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advice

So I haven't heard from my bf in a little less than 2 months. It's kinds depressing cause I could call him anytime. We used to talk everyday! I don't even no why he won't answer the phone!!! I've been talking to Z (let's call him that for privacy) a lot more that usual. He's one of my best friends and I've gotten to know him more and more. But here's the problem...I THINK I MIGHT BE FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM!! Which scares my bc I love my bf. if he would answer his phone and talk to me again, than I could snap out of it. Oh and Z has a gf. Which makes it a million times worse!!! Help me. Please!! Ps I'm 15 and a girl. My bf is 15. Z is 16

Hi, first off I would say: try contacting your boyfriend again. If he doesn't answer, keep trying for a week and if after that you still haven't had any contact with him, really think about what you're going to do. As I always say, if you fall for a 2nd guy, you weren't really in love with the 1st, BUT if your bf is just away for a while, what you are feeling for Z is not love, but rather deep infatuation - Which is just a longing for a new bf while your actual bf is not around. If you choose Z, and your bf comes back around what are you going to do? To be completely honest, if he hasn't contacted you for that long he may be super busy or he has found another girl, it happened to me. What I would do is try to see what's keeping your bf so busy... and if he doesn't get back to you soon, I'd just talk to Z. See how he feels about you and his gf and see who he'd rather be with. The last thing you want to do is break up a relationship that is going good; you don't want to lose Z as a friend. Maybe you and Z are just meant to be friends anyhow. Fix the relationship you're in or find a guy who's not already taken. Inbox me if you'd like.

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I usually don't ask questions, but well, this is important. So I am taking summer gym so I don't have to do it during the year and it's all the people from my grade from our district middle school and 3 students. I am friends with all 3 of them. One of them is a guy and we always run into each other everywhere and anywhere somehow. He and I talk a lot and whenever we walk together, we walk slower than usual. We talk a lot and we goof around together during class. Whenever were playing a game, were totally competitive and we try to out do each other. I really like him, but I have no idea if he likes me back. I love being around him and he makes my life so much more fun. Especially when he comes up to me and asks me if I'm hot and I respond yes, and he pours his water bottle all over my head!!! I laugh and yell in a joking way, "I'm going to kill you" while I'm still laughing and I chase him until we both can't breath anymore. I just can't ask him if he likes me...should I? And, when, how? Ugh! I'm confused! Someone help me! I'm love struck!

Hey there,
I think you should invite him to hang out with you. Next time he comes over and you two are chatting or flirting, just ask him 'Hey, I was wondering if you would like to hang out sometime?'. If he says yes, you're on the right track and if he says he's not available, ask him if another time will work for him. One time he will say yes and then you'll be able to hang out with him more and become great friends which will evolve into a relationship. Try it and I'm sure you'll be off to a great start :)

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Well ive been with this guy for almost 2 years. We broke up about twice so far. The first time i managed to get him back and he told me that he missed me and realized he still loved me. But it was also partly because i gave into him and gave him bj the two times we saw each other while broken up. But its cause i asked him straightforwardly the thirdtime when we were about to do it again. But the three months togwther then was mostly us doing sexual stuff like up to third base and thats it. But we didnt have much time to just bond and talk. Were also a bit long distance seeing eachother only once in a week or two. But this time he broke up with me again giving me a bunch of excuses. His friends even told him that we wouldnt work out which i think possibly influenced his decision. But his friends dont even know me because my parents are strict so i mever got to meet his friends. But well a month of no contact with him then the second the month ended i started talking to him and asking to see each other for closure. But once i saw him it wasnt closure but me asking to get backand being desperate. Then he blew up on me saying we should just let it go now hefore it gets even harder to let go later on and that hes trying to move on. Then i stomped out yelling i just dont get this. Then he texted me a day after explaining that he feels like hes in the relationship for sex. And then from tere we judt argued back and forth because i got hope from that. And on saturday i lashe out on him ecause he asked this girl to prom when he knew i still liked him and i wanted to go to prom with him since junior year. And then he lashed back put on me. And then we argued intensely until thursday. Because on thursday he told me the modt hurtful things like im annoying him that he cribges when e sees my texts and that everything was in the past its over and that he takes back all the hope an consideration he gave me a few days ago when he really thought of possibly geting back together. And that im lucky he hasnt blocked me yet. Well to be honest i feel so hurt but i still want a try but im scared to hear hurtful things. But i want him to be with me again. Idk if i should move on talk to him or what i should even do!!! I honestly want some possible way to slowly get his love for me back again.

