My wife and I have a great marriage. She and I have another male/female couple that we have regualr sex with. I currently make love to my male friend about four times a month. My wife and my male lover's wife would like us guys to have sex more often, they mentioned having sex about 15-20 nights per month. Is is a good idea?
Only do what you are comfortable with, that's the only advice I can give you. If you're unhappy with this idea, tell them, and if not then it's your right to do whatever you'd like - it's your life, afterall.
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Do I live my boyfriend for my best friend, I actually love both and do not want to loose any
You should talk to them both, leaving someone (a friend or partner) is a very difficult decision; don't decide without speaking to both of them first. As another person has said, saving time for both is a very good idea, or maybe see if they can get to know each other and see them at the same time. However, any friend would accept your boyfriend and any boyfriend would accept your best friend. There's no reason you should lose either because you love them both! I wish you the best.
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so i was in a long distance relation but we broke up after 3 months and i tried to fix the problem but she just wouldn't even try and think about it and i tried texting her and she was reading those texts but not replying to any of them and she'd just say "idk what to say"
and after a while she said that i "spam" her with texts but all i sent was 3 texts telling how i feel about her and she called it "spam" and it hurt me a lot and so i blocked her on social media and also in the multiplayer game that we met ! . it's really hard for me to give up on her and i just love her a lot and at this point i'm just hurt a lot and thinking about her MOST of the time and idk what to do....
i'm thinking of reconnecting with her (i know i'm dumb but i just love her a lot) and i don't know whether this is the right thing to do....
i'm thinking of texting her in the game we met
so yea as i said before i'm just confused and don't know what to do that's why i'm asking for your help
Thank you for taking your time in reading this
I understand. It's hard to let someone go, but whether or not you try to rekindle your relationship with her is completely up to you. Try to measure out the pros and cons; you may have been happy before, but clearly you were miserable after the end of your relationship - can you really go through that pain again? If it's too much to handle, I would suggest trying to move on with your life, meet someone new and find happiness elsewhere. This decision is one only you can make, but there's nothing wrong with trying again one more time if that's what you need, you will either get her back or you will get closure and the ability to move on. So I would suggest going for it, giving it one last shot, see how it goes and if it doesn't go well, just accept it and try to get on with your life. Believe it or not, it IS possible to heal a broken heart. I wish the best of luck to you in your future.
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I have absolutely no self-esteem because of my past full of such horrible events, so this is probably why I dwell on this so heavily all the time. Deeply, I feel that I am not good enough for my fiance... maybe because I've been told all my life that I'm not good enough, but it's just no matter how hard I try... I don't feel good enough for this man.
I practice "smiling depression" everyday, because I don't ever want to bother him with my major clinical depression. I *do* get help for my depression and horrid generalized anxiety disorder, but it takes everything I have to appear "perfectly okay" to him, because... I'm never okay. My illnesses plus my chronic pain and fatigue take nearly 95% of all the energy I have. Attempting to make my fiance as happy as he should be takes away the rest of my energy. I feel as if I'm just existing. I'm ****ing (please, please, please excuse my language) miserable.
But I want to be better for him, because I love him more than I could ever love anyone or anything. He's my rock; all that I live for; I literally have nothing else to live for, which I have *NEVER* told him because I don't want to put that kind of pressure on him.
As I stated above, I practice "smiling depression" for him all the time.
I am losing weight for him. I brisk-walk like 60 minutes a day, plus exercise throughout the day.
I practice never getting upset or angry at him every second of every day as well as not ever making him upset. I don't ask him to spoil me in any way, instead I spoil him with massages and compliments and other such. There's not a day that goes by where I don't enthusiastically and genuinely tell him that he's the most gorgeous man in the universe over five hundred times.
When he does give me a gift (which is very rarely, because I don't like him spending money on me), I won't shut up about how much I appreciate it.
That's all I can think of on the top of my head.
