about

I joined this site when I was very young (hence the ridiculous username) but now I feel I'mn old enough to give out advice.

Ask me anytime. I have had my fair shares of family issues, as well as good at solving relationship problems.

advice

So my question is the one below this with my bf and I for 3 years.

You really gave good advice and its comforting when you know your not the only one going through something this horrible.

I'm just in a limbo right now because he hasn't tried to see me/bailed last night by just not texting me back when we had plans. And then said sorry he fell asleep. And I said I understood. Wish I saw him more and told him I loved him. He didn't respond :/ I'm freaking out because it kinda seems like he doesn't care at all. And I hate not knowing. Like what are we gonna do for new years? Are we still exchanging gifts? But I'm sick of texting him because it leads to disappointment. He said he wanted to make it work and try again last weds...but now it seems like I'm disposable to him and he could care less about me? :/ I feel like I'm close to losing him forever. I want to talk to him so bad. But he barely responds and stuff. Plus I have no idea if I'm still going to the game with him on new years? He invited me on Fri? :( I'm so stressed out. And I just want to be happy and confident knowing that things will work out. But I feel like if we break up we won't get back together this time. :/ plus its the holidays :/ please help :(

Yes we are so in the same situation.
I've been in it twice now.


When they don't respond it really feels like they don't care, it feels like you are going to lose them forever.

You go crazy, you get a little insecure. Don't be. You had 3 lovely years together, come on, he loves you! Those feelings don't disappear, those feelings are not going to change.

Recently me and my boyfriend have spoken, but if he hasn't spoken to you it doesn't mean he doesn't care. He made the decision to end it with you - he has to ride it out and see what it feels like to be alone, to make a mistake - to realise that he made a mistake in ending it with you. I guarantee you, take my word for it, I bet he is going crazy, but he is trying to do the right thing and give you both space.

There might be a little bit of mind games going on there. It's tempting to do so with someone vunerable but I don't know what he is like.

I'm going to be alone on new years :( But don't go chasing him, honestly. It sounds cheesy but he will come back, he just needs time to think and realise what he has done. If he cannot be assed to even let you know what is going on for New years - dont go making the effort. You aren't in a relationship, you aren't required to do so.

Don't get over him, that's not what I am saying but he ended it with you. You've got to prove to yourself that you can be on your own ( whether you like it or not is another matter) You need to be strong for yourself.

I am the same. I really want to know things are going to work out and I am inpatient but there are some things you just cannot rush. You gotta let it run it's natural course, your relationship is no more, you have to accept it for now and spend some time on yourself.

I don't know why he bailed but I can tell you I bailed on my boyfriend. I was too scared to see him, it was too early, so instead of thinking he doesn't give a shit, maybe he just can't handle seeing you.

There are so many should of would of could ofs and as much as it's nice to hear them from each other it only sugar coats your issues.

If you want to talk to him, then do so. But I know why you want to. You want to see if he is missing you, if he is upset, you want him to say all the things you want to hear. And after you have found out those answers then what?

I honestly truly believe that true love lives on and you two will work it out. He is still going to be there 3 months down the line, don't worry, you are the best thing to happen to him! He knows it too.

Sounds cheesy but give it time.
If you need to talk to him, then do so
just don't depend in him emotionally because you feel alone.

Like I said situate yourself around good people who care about you and you will be surprised just how much you can be ok by yourself for the time being.

Message me and keep me updated!

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So me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 years. We've had our off and on moments and a lot of it had to do with drug abuse on his side. I really care about him a lot and would leave when he began doing that but would come back when he had been clean for a while and began talking to me again. He finally seeked help and has been doing good for about 4 months. He got into what he wants to do for his profession and I think its helping him stay clean cause he doesnt feel like a loser. We've been long distance for about 2 years now and live about 5 hours away. We are both 22.

Well he came to visit me this week and it was really good for most of it. I felt bad cause I had to work some nights and since we were gonna ride back home together (we are long distance cause im in college) he didn't have a car. Without a car he was stuck at home. But what he wants to do for a career is on the computer anyways and he said he didn't mind and was just glad to see me. The last day is when we started the horrible argument. Something changed with the stocks (what he wants to do) and he was really antsy to get home and kept asking to leave the day early. I realize now that I should have just said okay, but when he first brought it up...it didn't seem like it really mattered. So I reminded him that we made plans with a friend up there for that night. We ended up fighting the ENTIRE day about it. We would argue, one of us would leave the room and then he would come back and hug me and say he loves me. It was like a cycle. But we ended up really getting angry angry and at one point I said wow we must really hate each other or something. I was in no mood to drive that long in the condition i was in.

