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why do people always leave me..
19/female. i use to have alot of friends in high school, but now that i'm in college and am doing online i only hang out with one person, my best friend who i've known since 7th grade. i've never had a boyfriend before because everyone i become close with leaves me which is why i have a hard time trusting anyone. my friends will get boyfriends and then invest all their time into them that i'm like whatever ... i try to hang out with them but i just give up because its not worth it. well my best friend, shes never had a boyfriend either so we hang out all the time with no worries. well NOW shes been talking to this guy and they have been hanging out and i feel like she is going to be forgetting about me and always want to be with him. we talked about it before and we both agreed that we hate when our friends leave us for their boyfriends but now that she found someone it feels like shes doing that. shes always telling me about him, which is fine to an EXTENT. i just feel so alone, i dont know what to do anymore or who to turn to.... even if i were to say something to her i know it wouldnt change her mind.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Let's see you're 19-years-old now which would mean you've had a lasting friendship with this person for close to seven or eight years. If she hasn't left you then she's not about to do it now.
No matter who she dates or doesn't she will stick by you if you're a good friend. Obviously, that's true or she would have ditched you many years ago. You may see her a little less but she'll be there.
Things are in the honeymoon stage of the relationship and it's fresh, completely new to her and she's soaking that up. Give it a month and she'll hate his guts--that's how it works and all it is. The only way to screw up here is to act jealous or "why do you spend all your time with him and not me."
Telling her you would like to see them both more often will get her to include you. I'll be blunt people who left you in the past haven't a damn thing to do with what people in the present will do and is an irrational fear based in something that ties to all this which traumatized you.
You have to figure out why you don't trust others, feel like people will desert you, loneliness, neediness etc. What you need to do is see a professional (not a therapist) and figure all that out so you can chuck it forever.
People have pushed you away and or left because they get a vibe from you about these problems and lack of social skills. You have to see a professional to help you reprogram yourself and move forward.
There's no reason in the world whether doing online courses or not for you not to be doing all the things your peers and friend is and to have boys like you too. Find out what theater, sports, and other groups there are in town and go and meet more people. Expand your friend base that way.
This girl's NEVER left she's still your friend and will remain so. Just watch in a few weeks it will all be back to normal she's just preoccupied by how new and exciting having a first boyfriend or potential one is. Typical of all girls. Their friends historically all feel like you are now for a few weeks.
Tell her you miss hanging out with her and to bring her boyfriend by some time. She'll get it. Admit it, there's also this little or perhaps not so little part of you that wishes you were her. It'll happen but for now don't let jealousy of the role he has with her or her with him wreck or cause an issue with her where there isn't one.
The problem's in your head with what you believe others will always do and not with reality. She hasn't left you, isn't leaving you and has shown no signs in the last 7 years of ever doing that. You have to find out where your trust issues stem from and why they're f--king up everything for you now in order to live happier.
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Okay...
First of all, it's very exciting to get a boyfriend or find a guy to talk to for the first time. I wouldn't ruin that for your best friend. Perhaps you could just remind her of your previous conversations.
No one is alone, your letting yourself be alone. Why don't you take up an extra activity where you will meet new people. Your friends all seem to be doing so, what is stopping you?
Just remember, you don't need a boyfriend to be happy. I think a lot of girls forget that sometimes!
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