about

I'm a photography major at a community college. I love music, fashion, art, my friends, books, films, theatre...and vampires. Ask me anything. I especially like questions about my opinions on something and questions that aren't even asking for advice.

advice

Ok I am a 18/f and I just recently started a new job and I met this guy there who is 24 and we hit it off quite nicely but I found out he is ENGAGED!!So he invited me to go out with him a couple days later just "as friends"and we went out to dinner with some of his friends and we ended up holding hands in his car.And we had a talk later and we both agreed it felt right.In that same talk he said that he regretted proposing to his fiancee and hes going to break up with her but he wants the timing to be right because he wants them to end on good terms(which i understand)and so we decided we would just be friends and then when he ends it with her we would casually date and go from there.Well,a couple nights ago he called me up and i told him i was going somewhere and we would meet up there so he met me there and we ended up kissing...SEVERAL times.And we talked about it later and he said that the timing was a mistake.He didnt want us to kiss in a car and stuff like that.What I dont get is why is he waiting so long to break up with his fiancee?they have been together 3 years but he said he was going to break up with her after christmas and its now almost march!I know hes interested because we work together and hes ALWAYS looking at me and calling my work phone and stuff like that but I dont understand what is taking him so long and I am REALLY hung up on him too.He took me out at my most vulnerable time because the night he took me out,i broke up with my ex-boyfriend of 2 years.And I want to hang out with him more outside of work but he said he doesnt want to because he doesnt want me to get to close and then get hurt if it doesnt work out...WTF?but he met up and kissed me???So I need some advice on if hes actually interested in me and why hes acting like this....

Put some space between the two of you until he makes up his mind. Keep in mind how his fiancee must feel. This guy obviously doesn't know what he wants. You should never leave the one you love for the one you like, that's probably what he's realizing right about now.

[view]

like all the guys ive liked my friends always say like "eww" too and im like whats so "eww" about it?? why do people always do that? well most of the time. i mean, its not like the guys are disgusto or geeks or whatever.

Most of the time your friends don't want to hear a ton about the people you like because they get annoyed, etc. Understandable, I think. So just don't talk about them unless they ask. And if they say "ew", tell them to shut the fuck up because you like them and that's all that matters.

[view]

1) so there's this guy and he's 17 yrs.old and i'm 14..i'll be turning 15 in october! would that be considered rape if we went out?[boyfriend girlfriend]

2) he's been sending me mixed messages online because we've been talking. i'm pretty sure he likes me though.[he got kept back 3 times so he's a sophmore] and i'm a freshmen] so if he sees me @ school we'll hug but he won't talk to me. i don't mind though because i think both of us are trying to keep our feelings on the "down low" so what should i do? he asked me for a kiss and i said yes,,, but i'm scared because this will be my 1st kiss and i'm pretty sure he's expecting it on the lips. so should i do it? and we'll be seeing eachother tonight @ the skating rink. i was thinking of dodging him.. but should i ??

i know this was very confusing to understand.. but please answer. thanx in advance.

1] Rape is when someone forces you to have sex with them. Being in a relationship with someone is completely different from being forced to have sex. So...no. Age difference, whatever, not a big deal.

2] Don't rely on the internet as a reliable way to communicate, you can't see the person's facial expressions or body language or hear their tone of voice, therefore you can't tell what their attitude is about whatever you're talking about. As far as giving mixed messages, older guys who like younger girls tend to be kind of ashamed of the fact that the girl is so much younger. Trust me, I know.

All in all, do whatever you feel most comfortable with, what you feel is right, what you want to do. Good luck.

[view]

How do you let go of someone that you absolutely love, but they don't want you anymore?

You just move on. Spend a lot of time with your friends, keep yourself busy, let it go. You'll be better than ever before, eventually. Trust me.

[view]

ok, so my friend likes this guy right.. and at one of our skool dances, i asked him if he liked her and he was all idunno ... i guess.. he gave her a huge hug at the end of the dance, and she is like soooo excited!
So i guess my question is.. how can i find out if he likes her.. like without being a pest to them..??
thx in advance!!!
~~

That's something for your friend and the guy to work out, not you. Just a word of advice, if she asks you to talk to him for you, his first impression of her will be that she's too immature and insecure to talk to him herself and probably a little weirded out. Trust me, don't do it. Also, if he hugged her, it doesn't necessarily mean anything. I mean, I have a ton of guy friends and hug pretty much all of them every time I see them. Don't overanalyze it.

[view]

What are you supposed to do after a guy kisses you? Do you just sit there and don't say anything?

It'll all make sense when it actually happens. I promise. Don't worry.

[view]

I'm really scared for my friend, she's going out with a guy who is like WAY older than her! SERIOUSLY OLDER by like, EIGHT or NINE years! well at least that's what she told me she might not REALLY be going out with him, she does lie a lot to get attention, but please i need advice to give 2 her

If she's happy then leave her alone.