Anyways, he ended up breaking up with me and said things like long distance is too hard, there's more bad than good, we have too much baggage, and we are bad for each other. I could not stop crying, and I'm extremely embarrassed to say but it seemed like I kept talking him into staying with me. This went on for like an hour. He said after that that he wanted to give it another try. We slept together that night and this morning. He just kept telling me not to think about it and that he loved me. I tried talking to him about it and saying if he didn't want to stay he shouldn't feel like he has to. But he kept saying he wanted to stay and I just take too much reassurance. Then he texted me tonight saying he loved me but stopped responding when I mentioned how sorry I was.

I just really care about him and my prides a little hurt. I wanted another opinion because I don't want to be bad for him at all. But I also don't want to break up and get back together again. It's too much heartache. So my question is really just your opinions on all of this. Thank you so much for any kind of input :/ I hate feeling this way.

I am in a similar situation with you.


My boyfriend and I were together for three years, long distance and three weeks ago he ended it with me and I totally know exactly how you feel.

I'm not a "make up break up" girl kind either and it's just so difficult because you want to stand your ground and be strong, but you want them back so bad also.

It seems like you do both WANT to be together and when you are you try to force things to work because you don't have a lot of time for eachother. So instead of talking about all the problems and issues you have with eachother, you just make out you are ok because you have little time together.

Spend some time alone. It hurts to be alone, but you need to establish some things for yourself. It's so raw at the moment and you need to be alone to figure out what you want. Ie do you want him back... or are you just lonely.

Time apart is nothing to be embarrassed or scared about. You love each other, you trust eachother - noone is going to go off for another person.. it's just taking the time to calm down and figure out what you really want to say.

Both of you need to wait, your both on emotional highs. Once you have gotten to the point where you stop crying (!) you will be able to just sit down, no bullshit. Lay out the problems you have, let him lay out his (dont jump in, don't justify, let him say what his issues are), and talk about how you could resolve them.

There is no need to jump back together.
He'll be waiting for you.

It's not weak to get back together, it's encouraging and strong that you guys might be willing to fight and make something work, but there are only so many times you can be hurt.

He has made his bed and now he needs to lie in it.
Sleeping together etc etc yes I've done it too, it happens, you still love eachother.

As much as I want to text my boyfriend 24/7, I kno w he needs some space. I am not trying to convince him to be with me, he has his reasons and I will NEVER sugarcoat it all, I've done it before and you end up breaking up again.

Honestly, time. Just have some time for yourself, have a strong support system and drop him a call in a months time and see if he wants to meet up. Everything your feeling he is too, don't think for a second he doesn't love you or doesn't want to be with you. Of course he does, he is just trying to find is way like the rest of us.

Take care and message me for anything.

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My boyfriend and I have been going out for 5 years now, I love im dearly but I feel as though he is not in love with me anymore. I am 37 and I am a girl. He is cold and heartless towards me. How can I win him back?

There isn't exactly a direct answer to your question.

I could give you various ideas IE - cook a nice meal, do something etc but those would all be pointless and temporary actions.

If he is cold and heartless towards you and he makes you feel unloved the only way to actually resolve an issue is to... unfortunately.. talk about it!

You need to sit down, alone, quietly & say what is bothering you and upsetting you. Ask him is he aware, why does he do these things - all the things you want to know. If he admits he doesn't love you anymore then you know it's time to break away, if he says he loves you, then you find out what the problem is and then ask.. how are you going to resolve it.

The only way you are going to stop feeling the way you do is to talk to him. Which can be very hard, but trust me, it works.

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My boyfriend is away at the moment and gets back on Monday. I've really missed him and we've just come through a bit of a rough patch so I'd like to do something special for him. Obviously I could just cook him a romantic meal, but we do that for each other around once a week anyway so I'd like to do something different. I haven't got much money to spare so it needs to be something fairly low cost. Any ideas?