He's so amazing. I couldn't live without him. But what kills me is that he agrees with me that I don't make him as happy as he should be, so what else should I do?
It sounds to me like you're doing enough, and he hasn't actually asked you to change. He's probably not even wishing for you to lose weight or be better than him, maybe it's just your paranoia that he is going to leave you if you're not good enough. But he chose YOU! He didn't choose anyone else, so he obviously cares about you and loves you exactly the way you are, you don't need to change. You should talk to him about how you feel and be more open with him because one of the main reasons for relationships to break apart is paranoia. I'm sure if you could see yourself through his eyes, you would love yourself as he loves you. Remind yourself that you're good enough exactly the way you are because nobody could ever love him the amount that you do. Try doing something nice for him, surprise him with something really sweet, maybe buy him something he's always wanted or take him somewhere he loves to go - remind him how much you love him. Sometimes it's not about losing weight for the man you love or being more attractive or being happy, sometimes it's just about being there for them and making them happy. If he didn't love you exactly the way you are, why would you be together? Hell, why would you be engaged? Don't change yourself because you're great the way you are - one man in particular obviously thinks you are...
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Hi, what does it mean when the guy mate says, "i like you too much" over a minor situation. We do joke and flirt back and forth. Could someone help? Short and simple answers please. Thanks ever so much!
There's no explanation that can be offered because we don't know the full situation, his feelings, nor yours. You know him better than all of us, if you're not sure what he means by that then the only way to know is to ask him. Maybe he's not really a friend and he's just trying to act like you're just friends, but don't think too much into it and lose a friendship over a suspicion. It's a cliche, but the only way to know for sure is to ask him - maybe it's a misunderstanding.
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Okay, so I have a crush on this guy, but I don't know if he likes me. Tomorrow I'll be driving around with him and his family, and I just want to know. What should I do?
There's only one way to figure out if someone feels the same way as you, and that's to tell them how you feel. I say, give it a shot, see how it goes. If you don't go for it and tell him how you feel then you'll always be wondering 'what if?'. Try to figure out a good time to talk to him and tell him how you feel; it's worth the risk because without admitting how you feel there's no chance of you being together, but telling him how you feel raises your chance to a 50/50 chance of you being together. If he's as great as you think he is, it'll be worth that risk. Sometimes you have to take risks in life to either learn lessons or have new experiences, no matter how difficult it may be.
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who should i choose the one who gave me the first kiss but is a jerk and i dont love him or the one that i love he is the most handsome and perfect guy i have ever seen?
Just because someone gave you your first kiss, it doesn't mean that you belong together, it doesn't mean that you love each other. Your first is someone you smile when you remember, not someone you keep around unless you want to. Choose the person who is going to make you happy, the person who is going to support you no matter what - only you can make that decision. If you decide who you want based on other peoples' opinions, you won't truly be happy. Take some time to figure out what you want, but don't hold onto someone just because he's your first kiss when the other guy could be your last kiss. I wish you luck.
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3 months ago, my crush of 3 years started dating someone
I'm 17, F
I miss him so much sometimes, and it feels like i've gone through a breakup but he never knew how much he meant to me
i still want to be his friend, because we've been sort of friendly acquaintances for the past 2ish years, but it hurts too much to talk to him. Also his girlfriend used to be my sorta friend, but now I can hardly handle talking to her...and she's with him most of the time which makes it worse...and now i've hardly talked to her for an entire semester
Some days I feel like I'm totally over him, but a lot of days I see him or think of him, or see something that reminds me of him, and then I want to cry, or I do cry (mostly when I'm at home)
I want to talk to someone right now about it but i'm home alone and my friends are all busy studying for exams, and don't want to be interrupted...I should be studying but I can't concentrate because I miss him too much right now
Why is it taking so long? I want to be over him, I want to be able to interact with him or see him or think of him or listen to his music(he's kinda in a band) without being so upset?
