my best friend, shes never had a boyfriend either so we hang out all the time with no worries. well NOW shes been talking to this guy and they have been hanging out and i feel like she is going to be forgetting about me and always want to be with him. we talked about it before and we both agreed that we hate when our friends leave us for their boyfriends but now that she found someone it feels like shes doing that. shes always telling me about him, which is fine to an EXTENT. i just feel so alone, i dont know what to do anymore or who to turn to.... even if i were to say something to her i know it wouldnt change her mind. (link)
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Okay...
First of all, it's very exciting to get a boyfriend or find a guy to talk to for the first time. I wouldn't ruin that for your best friend. Perhaps you could just remind her of your previous conversations.
No one is alone, your letting yourself be alone. Why don't you take up an extra activity where you will meet new people. Your friends all seem to be doing so, what is stopping you?
Just remember, you don't need a boyfriend to be happy. I think a lot of girls forget that sometimes!
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The first part isn't part of the question; it's just really helpful to know some background info :]
So, it started off around a year ago. I met a friend through a friend over msn, we got to talking and actually became quite close. We met a few times, flirting absolute loads. We had a kind of weird relationship - I would go through phases where I liked him which only lasted a few weeks. Now, normally this would make me extremely uncomfortable knowing that he knew I liked him, but the fact that I wasn't, made me realise in the end it was just because we were close. Anyway, he introduced me to his friend. We got even closer in 3 months than me and my other friend did in a year or so. By the beginning of January we were going out, and still are. But, before we started going out, my other friend was like trying so hard to stop us from getting together, like he would tell my (now) boyfriend that I liked him (he knew I liked him from the start) then a few days later he would tell him that I don't. He was confusing the both of us and prevented us from getting together. I know why he did this. I know it sounds like he liked me, but he didn't. I have cheated on guys before and he knows about it and he thought that I was just stringing him along, and obviously he didn't want his best friend going out with someone like that. (I'm proud to say I have proved him wrong, I've been together with my boyfriend almost a year and never cheated - we are actually each others first love).
Annnnyways. A few months after me and my boyf started going out, we went for a pizza, just us three. My boyf was messing around and told me to call him this name (not seriously), it was a joke between them and a few mates so we thought it'd be funny. Now, 8 months on, he HATES me. I mean, he refers to me as 'her' when he talks about me to my boyf. I know it kills me when I think about how close we used to be. But, then again I can't stand him myself for what he did between me and my boyf - like telling me he had a girlfriend when I liked him (I only found out a few months into the relationship he actually didn't!).
I got invited by my boyf to go to a gig next march. Of course, I said yes as we haven't been to any gig together yet. He then replied that he has to ask his mate (the one I've been talking about) if it was alright. I was so mad, yet again it's no ones fault but my own; I should of asked who was going first. Anyway, he said that there's no problem (seeing as I'm his best friends girlfriend , I should hope there's no problem!). I know it's going to be soooo awkward. I don't know 2 guys that are going but my other friend is coming so at least I can talk to her if my boyfs talking to him. Now, at gigs everyones pretty close and you can't really 'rave' with someone you can't stand.
So, my actual question:
How do I make this the least awkward I can?
I'm a very shy person, but I know I can make the effort for my boyfriend - as it IS his best mate.
I just need tips/advice just anything really to make sure I survive the night xD
Thankssssss(: (link)
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Hi there,
I really think that before this gig comes around, you and your boyfriends friend need to get together and have a chat.
As you said, you have obviously proved him wrong by not cheating on him. As you shouldn't anyway!
Personally, I think that you need to tell him that for your boyfriends sake, you and him need to chill out. You don't have to be best friends but you both need to be mature and civil towards each other. Otherwise, if things get too bad between you both, your boyfriend will most probably be caught in the middle having to choose between you both.
That could end up really messy. I'm sure you don't want him to loose his best friend and you don't want to be the one who isn't chosen. So for everyone's sake you both need to get together and patch things up. With or without your boyfriend knowing you two really need to sort things out.
Good luck, hope I helped.