[view]

I have a huge crush and he doesnt feel the same but I really want to be closer friends anyway. He doesnt like going places where he's the only guy so it has to be a group thing. What do you think we should do? I always thought of me having a holiday party and having a sevcret santa and "secretly" giving him me.He also loves the jets so I thought a couple of friends and I could go to the game. I really want something fun that can show him that i'm a fun, cute, sweet girl. Any suggestions?

AS A GROUP (definitely since he hates being the only guy in certain situations): go to a concert, the Jets game like you said, watch a movie or have a TV marathon night, play ghost in the graveyard or capture the flag (or stupud kid-ish stuff like that because it's actually fun even though you're probably older), go shopping, etc. Talk to him a lot and get to know him better when you're hanging out in a group and eventually maybe he'll want to hang out with just you. Don't hang on him or act desperate though, okay? Okay. Good luck and have fun, kiddo.

[view]

1. he`s tall. i`m short .
2. I never see him in the halls.
3.he has blonde hair. i have brown hair.

should i ask him out or not?

ashlei

Um. Well...the fact that you two look different shouldn't keep you from asking him out. I mean...most people do not look exactly the same. Did you know that?

[view]

ok so i really want to ask this girl out to home coming but i dont know how and creative ideas??

-16 male

Creatively...hmmm. I've heard various stories. Like sometimes people decorate the person they want to ask's locker with a romantic note asking them. One of my sister's friends wrapped himself up in Christmas tree lights and plugged them in, then when the girl he was asking came to the window he said "You light up my life!! Will you go to homecoming with me?" My friend asked his girlfriend by decorating her room in roses and then came out of her closet with a bouquet of roses and asked her. Stuff like that. Be creative.


P.S. You'll probably have to consult with the girl/guy's parents if any of your plans to ask them involve being in their room or surprising them or something. Plan AHEAD because if it's like last second then it probably won't work out and it'll piss her/his parents off too.

[view]

Hi. My boyfriend just recently left for college.. It's 2 hours away and I don't know whats going to happen. I don't know what to think. I am just really confused about everything. Please help me out if you have been to college and know what i am talking about. or if your in the same situation.

Hi. I know how you feel. Lots of things like that are happening all over the world right now with kids our age. We're all going to different schools, on trips, working like crazy...basically, it's September and that means that we're all going our seperate ways once again. It sucks, I know it does. I experienced it for the first time my freshman year in high school when my best friend went off to college. I cried for like two days because I realized this is how it has to be with a lot of my friends pretty much every fall from now on. Because that's when you know you're growing up. Everyone has seperate lives and seperate goals. My ex-boyfriend (...well, actually, it's complicated) is leaving in two weeks to go to Africa for nine months. That's going to (pardon my French) fucking suck when he leaves. One of my best friends went back to school a few weeks ago. A lot of my friends from work that I spent the whole summer with all went back to school and we all go to different schools. Yeah, it stinks. But it's going to happen a lot from now on because everyone is constantly changing. You're going to have to learn how to let people go and take them back. I'd suggest that you focus on your own goals. Hang out with your boyfriend when he's in town for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Spring Break. Talk to him on the phone, email him, write him letters. Hang out with your friends that are still here. Just have fun, go to school and enjoy life. You'll get used to so much change and everything will be okay. :)

[view]

Why don't most girls like it when guys say that they are hot. Isn't that a compliment? What's the big deal?

Some girls would rather be called beautiful. Or if they don't like the guy at all then they might freak out about it. I took it as a compliment when my boyfriend called me hot but I was happier when he said I was beautiful or something a little deeper.

[view]

Well me and my boyfriend have been going out for quite awhile now hes going to the army and ina few days hes leaving for three months i dont know what to do im gunna be devasted any help?

Well, if it makes you feel any better, my boyfriend is leaving for 9 months to Africa. Well, does it? Anyway, keep yourself really really busy and spend a lot of time with your friends and family. Work towards your own goals and keep in touch with him. Everything will be fine, I'm sure it will. If you need someone to talk to then IM me kkkermiiit.

[view]


I had my boyfriend over one day. We were watching a movie. And I can't stay still during a movie... that's not of my interest.

And besides that, my dad suddenly got into a discussion with him about speakers.

And it seemed like they're rather talk alone... So I left the room for a few minutes to go on the computer.

Later, I found out that offended my boyfriend. He wanted to hold me and when I suddenly left to go on the computer. He somewhat felt the computer was more important than him.

What I did ... was that really rude?
I apologized, but I don't know...
What else could I do?

He means everything to me.

That was really rude. Even if he's having a conversation with your dad, he came over to see you...so don't leave the room to go on the computer. Stupid move.

[view]

I'm currently in a relationship. And i think i'm in love... But how can i tell? What the signs that a girl's in love?

You just...know. Really, that's what happens.