Don't try to rush your feelings - getting over someone doesn't happen over night, it happens over time. There is no specific ways to get over someone, over time you just find that you think about them less and less. I think it would be best if you spend some time away from him to reflect on your feelings, it sounds like it's too difficult for you to be around him right now and as you said it's easier when you don't see him for a while. If you spent some time apart you might find that your feelings fade and you can go back to being friends.
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so I broke up with my GF over 8 months ago, she's moved on, living with someone now. I only found this out 2 weeks ago. We all 3 happen to work at the same place, although we rarely if ever see one another. I'm finding myself becoming obsessed with them. What are they doing, are they together, where are they. I hate doing these things, but, like I said it's really becoming an obsession. HELP! How do I stop this unhealthy behavior?
First of all, know that it's normal to be jealous and curious about what your ex-girlfriend is doing with her new boyfriend, but it's good that you want to nip this in the bud. Break-ups are, of course, difficult, but if you want to get over it then you first must suffer the heartbreak. Try spending some time on YOU. Spend some time going out with friends, doing things you enjoy, over time you will find yourself forgetting about her. It's a cliche, I know, but time really is a healer. Give yourself some time to heal and don't try to stop the way you feel, confront it. The more you focus on trying to recover from the relationship ending, the more you will find that you don't care what they are doing together. Spend some time on your own or around people you care about or even try to find yourself a new girl if you're ready. If you're really struggling with the break-up, you could seek professional help. This kind of thing isn't something you can just stop, it's something that improves over time. However, I am sorry that you are going through this and I hope you know you're not alone. The more you reflect on the relationship the more you will become obsessed, so find some healthy things to do to replace the unhealthy behaviour, whatever your hobby is, do that more often and go out with friends and let your heart heal.
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Question Posted Tuesday October 4 2011, 1:28 pm
i do not know how to start this but appology for this long statement. i couldn't analyze these things anymore... let me start it this way, i am married for almost two years now and i love my husband. recently, i work with this lady and i find her very attractive. the thing is i don't know if she's gay or not and sending me mixed signals. i find her going on her way just to be around me or something, used to flirt with me before (i've seen her before i worked with her), stares at me when am not looking, used to stare at me when i was talking (before) and seems to be jealous when i talk to another men (like in a friendly way, not flirty). MOST IMPORTANTLY, i wonder so much why does our coworkers watches us whenever we are around together. they look at us, literally! it seems to me that they are listening to our body language or something. i don't understand... i really don't. since i started working with her i don't remember doing any flirtatious act on her. i never have. the only thing that happened was before i worked with her. like i say 2-3 times. well anyways, all of these happened before until last night... she worked with me directly and asked me bunches of personal questions like how is my husband, where did we met, etc and etc... do i have plans going back home to my country. i said yes i do. but am looking for someone to fly with me so i won't be by myself. she said she would go, she'd love to. then later when i asked her to go out with me and my friends because my other friend is bringing another person ( i don't wanna be out of place) she said yes if i wanted her to go (said yeah i do) and asked if we go to a bar and i said nope we don't do that. we just go out shopping. she said that's cool. i just thought you want me to WORK FOR YOU (what in the world does that mean???). that really got me. i laughed it out though. i asked her number and she gave it to me. later i asked her if she wanna go out watch movie, she said it's up to us. i can see she seemed to be starting in doubt, so when i got off from work i told her she don't have to go if she don't want to and that if something would come up. i even said i really like her and she said oh really? (she said it in a deep low voice) but i didn't told her that in a romantic way. she said she'll let us know and that she's saving her money because she's going to college soon. well anyways the fact is nobody knows am bisexual but i can see that she can sense that (that am bi). well, an hour after i texted her and she seems to be not interested or something...? i asked her questions and she answers it but she's not reciprocating my point on texting her and asking her out. i just wanna know her and be friends. she's very nice in every way. gracious i must say. am attracted to her, i admit that. however, i know where i stand on my ground and i cannot act on it. did she found everything weird? is she losing interest on me or did she even have an interest with me at all?