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Im going to have to give you guys a bit of history so that you can better understand the situation. I have this friend. A best friend. Weve been friends since 8th grade, and now were seniors about to graduate and weve gone through a lot. we were literally polar opposites on the surface but intellectually we matched perfect. The thing is, I was always the preppy, kinda girlie one, and she was the dark, gothic one. never really cared about her looks. she even called herself manly. In 8th grade that was our style. Weve both changed a great amount since then. I used to be very shy, now I am very outgoing. I am still girlie, but I play soccer and enjoy Spanish music and am very positive and always happy. She changed as well. Her style became girlie, and she did away with all her darkness. But the problem is her changing is influenced by me. which would be fine, except shes adopting not only the style of music and clothes that I like, but also my personality. I don't understand. She sees me do or wear something, and she goes and does the same thing. I cant really say anything i mean it seems very petty but it's becoming more than a superficial thing. She is copying my mannerisms and my reactions, all my tastes and dislikes. She is becoming me. We go to different schools, but when I see people from her school they describe her doing and saying things that sound exactly like me. She doesn't act that way towards me though. And it's really frustrating because I cant say anything, shes going to deny it and say that that's what she would have done regardless. which i know is not true. Literally shes doing EVERYTHING that I am. it's insane. And now she is saying she wants some space between us so she can get her priorities in line, telling me she doesnt really want to talk to anyone for a while, but i see her doing stuff and hanging with other people, dressing and acting like me. I'm going crazy over this what should I do? how can I accept this? (link)
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Hi there..
Seems to me that she's always envied you. She's always loved how you act and dress and speak ect..
She's probably always wanted to be more like you because 1) she's jealous 2) she's always felt like your better then her 3) wished she could be more like you but is embarrassed of changing her ways in front of you.
Because she's at a different school now, she's got the chance to be you without you being around, therefore she has the 'limelight' with out you steeling it away.
With these other people she doesn't have to feel like she wants to be like you, she probably feels that these people want to be like her and she enjoys it.
Just talk to her and let her know that its ok to dress and act more confident, however, copying everything you do is a bit out of control. Communication is the best way to resolve anything. Even if you write her a letter so she understands how you feel.
Hope I helped.
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This might seem silly but just bare with me. I was good friends with this girl for like 10 months. We've known each other for a really long time but we had just lately become like best friends. Well a few days ago we got in a huge fight for the first time and we're seriously over. This isn't just a fight, we're through. So my question is...do I take down all the pictures of her that I have on my "summer 09" album on myspace? I don't like her anymore, but I can't change my past, you know? I don't know what to do. I have pictures of other people too but mostly of me and her, since we were like best friends. If I leave them she'll probably be annoyed or something. And I really just never wanna see her face again..so should I take them down or not? (link)
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As you said, you can't change your past... I would suggest leaving them there. Perhaps take down the one's of just you are her but leave the group one's up.
The times you had together have a part in who you are today. Even if you do take them all down. Don't get rid of them. You never know what will happen in the future.
You never thought you would have a fight this big to not be friends anymore so therefore you never know if you two will ever become friends again.
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alright. first of all ive been datin my boyfriend for almost 4 months, and im very happy. hes a really good guy, we hang out with my parents, hes hung out with my grandparents, hell pick me up if i have no where to go, plus hes a real gentleman and we get along great.
the problem is, my friends dont see it. they think that there is something fishy about it which i dont really understand because they dont hang out with him nearly as much as i do. i have a group of 4 best girl friends, but lately they dont seem like that at all.
my main best friend, 'Z', has a big party house. and her mom lets us do whatever basically, even hard drugs. ive done em a few times at her house and for the rest jus smoked and drank.
but the thing is, before z's house turned into a big party house, i chilled with her and our other friend and had fun with out that.
ive been growin up a lot this summer and i realized that i dont wanna spend my summer doin the same thing at that house everyday.
plus, her mom is very manipulative and possesive, and since me and z have been best friends for 3 years, shes like that over me.
so friday night, i got really drunk and went to a hookha lounge with my boyfriend to meet them there. then, we went to a party after that. they all left, and when my boyfriend drove me to catch up with him, 'P' (one of my best friends but i gotta watch out for her) yells 'yeah tricia, why dont you jus go give your boyfriend road head, we're goin to ihop'
sooo i was like 'fuck it lets just go back to the party'...and when i did, i made a horrible drunk decision to do morphine. i was feelin fine until my boyfriend found out and he went crazy! then it turned into a bad trip and i ended up sleepin on his floor freakin out that night. the only problem is i was supposed to sleep at Z's house...