[view]

okay, well im 14 years old, turning 15 in a month. i've been with my boyfriend now for a little more than 11 months. and me and my friends were in my town the other night, and we saw these 3 really hot kids and we gave them our numbers. and they called us and we hung out that night. then the next day all my girl friends, and all the guys we met went to the movies. im going into 9th grade, and the guys we met are going into 11th. one of the guys likes me, and i think about him alot, and im scared im starting to like him too. he told me he likes me and he asked if he should like stick around. i mean idk what to do. its not fair to my boyfriend. so please please please help me!

Never leave the one you love for the one you like.

[view]

i was just wondering. why do wifes give in or obay thier husbands. i know some girls say they don't but iv'e noticed that they do.

i've just noticed that my mom and sister normally give in to their husbands wants or wishes like when my stepdad wants somthing he gets it but when i want somthing i dont or she'll make food for him but not for me or somtimes she excuses his bad behavoirs and dosnt excuse mine. ive also noticed both my mom and sister give in to thier fights and let thier husbands win just so there wont be a big fight even though they know there right and i just wanna know why. what makes them do that? how come they say they wont but then do? could someone please help

thanks

Because it's Biblical that the father is the head of the household. God rules over the father and the fater rules over his wife and children. I know it sounds sexist but it's just historically correct, as Eve was made out of Adam's rib. They are equal as people but in a family, the father is in charge.

[view]

so I have 2 boyfriends. I'm not a hoe like you would think. I mean I'm nothing like that. but the first boy I am going out with I am prob going to dump after his birthday which is tomorrow. cuz there's too many things. i really don't like rude guys and he's rude. and then my other boyfriend i just started to go out with yesterday. i know i'm doing the wrong thing but i know that i'm prob gonna dump him. it's not that i want the other guy it's just i dont like my first boyfriend anymore. i'm sorry but i'm not sure what to say to him. please help me. thank you.

If you have two boyfriends then sorry, yes you are a hoe. And if you're so ready and willing to dump them then you really are a skank. Tell them both what you did and end your relationship with both of them...and don't date anyone until you get your priorities straight.

[view]

This is going to be really long, so please stick with me.

Last week, I found out that my boyfriend was flirting with someone that hangs out where his sister works. I was kinda sorta okay with it, since I know that he means nothing by it and its just his personality. But then one of my cousins went to go get her hair done by his sister while he was there. My boyfriend doesn't know my cousin. Well, this girl was really like seriously flirting with him and he was just trying to tell her that he loved me and would never cheat on me and to stop flirting and all. But she didn't stop.

Well I'm death in one ear, and 50% in the other, so when I talk on the phone, I can only hear what the person who is talking on the phone is saying. Well, he called me and she (the slut) was flirting with him and yada-yada. And I heard her say, "If you didn't have a girlfriend, you know you would want to hit this" and he said, "Yes, but I have a girlfriend and I love her and wouldn't want to hurt her" Well then she said, "even if you did?" and he said "never"
Do you think he will cheat on me with this girl?

Okay, well he goes to "trivia night" at a place around here with his sister, her husband and their friends and that girl went. Well, they ran out of chairs and she sat in my boyfriends lap. He didn't do anything about it.

Well, we had this really long talk about it and he said he wants to marry me and he loves me and never wants to hurt me again.

I told him that I called the girl and she said that he kissed her and he made her sit in his lap and he was always flirting never her. (I lied, I've never talked to this girl) He got really mad and upset about it. Well, a lot of rumurs go around about him and he said that I never believed any of the other rumours why should I belive this one? So, does that mean that my lie is really what he did? Or did he really not do anything?

He said he would never talk to her again, and I believe him. Just, do you think that what I lied about was the truth? Is that why he got so mad about it?

Please help, I really love him and don't want to loose him.

He is always telling me I'm the best thing that ever happened to him and he never wants to loose me, and when I talked about breaking up with him he got really scared and cryed. I'm just really confused. Please, help. Thanks.

You have to keep in mind that anything "the slut" (nice nickname for her, she sounds like one haha) says is probably a lie or exaggeration to make you feel jealous or to get you to dump your boyfriend. So don't listen to her. If he says that he loves you and wouldn't cheat on you, he probably won't. But if he's still agreeing with the slut when she says things like "if you didn't have a girlfriend, you know you would want to hit this" it's still innapropriate and you have every right to be pissed off. Tell him this.

[view]

I curentally live with my boyfriend and his great family. Everything is great except I wonder one thing, he is 19 years old and anytime we go anywhere he mom calls to see where we are and when we are going to be home, he also cant go a day without talking to her, and can never stand up for himself when she says no. She also calls him habebe whichs means "my baby", and she says she dosent like it when he is out late. I understand she is worried but he is 19 years old and I thought at 19 they would be a man. Mabye I am wrong but I was thinking of marring this guy because he is the love of my life but I dont wanna marry someone who is attached to there mother and can never grow up and be a man. Mabye its just me But i would really love any advice anyone can give me! Thank yOU!!

She sounds just a little bit posessive or whatever, but if he's over 18 and lives with his parents, he needs to obey their rules and treat his parents with respect.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker