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about getting out of my depression
thank you so much for your perfect advice.i feel like crying now.. he s so sweet and so much lovable.am the world according to him.but he s being so much harsh to me and talking like hating me if i do some mistakes which will not be a mistake at all from my point of you..but still he loves me truely even i can't stop caring him and he too can't since we belong to same class we care for each other however we fight the day before.he suffered a lot and changed his department and came to my department to take care of me leaving all his close friends and here he is suffering a lot because he has no good and true friends for him..because of me only he is suffering here..how to leave this kind of person??and now how he is going to bear this decision of leaving him??i don't want to see him crying at the same time i have to lead happiest life without any problems.. please give advice
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
They're always lovable. That's what makes leaving them so difficult.
But listen to me - you are NOT the bad guy, here, for wanting to be happy. Even if he wasn't abusive, and you were unhappy for some other reason, that's enough cause to leave a relationship. He may be suffering and far from his friends, but you are NOT the reason. You can't control his choices; he made the choice to come to your department to take care of you.
I understand that there's a cultural difference between you and I, and forgive me if I sound ignorant, but I believe that no woman needs a man to take care of her. Certainly no woman needs to be beaten by the man who's supposed to be taking care of her.
It sounds to me like you've made a decision. Now here are some things you should know:
Because you two are so near one another, you may indeed see him being sad. He may make sure that you see how much pain "you've" caused him by leaving him in hopes that you'll come back.
And realistically, honestly, I'll tell you that you're not going to be happy right away. In fact, you may very well be miserable and feel that you've made a huge mistake.
You MUST remember this: You love part of him. He deserves - just as you do - to be loved completely. You only love the man who cares for you. You do not love the man who beats you, but these are one and the same man right now. Please don't settle for half a man.
As for my perfect advice, you're very sweet. Thank you. I'll tell you something, though. If my advice seems perfect for what you're feeling, it's because I've been in your situation. I had my own Jekyll and Hyde to deal with. If you want my whole story, read "To Love a Batterer" in 3 parts: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
That's my blog, and my story. Believe me, you are not alone, nor will you really be if you do make the choice to leave him.
If anything I've said here is unclear, or if you just need to talk, feel free to send me another question here, or if you have AIM, my screen name is SirenCytherea, and I'd be happy to talk to you. Just let me know you found me here.
You're stronger than you think you are. Take the step, find happiness.
Siren
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