so the next night i go over to Z's house to chill for a lil bit with my boyfriend (who they already dont like) and i told Z what i did the night before and thats why i didnt go pack, plus what P said. she acted cool about it so i thought everythin was fine. they wanted me to stay over and i was going to but then I DECIDED to go home so i did.
welllllllanyways.
z's mom calls my step-dad this mornin, and says that they have to get me away from my boyfriend. because im 'different' (i guess cuz im not goin over there 24/7) and that i did morphine BECAUSE of him (which isnt true & Z told all my friends) and that i was supposed to spend the night at her house saturday (not true)... and she said that im doing coke ! wtf
the first time and last time i did coke was WITH her.
i dont know. all my friends are turnin against me and theyve been my friends for so long.
i dont know what to do :/ help. (link)
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It's not your friends you need advice on.. It's the drugs you do!! Dude, you'll end up killing yourself!!!! Yeah Drugs = Death, Death = NO MORE, THE END, THAT'S IT!!!
Personally, I think you should ditch the drugs, you need to either ditch your friends because they are obviously the one's who influence you with the drugs OR help them too!!
First of all, you need to talk to 'Z' and explain that you like this guy and it's not something that she can control. This is YOUR boyfriend and it should have nothing to do with her.
Second, if they cannot get along and you want them all in your life.. then make time for all of them. Don't take your boyfriend to your friends house and vise versa. Mistake No 1.
Third, tell your friends that you are going to quit with the drugs and do something right for yourself. Your going to be the one who's laughing at the end of the day when they end up like junkies and your doing good for yourself.
There is NO EXCUSE!!!!
Goodluck
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hi, Y2J here, my parnets pulled me out of school
becuase they tihkn its unsafe for me, anyway, im outta school i dont have many friends i do have a myspace but i dont know how to really find people that are nice, i want new friends, kind friends.:(
i hope someone can help me, if im nice...will tht be an advantage of finding a new friend?
im 15 and a guy btw (link)
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I'm sorry but your parents need to realise that you need to live a life of your own and school is a major part of growing up. It's where you learn most of what you will know when you grow up.
I'm not just talking about learning school subjects and that.. I'm talking about life in general. It's where you will more then likely find your best friend, end up on the school soccer team (to be a part of a team) meet a nice girl, go to formal/prom, be invited to a birthday party, sleep over a mates house... All sorts of things.
I think it's wrong for your parents to take you out of school. It's not fair on you and your life.
If in any case they will not put you back in school, why not try to join an after school activites program or something. Surely going by yourself with trusted people is safe enough for them.
Talk to you parents... you'll end up resenting them other wise. You need to have time to yourself and meet new people. Keeping you away from the real world is only going to make you worse off in the long run.
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alright so heres my problem. I am a 15 year old girl who has never had a boyfriend. never had a kiss or even a guy tell me he likes me. becaues of this i now have little confidence. also this year when i entered high school all of my friends got gorgous. most of them have blonde hair and blue eyes, one of them is the prettiset girl in my grade. and when im with them i feel so down because i am not pretty at all. seriously i have brown hair and eyes and just a weird face. plz help. plz. if i dont figure this out soon im gonna go through high school resenting my friends and always wishing for something i didnt have(good looks) (link)
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Hey there...
This is the problem with a few girls these days. They don't actually realise they are beautfil too. It's definitely NOT always about looks to see who's beautiful and who's not.
Everyone is unique in their own way. So do not for a second think your not. Who cares if your not a blondy with blue eyes. Those girls are fake. Brown hair is awesome!!! So many guys out there dig a girl with brown hair.
If your wanting to make yourself look 'pretty' conentrate on your highlights. Wear a bit of make-up, not much. A bit is hot. Don't copy your friends because that will make you just another girl, If you look different to your friends you will be noticed.
Who cares if you don't have a boyfriend, they only cause heart ache.. well most of the time!!!
Give yourself time to find out who you really are, your only young! You don't need a guy to rely on, you are your own person. An individual!
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16/f I want to have a big birthday party this year to make up for my complete lack of a party last year. The problem is that I don't have anyone to help be plan a party, and aside from that, I have a limited number of friends who don't know one another very well and belong to different cliques. Is there a good way to bring all my friends together for a party with minimal awkwardness. Also, any sort of party suggestions are welcome.
PS- my birthday's in two weeks but I'd probably having the party the week after that. (link)
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Hi there...
