about

hey, i'm not a very nice person if i get pissed off, but i've gone through a lot in my life so i think that i can give good advice on a lot of things. if anyone isn't sure that they can talk to someone because they don't understand then feel free to IM me on my AIM and i can talk to you, and i don't mind letting you guys know about my past.
*~*shan*~*


ps
(this is my favorite quote) "as long as you've got one person in the world, you've already betten the odds"



advice

My friend's boyfriend is basically an allout loser. He treats her wicked badly, and makes her cry almost every night. It's to the point where she has cut herself because of him. She constantly asks if he still loves her or not, and he says she's wicked annoying. Which I understand, but he doesnt need to upset her like this. She says she relizes he treats her this way, yet she does nothing about it. How can I make her stop all this. I honeslty cant take it, its to the point where even i get upset about it. What do I do?!

something like this sounds like it is going to take some tough love for her, take it from someone who used to cut, many people don't understand why people do it, but i know that i've never done it over a boy, if she loved herself enough then she'd know when she's with someone who isn't good for her, she should understand that most people don't change so odds are he's going to stay like this for a long time, she needs to just break up with him and find someone who'll treat her the way she deserves to be treated

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Im 20 years old, im engaged and getting married this july. and im a virgin. i am TERRIFIED of the thought of having sex. my fiance says he will respect my feelings, but it just really scares me. i dont kno what to do. i love him so much, and the idea of sex, like connecting with someone because you love them so much is nice. but im terrified of the what happens. i know that probably sounds ridiculous to a lot of people, but i could really use some advice.

Thanx

i still remember the first time i had sex, it was a little scary but i did it with someone that i loved and it was ok, not scary at all after things got started. just don't do it until you know you're ready or else you'll regret it, a lot of people that i know regret their first times because they weren't ready or the did it with someone that they didn't feel much for, so as long as you know that you're ready then you'll be ok. you will be happy, and fyi if and when the time comes for you to have sex just take it slow and it'll all be ok



and ps props on getting a man who respects your wishes about sex, you don't find that much very often so you obviously got yourself a good man, i'd say keep him

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Ok well me n this boy have been friends for about a year now and he asked me out like 2 weeks ago.. i said yes so were officially gf and bf.. well anyways he acts like when i touch him hes gunna puke or somethin like when i hug him he ussually never hugs me back and when he does its weak.. and he never makes the first move... hes also been talkin to his old gf and im startin to get upset and annoyed can u please give me some advice?

you've gotta talk to him, that the biggest part of any relationship is communication...maybe you rushed into things with him quickly, if you could hug each other before you started dating then maybe you two are better off as friends, and if him talking to his old girlfriend bothers you then you should tell him that too...hope i helped

shay

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Ok well me and this boy are goin out n he is not that physical.. like if i go to hold his hand he will just stand there, well hell hold my hand back but he never holds my hand or when i give him hugs he just stands there and my friends say he looks like hes uncomfortable with me hugging him wat should i do?

talk to him, find out if he's uncomfortable with being physical in any ways, let him know that you want to make him happy and to tell you if he is uncomfortable with anything that goes on in your relationship...hope i helped

shay

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My BF still speaks to his ex-gf. She lives in a different state but they chat on MSN. They were together over a year. I guess I'm a pretty jealous person, but I actually don't believe in being friends with your exes. I'm not friends with any of mine (I don't hate them though) It's causing me a lot of worry and upset because they've broken up and got back together several times and I'm afraid its going to happen again. would it be unreasonable for me to ask him to stop speaking to her? when i asked him how he felt about her, he said they won't get back together because she no longers likes guys... but I dunno. Doesn't sound very convicing to me. What should I do?

thanks

your first mistake would be to tell him tostop talking to her, it's been my experience that when youtell a guy to stop talking to a girl then he'll either keep talking to her more or break up with you, just tell him thatyou're not comfortable with it or even ask what kind of things the two of them talk about, if he cares about you then you shouldn't have anything to worry about. it's ok to get jealous but if it gets to far you may end up losing your boyfriend, and fyi it's ok to still be friends with an ex, especially if they were together for a long time. i was with my ex for two and a half years and he and i are still close friends. they may still have feelings for each other but he's with you now and not her and that's what you've got to remember...

hope i helped

shay

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my gf Sandy and I are close..in her point of veiw. I dont like Sandy at all. But Sandy REALLY likes me. People want me to kiss her..but i dont want to.I just want to be friends. Besides..my friend Jack likes Sandy i think..so Jack gets mad at me. and if i break up with Sandy people might get mad at me. But i really want to break up with Sandy. Its hard to break up with her to.. because we talk on the phone all day and stuff. I really dont like her.