We're both 20 and more or less living together.

cheap candles in the bedroom,
and romantic music ; give him a really nice massage.
I always find that really nice when my boyfriend does that and vice versa. It's just you two, taking the time to chill and relax.

Sometimes we'll have a relaxing bath together which can be pretty nice, with a glass of wine :)

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I need a good answer. I have looked around constantly and found no good answers. My girlfriend wants me to open up to her and I am completely fine with it. I want, am ready to and thought that I was but for some reason she doesn't think I am. Can you help me?

Why doesn't she think you are?
"Opening up" isn't something that happens over night and it isn't something you just do, you know? There's a moment, and you know when you are ready to express how you feel.
Don't spend your time trying to convince her - it's selfish for her to put any pressure on you. She should try to be understanding.
If she's impatient, it's her loss. Do it on your own terms, and ignore any pressure she might put under you. Stand you're ground.
If you want to express how you feel about her - and you aren't good with words. Explain that - but also express your feelings in another way - writing a letter. It's something she can keep and read over and over if she ever questions you.

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My Boyfriend Asked Me If Id Have Sex With Him Im 15 Years Old And I Kind Of Want To But I Want Some Advice. He Got Tested For Aids And All That And He Dont Have Them But I Just Want Some Advice

Not sure exactly what advice you want but all I have to say is if you truly wanted to commit to sex you wouldn't need to come on an advice website. If you are fully ready you would know straightaway, you wouldn't need to think about it, or say "maybe" or kind of want to.

Everyone says it but in a sense you are quite young and it's not until your a bit older you realize. I don't think it's something you should do if you are having to think about. But if you feel like actually I am ready, then all I would say then is use protection, and make sure you are BOTH doing it for the right reasons.

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Hi.
I'm 13 and male. I am so different from all of my peers and most of them make fun of me. Today i found a typo in a book which we were reading and i pointed it put to a person iny group and she said tht is why people don't like me. How do i fix all of this and be accepted? Again, i'm vry different. I overuse the dictionary and listen to classical music. Plr
Please help! Ron777

Firstly your 13. These "friends" aren't going to be your friends forever - so don't even bother trying to change yourself for them. Have you thought about they need to change - and if you asked them to, would they? NO, so don't you change. You're great.

You and your "friends" have different interests and that's fine. You don't need to fix anything, why would you want to be accepted by people who can't accept the real you?? If you change they are only accepting the fake you.

I would suggest you keep being your lovely self and try to find other friends with similar interests. You like classical music? Ever thought about learning an instrument, there are always classical music groups at school or around the local area. I don't what other interests you have but I suggest you join a few groups and find some new friends. You have nothing to lose. If you don't like it - don't go back.

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So I have been in plenty of relationships before, but never have I made out with a guy yet. But now I have this really amazing boyfriend, and I don't know what to do! We have been dating for like three months now, and I know hes going to try to make out soon, but I am SOO nervous. I dont want to do anything wrong because I really like him. Can someone pleaseeeee give me advice!! Oh and I am female and 15.

Can I just say, I remember when this was me!

You know when I first dated a guy and things, we were sitting down etc etc, I looked away , I must of been watching tv or something and as I looked up, he just suddenly kissed me, and it goes from there.

You don't know when it is first going to happen, it's funny, it's when you least expect it!

I guarantee you nothing will go wrong, and he will be nervous too. But it's a great experience and there is no need to be worried as there is no right way of doing things. Making out for the first time is such an adrenaline rush, and you don't need to be nervous at all. Just keep close to him, kiss, hug him loads, he will soon pick up you'd like to makeout and then that will essentially give him the boost to make the "move"

good luck!

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I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years because there were many arguments, not really big issues but it seemed right at the time. We texted back and forth after the break up, at first he was devastated, but after a while he agreed with the breakup. This upset me because I ended it but I still end up getting more hurt than him, I guess I hoped he would try to convince me to stay. Out of anger I said "F!@* you, don't text me ever again". He didn't text me since. I would like to try and get back together but is that even possible at this point? Should I reach out to him? What should I even say?

I think you need to explain why you said what you said.

I understand you are angry that he didn't fight for the relationship, but there are so many reasons why he may not have fought - maybe he wanted what was best for you - after all you were the one that broke up with him. He may have just "agreed" that it was best because you suggested it in the first place and he didn't want to show how really cut up he is about it.