I'm planning my birthday party at the moment too, except i'm turning 21 :)
Anyway, Birthday ideas...
Do you want a theme?? If so you could have a Celebrity Theme, Everyone dresses up as their favourite celebrity.
Have a colour theme, Black and your favourite colour OR Everyone to wear black and you wear a bright colour.
or like an Eygption theme, underwater, princess, clowns, animals...
Or you could, when you hand out the invitations, everyone must wear to your party what they are wearing when you hand the invitations out. For EG, If you hand the invitation out to someone in their work uniform they have to wear that to your party.
Give a prize or something for funniest or best dressed. If they don't dress up then you could organise for something to happen to them like have to walk around with something on their head or carry something around all night.
Hope I've given you some idea's. As for everyone who doesn't get along, it's your birthday and if they want you to be happy they'll settle their differences for one night.
Good Luck, Hope I helped :)
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Well i went to my friends birthday party, it was her big FIFTEEN...Her ex started being really friendly with me and her at the same time except he kept on touching me around her and sometimes not around her...he once dated her and she kept getting close to him..he wanted to keep touching me..she thinks he likes me and she says she won't care if i date him..is that true?\
She still acts like she likes him..also, idk if he is trying to make her jealous or something because he did a lot right in front of her...PLEASE HELP!?? (link)
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Ok.. first of all, I think you may be playing with fire because it kinda sounds like you like the attention from this guy.
Your friend is your friend!!!! No matter how many times she'll say I don't care if you date my ex boyfriend.. She still cares!! She could just be saying she doesn't care so you can be happy.
I know you would absolutely hate it if your friend started dating your ex boyfriend... I know for sure that I would!
Put it this way... your friend and this guy had feelings for each other once before. They kissed, they cuddled, who knows they may have taken things a bit further then that. They cared for each other and they could have even loved each other..!!
If you were to date him and share this with him, your friend wont want to know the juicy details of your weekend with him. It would make the situation to awkward and uncomfortable.
I think if you do have feelings for this guy, you need to either get over them real fast or have a serious BIG long talk with your friend.
Hope I helped. Good Luck :)
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Well lets see there this boy that i liked last year and well i still like him. But lets go to the past for a minute well i liked this boy and one of my friends she has a class with him and she ask me if she can talk to him for me. And i said yea. So she be talking to him for me and trying to get me hooked up with him and stuff. So then this is were it comes to the present well i just found out from another of one of my friends that the boy i like wanna her to hook them up together and i ask who was it and she wouldnt tell me. So then thats when i found out that the person who wanna hook up with him was the friend that tried to hook me up with him last year. And so both of my friends were going behind my back with this. And they thought i didnt know about it but i actually do know all about it and they are trying to keeo it a secret. And in my case i think it is wrong because they both knew i like him and be trying to get with him for as long as i can remeber.And to make it less compucated (these are not real names) but the friend that tried hooking me up with him is kate and now she likes him and asking another one of my friends to hook them up together which name is melissa. And melissa also knows i like him. So tell me what you think. IS this wrong for them to do this to me or is it just me. (link)
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Hey there,
It is most definitely wrong of them to do this behind your back. It just goes to show how inconsiderate they are of your feelings.
Instead of getting your friends to talk to this boy, perhaps you should show just a little bit more confidence and talk to him yourself.
I know the thought of that might make your bones shiver... BUT, guys like confidence in girls. Show that you are interested in this boy and show your friends that you don't need them to get a boy to talk to you.
If this boy decides to like you instead of your friend then you totally win.. if on the other hand he decides to like your friend then at least you'll have the experience of talking to a guy you like and the expectations for next time.
Good luck... hope I helped :)
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I don’t know why this is bothering me, I always think out of the box. I mean I just don’t think of the now and always the future and what if‘s. When I told my friend that I liked her she doesn’t feel the same. Today I remember that I and she were talking about her story she had to write for English class. She was talking about the main character is semi based on her. She said “she needs a guy friend” I ask her “will It be infatuation with the both of them? and i kno that you hate romance stories” she said “short of but it be like her liking him but afraid to be serious with the relationship because what if it doesn’t work out and it will effect there friendship”. I didn’t say anything but change the subject. Now I began to think that she was talking about us. I am being stupid to think that because she does like anyone and me. But I know I like her…
She isn’t talking about our situation, when I told her how I felt. Right?
i am bi/female (link)
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Perhaps she spoke to you about her story and tried to tell you that she's not interested.