Hi, as soon as you say that you broke up several times and that when you got back together it was mostly physical, it leaves me with a bitter taste. This means that you guys have basically been walking on eggshells since the beggining and that is not healthy in any relationship. First things first, you should NeVer go back to a guy and act desperate for a relationship because it Never Works! If he even said he\'s in it for sex, you\'re not going to be in a relationship with him ever, you\'re just going to be his sex toy. I think he went with the other girl to prom because he\'s trying to find closure for himself. Not to hurt you, but to remember prom with someone else, so if you two never get back together again, he won\'t always think of you and be sad about it.

I personally think you should move on, as hard as you may find it. I dated a guy for almost a year and became very attached too, but in the end I realized that it was never going to get better. A guy is always going to be the same way for the next 5-10 years. This means, if he has a habit of calling you names and using you for sex, it is not going to go away anytime soon. My ex still chooses alcohol over me and still says hurtful things when the opportunity presents itself, instead of talking it over first. If this guy doesn\'t want to communicate positively with you, trust me you are better off not getting hurt over and over and over again.. Even if you\'re hurt, you should both take some time off from eachother. Stop talking to him for a week, then two weeks then on the third week when he has cooled off, you could ask him if he wants to hang out AS FRIENDS and only friends. Whatever you do, don\'t be desperate and get sucked into his sex game because that gets you nowhere into dating him. It gets you in his pants and not his heart. You must take time off or you two will never cool down and talk reasonably. An once you do talk after those weeks of not talking, just try to be friends with eachother - no sex. Friends with benifits NEVER work out the way you want and once you\'re friends again, it can be easy to date again IF you feel the relationship actually enhances your life and doesn\'t take away from your happiness... because happiness is the key to any relationship.

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Girl 1)
Kinda short
Thick medium length brown hair
Green eyes
Tan Assyrian skin
Nice smile
Wears a lot of makeup
Big boobs - Small butt
Nice curve
Flexible but not fit
Outgoing/Kinda Lazy/Not much talents/Parties/Drinks/Smokes/ Dependent/Sleeps around a lot and gives guys whatever they want

Girl 2)
Regular height
Long brown hair
Brown eyes
Tan Latina skin
Nice smile
Doesn't need much makeup
Average boobs - Big butt
Average flexible but very fit
Sings/Dances/Guitar/Piano/Smart/Skates/Chill/Artist/Independent and strong/Has values

Hi,

Coming from a girls perspective, I would say: if you want a fun, playful, short-term girl - go with Girl 1. And if you would like a smart, down-to-earth, long-term girl - go with the second girl. Remember, I'm just going by how you described them and if I were you, I'd actually call it by their personalities and how much feelings you actually have for each one. Oh yea, an as the saying goes "you wouldn't fall for the second one if you really loved the first one" ;p Hope this helps.

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I am a boy of 23 and My girlfriend likes me since past 7 years and we had been in commitment since last 4 years but due to her fear of being in relationship she breaks with me within 15 days or a month and comes back after 6 months or some gap because she miss me every time also she has been the only girl ever in my life. initially i didn't knew how to handle my relationship and was too much of possessive about her but after 3 years of relation i have changed a lot and want to be with her for rest of my life but again like before her fear for being in relationship haunts her how can i make her understand that i can be the perfect guy and would make her feel special all the time and she need not to be afraid of relationship anymore?

