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Bff's bf?
My friend's boyfriend is terrible. He smokes, drinks, does drugs. Basically, all the things she'd never do. And now we barely talk anymore and I don't know what to do. They've been together for a while now, but we've been friends 5 times longer. I try talking to her, but she pushes me away. How can I tell her that she can do so much better? What should I say?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If it's Brooke, it doesn't matter anymore. She'll be out of the picture soon enough.
If your friend won't listen to you, she's dumb.
--Jack
(17/m)
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She probably has tried some of those drugs and dose not want you to know about it becuase you will look down on her. She loves the guy and wants to keep him so shes trying to make herself have mor in commen.
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Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about this right now. Your friend has made up her mind and has prioritized the people in her life, and as much as it hurts to know, she's placed her boyfriend ahead of you. I think it's sad when people get boyfriends or girlfriends and completely ignore the other people in their lives. It's a selfish and hurtful thing to do, and I sympathize with you completely.
If you really want to play a more important role in your friend's life, try to support her and keep your opinion of her boyfriend to yourself. If her boyfriend is as bad as you say he is, there's very little doubt in my mind that the relationship won't last. When it does end, she'll remember that you were the one who supported her unconditionally through it all. So just hang in there.
If I were you, I would ask myself this: do I really want to remain friends with someone who pushes me away and chooses a boyfriend with many flaws over me when I've been there for her for so many years? My answer would be no, but your answer might be different from mine. Either way, hopefully you give this question some consideration and give it a lot of thought. You place a lot of value into your friendship, but you deserve to be valued too. Good luck. :)
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If her boyfriend is into all of these things maybe there is a reason she is pushing you away. She probably feels like she can't leave the relationship because she knows he is a horrible person. She might feel like she is stuck there forever and is screaming for help but no one is helping!
I think you need to get her on her own and talk to her.. tell her that you miss the friendship you used to have and can see that her boyfriend is changing her for the worse.
She might not come around straight away but give her time.. always let her know you are there for her.. she'll come around eventually but in the mean time keep out for signs of perhaps abuse from the boyfriend.. if she doesn't normally do the things that her boyfriend is there could be a bit or pressure for her to do these things too.
She'll only ruin her life if she starts doing drugs and things..!
What about her parents or someone else that she is close with.. could you perhaps talk to them, let them know how you feel and what they boyfriend gets up too, if she is talking to someone older then her she might wake up!
I wish you luck, I hope she comes around for her own sake :)
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Tell it to her straight. She'll appreciate it in the end. Tell her that her bf needs to clean up his act, because all his drinking, smoking, and drug use just aint cute. Then tell her she is better than what he does, and that she can make him change and that if he dont want to change than she deserves better. But you also have to understand that maybe she likes him just the way he is. Tell her that you feel like your friendship is kind of being pushed to the side, because of her relationship with her boyfriend. Tell what you think and what you feel.
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My friend did the same thing, and also whenever i tried to tell her or did tell her she wouldn't listen. But in the end she broke up with him becuase she finally realized it for herself. So i would keep telling her that she could do better, (if shes your friend she shouldn't snap at you) and hopefully soon she will realize it, theres not much else you can do becuase you have to let her make her own decisions...and mistakes.
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