i honestly don't know what is going on so please please please i need everybody's help here analyzing these situation. am not even understanding my own self. i wanna know what is going on with her and what does she want from me.i
First of all, nobody can tell you why the woman is acting how she is, nobody can even guess, the only person who can tell you how she is feeling or why she is doing what she is doing is her. You can't ignore a situation like this, the only option is to talk it out. If you feel like this woman could be a threat to your marriage, if you feel urges to cheat, you should definitely tell someone. This could just be because you're feel somewhat distant from your husband maybe? Maybe the way you feel towards her isn't really real, and maybe her feelings towards you aren't real, which makes worrying about the situation completely pointless. The only way to know how she feels is to confront the situation and talk it out, have a good talk about both of your feelings. It sounds like you need time to sort everything out and work out your feelings, communication is the best answer. I hope everything works out for you.
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I am 24 and a virgin and every time I go on a date with a guy, he tries to make the moves on me within an hour of knowing each other. I want to have sex, I truly, truly do, but I want it to be with someone who I've established trust with. I can't establish trust with someone within an hour of knowing them. Why does EVERY guy I go out with seem to only want to have sex with me? I am really losing hope that that "right guy" doesn't exist, that I'm not going to fall in love or establish a relationship with someone. I just don't see how it's possible. Maybe this idea of "the right person" is a construct of society? Maybe I'm not the good girl I think I am, and am actually the promiscuous type but don't realize it. Maybe I need to just lose my virginity to someone I don't know and get it over with. Why do I attract this type of energy? I'm actually somewhat awkward and weird/unique, so I really don't understand why every dating situation is so sexually powered. Am I too closed off emotionally? Maybe I don't actually want love or a relationship and just want sex? If this is the case should I just get rid of the virgin burden? I just feel like every dating situation is the same and always based on sex and I just want to understand what is happening and why, instead of just letting the same situation occur over and over and over again. Advice?
You will regret losing your virginity to a stranger a lot more than waiting to meet the right person. Someday throughout of all the horrible dates you have, you will have a great one, and it will have been worth waiting for. You said yourself you want it to be with someone you trust, and that will make it worth it in the end. You will find someone someday, I believe there's someone for everyone. I truly do. Don't give up.
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I'm seriously done with boys at this point in my life , every single boy Ik is a fuck boy
What I mean by this is that boys think it's cool to cheat on girls like they will brag about it to there friends like its somthing to be proud of . I'm annoyed and scared that I will never be able to find a buff, cute , loyal guy that I can be happy with 😔
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. You don't hate boys, you're just having a hard time believing there are any nice ones out there, it's completely normal to think that when you have a bad past with them. However, it's important that you know that not every boy is like that, one day a man will come into your life who will be cute and loyal - just the guy that you want! It's easy to assume they are all the same, but that's only the guys you know, they probably haven't matured yet. You never know who you could meet randomly when you least expect it. You will find someone someday and you will be happy; unfortunately, you have to go through a lot of heartbreak until you find the right person, but it's worth it when you meet that one guy. Forget about relationships for a while, focus on friends and family, if a boy does come alone, great! But don't make your entire life about finding love and being happy in a relationship, because even though it is great to be happy with someone, it's not worth spending your life worrying about it. It will happen when it's meant to happen. Enjoy life and live in the present instead of the future. Go out with friends and have fun! Forget about boys for a while and just get on with your life, there are more important things. Good luck.
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19/F
Iv been in a relationship for only 2 months with my boyfriend, we get along amazingly, when I'm not with him I miss him, and when I am with him I just want to stay with him all day!