Hi,

From what I read, maybe she thinks you'll be posessive again. My ex broke up with me and now he wants to get back together, an I love him dearly.. but the thought is still there that he'll just do it again. So to put it in different terms: actions really do speak louder than words. If you want her back you have to do it by being that better guy you talk about. Ask her how she is doing, listen to her and most of all - be her friend again. You may not realize it, but girls are scared of commitment simply because they don't want to be hurt. Whatever you do, don't try to force things on her, she just needs a guy to be there for her. It's obvious she still has feelings for you, so be her friend first again, and becoming her boyfriend will come naturally like before.

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I went out with my boyfriend for 7 months we broke up before and he left me for his ex he then he begged for me back and ended up leaving me again he use to go to different schools now he goes to mine and I have him in a class I love him so much I fell in love with him I have begged for him but it doesn't work I'm trying to make his gf mad do she can dump him buy she doesn't what can I do he needs to be mine again I live him so much I'm 17 btw

I have to agree with the other advicenator hun. If he loved you, he woudn't have left you for his ex AND then left you AGAIN. It is one of the reasons why I won't get back with my ex... he left me and he learned the hard way that if you love someone - you don't just drop them, you Stick With Them to the end and back! The first time your ex left you it was a warning and the second time, you just let him take advantage of you, which is something a girl should never let a guy have power of. Trust me, date someone who actually cares about your feelings, that way you'll never have to be let down and heartbroken. You'll feel more loved and wonder why you didn't let that guy go sooner... there's always a good reason why an ex is an ex, realize why and then move on to better and greater things

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Ok. I'm 16/f. So there's this boy I really want to get to know better in my class. I want to give him my number, or get his, or find some other way to talk to him. But I don't want to scare him off by just going up to him and giving it to him or asking him. That's not a good idea at all, it's way too strong.

If it helps, my teacher gives us class assignments where we turn around and work in groups of 4 with the people behind us. I sit right in front of him.

Also, if it helps, he's very gentle, very quiet and mature, very tall. I'm also tall, but I'm energetic, I talk a lot, and I'm a little clumsy. So when I trip, I make a lot of noise.

What do you think? How should I go about this? Any answers you may have are appreciated.

Hi there,

I think if you do assignments with him in class, he is probably more comfortable around you then you think. This means, you could write him a note during class asking him if he wants to have lunch with you or if he's doing anything after school, etc. Slip the note under his binder or somewhere only he can find it, then wait for a reply. If he likes you too, he will definitely write back and then you are on your way to hanging out with him outside of school. Once you become good friends with a guy, it is easy peasy to get his number/for him to ask for yours because you'll know eachother better than you do now. So, use a note to start talking independantly with him, see if he wants to hang out with you and then you'll not only get his number, you will become great friends.

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OK! So I have gotten really close to a guy I have known for a year now. He's a little older than me (Junior boy-Freshman girl) and I think he likes me! I'm at the point where I kind of want to start flirting. Physically and verbally. Like breaking the touch barrier a little more (he already broke it) we both are shy for a heads up (he's kind of shy and awkward- its adorable) but he has told me- I am beautiful (twice!) that he doesn't look forward to graduating because he'll be leaving some friends behind, especially me. Also we talk everyday after 5 o'clock (he has a summer job working for his dad) and we have a lot in common (dark music, Egypt-related stuff, writing/ reading and Marching/Concert Band) SO I would love some advice on how to flirt with him (physically/touching him and talking) and I also have one more question. Why is it that when a guy texts/calls you everyday at the same time is a 'sign' that he likes you?? I'm confused/curious about that... Thank you a lot. I have band camp coming up and he says he can't wait to see me! So yeah please help me with flirting advice... I need help!