Go talk to him. I think you should apologise for swearing, and speaking out of anger and tell him you regret it. Explain why you wanted to break up, and how you felt he didn't react the way you wanted to and it stung. See how he feels and what he says. Once those thoughts are out of your head and off your chest, suggest you'd like to try again, prehaps take things slow.

I can't tell you if he will agree with you, I don't know how much damage is there. But ask yourself do want him back because the reasons you broke up with him don't matter anymore and you love him or is it because you you didn't get the reaction you wanted and you now feel alone.

I means what's changed, it's a big decision to end a relationship so why do you want him back? I'm not trying to be negative, I just don't want you to make a decision that isn't right for you, or him either.

You guys have been together long enough to be honest. Just talk to him and explain. That's all you need to do - and then take it from there, from how he responds.

Good luck

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Well one more thing before I ask what about the girl that's my friend. What if he tells or shows her my text because he did before about some other girl. And he wrote a whole note about the dance thing it was because he didn't think he should go because he just switched schools and other people would be all like yeah and he was like at the end of the note again I'm really sorry I really would and you would be a fun date maybe we could go to some other dance. But homecoming past and he went with one of his friends from my school I didn't go because I had other stuff.

Hey you!

Why would it matter if he showed it to her? I mean all your asking is how he is. It sounds like he does respect you and did want to go the dance with you - so if you eventually did ask him what went wrong, he should keep it confidential.

However, if he does show a private message to another girl, it just goes to show one main quality he lacks is trust, which would demonstrate he may have never been right for you.

Send it anyway, do it for you. This message is for you.

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Well your advice has been the best I have been asking that same kinda question and noone has helped me the way you tried. I thanks you for that. But I'm scared to message him. I'm frightened of rejection or whatever it's called when he doesn't respond back. And yes it did fizzle out. When school started last year I had a math class with him(he's a year older) we sorta talked but he didn't talk to me as much. I knew he still cared about me because when I needed something he would get it. But it was just a little awkward and he stopped texting me he use to text me everyday until school. And then the beginning of second half he had French with me. And I asked him to the sweethearts dance a week later he gave me a note that said I'm sorry etc etc. But Im switching schools and I don't think I would be able to go and an explanation about stuff. But I tried texting him one night about twomonths after he was gone we talked for a little but he stopped responding. Sorry I'm bothering you about this but I really appreciate you.

I can understand you are frightened of rejection. But rejection from what? You aren't asking for a date, you aren't asking him to do anything for you - you are just seeing how he is.

I think it's sad it fizzled out - especially as it could of been something, maybe it can still be something, or maybe it won't be. Did you ask him why he didn't want to go to the sweethearts dance? This is a horrible thing to say but maybe he doesn't feel the same anymore - due to him distancing himself from you and not wanting to attend the dance with you. But I can't tell you how he feels. For all I know he could still really like you, he just feels awkard like you do too.

Like I said, message him. If you don't get a reply or answer you were looking for - take it is a positive. You can't get over him because it didn't end badly, it just slowly went away. If you don't get the message you want, yes it may sting a little - but then you would known the truth and will be able to move on. I know you say you can't get over him but it is because you haven't had the closure. If he doesn't reply or you don't get the answer you want it will sting, but then you go through certain emotional phases. You will be hurt, then you will get angry at the fact you've "wasted" your time, then you may destest him, then you feel like you don't need a guy, and then eventually you will feel like yourself again.

Talking to him is the only way to either find out if he is interested, and if he isn't anymore - that will allow you to move on. Because right now all your wondering is what could of been. And when you soon find out the answer, you won't be wasting your time wondering and feeling down. You'll either be on a great high because he wants to talk to you, or you'll be on the road to recovery.

Rejection hurts but you can't move on until you know.