But.. Iv started to become close with a guy I work with, we flirt occasionally and he knows I have a boyfriend. I was on a work night out with this guy and our other friends of course (my boyfriend was not there) and me and the guy from work ended up getting a cab together because our friends got in the other cab, we were both really drunk and flirting hard, he would try to wrap his arm around me and continued to tell me I was the best looking in the job, I told him the same, I feel really guilty because we almost kissed, I stopped it because I would never be unfaithful to my boyfriend, now when ever I'm in work I hope that we have the same shifts and I feel really guilty because I do love my boyfriend. Can anyone give me some advice to stop wanting to flirt with this boy
Flirting is cheating - it's showing attention to other people that should only be shown to one person, and acting single when you're not. I think your boyfriend has a right to know, and you should both talk about where to go from here. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but the idea of not being able to stop flirting seems ridiculous to me, if you cared about your boyfriend then no one else in the world would matter, and you wouldn't even think about anyone else. Maybe you need to think long and hard about your relationship and ask yourself if you really want to be in it. If you had a strong connection to your boyfriend, as I said, no one else would matter. It's not a case of not being able to stop, it's a case of not wanting to. If you want to flirt with men then maybe you're meant for the single life and aren't supposed to be in a relationship - that's fine! Relationships aren't meant for everyone. But you should talk to your boyfriend and find out where to go from here, and think about cutting the other guy off and not having any contact with him again. If you want to flirt with this guy despite having a boyfriend, maybe you ought to think about your feelings, maybe you have secret deep feelings for the other guy. Good luck.
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I've been going through a recent complicated break-up. The thing is I kinda rejected him because I want to get my life back together first before being in a committed relationship. I wasn't able to offer my heart back in return to this guy who loved me so purely because I got scared that the moment I say 'yes' we'd be in a really serious relationship. And the thought of being in a serious relationship scared me. I got scared and I made a stupid mistake by talking to it with another guy friend. And it almost felt like I cheated on him, he felt like I cheated. And now he's not in love with me anymore and that it's impossible for us to be together again. Which hurt so bad.
I know all of that's kinda convoluted, but long story short, I'm hurt because I hurt the one guy who's never done anything but love me so purely and see the best in me by being a stupid and weak girl. What if he's the one for me, what if I blew the chance to be with my soulmate? What if I never meet anyone who will love me as much as he did? I can't get over the pain and the loneliness no matter what I do.
I know I've made a mistake too. But I'm not aiming to get back together with him, because he's already said it's impossible. Now he just wants to be friends with me because he knows we're really close and he doesn't want to lose that and he said that I don't deserve to be abandoned completely. What should I do to get over him and forgive myself? I'm really sorry it was really long. Thank you to anyone who will help.
First of all, it's so important that you know that you haven't done anything wrong. Whatever happened with this other guy doesn't mean anything, you were not committed with this guy, you were not in a relationship, therefore it is not cheating (I'm sorry, you weren't clear about this other lad and what happened with him, but from what you said it sounds like you just spoke to him, which is far from cheating and should not be punished). If you're now friends he has clearly forgiven you, it's you, you haven't forgiven yourself - you need to! Everybody makes mistakes, everybody will do something in relationships they regret at least once in their life, once if their lucky! Don't be so hard on yourself, you don't deserve to beat yourself up and feel guilty all the time. It's not completely ruled out that you could give it a go in the future, you could both mature and decide to give it a go, never say never! It may not be too late. If you speak to him about how you feel about what you did, maybe he can understand and know that you would never do that again.
Also, I don't believe in ''blowing a chance with your soul mate'' - I know it sounds cliché, but if it's meant to be, it will be. And it's not too late for it to 'be', if he really is your soul mate then some how, some way, some day, you will be reunited. You clearly have issues with commitment, am I right? So maybe your relationship would have suffered, anyway. Please don't take this the wrong way, but when you're not open to commitment you can't be happy in a relationship, it would have taken a lot of work and even then maybe you still wouldn't be happy.