Ok, considering that he compliments you, you talk everyday and are excited about seeing eachother, it shouldn't be hard to flirt with him. Since he is abit shy, I would start by complimenting him - 'I like your ___ you're wearing today' 'your ___ is sexy' 'I would love to cuddle with you right now', things like that. Physically: touch his leg if you're sitting next to him, walk over and hug him when you catch him looking at you, run your fingers through his hair, hold his hand if you're comfortable with that, offer to give eachother back massages then do it and if he accepts all that I just mentioned, you can then lean in and kiss him.. it's a pleasant surprise for a guy. I personally think cuddling is the best flirtation though (: Ask him if he wants to watch a movie at your place one night or learn to play a new song together - find something you both enjoy and use it as flirting/getting to know eachother more time.


When a guy texts you a lot in general, its usually a sign he likes you. Why? Well, why would a guy want to talk to you so often if he doesn't like you? An if he does it at the same time everyday, that tells me that this guy is making/saving time for you - cuz you're special to him. Everytime you see him, smile and give him a hug. This is a guaranteed way to get you out of the friendzone! :) After a while flirting will just become natural to you. Find out what he likes and you'll be on your way to becoming more than friends. .. (:

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Even writing this is hard. I was dating my ex boyfriend for 6 months, for the first 3 months, everything went so well. We were so close, physically and emotionally. We have been split for 3 months now and all I can do is think about him. The reason we split up is because to me, it seemed as though he was getting really bored and I felt as though he lost interest so fast. We used to argue all the time, and I just got fed up, so I ended it. I changed my number and tried to move on, somehow he still crosses my mind, every day I find myself doing things when I'm really busy, and I still think about him. Sometimes, I can cry for hours about him. I am so deeply in love with him, but I know he's no good. He treated me like crap, and the countless arguments bored me. I've currently just got into a relationship, for about 3 weeks now, to one of my long time friendships. He's amazing, he brings out the best in me, he knows how to treat me & I feel a lot for him. I can't decide, the feelings I have for them both... My ex boyfriend sent me a message, telling me how much I meant to him. It made me cry for endless hours. I'm confused, heartbroken, stressed and I just feel like shutting everything out and moving away.

Female 16.

Hey there, I know how you're feeling. I too dated a guy that seemed right for me, only to end up heartbroken. We were close physically and emotionally as well.. But there tends to be a time when a guys true colors start to show - when you decided to break up with him. You say yourself that you felt as if he lost interest and you argued a lot with eachother; things that are unhealthy in any relationship. You were smart to change your number and try to move on. The only problem left here is your unwillingness to let go of the past...


A while back I dated a guy who I thought was perfect for me. We could talk endlessly, he would make me laugh, we had the same interests and goals, we were best friends. What was once a good friendship eventually turned into dating and then when we realized we were near perfect for eachother, he broke up with me. I'm not telling you this out of pity, but rather for you to learn from the experience. After that day when he broke my heart, I was upset everyday. I cried every day for weeks after and with no contact with him I grew sadder. But then one day I realized he was no good too. He wasted my time and had scarred my heart from the get-go and I had no idea. Your guy was doing the same. He made you fall for him with no intentions of supporting you whatsoever. I'm with a different guy now who is much better for me and so are you. You know it. You can't let go cuz you are caught up in the past. This is unfair to your current boyfriend. The only reason you cried over your ex's text is because he finally realized what he lost and you believe he can change. Hun, it is very rare that a guy will ever change. As the old saying goes: "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." This means you cannot fall for his 'good' text when you know in your heart, you'll go back to arguing with him. This also means that you shouldn't take your current guy for granted, when you say yourself "he brings out the best in me". If he makes you feel great, why would you settle for less? People get out of relationships for good reasons. Realize that it was a good decision. You will be happier with the guy you're with - trust me. And if you ever have any doubts when it comes to two guys, always remember: If you truly loved the first guy, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

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I love thos boy so much but I don't know how to tell him. I don't think he's had experiance with girl so I'm not sure which way to go about it ?

Just talk to him. Talk to him, become his friend, then after you're comfortable with eachother tell him you like him. Dont tell him you love him right away or you may scare him away.

