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Can being catfished traumatise you?


Question Posted Wednesday October 21 2015, 8:49 pm

A few weeks ago I was catfished and I was speaking to this girl for so long I fell in love with her, ever since I've had nightmares and paranoia and haven't been able to move on because i feel like every girl i get attached to is going to be lying to me. People have told me that people who get cafished are stupid and im starting to believe it. Am i just stupid for believing this girls lies or is it possible i am genuinely hurt by this and suffering from the pain or am i just being stupid?

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supermood answered Wednesday October 21 2015, 9:09 pm:
First of all, you're definitely not being stupid, how you're feeling is completely understandable and lots of people have been through it, you are definitely not alone. As you may have seen on 'Catfish: The TV Show' many people Catfish for different reasons, and you always see the reaction of the person that has been Catfished; they don't laugh and say ''oh well'', they cry and open up about how hurt they are. If being cheated on and lied to is hurtful, then how on earth is the 'love of your life' pretending to be someone their not and not even existing not hurtful? Never mind other people's opinions - if it upsets you, then it's valid, you can't be expected not to feel upset! This girl obviously meant a lot to you, and she betrayed you, you're having the same feelings as someone who would cheat on you - it's completely normal! I have heard of people saying ''it's not possible to be Catfished, if you don't see the signs then it's your own fault'', too. It's not true, you can't possibly know for a fact whether someone is lying or not, sometimes you get so blinded by your feelings for this person that you don't really care, you don't think it's possible for this girl to hurt you, and then when she does it hurts, like hell. I get it.

Second of all, paranoia is completely normal, we've all been there (and if you haven't then you will, one day). Bad relationships can make you extremely worried and paranoid that the next person will do the exact same, you're only human, don't expect yourself to heal so quickly, don't be so hard on yourself. Your feelings are completely normal. With all that said, what's done is done, you cannot change the past, you can't go back in time and stop yourself from sending that first message to this girl, all you can do is move forward, and you can't do that whilst looking back. You clearly still care for her, and no one can expect you to move on and be happy with someone else, emotional wounds take time to heal, it's such a shame it's the good guys that get hurt (the same goes for girls, of course). I know it's not always the good ones, but when it is, it's a shame, because they don't deserve it at all. Remember that one day you will meet the love of your life, she will be beautiful, smart, funny, kind, 100% real, everything you want in a woman! By moving on from her, you're making room for this better person to come along into your life, and when she does, you will be like '[Catfisher's name] who?' and completely forget who she even is! One day, you will meet a girl that makes you think ''all those times I was hurt were worth it''. Good luck, and I hope things get better for you!

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