She's probably finding it hard to tell you that she doesn't like you the way that you like her and she doesn't want to face hurting you by telling you that straight out.
Honey, you can't ignore your feelings towards her, your probably going to feel something for a long time but it's something that your going to have to cope with.
She obviously loves your company and your loyalty and friendship and doesn't want to ruin that by having a relationship with you.
I personally think that you need to talk to her, you need to sit her down and ask her how she really feels about you.
If she says that she doesn't like you in that way, then you need to respect and accept that in the best possible way that you can.
She also needs to understand that if she isn't interested in you, then she needs to be very patient, give you time, space and support so you are able to accept what she has told you.
Don't let your feelings come between your friendship though if things don't go your way. I'm sure you'd rather have her in your life then not at all.
I'm sorry hun, good luck :)
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I really hate being jelous of people...but when one of my friends gets everything: everyone likes her, she gets stright A's, got into the TOP chior, has gone to EVERY top band thing, pretty, outgoing, everything i am not....I don't want to be jelous of her.....
Any ideas on how to make myself feel better around her?(everytime i am around her i feel so inferior and like she could be friends w/ better people) (link)
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Hey there,
Why don't you try to become equal with her. Every person has their own qualities and your obviously taking more notice of hers instead of your own.
Try to concentrate on yourself and the highlights that you've got and flaunt them.
Don't compete with her, that could possibly end in a mess but just try to equal things out.
Good luck, Hope I helped.
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so. my friend and i are kinda in a big fight. and.. he's winning. i mean. he has a good reason. he called me a poser [[well, that's not the good reason]] for cutting and he said i cut to get attention or what'ev.. so like. he's really mad at me for cutting. and he posted this on my myspace.
"You're such a fucking idiot
I wish you'd fucking stop
You think you really are
But you're really really not.
You've got no-one fooled
So stop tryin to put on you're little act
Put your notebook on the shelf.
You're really fooling no-one, but yourself, in fact.
Cut the fuckin drama
I will no longer tolerate this stupidity
Seconds after reading this you'll be cryin to your mamma
I refuse to tolerate your imbecillity.
You're such a fucking idiot
You make me wanna shout
You're such a fucking idiot
Find a gun, and blow your fucking brains out.
Get out of my life
Leave me alone
Bitch, you're whack
Take that shit home."
and this....
"If you really wanna kill yourself that bad
Go a-fucking-head,
Put your finger on the trigger
Of a gun full of lead
The people close to you
Feel the same fucking way I do
Go ahead, do it, you'll fill out lives with bliss
I highly doubt you will be missed"
and it hurts
alot... (link)
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Hey there,
Well first of all, perhaps your friend is scared and doesn't know how to help you with this sort of issue.
Perhaps he's had someone close to him do this before and he lost them and is afraid that it's going to happen again.
Other wise he is just very mad at you for doing this to yourself instead of asking him or someone else for help.
He obviously thought that you knew he was there for you and then you've done this instead of talking to him about your problems, he's probably hurt.
That doesn't give him the write to post those poems on his site or talk to you like that but as I said... he's angry.
Perhaps you should talk to him and apologise for not coming to him but you developed this issue and it was too hard for you to control in your mind so you eventually took it out on your body to make yourself feel like you were in control of it.
He doesn't know what you are going through but you shouldn't expect him to know. He's obviously in shock.
I say do the right thing and talk to him about it, he might have cooled down by now.
Hope I helped. :)
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There's a girl, I'll call her Sara, is really slutty and all she can talk about is how much she likes emo bands and how she flashes her breasts to guys. This is mostly the reason I don't like her, and the other part is that she's kind of punk and I have a clean, preppy style. Well, anyway, she is really nice to me, and I always help her around and stuff because of that. It's really hard, because she's always so nice to me, but I really don't like the way she behaves or talks. I know she tries to fit in, but I feel guilty about not really liking her and venting about how annoying she is to my friends when she acts so nice. Any advice? (link)
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Well instead of pushing her away.. why don't you try and befriend her and show her that the emo style and flashing guys isn't always the best way to try and fit in.
If she hangs out with you guys more often maybe she'll want to change!
Maybe she's nice to you because she really wants to be like you!
Why don't you talk to your friends and see what they think, give her the benefit of the doubt!
