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what should i do?
well i have this friend katie who i've known all my life. we used to be really good friends, but a couple years ago things changed. she became all obsessed with being popular, and only hung out with me when there was no one "better" available. eventually i gave up on our friendship. well, now things have changed again. we're in cheerleading together, and i guess now i'm cool enough for her. she's always calling me and wanting to hang out. now, i'm not a mean person and i'm really not resentful about how she acted before. i actually wouldn't mind hanging out with her sometimes, just to be nice. but the problem is, she has gotten a really bad reputation. she offers to give guys blow jobs at school, sends half naked pictures of herself to guys, and a lot of people think she's a total skank. so i'm kind of worried about hanging out with her cuz i don't want to get that kind of reputation. i usually just make excuses why i can't do stuff with her. but i'm afraid if i keep doing this, it will seem like i think i'm better than her or something. or that i'm mad about the way she treated me before (which i'm not). it's really important to me to be a nice person and i usually try to hang out with everyone, no matter what "group" they're in or what other people think of them. but i'm just not sure how to handle this one. if i start hanging out with her, will i get a bad reputation?
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I understand that you're in high school, but you don't have to play into the drama that goes along with high school. "Reputations" and "groups" are something you're going to look back on and feel silly about ever participating in or being concerned with. You seem like a mature person to me, and it'd be my advice to stop associating yourself with some of the people and situations that are surrounding you.
The reality of the situation is that you're dealing with someone whose character conflicts with yours. That doesn't mean that it's because she's a bad person or that it's because she's in a more popular circle than you are. All that means is that people change and you're not always going to get along with everyone. That's not exclusive to high school. That's something you're going to deal with for your entire life.
You questioning or disagreeing with her character doesn't make you any less of a nice person. In fact, I'm questioning it too. This girl has turned her back on your friendship, has become driven by superficial things such as popularity, and is disrespecting herself by being sexually promiscuous. Just because you're a cheerleader now doesn't mean you have to be friends with her. I know you say you don't resent her, but you should.
This girl won't offer you the kind of qualities that you deserve in a friend. She's a leech and is only interested in you because you're fresh blood. Your position on the squad has given you the potential to be (more) popular and she wants to use you for that. My advice is to cut her loose. If you still want to hang out with her, there is a chance that people are going to think that you're just like her. There's nothing you can do about that.
You can either play it smart and give up on her or take the risk and put your own reputation on the line for her - someone who turned her back on you for the approval of strangers.
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There is a chance of you getting that same reputaion. There are some people who will assume that you do thinkgs like that because you hangout and talk to her, unfortanatley. Talk to her about it. Tell her how you think its not right to do that. Try to put it in a way that wont make her mad and a way that she will understand and take your advice. She will thank you. Theres always a chance that people will say no she isnt like that other girl she hangsout with. There are people who know that you wouldnt change from hangingout with her.
I hope i helped.
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Unfortuanetly there could be a possibility about you getting that sort of reputation, but she was and is your friend.
You could make her change again.. to be more respectiful. I'm sure she was pressured into those sorts of things with the whole 'trying to be cool' phase.
She could just simply want to be your friend again.. you never know.
Perhaps you should talk to her. Tell her that you don't agree with the things she has been getting up to but you will always be her friend. Tell her that you don't want to be pressured into doing those sorts of things and you want to have your friendship the way it used to be.
She might be asking for help with letting you back into her life.. just take it easy with her and watch that she doesn't change you either.. she could be feeling like an outcast, embarrassed or ashamed of the things she's done and knows that if she becomes friends with you again that everyone might forget about it and treat her properly again.
Good luck
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If you do hang with her people might start assuming your a skank also, thats just the way people are, but if you want to be friends with her you shouldn't worry about your rep...plus if people already know you they won't assume your like her. If your really stressing about this then i would suggest hanging with her in a place on the down low so people dont have to know about it.
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