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Q: 20/f
I would like to state that I am a 20 year old adult. I cut and have since I was 13. I'm not depressed but am going through a very stressful time. I know this issue may be more common in younger teenagers but I'm an adult and am not in the same mentality as a younger individual so, please take that into consideration to those of you who are kind enough to help me. when I was younger I tried to seek help but with my experience asking for help did more harm than good so i haven't told anyone since I was 13. This issue has carried on with me and hasn't gone away and I don't know how to stop. I've tried many times to stop but all I have managed to do is get better control over it at times. I've thought about going to counseling but am scared because of my prior experience and wonder if it is even necessary. i have a hard time sleeping without cutting because I feel so overwhelmed. sometimes when I do I'm happy. I don't understand why I do or why I cant stop.
Thank you for the help
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Melody is right on track with acknowledging cutting as an addiction. The thing about addictions is that they become part of us; habits that we have to make a choice to unlearn, or at least to change or adjust. The fact that you've managed to get better control over the cutting at times is commendable for sure.
I'm a little unclear on this part, though:
"sometimes when I do I'm happy."
Do you mean that cutting makes you feel happy, or that you're sometimes happy when you feel the urge to cut?
If you mean that cutting makes you feel happy, that's normal - it releases endorphins, which are a feel-good neurotransmitter. Basically, those are your body's natural painkiller.
If you mean you're sometimes happy when you feel the urge and it isn't just stress or other "negative" emotions that are a trigger, I believe that speaks to the habitual nature of the addiction. I know I sound coldly clinical right now, but I think you could use some hard facts right now. I personally always handle things better when I understand what it is I'm dealing with.
Take a look at this: http://www.problemgambling.ca/en/resourcesforprofessionals/pages/stagesofchangemodel.aspx
This is essentially the cycle of how we change behavior. Melody's advice to do something else that produces endorphins is excellent. That's why I run. Maybe running isn't your thing, though - try something else physical. Get your heart pounding for a minute or two and see if you can't stop yourself from cutting, even just that one time.
Realize that this is a process, and that it will not happen overnight... which is the reason I have to tell you that for something like this, you DO need a therapist. But as those before me have mentioned, you need someone you click with. I've actually seen I think twelve different therapists since I was 14. A few of them changed offices or moved and I chose not to follow them, but there were a few of them that were just not what I needed or wanted. If you ever just don't click with a therapist, that's more than enough reason to try to find someone else.
Anyway. I could type your ear off, but I don't want to overwhelm you with information or babble. If you have any questions about anything I've written here, or about the stages of change model, please feel free to drop a question in my inbox.
I hope this was helpful. You ARE strong enough to change this. You just need the right guidance.
Siren
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Q: For a long time I haven't been able to feel anything meaning emotions . I really don't know what it is anymore I make myself think I feel emotions. But now I'm jst not happy at all anymore. I want to tell someone cause I can't even cry when i think of something sad. Maybe its cause my whole life I've been put down called fat ,stupid , & a lot more. I've had boyfriends but they never worked out. I'm just lost with everything at this point. I research about what I'm going though and anti-social personality disorder is the only thing that came up. I read about it & it kinda sounds like me. I've always felt like this but now its just getting worse. What I do.?
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Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) is described by the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, fourth edition (DSM-IV-TR), as an Axis II personality disorder characterized by "...a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood." That is, people with ASPD tend to lack empathy, and not only have the ability to harm others (or themselves) with no remorse, but often do so. ASPD is also known as sociopathy/psychopathy. I have the feeling this is an incorrect diagnosis for you.
I'd agree with the general consensus that rather than a blatant disregard for others' basic human rights, or harming animals without feeling remorse or empathy, you are experiencing a form of clinical depression.
MoRuthless is correct in that some depression is situation-oriented, and the sufferer can, in fact, pull him/herself out of the rut, but clinical (that is, chemical) depression is different, and stems from a true chemical imbalance.
It's not "the blues," or what most people consider feeling depressed, it's a numbness, and exactly what you described. You can't really feel, you have thoughts of worthlessness and helpless/hopelessness.
I wholeheartedly agree that if this is what you're feeling, rather than trying to diagnose yourself, go see a professional. Tell them what you've told us. If nothing else, at least see your general doctor/primary care physician and tell him (or her). He can refer you to a psychiatrist, if necessary, and you may be able to get the help you need.
But do leave the diagnosing to the professionals.
Siren
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Q: thank you so much for your perfect advice.i feel like crying now.. he s so sweet and so much lovable.am the world according to him.but he s being so much harsh to me and talking like hating me if i do some mistakes which will not be a mistake at all from my point of you..but still he loves me truely even i can't stop caring him and he too can't since we belong to same class we care for each other however we fight the day before.he suffered a lot and changed his department and came to my department to take care of me leaving all his close friends and here he is suffering a lot because he has no good and true friends for him..because of me only he is suffering here..how to leave this kind of person??and now how he is going to bear this decision of leaving him??i don't want to see him crying at the same time i have to lead happiest life without any problems.. please give advice
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They're always lovable. That's what makes leaving them so difficult.
But listen to me - you are NOT the bad guy, here, for wanting to be happy. Even if he wasn't abusive, and you were unhappy for some other reason, that's enough cause to leave a relationship. He may be suffering and far from his friends, but you are NOT the reason. You can't control his choices; he made the choice to come to your department to take care of you.
I understand that there's a cultural difference between you and I, and forgive me if I sound ignorant, but I believe that no woman needs a man to take care of her. Certainly no woman needs to be beaten by the man who's supposed to be taking care of her.
It sounds to me like you've made a decision. Now here are some things you should know:
Because you two are so near one another, you may indeed see him being sad. He may make sure that you see how much pain "you've" caused him by leaving him in hopes that you'll come back.
And realistically, honestly, I'll tell you that you're not going to be happy right away. In fact, you may very well be miserable and feel that you've made a huge mistake.
You MUST remember this: You love part of him. He deserves - just as you do - to be loved completely. You only love the man who cares for you. You do not love the man who beats you, but these are one and the same man right now. Please don't settle for half a man.
As for my perfect advice, you're very sweet. Thank you. I'll tell you something, though. If my advice seems perfect for what you're feeling, it's because I've been in your situation. I had my own Jekyll and Hyde to deal with. If you want my whole story, read "To Love a Batterer" in 3 parts: http://drisisrene.hubpages.com/hub/To-Love-a-Batterer
That's my blog, and my story. Believe me, you are not alone, nor will you really be if you do make the choice to leave him.
If anything I've said here is unclear, or if you just need to talk, feel free to send me another question here, or if you have AIM, my screen name is SirenCytherea, and I'd be happy to talk to you. Just let me know you found me here.
You're stronger than you think you are. Take the step, find happiness.