Tell her that if she wants to like hang out with you and stuff that she has to be more respectful and there are other ways of having fun with guys then just flashing herself to them!
Do it politely though, you don't want to hurt her feelings!
On the other hand if you don't like her and don't think that you can tollerate her, then you need to tell her!
If you don't want to befriend her, keep your distance but still say hello and be nice, just give her the impression that you are not best friends!
Hope I helped.. good luck!
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I have this friend that i love to death but i keep alot of stuff from her. I keep stuff & lie to her sometimes because i feel that she judges me based on what i decide to do in my life.
i lost my virginity to a guy that she hated. At first i didnt tell her that i had sex with him but then i broke down at work and started crying because i was really stressed out because i thought i was pregnant. When i told her that she looked at me and told me i shouldn't have had sex with him and that i am stupid for doing it.
Another night i was hanging out with another guy friend and i was drinking with him and i ended up messing around with him ( we did not have sex ). but we ended up getting in a fight and never talked anymore. And she told me i shouldnt be drinking with guys because they can take advantage of me and so fourth.
a couple of days ago i asked her if she knew guy named ______ and shes like yes and you don't need to get envovled with him hes worse then _____ ( the guy i had sex with) and he got in alot of trouble with the police in high school. After she yelled all of that trash to my face she then asks me how i know him and why i asked her if she knew him. I gave her a spirk and she told me to stay away from him. But then i went and asked my other friend if she knew him and she said that he is one of the nicest guys she has ever met in her life.
Im really sick of her judging me about how i talk about guys or what guy i get invovled with or what i do with them on my time. Yea maybe she is making sure i don't hurt myself but when she ask me why i asked about him after she yelled at me im not goin to tell her i think hes an awesome person and i reallly want to get to know him..
i know i dont really have a question and im kinda rambling but what can i do to get her to stay off my case and quit judging me im tired of it im my own person and i do what i want..... (link)
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Maybe she is jealous! Either that or she is just looking out for you!
You need to tell her that although she doesn't agree with the things you do she doesn't need to be mad at you for it or make you feel bad for it.
It is your life and you are able to make your own choices. At the same time thought it wouldn't hurt to listen to what she has to say then make your choices.. at least you can say to your friend that you listened to her but you just needed to do what you felt was right.
She's not your mum! She really has no right to tell you what do to and when to do it!
Perhaps talk to her and let her see your point of view.. if she doesn't want to do the things you do then thats fine but don't stop you from doing it too.
Tell her that you hate it because you feel like she is judging you for 'growing up' and experiencing things in your own way.
But yes becareful with the whole mixing alcohol with guys because they can take advantage of you, at the same time you are big enough to take care of yourself to a certain extent!
If something was to go wrong one night then all you would thiking is I should have listened to my friend.. :)
Tell her she can look out for you and give her opinion but you do not appreciate being spoken to like your her daughter and not her friend. Tell her that you tell her these things because you feel that you confide in her but when she 'tells you off' you just don't want to be around her.
Hope I helped.. goodluck!
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My friend's boyfriend is terrible. He smokes, drinks, does drugs. Basically, all the things she'd never do. And now we barely talk anymore and I don't know what to do. They've been together for a while now, but we've been friends 5 times longer. I try talking to her, but she pushes me away. How can I tell her that she can do so much better? What should I say? (link)
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If her boyfriend is into all of these things maybe there is a reason she is pushing you away. She probably feels like she can't leave the relationship because she knows he is a horrible person. She might feel like she is stuck there forever and is screaming for help but no one is helping!
I think you need to get her on her own and talk to her.. tell her that you miss the friendship you used to have and can see that her boyfriend is changing her for the worse.
She might not come around straight away but give her time.. always let her know you are there for her.. she'll come around eventually but in the mean time keep out for signs of perhaps abuse from the boyfriend.. if she doesn't normally do the things that her boyfriend is there could be a bit or pressure for her to do these things too.
She'll only ruin her life if she starts doing drugs and things..!
What about her parents or someone else that she is close with.. could you perhaps talk to them, let them know how you feel and what they boyfriend gets up too, if she is talking to someone older then her she might wake up!