On the topic of getting over him, time is the best healer (which is also cliché, but also true). After a while to get your head around everything and being open to meeting new people, you may find eventually that you're over him and that the next man in your life may treat you even better and do things that he couldn't. Maybe he isn't your soul mate, maybe he is just supposed to be a friend, or a life lesson. I don't think you can just 'get over someone' like that, I'm afraid. But you can tell him how you feel, which will either end well or badly - either way, you have been able to get out your feelings, and sometimes that's all it takes. Sometimes when you get it out and say it out loud you feel better, and all your feelings just seem silly after that! (Even though your feelings are extremely valid, of course. Again, please don't take that the wrong way).
If it's meant to be, it will be. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're clearly a sweet person and I hope everything turns out well for you. Good luck!
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A few weeks ago I was catfished and I was speaking to this girl for so long I fell in love with her, ever since I've had nightmares and paranoia and haven't been able to move on because i feel like every girl i get attached to is going to be lying to me. People have told me that people who get cafished are stupid and im starting to believe it. Am i just stupid for believing this girls lies or is it possible i am genuinely hurt by this and suffering from the pain or am i just being stupid?
First of all, you're definitely not being stupid, how you're feeling is completely understandable and lots of people have been through it, you are definitely not alone. As you may have seen on 'Catfish: The TV Show' many people Catfish for different reasons, and you always see the reaction of the person that has been Catfished; they don't laugh and say ''oh well'', they cry and open up about how hurt they are. If being cheated on and lied to is hurtful, then how on earth is the 'love of your life' pretending to be someone their not and not even existing not hurtful? Never mind other people's opinions - if it upsets you, then it's valid, you can't be expected not to feel upset! This girl obviously meant a lot to you, and she betrayed you, you're having the same feelings as someone who would cheat on you - it's completely normal! I have heard of people saying ''it's not possible to be Catfished, if you don't see the signs then it's your own fault'', too. It's not true, you can't possibly know for a fact whether someone is lying or not, sometimes you get so blinded by your feelings for this person that you don't really care, you don't think it's possible for this girl to hurt you, and then when she does it hurts, like hell. I get it.
Second of all, paranoia is completely normal, we've all been there (and if you haven't then you will, one day). Bad relationships can make you extremely worried and paranoid that the next person will do the exact same, you're only human, don't expect yourself to heal so quickly, don't be so hard on yourself. Your feelings are completely normal. With all that said, what's done is done, you cannot change the past, you can't go back in time and stop yourself from sending that first message to this girl, all you can do is move forward, and you can't do that whilst looking back. You clearly still care for her, and no one can expect you to move on and be happy with someone else, emotional wounds take time to heal, it's such a shame it's the good guys that get hurt (the same goes for girls, of course). I know it's not always the good ones, but when it is, it's a shame, because they don't deserve it at all. Remember that one day you will meet the love of your life, she will be beautiful, smart, funny, kind, 100% real, everything you want in a woman! By moving on from her, you're making room for this better person to come along into your life, and when she does, you will be like '[Catfisher's name] who?' and completely forget who she even is! One day, you will meet a girl that makes you think ''all those times I was hurt were worth it''. Good luck, and I hope things get better for you!
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20, female
Last January or February I hooked up with my friend (lets call him John) at a party, and neither of us ever brought it up later or talked about it. I thought that it was just because we were both drunk, but now I don't really know. My roommate was telling me how she always thought that John had a thing for me because he's always been kind of flirty, but I've always just brushed it off. I've noticed it, but I've kind of just ignored it or thought it wasn't that big of a deal.
A couple weeks ago, John had a small party at his house with a bunch of our friends. He kept flirting with me like usual, but then later we were sitting on the couch together and he put his arm around me. I was pretty tipsy at that point and was leaning on his shoulder, and he was like stroking my hair. Nothing happened that night, but then last week I saw him at school and he asked if he could come over to my place. We were just talking about summer and school and stuff for a little bit, and then he brought up last February when we hooked up. I didn't know what to do or say because that was so long ago, and I'm not really that good about talking about things like that. But basically he was like remember that one time, and then told me it was his first kiss. I didn't know what to say, so I was kind of just like ohhh aww.