Siren
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Q: hi dear!!am 20 years old female(India). one boy loves me sincerely.even i do..he is so much possessive.. he will not let me to talk with any other boys because of his possessiveness..but sometimes i hate him because of this attitude because i will not be able to talk to any other boys even though i think they are my good friend.... he always cares for my proper dressings..always he warns me to dress up neatly..i assure you i always dress up neatly..sometimes without my knowledge my shawl can move aside.. but he never forgive me for that.. always he scolds me in public that i wanted to adjust my shawl..even he has bet me once in our bus-stop before all because of this shawl matter.. i was so much hurt when i asked for the reason crying he said i bet you because your shawl was not proper and so happy that i have full rites to beat you since you are my wife like that he said...also if i put mobile in silent mode then if he is not able to contact me he will get more tension and scolds me like a hell... all these silly matters hurts me a lot.. but still he loves me he cares for me like heaven..he is in true love with me... whenever he scolds me i feel like hating him and i feel like i lost my life totally..Even though i think to leave him my heart is not allowing me..am suffering to see him lonely..because he has no friends in college...what should i do???is this kind of love important??always it ends up with a fight whenever i think to be happy with him... i cant lead a good life..he is the person who can do anything for me.he is my family friend too..am the girl always wanted to be happy..always i should feel free..i hate anyone who comple me to do something..but in this love am happening to sacrifice many things..if i change my character and sacrifice all the things for my guy,wil i be able to be happy?? if i decide to leave him,there will be no one for me who cares for me but at the same time i wanted to be happy..what should i do??please help and advice me....
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I agree with the columnists below me completely.
He may very well love you - or think that he does - but a person who loves another person does NOT treat a person like he's treating you. That's not okay, and the things that you've called "silly matters" are not silly. He's controlling, possessive, and abusive, and things will only get worse down the road. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if he thinks it's all right to hit you in public now because your shawl had moved, what will he do in the privacy of your home? If you have children with him, do you think he wouldn't be possessive and controlling of them, too, to the point of abuse?
At this point, he's figured out that he can treat you like he owns you, and he can hit you, and you'll stay.
This man demonstrates the "Jekyll and Hyde" phenomenon perfectly. You say he cares for you like heaven and he loves you and can do anything for you. That's the nice side of him. That's the side you love, that you want to be with.
Then he turns into Hyde, the mean guy who hits you and embarrasses you and controls you like he owns you. You're a person, not his property. You don't want to be with Hyde. You want Jekyll. The problem is, with guys like him, that he truly is BOTH of these characters. You cannot have one without the other. If he was never kind and loving, you'd have left already. If he was never mean, you wouldn't be in this situation and you'd be happy. But you're not; you're scared. You're scared of HIM. A woman, no matter what culture, should never have to be afraid of her husband. If you aren't happy with both Jekyll and Hyde, then you need to get out of this relationship.
I don't mean to be harsh, but if he has no friends in college, it's his own problem. If he can't make friends, maybe it's because he's learned it's okay to act like this. You're not doing him any favors by staying. His behavior needs some serious correcting and, unfortunately, he may only learn that by losing everyone and everything.
As to your question, the answer is no. If you change for him, you won't be happy. You may be alone for awhile, but trust me - being alone is better than being beaten for a crooked shawl.
You don't need to get out of depression. You need to get out of this relationship, and find a man who is ONE person - not two.
Please do what's right for you, in order for you to be happy. No relationship is worth this pain.
Siren
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Q: i was very very deeply hurt by a person 4 years back ,i have no contact with him for past 2 years,but now i heard that he got ms orthopaedics in good college,on hearing this i felt jealousy and unhappy,sad.i am 25 years old.i am from india.i am doing md community medicine .initially i was content with my career but now i felt discontent by comparing with him like that he will earn more money,he will get more recognition,approval than me.need advice
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I totally hear where you're coming from.
You can't let this guy get to you. He may be in some "well-known," prestigious college, but he could be at the bottom of his class. You, in what could be a slightly easier program or less well-known college, have the opportunity to excel. It's entirely possible that you'll get a better education, and be a better doctor.
Regardless, don't compare yourself to him. You're two different people headed down different paths in life. You're free of him - you no longer have to feel hurt by him, so don't let his place in life cause you pain.
I know, easier said than done. On some level, you have to trust that those who harm others will pay. Karma, or whatever you believe in, will come back to bite this person at some point in the future. Hopefully you'll get to hear about it, but have a little faith.
As for the recognition/approval issue, the people who really matter and who love you WILL approve. You can make your own recognition in your field by being truly passionate about what you do, and being good at it. Trust me. You don't have to go to the best medical school in the country to be a good doctor or be recognized. Have a little faith in yourself!
Things will work out. He'll get his comeuppance, and you'll excel. In the meantime, relax and enjoy yourself. Don't worry so much about what's going on with people who don't belong in your life.