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Hi everyone so I'm 17 years old and my boyfriend is 19 almost 20 and we have been together for over a year and I am obsessed with him. Not in a stalker way or anything but I am so in love with him. I have never had to many friends because I like to stay clear of drama but my best friend is dating my brother so I don't enjoy hanging out with them...and when my boyfriend hangs out with his friends I have nothing to do...ever..unless I'm working. And I don't really like many of his friends ..they're obnoxious immature and rude. What can I do to be less obsessed with him and maybe make a friend. I feel pathetic but my life completely revolves around him..he didn't make it that way ..I did...and I don't know how to adjust it. Thank you!!

Hi there, I know the situation all to well. My best friend dated my brother for years and unfortunately it ended up bringing us further apart and eventually we became distant friends... I haven't had many friends either because people are definitely full of drama which I cannot handle. What you need to do is find something to do when you find yourself bored. Everyone gets bored at some point, but what you have to realize is that you can either: keep complaining and be bored OR do something about it. When I'm not being a workaholic I: draw, listen to music, call a friend to go for a walk, bake something, practice my violin, make plans for next week, watch a movie, find a new outfit, text someone I know can make me smile and just think about the positive things in my life.


To be less obsessed with your guy, you have to learn to make time for yourself. Commit yourself to something for you, just you, every week. Such as painting your nails awesome, making a work out routine for yourself or spending time with a friend/family. As long as your keeping busy you won't find yourself being 'obsessed' and rather 'relaxed' instead. Try dancing in your room with headphones on, taking photos of nature/yourself or even creating a new recipe if that's what makes you happy. Discover what you love and put your time towards that, because the more you enjoy doing the things you love, the more your boyfriend will find you inspiring and dedicated which will make him love you even more than he already does. You can do it girl, start finding yourself today! (:

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me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 months but we've been friends for 2 years. we live in 2 different cities and i only get to seem him once a week. Were both highschool students, and we depend on your parents for rides. when we do hangout we go to the movies or i go to his house. I'm scared that he's going to get tired of us not being together and he'll leave me for someone that he'll be able to see everyday and i feel like he see's me as a friend or something, because sometimes he'll cancel or reschedule to hangout with his bestfriend. He's also made it clear to me that he isn't very affectionate and he doesn't like being loveydovey but it makes me really insecure. i'm not asking him to tell me he loves me.. but to show that he's still interested everyonce in a while. When i do bring that issue up he'll change for that moment and be sweet but then it'll go back to normal back to a simple conversation, ughh he's a simple texter which i hate! he mostly only uses one words.. like "cool" "nice" or "yup", im always the one trying to keep the conversation interesting. i feel like he doesn't care what im talking about. he doesn't even call ..we only text. im always the one asking him to come over and hangout or if im by his house to meet up but sometimes he'll make up an excuse that he can't go out or he doesn't have a ride, it gets me fustrated because i try so hard, i always go over there but he acts like its whatevers.. i even get i arguement with my parents because they tell me to stop looking for him and begging him and that if he really cared he would come over instead of me going over there.. i always ask him if he likes me or if hes bored of our relationship but he says everything is fine, sometimes he'll even get upset when i ask! i want to be honest with him and tell him but i don't want him to think im being dramatic or controlling..
dont get me wrong when we do hangout its an amazing time and i have alot of fun but idk what's going on.. it's more interesting in person than in text. i know he's not cheating, there is some-what trust but i just don't know..
is he tired of not being able to see me? is he tired of this long distance? should i move on?
his last girlfriend cheated on him.. or is he scared of commiting?
i've read all these articales about how to keep him interested and they say to ignore him and make him chase after me but this situation i think if i gave him the cold shoulder he would leave me,

