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Therapy or no?


Question Posted Wednesday October 14 2009, 10:51 pm

I am a college student and am having such a hard time now, but am afraid to start therapy. I have gotten through so many issues by myself, including self-injury and bulimia, but I feel that I shouldn’t have done it on my own. I feel like I can survive on my own, but I am not very happy.

I am afraid to start therapy because of the money too. I am under my parents’ insurance and I am unsure if they would find out. I don’t want them to find out, and I’m also not sure if I would have enough money to pay for it anyway.

What should I do? Should I try to keep doing things by myself or should I try to get therapy despite everything?


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kristamikele answered Saturday October 17 2009, 11:53 pm:
I just want to reiterate what the other two posters said about talking to your parents. No matter what, they will never find out what you tell your therapist, so you definately don't have to worry about that.
I feel like therapy may be a really great thing for you, because you have overcome the destructive habits, but it is really difficult to deal with the underlying issues that cause the habits by yourself.
You don't have to get into things too deeply with your parents. If you tell them you are stressed about the total life change of going to college and stressed about the future, you can ease them into the idea. They will probably support you whole-heartedly and be proud that you are mature enough to recognize you need some help.

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Siren_Cytherea answered Friday October 16 2009, 11:56 pm:
Congrats for getting through all of that on your own. That's some big stuff to work through, and takes a LOT of willpower. I'm impressed. I'm sure you're (beginning to be) aware, though, that there comes a time in everyone's life when they just can't do it alone anymore. I'm all for therapy. Are you 18 or over? 'Cause if you are, legally, the therapist and his/her office aren't allowed to tell your parents anything without a signed release from YOU stating that they're allowed to speak with them.
However, if/when your parents receive the bill(s) from your insurance company, I'm almost certain that counseling will be on it. Your parents will find out if insurance is covering you for mental health services.
Or, as the first advicenator said, check your school. I know mine offers therapy at $12 per session for enrolled students.
The school-based therapy you could do silently, without your parents finding out, but you really should consider involving them. I can almost guarantee that they'd rather you get help if you're struggling than continue to struggle and not talk to anyone. You don't feel comfortable going to your parents for help? That's fine. All the more reason to try therapy. An outsider's opinion and suggestions are often easier to stomach than family's.
Yes, starting therapy can be difficult. It's never easy to open up to someone new, which is why it's important to find a therapist/counselor that you like and can connect with. Unfortunately, it might mean that you have to meet a few different ones before you're comfortable.
Be comforted in the fact that seeking help for handling life is not uncommon in this day and age, and is often commended. You're aware that you're struggling, and your first instinct is to seek help. This is a GOOD thing.
In your shoes, if I REALLY didn't want to involve my parents, I think I would try my school first. If it's unavailable for whatever reason, or you don't like the therapists/counselors there, THEN you sit your parents down and say, "Mom, Dad, I'm having some serious issues, and I'd really like to get help for them. I tried [insert college here]'s therapy program, but it's not working for me. I'd really like you to help me find somewhere else to go."
If you flat-out ask them for help, they'll jump on the chance. Parents want to be involved in their child's life, even if it's just to help find the right therapist. Let them help you help yourself.
If you want someone to talk to, you can IM me at SirenCytherea on AIM. I can't legally be your therapist, but I can certainly give you some helpful pointers. =)
If I don't hear from you, I wish you strength. You'll get where you need to be.

Siren

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blwinteler answered Friday October 16 2009, 7:30 pm:
You already know therapy would help, or you wouldn't be trying to figure it out. You should also know that your parents can help, and hiding from them may add to the stress you are under.
Check with your school. Many colleges have counseling programs for the students at low cost. You will not be seeing a therapist, but a counselor. You may find them to be very helpful.

If that doesn't work, talk to your parents. I know you prefer for them not to know, but trust me on this one. Let them know you want to get help for this but aren't sure you can afford it. As a parent and as someone who has suffered depression and bipolar disorder (even attempted suicide), I know that they will help you. It is hard to ask for help, especially from loved ones, but it really is often the best way to get the help you need.

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