I feel bad because I think I've been leading him on this whole time. Ugh I don't know. I'm scared that he actually really likes me because why else would he bring something up from over nine months ago? I can't stop thinking about it and him. I really don't know what I want or anything, and I honestly have no time for any type of relationship. I don't know what to do!
Am I totally just over-analyzing this all, or do y'all think he does really like me? What do I do? Because after we hooked up way back, I literally just avoided him for a month and that got me nowhere lol.
You shouldn't feel guilty, if you don't have feelings for him, that's not your fault. It's been ages since you hooked up, and you never told him that you had any feelings for him whatsoever, right? So you haven't lead him on. You can't help it if you don't like him, and I'm sure he will understand that, too. Maybe you should just tell him straight up, or if you're not comfortable with that then give him hints that you like someone else or hints that you just see him as a friend. Sometimes people can think you're leading them on when you're not even trying to, when you don't even notice it - how can you stop or avoid it when you don't even notice it? It's such a complicated situation, but you can't be expected to go along with acting like this to spare his feelings or anything like that. Maybe he just needs the straight up truth, because the longer he leaves these hints the more awkward it will become when you try to be friends, or when you decide to tell him you don't want to be with him/don't feel the same way about him.
It does seem like he likes you, I don't think you'd bring up something that happened a long time ago unless you were thinking about it a lot,and he wouldn't think about it a lot unless he had feelings for you. The only thing left to do is to talk to him, because the sooner he knows the better. Good luck.
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a boy at school who I like asked me by message if I wanted to go out with him
my mum thinks im too young but I want to say yes what should I do
im 11 btw
I can see where your mum is coming from, however I can also see where you are coming from. In school you will have a lot of experiences with relationships, it's not very likely that this boy will be the love of your life, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't go for it. Being in relationships at quite a young age can be good for you, it can teach you a lot. If you like him, then you should go for it. Even though you are young and it's important that you are mature in your relationship and don't do anything you don't want to do, lots of people get into relationships at your age, and as long as they are responsible, it doesn't affect them. Make sure that you do what you want and only what you want, don't let him force or pressure you into anything you don't want to do. You're young, have fun! You'll go through many guys before you find 'the one', this is just experimenting with relationships, and that's fine. At your age, you will be curious and your feelings will be all over the place, it's all down to you, if you like this guy, then why not?
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Okay so I've had the biggest crush on this girl for almost a year. She is so cute and perfect. I haven't told her anything because first of all, I don't think she's into girls. She's 3 years younger than me and I know it would not work out. I guess I have just held on to the little hope that she might be into me too because there had been occasions where she would blush when we would talk. Or when she asked me if I had a boyfriend randomly. Or when she would try to hang with me as much as possible but then again, maybe it was all in my head that maybe a wonderful girl like her would like me back. Anyway, I need to get over her. I just don't know how. I don't go to the same school as her anymore but I still have her on social media. I'm constantly checking up on her (not In a creepy way, maybe a little, kidding.) I think it's time for me to move on. I'm just hurting myself over and over again. She probably has no idea that I have a huge crush on her. It's kind of pathetic, I know. So any advice on how to get over someone that I never even dated? Thank you.