I know ExactlY what you are going through hun! I know because I am going through the same thing right now with my guy... cancelling to hang out with his friends shouldn't always be a sign he doesn't want to hang with you, it could just be that he wants some time by himself/with friends for one day. My guy does this on occasion and as his gf, I have to respect that he needs 'guy days' just as you need 'girl days'. My guy isnt that lovey either and it makes me insecure too.. so ehat you have to do is: let him know. He probably just isnt the 'lovey' type and therefore you have to consider that he may not be the right guy for you :/ We only text too. I think you should not message him for a few days, an if he messages you - congrats you've gained his attention again. Otherwise the obvious solution is to talk to him. Let him know you'd like him to put in a better effort. If he says everything is fine when you confront him, perhaps you have to ask him more serious questions such as: 'do you see us being together long term'? 'What do you enjoy about me'? And 'how do you think we could improve our relationship'? Questions like these will help you solve some of your issues. The keys to successful relationships are: honesty, trust, and communication. If one is lacking, you have to help eachother pick it up. The questions you ask at the end can only be answered by the person in the relationship - you. Give it a few days, if he doesn't message you, message him nicely asking whats been keeping him busy. Then figure out what area your relationship is lacking in and talk to eachother about how you are both going to make it work. How do you know he would leave you? Maybe he just doesn't want to be the one to bring up something that could destroy the relationship. The thing is, talking about your relationship is the only way problems will be resolved. So be brave, hold his hand and let him know how you feel. You will feel better and you both will be on your way to a more positive point in your lives. Stay strong.

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ok so i'm a guy and theres this girl i really like. let's say her name is Ash. i've had 2 girlfriends before but both of the relationships ended because i always ended up liking Ash again. I reallly like her and i don't know what to do. she is very pretty and sort of shows different feelings towards me every day. some days (rarely) she will be super nice to me and sometimes even flirty (:O) but most of the times when i try to talk to her she just shuts me down. the problem is that i cant get her out of my mind and she is literally (legit no joke) on my mind 24/7... and i imagine us going out but the funny thing is that my imagination of when we go out isn't even good. i just dont see the point in relationships because all my past girlfriends we didnt really kiss or even date (yeah ik im a middle schooler it's pretty pointless) so i don't even know what i want. i've never kissed a girl and i skipped a grade and so did she so we're the same age :) so i need help i sometimes even cry over her :( and the fact that i'm sitting here typing a 1500 character plead for help shows how much i like her. also when she talks and like does stuff with other guys i get really jealous and it just breaks my heart

Hey there,
Very sorry for the delayed reply! To answer your question: talk to her! If she's single, you've got to go for it dude! Start small by complimenting something about her every time you see her - shoes, clothes, her smile, how she laughs, her make up, anything! (: Why does she shut you down? Figure out why then try to see if she will grab a drink or food with you sometime in a public place. Offering to go out in public is less awkward for a girl if you're interested in dating her (she doesn't need to know this yet!). Why do you imagine going out with her to be not good? If you imagine it to be bad, then maybe you need to work on some things? Such as, how you present yourself or how you will talk to her.


Just so you know, your past relationships will not determine your future relationships - as long as you know what you need to do to have a successful relationship. The reason why we go through breakups is not so we can mope, but so we can learn from them and know how to be a better person the next time around. Also, it doesn't matter if you haven't kissed a girl. Why? Because your time will come, with the right girl and you will be the happiest guy, trust me (; You both are obviously smart. So find out what you have in common and go with it. Ask her to go for a walk in her favorite place, offer to buy her a drink and/or leave her a short cute note somewhere where she'll find it. As for the jealousy, try not to be. She is single and therefore can talk to whomever she likes, just like you can. The key to getting to know a girl and possibly become her girlfriend is to Always Be Her Friend First. If you remember this, you shall find the right girl and be able to make her yours.

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Hi, I'm 18 Female, and also English is not my first language. Well, this is something that really bothers my mind for weeks now, I have a long distance relationship for almost 3yrs now. I gave my life to him make him feels that I'm just right beside him, makes myself perfect even though I'm not and give all the love and support that I can give, let's say I have given my very best and all I can offer to him, I love him so much, he's the reason why I have to live in this world but these weeks I can feel that something is wrong, something not right, we haven't met, no never only calls and social networks but I do love him so much so I now I can feel that he is lying and whenever I have to interrogate him or confront him about what I feel he's really good in answering and also I love him so I have to trust but I can't keep off of my mind that he's still lying he told me he's enrolled in a school I googled that school and found out that the course that he told me was not in that school, second he told me that he's in the varsity of that school it's summer and almost everyday they have training for about 8am to 8pm which is not normal and awkward that's the things that made me doubt him every night he always shouted at me on phone always mock a fight with me and whenever he does that all I do is to cry and beg so that he won't do it again but he still doing it, I ask him if he lives me, if there is other girls than me, he's always answer is "you only, if I had some other girls here why should I have to call you? To text you?" and I just shut up but still, I can feel that something is not right and I don't know how to figure it out :( What should I do now? :( I'm so scared :(

I feel for you hun. I am in a very simular situation right now. Obviously your guy was lying about the school thing. It is possible that course was cancelled and so he took another course - but you'd have to ask him. Also, 8 - 8 training would be very draining so I agree that is not normal. Maybe he's shouting at you because he has this built up anger about how he feels you doubt him. If you bug a guy alot about whether he loves you or not, he will get defensive. An alot of guys would rather show you how much they love you than by telling you. Ever heard of the saying "actions speak louder than words?", well this expecially applies to males.


I think you need to talk to your boyfriend in a calm and cool situation where you both hear out what eachothers needs are and help eachother come to a simple resolution. I know it's not an easy task, but communication is the only way you'll know for sure. An if he is cheating - a guy will never openly admit it. Right now I am in a long distance relationship and I feel as if he's cheating too. What am I doing to solve this issue? I am talking to him and keeping an eye on him. No, I don't mean 'stalk the guy'. I mean, if you think your guy is cheating watch for warning signs such as: talking to one specific girl (that's not you) alot, becoming distant more emotionally or physically than before and watch for changes in his personality/mood. Of course some of these things can be caused by a bad day or by something that bugged him, but if nothing drastic has happened to him recently - he could be cheating. The main advice I can give is talk to him, watch if he's changed and if all else fails, trust your instincts. Girls are wired with that gut feeling and heavy heart for a reason' your instincts are usually right. I'm just praying that yours and mine are wrong... *hugs dear*. Feel free to inbox me if you'd like to talk more.

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i went to a party and hooked up (made out) with a guy i was very drunk and he was sober. he was even helping me to walk and shit. i was aquintances with the ex but never like good friends. i did want to hook up with him. so i asked him if he and the girl were still together and he said no we broke up. so we hooked up and i dont feel bad about it at all. hes a senior and im a freshman. so his ex texted me the next morning saying back off hes mine and i just said i dont want him you can have him but before that i said sorry because we did used to talk. but they arent even together now or when we hooked up. if anyone she should be yelling at it should be him like did i do anything wrong? everyone keeps telling me i didnt because he was sober and still wanted to hook up. advice? thankss

You are right in that she shouldn't have been mad and the other advisor is right that you should just ignore the ex. His ex was obviously jealous and that's why she said those things, so what happened between you and him is none of her concern if they were actually broken up. Also it doesn't matter if he was sober and you weren't because you said you just made out and it was under both of your consent.


Moral of this is: chalk it up to jealousy and move on. An if you actually like this guy, feel free to be his friend/date etc, because he is single.

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Okay,I'm 13 and my boyfriend will be 16 on July 27 2013. No I'm not going to say "should I have sex with him?" Because we swore off sex at least until I'm 17. What I'm asking is if it's normal. I always get made fun of because of the age difference. I know it's only 3 years but in middle school you usually date someone in the same grade as you. Pleas help me. I don't want to break up with him if its not normal i just was wondering if anyone else is in a relationship like this.

I think your friends make fun of you because 1. They're jealous and 2. It's different for them to see someone younger dating someone older. But do not let this stop you from dating someone you care deeply about. In society today there are billions of people dating other people older annd younger than them, it's just the way love works. So if you love a guy 3, 4 or even 5 years older than you - go for it. As long as you both respect eachother, love one another and are happy together, it's all good. Kudos to you for waiting to have sex. It sounds like you are both good together (:

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We were best friends in kindergarten and i loved him still but i moved far away and now i only have 2ways forget or wait and find him. What sould i do?