I wish you luck, I hope she comes around for her own sake :)
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well i have this friend katie who i've known all my life. we used to be really good friends, but a couple years ago things changed. she became all obsessed with being popular, and only hung out with me when there was no one "better" available. eventually i gave up on our friendship. well, now things have changed again. we're in cheerleading together, and i guess now i'm cool enough for her. she's always calling me and wanting to hang out. now, i'm not a mean person and i'm really not resentful about how she acted before. i actually wouldn't mind hanging out with her sometimes, just to be nice. but the problem is, she has gotten a really bad reputation. she offers to give guys blow jobs at school, sends half naked pictures of herself to guys, and a lot of people think she's a total skank. so i'm kind of worried about hanging out with her cuz i don't want to get that kind of reputation. i usually just make excuses why i can't do stuff with her. but i'm afraid if i keep doing this, it will seem like i think i'm better than her or something. or that i'm mad about the way she treated me before (which i'm not). it's really important to me to be a nice person and i usually try to hang out with everyone, no matter what "group" they're in or what other people think of them. but i'm just not sure how to handle this one. if i start hanging out with her, will i get a bad reputation? (link)
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Unfortuanetly there could be a possibility about you getting that sort of reputation, but she was and is your friend.
You could make her change again.. to be more respectiful. I'm sure she was pressured into those sorts of things with the whole 'trying to be cool' phase.
She could just simply want to be your friend again.. you never know.
Perhaps you should talk to her. Tell her that you don't agree with the things she has been getting up to but you will always be her friend. Tell her that you don't want to be pressured into doing those sorts of things and you want to have your friendship the way it used to be.
She might be asking for help with letting you back into her life.. just take it easy with her and watch that she doesn't change you either.. she could be feeling like an outcast, embarrassed or ashamed of the things she's done and knows that if she becomes friends with you again that everyone might forget about it and treat her properly again.
Good luck
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okay. i really i dont what i'm doing. i completely fell for my best friend in the entire world. he is completely awesome and goofy and everything i've ever wanted in a guy. we are completely inseperable and i can tell him/talk to him about anything, except this. i cant seem to talk to him about this, not because of him, just i've never been someone to tell people i like that i like them. but he says that he would never date me because my friendship means too much to him and he could never bear to loose me. but everytime he describes what he likes in a girl, its generally kinda things about me. like curly hair and not anorexicly skinny. and i'm both of those things. and on top of all that i feel like i'm loosing him because i just sarted talked to my cuzin who i had had some problems with again. and he and her have become pretty close. i know its like him to be friends with like everyone but i couldnt bear to loose him. especially not to her because i've always been jealous of her and shes stolen two of my friends b4. but he says he'd never do that to me but i ge really paraniod. help me (link)
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Ok I think it's time that you talk to both of them.
First of all with your cousin. You need to tell her that you have deep feelings for this guy and you would trust that she would never take him away from you.
She needs to learn to stay away from the guys you like and your friends and to find her own. She is not only your friend but she is related to you. She cannot do that to you.
Then your boy.. You need to sit him down and talk to him too. You need to say that you have developed feelings for him, let him know how you are feeling. Leave it open for him to take the chance with you or to just remain friends.
Let him know that you will support his decision in what and how he feels for you. You can't force someone to like you so don't push the subject with him.
Just say that you needed to tell him because it's been tearing you apart and he deserves to know how you feel about him..
Respect his choice no matter what it is and stand by him. If he grows distant from you if he decides not to be with you it's more then likely going to tear you apart but it's something that you might have to deal with. If this is the case.. you need to talk to him again.
Also.. talk to him about your cousin perhaps. If you two are close then he probably knows that she has taken away your friends before, tell him that you can't bear to see him with her so you would appreciate it if he could put your cousin in her place with feelings and such.
I hope you get what you want out of this.. Good luck :)
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14/f
Well one of my friends is a good friend but shes kind of new. Anyways theres a guy in our class that shes friends with but they both like each other. Well this guy asked her if she wanted to drink with him. She told me about this and I dont know what to say! I don't want to be like NO YOU'LL RUIN YOUR LIFE AND ILL HATE YOU. well idk i just dont want her to not like me anymore!! pleeease help %%thanks! (link)
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Well just tell her how you feel. Tell that you'll support her desicion although you don't agree on it 100%
Tell her that your there for her if things turn bad and to just be careful, tell her to eat something before she drinks or she'll be really sick.
Make sure she will be safe with this guy because there could be a possibility that he wants one thing and one thing only.
Good luck and tell her to be careful.
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