if you don't like her and you're not happy with her then you shouldn't be with her no matter what otherpeople think, you deserve to be happy and if jack likes her so much then he should be with her not you

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ok so..i broke up w/ my bf cuz his friends threaten me and fight w/ me and stuff and i just couldnt take it anymore..and now i think it was a bad idea to break up w/ him..wat should i do?

talk to him and explain why you broke up with him and tell him that you still care a lot about him

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wats the easiest way to break-up with a guy without saying "lets just be friends"?? or getting someone else to do it??

just sit him down and tell him how you feel, if he's in love with you then there's no way to do it without hurting him, all you can do is tell him the truth and hope for the best

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Okay... this is hard for me. Because my boyfriend travels and works... and he's going to be leaving on Sunday for twelve days. When he gets back on the 24th, he'll be leaving the next day for two weeks on a vacation to Florida with his family. I want to do something special for him tomorrow... and he's under a LOT of stress b/c his car just died on him today when he got home from Alabama. I just want tomorrow to be a fun day for us and I want him to be able to remember it. Anyone have any ideas at all please help. I'm 15/f he's 18/m!!!

i recommend this: take your boyfriend on a picknick (pending weather) and watch the sunset together, make him a card or something just something that he canbring with him that tells him how much you care for him and how much you'll miss him.

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It was my birthday and all on May 17 and that's when this guy I used to like started paying attention to me again. We would sometimes look but that would be once or twice a week. Since my birthday, I've recieved more than eight looks from this guy. Well, anyway I told myself that I should move onto another guy because I deserve love and he's not the right one to give it to me. I mean he flirts with other girls in front of my face. I also acknowledged some things that I have been in denial about. Why has he waited to now to pay me any attention? IS IT MIND GAMES? Or is he being serious. Spring Fling is tomorrow.

it's not being rude, it's being honest, deal with it

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so I've never been kissed but pretty soon its gonna happen and well, will he know? I dont wanan tell him just because its kinda embarassing. But can he tell? !! thanks.

only if you suck at it

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i have been dating my boyfriend for 9 years. we are going to get married in july. i went to visit my brother at camp pendleton and i met one of his friends. we really were into each other. nothing happened sexually but we both wanted it to happen. now i can't stop thinking about him and my brother says that he keeps asking about me. i have n o sexual intrest in my boyfriend anymore. but i felt this way before i met this guy. he cheated on me three times. he hasn't done anything in the past 3 1/2 years. but i don't feel anything towards him. what should i do???

don't leave your man, that would be wrong and stupid, everyone gets feelings for someone else you just need to forget about it. you've got a family, deal with it and stay with the father of your children, broken homes suck

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hey i have a question me and this guy are going out and like his family like his parents like arent the fondest of me like she is holding something against me. see me and this other guy went to prom together and the guy im going out with now is obviously pretty bummed about this so his mom is constantly holding this against me and just wont gimmie a 2nd chance! So i plan on writing her a letter. I need some help on what to say to her. Like explaining why i did go. I went because he proved 2 me it was so important and that he wanted to go with me. Well this guys mom (my bf) is obviously protecting her "little baby boy"... well trying. but i cant tell her why i wanted cuz she'd hate me more. So please help!

you don't need their approval so stop worrying

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ok. this might be long and if it is im sorry. anyway. first of all, im 14/f. i said i would always be straight, but there is this one girl. shes 17/f. i dont no. just every time i no im goin to see her i get VERY happy. when i dont see her i kind of get depressed. we play softball together in the fall. she only talks to me then. whenever softball is over, we barely talk. when i see her and she doesnt say anything to me, it kills me. when she looks at me and smiles, i go crazy. i want to be like her and have everything she has. it kills me. she is also graduating next year and i will prolly rarely ever see her after that. and that thought CRUSHES me. sometimes i cry myself to sleep because i can barely talk to her. i want to get to no her and maybe (?) start a special bond with her. also, she is bi (i think, that is what everyone says). whatever she asks me to do for her, i will do it in a heartbeat. is this really a crush, love, or jealousy? im tellin you, i CANNOT live without this girl!

look up OCD, no doubt that's what you have, you're OBSESSED with this girl, and it's not healthy, i think you might need professional help.

