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Does my boyfriend need to grow up?
I curentally live with my boyfriend and his great family. Everything is great except I wonder one thing, he is 19 years old and anytime we go anywhere he mom calls to see where we are and when we are going to be home, he also cant go a day without talking to her, and can never stand up for himself when she says no. She also calls him habebe whichs means "my baby", and she says she dosent like it when he is out late. I understand she is worried but he is 19 years old and I thought at 19 they would be a man. Mabye I am wrong but I was thinking of marring this guy because he is the love of my life but I dont wanna marry someone who is attached to there mother and can never grow up and be a man. Mabye its just me But i would really love any advice anyone can give me! Thank yOU!!
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is he an only child? that might be why his mom is so attached to him. she doesn't want to let him go. be nice to his mom and give her time to realize how nice you are. who knows, she could be your mother-in-law!
♥jen
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Yes, your boyfriend does need to grow up. However, he does live with his mother. So therefore, she can lock the doors in her house at a certain time at night and that's probably why he has to be home at a certain time. When you and him get a house yourselves, he will have no more excuses or no reason to follow his mom's orders.
But for now, you both live under her roof, which means you go by her rules. If you're tired of him not being able to say no and following his mom's schedule, then find a place of your own with him.
-TheTeenGirl
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ok if you have not already tried go talk to him tell him how you feel i guess tell him that he is 19 years old and he can still see his mom and talk to her but that he has his own life he needs to start without his mom help him stand up to his mom then if he still cant get over his mom you might have to make him choose but just remember noguy is worth the pain unless they are the love of your life so make sure he is the love of your life also try talking to his mom just sit her down and tell her that you know she is worried about him but that she needs to let her son go he has his own life and he needs to get it started now this was kind of coplicated qestion or me but if i am any help to you at all please spread the word about me i'm am sorry if i did not help
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A nineteen year old who lives at home is not a man. Very few nineteen year olds are men yet, no matter where they live.
I am twenty-one and when I stay at home or live there for a month or two, I call my mother so she knows where I will be and when I will be back. I speak to her everyday and I back down when she says no, because it's her house, I'm just adult who lives in it happily rent free. The house is hers, so the rules are hers.
If anything, being nineteen in your parents home doesn't mean you have more freedom, it means you have more responsibility and higher expectations. Your boyfriend's mother clearly expects your boyfriend to be a responsible young adult who lives at home and therefore is required to be considerate to those he lives with and obedient to those who support him. Sure, a nineteen year old should be able to go a day or two with speaking to their mother, but if you live with her that might just not happen.
Would you rather marry a man who is rude to his mother? Feels no need to call when he will be out late? Doesn't care what other people's opinion is?
If anything, take a clue from your boyfriend's behavior. He is the perfect person to live with, considerate, responsible and understanding of his position in the household.
So my advice: It's just you. You shouldn't be in rush to get married anyways, so give your boyfriend time to grow up into a man. Sounds to me like he is well on his way to becoming a pretty good one.
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Well...You just need to talk to him alone...and tell him to Spend more time with you and tell him to be a little independent because when he is like 22 the problem is going to get work and when he has problems with you or other friends or something he is going to ask his mother for a solution and he is going to be alot ATTCHED to his mom!!! So tell him to be a little Independent and tell him that he is a MAN and to let go of his mom a nd form a family with you!!!!!!
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Yes I think is mother is a little too over protective and clingy but it sounds like he doesnt mind. If he cant stand up for himself, I mean honestly where is that going ot get him?
I think you should talk to him about this situation and tell him how it has an effect on your relationship you know?
<3
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She sounds just a little bit posessive or whatever, but if he's over 18 and lives with his parents, he needs to obey their rules and treat his parents with respect.
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