Siren
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Q: Hi if you are reading this please contact me at ericsmith689@yahoo.com- my problem started 3 years ago when I was 23yrs old. all my life I had emotional problems with anger and depression, but in 2009 I became so depressed that I couldn function at work or school or at functions with my friends, I was also having mood swings toward my girlfriend screaming at her and calling her names and saying i never wanted to talk to her again just because she would text me back 15 minutes late sometimes. I also became paranoid and thought people who worked in resteraunts were trying to poison my food. After going through this long enough I completely broke down and stopped going outside and talking to my friends, I stopped going to work without telling my boss why.Ikeep in mind that before this all happens i was a faithful christian who loved God and had strong views on right from wrong. after 6 months I started noticing that I no longer felt anxious paranoid or depressed but I still didn't feel happy or back to my old self either. slowly I started calling old friends back and going back to church. but something was different. I no longer felt the need to be around other people and I no longer felt the need to talk to people. around my friends I became quiet and distanced even when we were hanging out together. though I had went back to church I no longer felt hate and disgust toward the devil and toward sinful behavior. I no longer felt a connection with God or any love for him. when people would tell me crazy stories or when I would see something gruesome on the t.v. or internet it didn't seems horrible to me like it would have in the past.when ever I would try to read my bible or start trying to study old school books from college it would seem useless and pointless.when friends would try to tell me things to encourage me it no longer affected me. it all just felt pointless. I also felt no love or anger toward any of my family members anymore. the people who I loved in the past i didn't love anymore and the people I had anger towards I no longer had anger towards. the first thing I did was leave my religion because I no longer felt love for God and no longer felt remorseful about anything. then I started going to the mall talking to all the girls I could. I now had the ability to approach women without feeling nervous or anxious, because in my mind what they thought about me no longer mattered. the only problem was that I noticed that talking to women was no longer exciting or enjoyable for me and when I finally lost my virginity to a woman the sex didn't even feel as good to me as masturbation had felt just a few months ago when I was still going to church and saving myself till marriage. it was weird. it was like I still felt that sensation in my penis but the mental and emotional pleasure that comes from sex and masturbation was no longer there. and in order to get an erection the woman had to suck me or jack me off. looking at a womans body no longer made me horny and it seemed worthless to try all the sexual positions that I use to fantasize about, it was no longer appealing. I used to be passionate about making beats and writing poetry but that was no longer fun or appealing. my sister had moved to florida a year ago and she was now calling me all the time cause my mom told her what I had gone through but i rarely cared to talk to my sister. I never called her and most of the time didn't pick up the phone when she called, it just seemed pointless to call her and talk. and by the way by this time my mom is constantly saying "u need to see a psychiatrist" but i keep refusing. I nolonger even go to regular doctor appointments for physicals and checkups, I stop going to the cause it all just seems pointless and the idea of getting sick and dieing is still not a good thing to me but trying to prevent it by regularly seeing a doctor no longer seems worth while. after a year of this I finally go to the psychiatrist and tell them about the anxiety and paranoi i faced and about my current symptoms. based on the paranoia anxiety and emotional problems I had at first they diagnosed me with schizoaffetive disorder and prescribed me medication. I keep saying but no I no longer have anxiety and paranoia I fell nothing, no emotion so these pills won't help. but they insist so I have been taking the meds for two years and I still feel no emotion or pleasure or happiness or sadness or anger at all. no matter what happens I don't cry get happy or get angry. life like this is misery because nothing matters in my mind. in my mind life is just a bunch of nothing for a person like me. nothing feels good or pleasurable, nothing catches my eye or sparks a flame of passion in my heart and I can't grow as a person because i have no emotions to help me become a better person as I experience life. no matter what I do or where I go life is the same to me everyday because i still feel no emotion even when Im in a different state with family or friends, even if I go to Cedar Point and get on a roller coaster Even if a pretty woman with big breasts shows me her tits. and the worst thing of all is that no one believes me or understands when I tell them that I feel no emotion and don't get any joy out of life. they think that its just me keeping to myself and not letting myself enjoy life. that is so frustrating, to have a condition that no one believes or understands. I have been thinking about killing myself because I have been telling psychiatrists these symptoms for 2 years and taking medication for 2 years and haven't seen or felt a change. Many times I think, if everything in life is going to feel pointless on bland and uninteresting to me from now and and if I feel no love for God and see no point of going back to him then I am better off dead. I haven't done it yet cause I think i might do it wrong and end up crippled or brain damaged and I still don't really want to die. just seems like there is nothing to live for. so any one reading this please email me a hello or something so I can see what u have to say about it ericsmith689@yahoo.com
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Hi there. Sorry; I don't usually do e-mail, but I do have a response for you and a couple questions. If you like what I have to say, or would like to speak more in depth with me, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea, or inbox me here, and I'd be more than happy to talk to you. Just so you're aware, I have a psych BA and an in-depth familiarity with quite a few psychotropic medications, but I'm not a doctor.
Schizoaffective disorder sounds like an incorrect diagnosis, even with the paranoia, and I'm sorry you've had to deal with bad diagnosticians. I'm not saying I'm better at it, but it seems to me like the psychiatrists you've gone to are focusing too much on the outlying symptoms, like paranoia and anxiety, that you no longer have, or that are at least intermittent.
Currently, what you're saying is that you feel blank. Numb. Emotionless. Nothing makes you feel good; nothing makes you feel bad.
Correct?
I don't mean to simplify it, because it's certainly not simple, but that sounds like straight-up depression. Chemical depression, though, not situational. Chemical depression causes a person to have too little feel-good chemicals in their brains. Medications like SSRIs, which focus primarily on the mental symptoms of depression, or SNRIs, which focus on some of the physical symptoms of depression (because depression does indeed cause psychosomatic symptoms), are all well and good when the numbness is the primary symptom, but there's more at play here, and ALL of your symptoms need to be addressed.
You said you used to have mood swings, primarily agitation (anger, anxiety).
Did you ever have trouble sleeping?
Did you ever find yourself with too much energy, or do you find yourself now with much less energy than you used to have?
Have you ever blacked out, or lost hours in your day and not remembered what happened (unrelated to drinking or drugs)?
Do you have a family history of mental illness?
Have you ever seen a therapist?
Have you ever had your thyroid tested? Thyroid dysfunction can easily cause severe depression like this, and depression can lead to anxiety and paranoia. Of course, so can Bipolar disorder.
Don't kill yourself. This doesn't have to be permanent. The fact of the matter is that you're being treated with the wrong medications for your condition. You do have a condition, and it is fixable. What needs to be figured out is - first, what condition you have, because it's clear that hasn't been successfully done yet, and secondly - the best way to treat it. There's some kind of chemical or hormonal deficiency going on here.
I don't mean to pry, but what medication(s) are you on?
If the doctors are treating you for the wrong disorder and you've been on the pills for two years with no improvement, something needs to change. Probably a few things.
But don't lose hope - Some people with very severe mental illness just need the right treatment to get back on their feet. You can do the same.
I understand that you're frustrated. I can sympathize a bit. I have a chronic undiagnosable pain problem for which I've seen... what, I think ten different specialists. I have an inch and a half-thick book of various tests I've gone through and treatments I've tried. As far as any doctor can tell I'm completely normal, except for this pain that won't go away.
Pain may be there for the rest of my life, but you won't be this way forever. You just need the right doctor, the right diagnosis, and the right medications. And possibly the right therapist, if you're open to it. Just having someone to talk to can help a surprising amount.
Anyway.
Hang in there for now. Message me any time if you like. If you choose not to, at least consider what I've had to say. Go to your psychiatrist and tell them that you're not getting any better and you're sick of being this way. Stand up for yourself. :)
I wish you luck, patience, and strength.
Siren
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Q: My girlfriend has depression, it's not as severe as it could be, but it often worries me as I can't always be there to see how she's coping when she is having a 'down' day as we're both at university. I don't know how I can help to make her feel better when she is feeling like this, she has self-harmed before and neither of us want it to get to that point again. She says that I am helping, but as I'm not there I don't know if she's just saying that to make me feel at ease...I also know that depression is an illness that isn't going to disappear overnight, I just wondered if anyone had any tips on how I could help her to cope? Just to make her day a little better? Anything.
Thanks.
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Thank you for acknowledging that depression is an illness. I do have to partially disagree with DoktorTammy; real depression is a clinical deficiency in serotonin or dopamine (both feel-good chemicals) in the brain, and can be helped in several ways, some of which include hollistic treatments (accupuncture, aromatherapy, etc.). Most people, when confronted with an illness such as this - and it is an illness; it has remission. However, there is a distinct and important difference between clinical (chemical) depression and situational depression, which does not need to be treated with medications, but with exercise or dancing, or anything that creates endorphins to allow her to feel happier.
Self-injury is as much an addiction as any drug can be, but the reason it works is that endorphins are the body's natural painkillers - so in response to being caused pain, the body releases those painkillers, which make her feel better, temporarily. If she's in remission from this right now, just trust her not to be hurting herself.
Call her whenever you can just to talk. Make sure she knows that you are there for her to talk to, and you care about her. Send her loving messages, write her love letters - snail mail is great in this sense.
She may feel weak, but remind her she's strong.
Is she on any kind of medication for her condition? Is she seeing a therapist? If not, she needs to be at least evaluated for depression to see if medication would help.
I know SSRIs and SNRIs are often unnecessarily prescribed, but it's worth a trip to the doctor for her to see if this is a chemical issue or not. If it is, she needs a prescription. If not, she should still be seeing a therapist. Most insurances will cover some part of mental health treatment.
The best thing for you to do to her, as the columnist before me suggested, is listen to her. If she wants to talk, have a conversation. Do try to convince her to seek therapy, though.
There doesn't have to be a stigma on mental health or mental illness anymore. She's not crazy, she's just hurting. Hell, I see a therapist and I'm not depressed. I do have other issues. It's a good way for me to sort through what's going through my head, when I'm overwhelmed. The journal idea was also a good one, if finances are a problem with the therapist.
Be kind to her. Hug her. Kiss her, cuddle her when you can, talk when you can't. Instant Message, e-mail frequently. Skype... you could get a pair of webcams so you can talk face-to-face. Do what you can to make her feel at ease and able to learn on you, if you can handle it.
Good luck.
Siren
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Q: First of all id just like to say this is more of a statement than a question and for that i apologise i just thought that somebody should hear what im thinking before i die. Im male, 21 years old from the uk and ive finally given up on life.
Ive been trawling the net for days trying to find reasons why i shouldnt kill my self and i just can't think of any, ive felt dead for years, i know its selfish but i dont see any other way.
IT all goes back 11 years when i found out my biological father was a peodophile, what a way to fuck a kids head up, i dont blame my mom for telling me, she got advice from many different people and authorities and was told that it was best to tell me. since then i was never the same i took to stealing and lying, smoking pot and generaly being a prick. i have stolen from my mother so many times ive lost count, ripping her pubs of for £1000's at a time and everytime she has let me back, well i did it again just recently trying to stay out of my own head i picked up an old habit for cocaine and in 2 short weeks of running a pub for her have ripped it off for £900, she and her bloke are in debt up to there eyeballs already and now with this they both might lose there home and job(another pub) i know that im well and truely broken, i should have a seen a shrink years ago but always refused and ive recently come to realise that the drugs the stealing it was always running from the real issues ive left bottled up. It will probably destroy my mom when i kill myself tonight but i figure if i do it im only going to hurt her this 1 last time,
the real question here is do you think she and my little brother will ever forgive me?
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Okay, here's my deal: I'm agnostic, so I won't tell you you have no right to return God's gift. I'm unemployed for no good reason; I'm not going to tell you to stop being a bum and get a job - it's just not that simple.
Let me give you a little background on me:
I'm 24 and from America. I was laid off from a job I loved indescribably three days before Christmas. I'm about to graduate with a psychology BA with no way to fund further schooling without some really good luck. The last guy I dated physically abused me, and I now have chronic neck pain. I also have crohn's disease, which I will never be free of, exercise induced asthma, and a loving, needy cat to care for.
Just to make a point, there's a lot of bad shit in my life that I can't get away from, ever - I made the decision, though, to use my experiences as knowledge and help as many people as I could. I'm not going to tell you I've felt the way you do, because I'm a stubborn, hardheaded bitch. Nothing could ever make me give up and prevent me from all the good I can still do for other people.
The net, in general, isn't going to find you a reason not to go kill yourself. The only person who can make that decision is you - but here's the thing: Why would you? I read what you wrote, and you're a step ahead of most drug addicts who can't and won't admit they have a problem. You've admitted that you do, and that you feel like you're running away from your real problems. You don't have to do drugs, or kill yourself to escape - you need a therapist, and maybe a psychiatrist. Someone to help you face your problems head on like the strong guy I know you want to be, and someone to help you understand that you are nowhere near having no way out.
If you care about your mom and brother, sit them down and tell them what you told us. You seem to be an intelligent person, regardless of the choice you think you've made, so I can only assume that you do actually know that getting rid of yourself is not a way to save them pain and suffering. It would only cause them more. Put yourself in their shoes for a minute.
Your younger brother won't be able to look up to you anymore - all he'll know is that you killed yourself and left him alone. I don't know if you have the same father, but if you do, he'll have no one to understand him. He needs you to commiserate with him when he's old enough to learn what his father is. I could only WISH that I had an older sister to help me through life. Don't take that away from your brother.
Your mother - you already said it would destroy her. You obviously care a lot about her. Do you really want to put her through such misery and pain? Through wondering if she could've been a better mom, if she did the wrong thing, if she could've saved her first born son? You're special to her, even with the "transgressions" you've described above she hasn't disowned you, or whatever.
My response may be a little late, but please, please reconsider. You are not past the point of no return in life. There are still people who love you and need you, and at least one stranger who's willing to spend an hour of her time writing to you in hopes that you won't go through with it. You can turn this around; you just got a little lost on your path, and there's no shame in that.
Please take the initiative and take a step toward fixing this situation.
Best of luck. Please be strong.
Siren
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Q: So I have stopped doing drugs for two years now mainly because I noticed I was tearing my family apart and once I stopped I noticed I formed some anxiety or something maily social I think, I think it may been have been of the drugs because before that I was just fine confident had a good time now whenever there is company or I have to interact vocally with someone I become very panicy especially when I have to look them in the eyes. It's affected my last job and when I go to school it's horrible because i become very weird and akward. So what does this mean idk if I got this after I quit doing drugs but I never had it before. Can someone help me to over come this or know anything of this? If so thank you so much
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**Disclaimer: Not a psychiatrist, not a doctor, not even a licensed psychologist - yet.
Yes, it's absolutely possible that whatever drugs you were on changed your brain on a chemical level.
It would be helpful, in order to give you more accurate information and advice, to know what drugs you were doing. Downers? Uppers? Alcohol? Anxiolytics? Opiates? Pot? Other hallucinogens?
In general, though, your best bet, if it's getting in the way of your school and your work, is to talk to a doctor. Even just a general physician can prescribe something to help you out; something that isn't habit forming, just for you to get a handle on this, that you can stop taking safely once you feel better.