It's strange he just stopped talking to you, especially as you put a lot of effort in to trying to keep friends. And you don't need to worry about "bothering me". You aren't - it's what I'm here for, honest. Please, please just let me know what happens, someone's gotta be here for you, especially if you can't talk to anyone about it xx

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I'm 15f I've like this guy and we met through this group priest thing. And we hung out everyday when we were with the group we flirted soooo much it was the closest I've ever gotten to a guy becauseive never had a bf and never had my first kiss. And we almost kissed. Now all I ever think about is him and I do like other guys it's just he's allways in my head I've tried to talk to him again like last march but it's like awkward he use to go to my school. But then he switched to a public school not to far away. I feel trapped I want out if I can't have him. And I can't share this with anyone bc it's been so long and I haven't told my friends that I still like him so itd be weird and if I try to talk to him. I know he'll tell this girl who was in the group that I'm friends with but I lied to her about being over him. And she lives kinda by him so he will talk to her about stuff how this one girl always bothers him (not me) and then that girl tells me what he says. I'm trapped help me please tell me what to do I cry about this sometimes.and no I can't see a therapist.

I'm a little confused as to why you guys don't speak anymore - is it only because he switched schools?


You arent't over him, and what I think you need to do is talk to him. Whether it's for closure, so you can find out what he felt, or whether it's to get things back on track, you should.

You have a reason to - why don't you ask him why the both of you don't talk, you can even say it in a casual way, you can message him and just say "hey you, I haven't spoken to you in a while, why is that? How have you been". A simple, harmless message like that can maybe give you the answers, or perhaps closure you were looking for. Normally I don't advise people to go back into their past, but both of you didn't end negatively, it just fizzled away - and there is no reason why you can't bring that fizzle back! So just send him a message. You have nothing to lose. Trust me.

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hi my name is emma i am 13 and my boyfriend wants to have sex with me what do i do

You need to ask yourself are you ready?
Do you feel 100% it's right in your heart?
If your in doubt, say no.

Think about the consequences of these actions ;
will the relationship last after?
will i get pregnant?
what about if he is using me?

Can you handle the responsibility of being pregnant if that happened? Can you handle all your friends going out whilst your stuck at home for nine months not being able to be a kid. What would your parents think, would they be there for you?

I personally feel that you are too young to handle the emotional concept of sex. I don't want you to regret it - your so young, you should never live in regret at such a young age.

You may not want to hear this but the likely chance of you staying together is low, and your relationship may not be as fruitful, maybe wait. I I waited and it's the best thing I ever did. When you are 13, you can't go out, you don't have money, you can't go away together, you can't eat out, you can't do what couples do to keep the relationship interesting. And when I finally had sex I was so happy because it was something I got to look forward to.

Whereas if you have sex now, what will you have to look forward too? You will see friends as you get older, talk to you about how happy they are for doing it, but looking back where you happy or did you do it to try and keep your boyfriend?

I cannot judge, I just hope you do what is right for you. If you are considering it, research and have a look at the PROTECTION that is available, if you are going to do it, do it right. Try to confide in an adult. Maybe there is a Councillor at school who will be able to help you make the right decision. It's confidential, and they are there to make sure you are happy.


I hope you make the right decision that is best for you.

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So my friend asked this guy if he would go out with me && were both 11 ,he said he doesn't think he's ready for a girlfriend and maybe he might go out with me.He stares at me sometimes .Idk What do u think it means when he said maybe?

I agree with the columist below me

But I must say maybe means maybe you know? It means he isn't sure. But I personally take maybe as a no, because if he wanted a girlfriend he would of said yes?

and he also said he doesn't think he is ready. Which I understand still being a child! If he does go out with you take into consideration that he is all of a sudden ready. Is he ready or he is just going out with you for the sake of it?

I would advise that having a boyfriend at the age of 11 is only going to end in tears. Someone is going to get hurt and it's not going to last. Why waste your time.

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There is this guy who I like and I think he likes me back. Recently we've been talking and it's been great. The problem is that when he dosnt text me I freak out but when he does text me I don't want to talk to him. I got I text from him and thought to myself"ugh he's a little pushy I hope he's not like this all the time" but then I realized just a few hours ago I had been glued to my phone waiting for a call or text. I'm so confused. I want to talk to him but then I don't.

I think it can stem from the fact you really like him. I have experienced this. Sometimes we like someone but don't want to admit it, or we don't even want to like them, or even let them know, but we do like them. It's simple.

It's ok to freak out, your letting your guard down and you can be afraid, you may feel like its going to end and he is going to just never talk to you again. But he has no reason to ignore you - therefore if he isn't answering he is probaly going to be busy. Why would he ignore you? You guys are fine.

