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copycat???
Im going to have to give you guys a bit of history so that you can better understand the situation. I have this friend. A best friend. Weve been friends since 8th grade, and now were seniors about to graduate and weve gone through a lot. we were literally polar opposites on the surface but intellectually we matched perfect. The thing is, I was always the preppy, kinda girlie one, and she was the dark, gothic one. never really cared about her looks. she even called herself manly. In 8th grade that was our style. Weve both changed a great amount since then. I used to be very shy, now I am very outgoing. I am still girlie, but I play soccer and enjoy Spanish music and am very positive and always happy. She changed as well. Her style became girlie, and she did away with all her darkness. But the problem is her changing is influenced by me. which would be fine, except shes adopting not only the style of music and clothes that I like, but also my personality. I don't understand. She sees me do or wear something, and she goes and does the same thing. I cant really say anything i mean it seems very petty but it's becoming more than a superficial thing. She is copying my mannerisms and my reactions, all my tastes and dislikes. She is becoming me. We go to different schools, but when I see people from her school they describe her doing and saying things that sound exactly like me. She doesn't act that way towards me though. And it's really frustrating because I cant say anything, shes going to deny it and say that that's what she would have done regardless. which i know is not true. Literally shes doing EVERYTHING that I am. it's insane. And now she is saying she wants some space between us so she can get her priorities in line, telling me she doesnt really want to talk to anyone for a while, but i see her doing stuff and hanging with other people, dressing and acting like me. I'm going crazy over this what should I do? how can I accept this?
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Hi there..
Seems to me that she's always envied you. She's always loved how you act and dress and speak ect..
She's probably always wanted to be more like you because 1) she's jealous 2) she's always felt like your better then her 3) wished she could be more like you but is embarrassed of changing her ways in front of you.
Because she's at a different school now, she's got the chance to be you without you being around, therefore she has the 'limelight' with out you steeling it away.
With these other people she doesn't have to feel like she wants to be like you, she probably feels that these people want to be like her and she enjoys it.
Just talk to her and let her know that its ok to dress and act more confident, however, copying everything you do is a bit out of control. Communication is the best way to resolve anything. Even if you write her a letter so she understands how you feel.
Hope I helped.
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maybe she sees that how you're acting, you seem to get a positive reaction from other people out of it, and it makes you happy. maybe she wants that, too. and probably the reason she doesnt do it around you is because she knows shes sort of copying you so she lies low when around the source of her changing. but you also have to realize, between junior high and being a senior in highschool is a long period of time. someone can change a lot during then. i was like her in 8th grade, and over the years i've become a lot darker and more tomboyish. i used to be a very girlie goth. so as you can see, people change a lot.
dont see it as annoying, but more of a compliment. meaning she looks up to you and you're probably one of her favourite people on this planet. bask in it! not everyone is a rolemodel amoung their friends. :)
take care
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