If you're not comfortable with the idea of replacing drugs with other drugs, there are herbal supplements that you can add to your diet to help manage your anxiety.
It's also possible - just to throw it out there - that you were simply predisposed to anxiety, and the drugs caused it to come out. Drug use also, by the way, rarely occurs as a stand-alone issue. Often, it's a symptom. People use drugs to self-medicate for depression, or ADD/ADHD, for example, because they feel better - more normal - when they use.
Counseling might also help you explore the anxiety you feel. Maybe if you can discover the reason for the anxiety you'll be able to manage it.
Anyway, I'd love to go into more detail and give you a better idea of what's going on with you, but I need more information from you.
Specifically, it would be helpful to know:
* Which drugs were you taking?
* How did you stop taking them? Cold-turkey? Or tapered down?
* Was your family supportive in your quitting? What about your friends?
* Have you ever seen a counselor?
* Have you ever been evaluated for any other psychological or mental health issues?
* How old are you?
If you'd rather discuss this privately, feel free to send a message to my inbox on here - though I warn you that it will show up on my column as a question I've answered - or message me on AIM - my screen name is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me on this site.
However, if I don't hear back from you, take my suggestions with a grain of salt, but I wish you the best of luck, and healing. :)
Siren
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Q: It is too expensive but I am a mess without it. Emotionally, I have been a wreck for the last month... which is the longest I have been off of it in 11 years. I have no health insurance & no way of getting any for a long time from now. I enrolled in a program that takes so long to get approved for a decent price we can afford. Should I stick it out & make sure my regular shipments to my doctor arrive so I can stay on them consistently or you think it is best to take any samples my Doctor has , even if I run out again before my regular supply is shipped to him?
Thanks :)
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Absolutely, yes, take any samples your doctor has, even if you feel embarrassed about it. Staying on the medication that helps you is MUCH more important than pride. Trust me - I was in a two-year battle with an insurance company over one of my meds, and just kept getting samples from my doctor. I have different insurance now, thankfully, but I couldn't be off the med - so I got samples.
In the medical world, medication samples are given or shipped to doctors free of charge, often particularly for the medications that do not have a generic available, or are extremely expensive (such as Cymbalta, Abilify, and Suboxone). If your doctor has samples, take them. It doesn't cost your doctor anything, nor should it cost you anything; there's no reason not to.
Depression medications should NEVER be suddenly stopped, especially after so long on them - you can get withdrawal symptoms, and even rebound depression or anxiety, insomnia; the list goes on. You say you've been a wreck for the last month; it's time to do something. There's no reason for you to have to feel the way you do.
Is there a reason you've been off it, if your doctor has samples? Or does your doctor not have samples? Maybe not enough samples?
Your doctor's office can arrange with their local drug rep to have a certain amount of samples given to them, specifically FOR you - I worked in a psychiatrist's office for two and a half years, and did this for several patients. All the office staff has to do is give the representative a call - or the company, depending. I managed to keep several patients on their medications that way, until they could get insurance, switch to a more affordable medication, or get on a program.
Even without insurance, there's ALWAYS a way around the system. Please feel free to inbox me, or add to your question here, if I've misunderstood, or if you have more questions.
Also - if your doctor's office doesn't know their drug rep, they need to call the company and ask them who to talk to about getting a steady supply of samples for a patient. Remember, drug companies WANT people to take their medication. They'll help you stay on it.
But yes, definitely, take the initiative, talk to your doctors' office, and get some samples.
Siren
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Q: Recently, I've been having weird sleeping issues. I'm having trouble, getting restless, and mostly I feel like there's someone or something else in the room with me and I'm a really paranoid person, so I'm also afraid of falling asleep... And my dog acts a bit weird too, like he can't stand being in here. It's kind of freaking me out, and I know it's irrational thinking. Can anyone help me?
Also, I don't know if it helps, but I just got off a perscription drug to help me sleep called xanax, but I went off it because it was making me a bit depressed and miserable... So, could it be because I quit taking the medication?
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***DISCLAIMER!!!***
I am not a doctor.*
*******************
Okay. Continuing...
Xanax is not a sleep aid. It is an anxiolytic - an anti-anxiety medication. Using it for sleep is not uncommon, but it IS off-label. If you had bad side effects on it, chances are it's because it wasn't the right medication for you. Your doctor needs to hear about these side effects, AND that you stopped the medication in order to assess the situation and give you the right medication.
In response to your question, yes. If you were on the Xanax for any significant, steady time period, and suddenly stopped, you could be suffering some withdrawal symptoms. It sounds to me like you could use something for anxiety, though, if you're having paranoia. Was that a symptom you were having before you started taking Xanax?
Are you under the care of a psychiatrist? If not, you may consider looking into it, particularly if you're getting into psychotropic medications. Therapy can also be very helpful in learning techniques to relax before bedtime, to quell your paranoia/nervousness.
My best advice is to seek better treatment - a psychiatrist or a therapist, not a general practitioner.
Siren
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Q: What happens if you took 37.5mg of zopiclone, the prescription sleeping pills?
Please just answer the question, don't put your presumptions of this question in your reply, or else you can simply fuck off.
Not in the mood to deal with peoples bullshit.
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First - You really think you're going to get what you want by being short with us?
Being that Zopiclone is a sleeping pill, it works on the central nervous system to impair certain functioning and induce sleepiness, hence the common problem of amnesia.
In case of an overdose..."Exaggeration of pharmacologic effects, impairment of consciousness ranging from somnolence to coma, and death."
Basically, if someone were to take that much sleeping medication, they'd probably wind up in a coma.
http://www.drugs.com/search.php?searchterm=zopiclone This is the most reliable website I know as far as drug information goes.
Siren
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Q: i went to a shrink once just to see what he thought of me. He told me i stimulated myself through illegal activities which i think is true. I do illegal things to keep me from being depressed or lonely because they make me not care anymore or be sad. Anyways, he told me that adderall was for people that needed stimulation and was also good for depression. My mom won't let me be prescribed anything so i started taking adderall myself and got it from my friends. When i take it i feel great and dont need to do illegal things to feel good about myself or keep me from being bored. But days that i don't take it, i feel even worse than i did before and now i dont want to stop taking it but i have none left because i'm not prescribed it. what should i do? am i addicted to it or something? i feel even worse than before i started taking it
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Disclaimer time!
I don't have a medical license. I do, however, deal with a lot of psychoactive medications, and I'm very familiar with this one. So I'll give you my two cents.
Just because it makes you feel better and you want to keep taking it doesn't automatically mean you're addicted. What you're doing is called self-medicating. You have a problem, you found a solution, albeit not the best one, and took it upon yourself to help yourself, since no one else was helping you.
Adderall is a stimulant, yes, but it's more commonly prescribed for ADD or ADHD than depression because it stimulates a part of the brain that helps with focus. In someone without one of those disorders, it can act as a mood elevator. As with any drug that gives you a high, when you come off of it, you'll probably experience a lower low. This is HOW people get addicted - people are afraid of, or cannot handle, the low that comes after the high, so they take more of their drug of choice to avoid it and keep the good feeling coming. That's both a physical and a psychological addiction. If you want to stop taking the drug but can't handle the crappy feeling that comes with the low, that's more of a physical addiction. A psychological addiction is more like the way a person can get addicted to food, or something, where there's no physical risk of withdrawal, but there's a desire for the drug (or Twinkies, as it were).
All that said, what you're doing by self-medicating is neither smart nor legal. It isn't cocaine or methamphetamine, but Adderall is, indeed, an amphetamine. It just isn't illegal in and of itself. At this point, you have two options:
1) You've already run out, and you're going through withdrawals. You can either stick it out and the withdrawals will eventually stop, but it'll suck until they do, or you can get your hands on some more (this is not the best idea, of course) and wean yourself off by starting where you were as far as dosage and decreasing your dose by small increments every five days or so. The increment kind of depends on how much you were taking.
2) If you think that this medication really, honestly helps you, come clean. Either tell your mom about your experience (emphasizing how it helped you, of course), or if you think she really won't understand (and she might not, if she won't let you take medication), go back to the shrink and tell him about this. Your mom might listen to the information if it comes from a professional, AND he doesn't have to tell her that you've been getting Adderall illegally.
That's the thing, though - you say the Adderall helps you and you "don't need to do illegal things to feel good about yourself," but you're STILL doing something illegal. You've gotta find a way to get what you need, and do it right.
Like I said, I don't have any kind of medical license, but it sounds to me that if you're addicted to anything, it's the feeling/adrenaline that comes from doing illegal things. The fact is that there's nothing to make you "need" to break the law. Lots and lots of people around the world are bored on a daily basis and don't do illegal things to entertain themselves, or to make themselves feel better. I'm not going to pick on you about that though, because chances are if you're doing something like this, you do have some kind of psychological problem.
So. The first thing you should probably do is figure out what you want to do about the Adderall. I suggest you get a prescription. To treat your condition/disorder/issue properly, you need to be under a doctor's care, no matter how much you know about the drug. You don't say how old you are - if you're 18 or older, in most states, you don't need a parent's consent for medication. If you do decide to stick it out and get through the withdrawals, don't start taking it from your friends again. No matter what, it is NOT smart to continue getting it illegally. I highly recommend getting a second evaluation either from the same shrink or a different one.
Hang in there. If you have any other medication questions, feel free to send a question to my inbox or IM me (SirenCytherea on AIM) and I'll do my best to answer quickly.
Best of luck if I don't hear from you.
Siren
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Q: Sometimes I get into this state of mind for no reason that its hard to describe but I will try my best to see if its understandable.
~A feeling i am being watched, not as protected but more like studied.
~Senses are a little bit abstracted. Facial movements seem intensified to where its scowling/grimacing, distorted.
~My senae of hearing is distorted and sound is less ambient and sounds more minor-tone.
Im not sure i would call it schizophrenic, my thoughts arent racing, I speak fast but I live in Michigan and we speak fast here, no one has yet told me a person doesnt exist.
I have had depression in the early and mid teen years.
17/m
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What stands out to me is that you feel that you're being watched, and the sounds become dulled, if I'm interpreting you correctly. Please know that this is not an official or professional diagnosis - I'm years away from having my license to practice - and that I strongly suggest you have a psychological evaluation.
Just based on what you tell me up there, I'd call it General Anxiety Disorder.
A couple of questions, though:
Do you ever feel out of body, or like you're not really present?
Do you ever find yourself missing hours in the day, unable to account for what happened during them?
You mentioned you struggled with depression - are you feeling any of those symptoms?
Does your heart rate ever speed up (or slow down) considerably when you're just standing there?
Do you ever use any drugs? No judgments here - some of them can cause some of the symptoms you're describing.
Do you sleep at least 6 hours a night?
I'm hoping you'll give me a little more info so I can see the situation a little more clearly, but if not, please get yourself evaluated - there's no reason to feel this way. If you're not sure how to go about finding someone to evaluate you, drop a question in my inbox or IM me (SirenCytherea on AIM).
If you don't choose to contact me, good luck, and hang in there.
Siren
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Q: I am a college student and am having such a hard time now, but am afraid to start therapy. I have gotten through so many issues by myself, including self-injury and bulimia, but I feel that I shouldn’t have done it on my own. I feel like I can survive on my own, but I am not very happy.
I am afraid to start therapy because of the money too. I am under my parents’ insurance and I am unsure if they would find out. I don’t want them to find out, and I’m also not sure if I would have enough money to pay for it anyway.
What should I do? Should I try to keep doing things by myself or should I try to get therapy despite everything?
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Congrats for getting through all of that on your own. That's some big stuff to work through, and takes a LOT of willpower. I'm impressed. I'm sure you're (beginning to be) aware, though, that there comes a time in everyone's life when they just can't do it alone anymore. I'm all for therapy. Are you 18 or over? 'Cause if you are, legally, the therapist and his/her office aren't allowed to tell your parents anything without a signed release from YOU stating that they're allowed to speak with them.
However, if/when your parents receive the bill(s) from your insurance company, I'm almost certain that counseling will be on it. Your parents will find out if insurance is covering you for mental health services.
Or, as the first advicenator said, check your school. I know mine offers therapy at $12 per session for enrolled students.
The school-based therapy you could do silently, without your parents finding out, but you really should consider involving them. I can almost guarantee that they'd rather you get help if you're struggling than continue to struggle and not talk to anyone. You don't feel comfortable going to your parents for help? That's fine. All the more reason to try therapy. An outsider's opinion and suggestions are often easier to stomach than family's.
Yes, starting therapy can be difficult. It's never easy to open up to someone new, which is why it's important to find a therapist/counselor that you like and can connect with. Unfortunately, it might mean that you have to meet a few different ones before you're comfortable.
Be comforted in the fact that seeking help for handling life is not uncommon in this day and age, and is often commended. You're aware that you're struggling, and your first instinct is to seek help. This is a GOOD thing.
In your shoes, if I REALLY didn't want to involve my parents, I think I would try my school first. If it's unavailable for whatever reason, or you don't like the therapists/counselors there, THEN you sit your parents down and say, "Mom, Dad, I'm having some serious issues, and I'd really like to get help for them. I tried [insert college here]'s therapy program, but it's not working for me. I'd really like you to help me find somewhere else to go."
If you flat-out ask them for help, they'll jump on the chance. Parents want to be involved in their child's life, even if it's just to help find the right therapist. Let them help you help yourself.
If you want someone to talk to, you can IM me at SirenCytherea on AIM. I can't legally be your therapist, but I can certainly give you some helpful pointers. =)
If I don't hear from you, I wish you strength. You'll get where you need to be.
Siren
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Q: It's been like this for quite some time now. I feel lost, like I'm slipping away. I've been stressed with relationships, friendships, and school.And.. I feel so different with my boyfriend then before, and I'm not too sure why. I mean, I still care for him, but something has changed. And we got into this fight today, and it hasnt helped whatsoever. I've been in this big hole of depression. I don't know what to do. On top of this, I've had a really bad urge to hurt myself. I've already cut myself open with my nails. Any advice would be appreciated.
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I'm sure you're aware, cutting yourself in any way is really bad, but with your NAILS? Hello, infection! Please at least pick something you can sterilize...
I can give you a few tips and suggestions:
First thing you need to do as far as that's concerned is be aware of when you get these urges. When that happens, also be aware that you are not a slave to your urges. You can control them, that's part of what makes you human. I can understand the frustration and the desire to feel something solid, and the endorphins that cutting actually produces, but that is NOT the way to go.
Cutting is like a drug, and it's just as addictive. You need to stop while you still can, and channel your energy into something else. If you really want to do something physical, when you feel like hurting yourself, go for a run instead. That produces endorphins just like cutting, and if you run hard enough, it hurts. Or, if you need sharp pain, keep a rubber band around your wrist and snap it instead. That won't leave scars, and your brain will have a similar reaction to that as it does to the cutting.
But, that's just one temporary solution. If you feel like you're losing your mind with stress like this, and you're aware that you're in a hole, you MUST seek counseling. We on this site can give you little suggestions, but in the end, we can't even help facilitate change because we're so disconnected from you. You need someone you can talk to on a weekly basis - or even bi-weekly, who you can connect with, who can help you climb out of your hole.
You can IM me at SirenCytherea on AIM if you want someone to talk to a little more, but you HAVE to seek active therapy in some way. The human contact makes a huge difference. If you do decide to contact me, try to IM more than once so I know you're not spam. As far as seeking counseling, I suggest you call your insurance company and ask if they can recommend an outpatient mental health facility near you.
I know you know that this is no way to live. That's why you reached out to us. Help yourself by finding someone to actively help you.
If I don't hear from you, I wish you good luck and strength. You won't feel this way forever. You'll get through this. =)
Siren
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Q: So I just got to college about 13 hours ago... Im about 4 hours from home and I feel so depressed. I have never felt this way before and I just want to go home. I don't have the strength to do anything. I miss everyone. I feel empty I know no one here and it just hurts!! I have been crying ever since my mom went back home!!! what to do?
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Awww, I know how you feel. Granted, my college wasn't that far away, but I still changed cities and people. None of my friends from HS went to the college I chose.
Talk to your mom on the phone at least once a day. It helps - if you're close, you can tell her about your day, and she'll be a part of your life that way, and you won't feel so separated from her. Call your friends, too. Leave your instant messenger service on so they can leave you messages, and you can talk to them when you get a chance. At some point, travel out to go see your friends, or have them come up to see you.
This isn't the last time you're going to see the people you care about. They're not GONE, and neither are you. You're just away for awhile. I know it's tough to be alone in an unfamiliar place, but if you can stop crying for awhile, go knock on your neighbors' doors and introduce yourself. I'm sure the last thing you want to do right now is meet people, but the sooner you start to make friends, the sooner you start to feel less alone. =)
Go out to your local on-campus cafe with your textbooks and study for awhile. Just being out among other people might make you feel a little better. And hey, if all else fails, notice someone's book and ask what class they're studying for.
I do strongly suggest getting to know the people around you, though. Introduce yourself to your resident assistant, too. He/she might be your best advocate and could be a good friend. Strike up conversations with people in your classes. I'm sure some people are in a similar situation; you're really not as alone as you feel.
As far as not having the strength, yes you do. You're doing something great, you're furthering your education. You HAVE to force yourself to keep going. Listen to your brain - you're feeling depressed and alone. Therefore, the best thing to do is to not allow yourself to actually BE alone.
Branch out, reach out. Just because you feel something doesn't mean it's the reality. Feeling alone and depressed doesn't always mean BEING alone and depressed...and you can control that.
Chin up, things will get better. Dry your eyes and smile at someone. =)
Siren
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Q: The entire extent of my emotional range is comprised of anger and contempt, and boredom and neutrality. I don't feel sadness, happiness, longing, grief or contentment. I'm described by others as brilliant, an analogical thinker, skillful and talented. Also described as distant, untrusting, uncaring and hateful by anyone I allow the mask to slip around.
I find most other humans to be naive, short-sighted, dim-witted, and stubborn fools. I am very perceptive, and I can read people very well. This almost always leads to the inevitable discovery that each person is a selfish beast who has no idea how things really work and therefore no clue about the world around them. This leads to a lot of contempt for most people. Contempt is one emotion I think I do feel. Why should I be so angry that (random example) Bob the Creationist refuses to see scientific fact, or is too stupid to understand it? I probably shouldn't be, but I am. Bob really pisses me off and I just want to knock that stupid smile off of his face. Yet, on the other hand, I will go out of my way to remove an offending spider from the house without hurting it.
Why can't I look at a tree and see its 'beauty'? Why do I instead see a collection of fibrous material supported by a root system, that branches off to support photosynthesizing leaves? Why must I then consider the stresses on the trunk induced by each portion of the tree in various environmental conditions, rather than just noting how pretty the leaves look in the wind? I don't know how pretty they are, I only know of the phenomenon of other people thinking they are pretty. Do you follow me?
I can't remember if I ever really felt other emotions. I think I did, I must have, when I was a kid. I don't really remember much of my childhood. Most of it is less than a blur. And most of what I do remember are bad memories. (Not necessarily terrible or evil, just not good.) I also know I did experience some abuse as a child. Mostly verbal and mental. Some sexual. But I remember those things, so they aren't repressed, and therefore shouldn't be manifesting as this problem. So, am I just naturally antisocial and narcissistic? Anyone have any ideas?
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In a sentence, you're an intelligent person surrounded by stupidity. I don't mean to sound conceited, but you're not the only smart person out there. There's a pretty simple explanation for this, and it has nothing to do with your obsessive-compulsive tendencies, or the abuse you suffered. But if you're not in psychotherapy, you should consider it. More on that in a second.
Part of this is your own doing: You're over-analyzing the world. You've demystified everything (so you think). Nothing's a puzzle, nothing's new, everything's boring, people are stupid. Where's the fun in that? Where's the LIFE in that?
Part of the beauty is not knowing everything, and believe me, you don't. No one does; no one can.