The reason you may think he is being pushy is that you are looking for a reason to push YOUR feelings away, a reason not to like him. If he does seem pushy, maybe because he likes you too? Isn't that a positive!? (yay)

Stop trying not to feel what you do feel. You like him, it's a great thing, but yes it can be scary too. Keeping talking, and develop the friendship. Find out a little more about him etc to confirm your feelings, I wouldn't say you need to anymore. If two people like each other it will come together, especially if he is interested in talking to you back and it's going great. Your fine just chill, and tell yourself you've got nothing to worry about.

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18 f

i have an on-going flirtation with this one guy that i go to school with. we openly flirt and will most likley hook up within the next month. i know he thinks im attractive and all but he recently said that i was a 9, as in a 9 out of 10. i dont know whether to be flattered that he gave me such a high number or insulted that he doesnt think im a 10. any opinions on this would be great.

thanks!

You just shouldn't care at all what anyone what rates you. There are more important things to ask advice on in life.

And if he sees you care, he has got you right where he wants you.

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he says daily he loves me but he has a girlfriend. Should I just leave or try to see if he will leave her?

Leave.

If he loved you, he wouldn't keep you waiting around and if he was a respectful gentlemen he wouldn't be fooling around with someone else, and lying. If he can cheat on his girlfriend, he can cheat on you.

Go find someone worth wasting time over. Not a cheater.

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Okay so I talk to this guy a lot and we always want to hook up with each other. Most of the time he will text me asking to have sex and we will talk dirty. I love it and sometimes I'll text him saying how badly I want sex and I want to suck his...anyway but when good time comes I always get nervous and make an excuse saying I can't.I later wish I wasnt such chicken. How can I stop getting so nervous and finally just do it?!

Have you thought that maybe you're not ready to have sex with him? That's what's stopping you. Don't try to fool yourself. If it's just nerves, tell him that you are. If you don't want to tell him, just talk dirty and say you want to be controlled/"used" and then that means he has to make the first move and in a sense he is guiding you.

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19/F
(not sexually active; just to dismiss that)
So, my boyfriend & I are having our one-year anniversary next week :) The thing is, I'm broke :|
So, I guess I'm going DIY for this one. But I have NO clue what to do for him... I guess a hand-made card is a given, but I've made him 4 unique ones already for christmas, valentine's day, our six months, and his birthday. i've run out of creative ideas! so i guess first of all, does anyone have any ideas on like some kind of creative template for a card? I'll put my own spin on it, of course. But between a pop-up, a heart-shaped, a giant card, a collage, I can't think of any other cheesy cute creative thing I can do with a card. Maybe something with 365 incorporated into it...? I don't know.
Also, anything else I can make him? I know everyone says a frame with a picture of us or something, but we don't really have any...the few that we actually have he already used on a gift for me, so I'd rather not go with that. Any other ideas?
Finally... I want this in addition to e corny little mug. I have a small cheap DIY mug kit that I bought, but the paint it came with, I don't like the colors. I have a little pack of craft paints I wanted to use but I think they'll wash right off... is there anything I can use to seal it all? I was thinking nail polish top coat but I'm not sure it'll hold up..?

Any ideas at all will help! please & thank you :)

I made my boyfriend a photo album, a cake and dinner. Why don't you have him round for dinner, have a movie night?

The mug sounds like a great idea, and use clear nail varnish for the top coat.

You can always put a poem in the card too :)

My boyfriend did the cutest things. He bought a pack of playing cards but BIG ones, took all the "heart" suits from the pack and wrote a reason on each of the cards why he loved me and joint it together with ribbon to make a little book :)

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I have a crush on this boy. But every time I sit beside him, he doesn't talk to me. He talks to the person beside him, the one behind him, the one in front of him, anyone except me. The only thing that makes me feel like I exist is when I saw him look at me.

Maybe he doesn't talk to you because you never start a conversation?

Say hi, ask him how he is? You don't need to have a massive conversation, the more small talk you have with eachother over the next couple of weeks, will allow you to have bigger conversations as you will get to know little bits about eachother.

How can he think anything is wrong with you, if he doesn't know anything about you? You cannot hate someone if they have done nothing wrong. Stop worrying and just say hello. I can assure you he does not hate you.

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