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Okay so I met this guy (we are both 16) and we hit it off. spent like 10 hours together he was totally flirting holding hands cuddling and he would just stare at me and would always sit next to me and he tried to kiss me and such.. (it was a church retreat. We were helpers lol for the little kids) so at the end of the night when its time to leave and we are right next to each other in the seat but my friend is between us and he got up and kept looking back at me and then he just left no good bye and didn’t ask for a number or anything! what does that mean? What happened?

sounds like this was just a one time thing, he might have thought that this was just a, what's called "camp fling", or he could just be a dog, who knows. it seems to me that you're better off without him, you can get a guy who will be nicer than that. if you happen to see him again then don't approach him first, it'll make you seem desperate and he'll in total control. he'll realize what a jack ass he is and hate himself while you'll be moved on to a better guy

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Ok, well I started going out with this guy, mark, about 2 years ago. It seemed like a normal relationship.Then i found out that he was married and had a son who is 3. His wife found out and called me. I had no idea that he was married. It didn't seem like he just wanted to cheat on his wife because we didn't even have sexual relations until we were a year into the relationship. I really thought that everything was normal. Well she called me and I tried to explain the situation to her. Of course she was angry (who wouldn't be) so it didn't work very well. I just took everything she was saying to me so she could let her anger out so then I would maybe get a chance to explain. Then I heard mark come in. I don't think he knew she was on the phone. Well she started yelling at him then I heard him scream at her and hit her. I could hear him beating her over the phone. So I called the police on him. He was arrested and is currently in jail. Well he called me and told me that he knew it was me and that if I didn't help him get bail he would get one of his friends to kill his wife, his son, and me. I called his wife and he told her the same thing. I know that he get himself out he has very powerful friends. So, is there anyway that I can make sure that he doesn't get bail and is there anyway I can get protection for his son and his wife?

I will rate high and thank you in advance

his wife and son will have to get a restraning order
against mark in order to keep them safe, they should also think about moving

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hey well i am having a problem. okay i dated this guy for four months and i really fell in love with him. at first it was great he was sweet but then we started having problemslike arguing and we would just fuss all the time well that was about last semester of school. this is our second semester anyways his name was andrew and i found out that he had some problems like mental. and i kept breaking up and going back with him on and off. well we broke up feb. 2 of this year and i then started dating this other guy for almost three months. i fell in love with him and he was the second person i ever loved, but andrew was the first. when andrew found out about me and jeremy he started making threats to him and saying all this stuff. well then i finally told andrew to stop and let me live my life. okay me and jeremy have been broke up for a month and a few days. i then have dated this guy michael whom i with now, well i dont care to much for him like everybody thinks. then today andrew's Best Friend who has grown up together came up to me and told me about andrew wanting me back i thought i was for sure over him but when he told me that all these feelings have come back and i am so confused on what to do. my friends say call him and see if he changed and the question is should i call him? and see if it is true? or should i write him well i am writing him now well plz help nikki

i don't think that you should. odds are it's going to end up like it had all the times before. date who you want to date

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i really like this boy, and my friend found out that i liked him, and she's being stirring rumours that arent true and she found out that the boy i like has alot of common things with me and she is trying to be his perfect image which is me i recently found out that they are going out what should i do
i dont understand why she didnt want to tell me to see how i feel about it
and now the person that i found out that she thinks there is something going on between me and him

i really don't kow what to do

talk to your friend and find out why she did that, she must be jealous of the fact that you and this guy have so much in common and she doesn't have as much in common with him.

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ok so my boyfriend of 3 months just brokeup with me. He said he needed a break and needed some time to hang with the boys because when we were going out he was very commited to me and hung out with me almost more than his friends. so after only a day of his "break" he asked me out and said he was too in love to do this. well he brokeup with me the next day and once agian just said he nneded a break. but he promised we would be togehter agian because " were meant to be" he says. so what i dont understand is if he loves me why hes putting us through this and what can i do to not think of him n help him get through his break faster? sorry its so long thanks!

tell him to stop messing with your emotions and make up his mind. if he loves you he wouldn't screw with you like that. tell him that if he wants to hang out with the guys then he doesn't need to break up with you to do that. all he needs to do is say "hey i'm going out with the guys call you later" or something like that.

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Here’s the thing I’ve never been kissed (15/f), but there’s a guy I like so if I get a chance to kiss him I want to really impress him. And I don’t really even know the basics. I know many people say it’s good to just “go with the flow” and that it will happen naturally, but I’ve also heard many people talking about their first kiss and how bad it was and everything and how the other person didn’t like it at all. And I know it will really mater to him, because he is really hot (can get any girl he wants, but is not a player) and is a perfectionist, so if it goes wrong I will make a really bad impression and might never get a second chance. Plus he is two years older so I suppose he’s had a lot of experience. I really need someone to walk me trough everything. I am going for something that includes a French kiss, a kiss that he will remember in a good way that will sweep him off his feet.

whoever said "go with the flow" is right, first kisses are like sex you do it when you're ready, that's why some people don't have good ones. my first kiss with my boyfriend was magic because we both wanted it and we knew that's what we wanted. if you are going to kiss him then just let your heart guide you. you'll be ok

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