Anyway, your tendency to overanalyze could be attributed to your obsessive tendencies, but it's pretty characteristic of intelligent people, and cynical people, one of which you have become (that's typical of intelligent people, too). But you need to realize that you have CONTROL over this - you don't have to let it control you.
That being said, let me ask you this: What is the logical reasoning behind allowing yourself to be sucked into this negative spiral? Really think about that one for a minute.
As far as the abuse and negativity in your childhood, it could definitely be a contributor to your present negativity. Many things could be a factor in this, but you CAN overcome this.
Now. You've stated that you're having some serious problems with the lack of happiness that you feel. I'm sure you're aware that something isn't quite right as far as your thought processes go. That being the case, I strongly recommend you seek counseling from a psychologist, NOT a psychiatrist. If you and your psychologist determine that medication could be beneficial to you, then by all means seek out a psychiatrist. But what you need, it seems, is a new perspective - someone to help you think about the world in a different, more positive light. Psychotherapy is THE best way to instigate change and start walking down a mentally healthy path.
Everyone deserves to feel a little bit of happiness, intelligent or otherwise. You don't have to suffer like this, so please do something about it. Give your insurance company a call, find out if you're covered for mental health, and ask if they can recommend any counseling centers near you.
There's hope. =)
Siren
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Q: I took a test. A very accurate test, and found
there's a 90% chance that I have Paranoid
Schizophrenia and I accept that. I often pretend
I don't, but I can't deny it, my friends are a
little afraid or weirded out by me nowadays.
I looked up treatment and whatnot, I really don't
want to go to a facility and get shock treatment,
have to talk in big groups of people, I don;t
like people... in large numbers, I feel as if
they're all staring at me. I also know that I
will have to get off the drugs I'm doing at the
moment, I don't want any of that.
So, do you think I'd get worse if I didn't see a
doctor about it. I don't want to tell anybody,
but since I don't know you, I suppose it's okay.
But if you tell anybody, be prepared to loose
your knee-caps and other much needed body parts.
Regards,
Me.
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Let me first put it out there that I'm not anti-drug as long as it's controlled and doesn't cause problems. I also have nothing against you for doing drugs. But I'm probably going to give you an answer you don't want.
I understand that you don't want to give up any part of your life, but if you're doing hard drugs, particularly hallucinogens, you need to stop right now.
All recreational drugs can exacerbate mental problems. Mark Vonnegut (Kurt Vonnegut's son (If you haven't read Slaughterhouse Five or Cat's Cradle, do so. They're fantastic books.)) had a psychotic break when he dropped acid, and wrote an entire book from the POV of a schizophrenic. Haven't had the chance to read it yet, but I'm dying to. Granted, this was eons ago, but hard drugs can still cause psychotic breaks. That is to say, if you're prone to any kind of mental condition, a drug can bring it out.
Kudos for taking a test and accepting the possibility of a serious problem, but until you're diagnosed by a psychiatrist, you can't be sure you have it. But, if you think there's a good chance, again, get off the drugs, or find different drugs. Like endorphins. From exercise.
You said you accept your possible condition, and yet you aren't dealing with your current problems - paranoia, anxiety, etc. If you don't deal with these problems, they will absolutely get worse, and you could very well have a psychotic break, which would cause you even MORE trouble than getting off the drugs. You do not by any means have to go to group therapy. If you need therapy, it can be individual, with a therapist you like, with whom you can speak comfortably. If you're having trouble with paranoia and anxiety, you need to seek therapy. And again, discontinue your drug use. He or she will instruct you to do the same thing.
Did you know some of your described symptoms can be attributed to certain drugs? Some can cause paranoia and anxiety. You can't possibly diagnose a mental condition when you're high.
Just throwing it out there, none of us are doctors here, I don't think. I can't accurately diagnose you, or tell you whether or not you'll wind up in a mental institution if you don't see a real doctor. I can't even tell you for sure that your symptoms sound like that of paranoid schizophrenia. If you stop doing drugs, and you still have these symptoms, then yes, that could be the case. Are these symptoms you've had since before you started doing drugs?
Either way, you need to consider the possibility of seeing someone to help yourself find a way to deal with what you're feeling, get past it, and live a healthy, happy life. Insurance often covers the cost of therapy for awhile, too. So consider it.
In the future, please provide us with your age and gender so we can better answer your question.
Good luck,
Siren
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Q: theirs this party for our graduation from 8th grade and her brothers from senior in highschool, there will be drinking. im only staying at the party for like 2 hours then i have to go to my school carnival with my friends and cousins and if im drunk theyd kill me. but i wana go its one of my best friends, but if i drink more than just one thatd be bad, altho im not that light at it. if my parents or cousins do notice i drank at all and ask me, what should i say, bc if i say no and they can tell or smell it, what do i do? if i end up drunk what do i do, i have to go to the carnival after :/ what could i do to make the drunkness calm down however you say that lol eat or drink or do anything ill do it. i just need toknow before hand, its this weekend. any advice about going or what i can do if i get drunk.
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You can control the situation, that's what you can do. There's no excuse for "ending up drunk" unless you have absolutely no self-control, or the punch was spiked and you didn't know. There is no reason you can't say "No, I'd rather not drink," or "No thanks, I'm just gonna have fun at the carnival," or even "Hey, I'm only 13 (14?). It's illegal, I don't wanna risk getting in trouble."
There's no way to fix drunkenness except time. Bread does not "work." The only thing it does is act as a buffer to prevent the alcohol from irritating your stomach and making you sick. Alcohol IS a form of poison. When you drink, the poison that makes you all goofy goes into your bloodstream, it doesn't sit in your stomach to be soaked up by a loaf of bread or anything similar. Hence "blood alcohol level."
If you do "wind up drunk," if your parents ask you, you tell them the truth. Lying to your parents may seem like a good idea at the time, but if you have the guts to tell them the truth they'll respect you for doing it. Trust me. I've tried both ends of the spectrum. Your parents will be angrier about the fact that you lied to them than the fact that you drank. If you show them you have the presence of mind to know that you did something wrong, but that you did it in moderation, they'll believe you have self control and they'll be able to trust you. Speaking from experience here. My parents didn't like me going to parties at fourteen at first, but when nothing bad happened, I was never hungover the next day, and my parents didn't have to deal with any of the problems that can come with drinking, they realized I had a brain, and good judgment.
So, show your parents that they didn't raise an idiot. Have one or two drinks if you really must, and stop at that.
Keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.
-Siren =)
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bio
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I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.
I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.
I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.
Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.
***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***
If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.
I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.
Siren
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Info
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Website: Gender: Female Age: 26 AIM: Member Since: February 13, 2004 Answers: 1526 Last Update: April 26, 2014 Visitors: 107582
Main Categories:
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