Before you get over her, tell her how you feel, and make sure that you are not letting someone go that could be something more. You don't know unless you try, and you could be trying to get over someone who is waiting for you to tell them how you feel. For a while, just forget age and how the relationship wouldn't work, I strongly believe that as long as you like each other, the things getting in the way won't matter any more. If she responds telling you she likes you, too, then great! Have fun, treat her right, spend time with her, do whatever you can for her. If she replies saying she doesn't want to be with you, it will hurt, of course, but it will finally give you the closure you need. If you find out that she doesn't feel the same way, then you should remove her from everything, for a start. Whatever social networking websites you have her on, delete her on every single one, and explain to her that you need to move on. Constantly checking up on her on social media makes your feelings even stronger and even worse. Having nothing to do with her with lead you to finally find that you don't think about her as much, and then you'll find, eventually, that you are over her, and maybe you'll meet someone else! Sometimes, you don't need to get over someone, you need to find out if they feel the same. I hope everything goes well for you, and I hope this is a happy ending. Good luck!
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My girlfriend and I have had an intimate long distance relationship for nearly three months. We constantly drown each other in compliments, and I help her with her depression whenever I can. My problem is that I don't know if I'm bothering her. I'm constantly doubting myself, which I'm not sure if it bothers her cause she never tells me if she's mad at me. And when I'm courageous with her, I don't know if I take things too far. Other little things like messing up my words and saying the wrong things make me wonder if she even loves me anymore, or if she's slowly drifting away which I NEVER want to happen. I just want to know how I can be more "manly" for her, to keep her interested in the man in me. Thank you
The problem is, you're trying to change for her, you don't want to do that. If this girl is your 'soul mate', the person you're supposed to end up with, then she will love you for you, and she won't want you to change. You're assuming all this without even asking her first. She obviously fell in love with you, the you that she knows, so if you change she may have to fall in love with you all over again. Just talk to her, and ask her to be honest with you. It sounds like you're not very secure in this relationship, and it's a shame because it sounds like you have a good, healthy relationship. You said you drown eachother in compliments, would she do that if she wasn't in love with you anymore? No! You're overthinking, by the sound of it, you're trying to be better for her and what you need to know is that you're already good enough for her, you don't need to be better. Sometimes you'll say the wrong thing, who doesn't? She will have at least done that once before, too. Don't sit and assume things because that will mess you up, if you don't hear it from her that she's not in love with you anymore, then just assume everything is going smoothly - because until she says it, it's not true.
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I have this friend... my best friend, actually. Karlyn is her name. From the moment I met her, I felt something more than just friendship. It vaguely resembled love, but I didn't know exactly, and didn't want to face it, so I suppressed the feeling, not knowing that Karlyn was dealing with the same thing: Karlyn loved me.
It wasn't until after I experienced a bad relationship with another girl that I realized how I felt about her in full: I was in love with her. I confessed to her shortly afterward, and she told me she felt the same and had for a long time. However, she had lied; while she had at one point felt the same, she'd gotten over me when I was in the other relationship. Now, she's interested in some other guy, and I don't wanna lose her. I love her so much and I want her to be mine so... how do I rekindle those feelings she used to have? How do I make her fall back in love with me...?
You can't make someone fall back in love with you, they either do or they don't. If it's meant to be, it will be, if it's not then it won't. Eventually, if her feelings for you really did mean something, she may find that she is still in love with you, but until then, you cannot make her fall back in love with you. It's so difficult being in love with your best friend because you have the fear of losing them, but it sounds like you have a really strong friendship, and if it is as strong as it seems then you won't lose it, because she obviously cares about you a great deal and it's clear that you care about her, too.
Unfortunately, there's not much to do in this situation - I guess you have to make a choice: fight for her, let her go, or remain friends. If it's too hard for you to be around her because of your feelings then I would suggest letting her go, but sometimes it's best just to have someone in your life even just as friends, because then you can still see and spend time with them. It all depends on how you feel about it, whether you think it would be worth fighting for her or not.
You said you don't want to lose her, so I'd say tell her how you feel, if she insists that she doesn't have feelings for you then stay friends, because that way, there is still a chance, because she could realize that she does actually have feelings for you. However, if you fight for her there is a chance that it could end badly and then you won't even be friends.
Let what's meant to happen, happen. Don't force fate, let it run it's course.
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