It really depends on how far you live from one another and if he loves you. If you live close to one another you could try and wait for him/become best friends again, otherwise you might as well forget. Long distance relationships are hard, expecially to start if he doesn't feel the same way. Just remember that there are a ton of guys out there for you, so be absolutely sure about your feelings for someone - know if its love or lust. Trust your gut and follow your heart, that is one way you'll know for sure.

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There is this guy, we are friends since we started university. He is 23, Im 21. He tried once, when we were freshmen, but he was drunk than and we went to the cinema few times. We get on really well, nothing has even happened between us, but I feel like he uses me. When we are at school and all, or need to study for exams he is always around, we help each other and study together, I literally do everything for him, I saved him from failing so many times. But when it comes to going out, he is only willing to go with his 3 guy friends, he doesnt really care about his friends from uni outside the uni. When he needs help in homework, or studying or anything about school he comes to me, but when there is no school he doesnt even talk to me much..except some on facebook. I know he likes to party and I guess he doesn't want a girlfriend, but than why does he do this to me? I know he likes being with me, I do too, I care about him a lot, but he doesnt really care, which kinda hurts, according to the fact that I do everything he asks. Should I stop doing things for him and helping him? Does he care about me at all? Even if it is just a friendship, I dont really get back anything. I have only been hurt so far, and if he doesn't want anything from me, I stop being so giving, because he takes out a lot of me. I hope this all is not too confusing and hope you can give me some advice, because it hurts. Thank you a lot! K

Hey there,
I believe this guy is using you. Sad, but true. Whenever you do things for someone and they do nothing for you in return, you are unfortunately wasting your time. It is obvious that he uses your good friendship to his advantage so you should definitely stop. By stopping what you're doing for him and explaining to him how you are feeling about this situation, he will begin to realize that he should step up if he wants to continue being friends. He simply does this to you because he knows he can get away with it - because you let him. It's not completely your fault, I know because I'm also the same way. Its human nature for someone like him (helpless), to come to us (the helpers) to fix their problems. So the lesson you will take home from today is that: you cannot let people push you around, even if they are your 'friends'. If you go with your instincts that something is not right then follow though by holding your head up, declaring respect and not giving in - you will not feel this way ever again.


Think about it. If someone is not treating you how you would like to, do you let them walk all over you? No, you stand up, brush the dirt off and move on with your life. Otherwise, you will forever be stuck in a never-ending circle of disappointment. Talk to him, tell him that you don't want to do things gor him with nothing in return and you'll find yourself much happier. You'll see.

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i like this guy but how do i make him unsocially awkward.. because he is. i mean i think hes cute & stuff & is really nice.

I once dated a guy that was socially awkward.. and I have to say, the only way to fix this is to put him in social situations and then help him by explaining what is socially and non-socially awkward to you. Since he is normally like this, he probably doesn't realize what he is doing is making things awkward (or maybe he does?), so you will have to give him a few chances either way... Start by taking him out with you alone and getting used to what kind of person he is in public. Then when you realize what makes him go into his 'awkward' phase, try to help comfort him by letting him know its okay to be 'goofy', 'talk to strangers (clerk or somebody random) or to just be himself. Once you help him with that, then invite him to hang out with you and your friends (if possible). If you're not comfortable with that yet wait a while longer, but if you are - see if he will and then get your friends to help him in social situations as well. Eventually he will be comfortable in all environments.. but first help him individually. Then work your way up with your friends and then finally as a group (with his friends included this time).


A socially awkward guy won't be willing to change his ways right away, but if he thinks you're cute too.. he will be willing to give it a shot. Just have him being comfortable in his own skin is a start to this solution. I believe if you encourage him (tell him he's cute and that he can do this), he will soon feel unawkward around you and (most) everyone else. Give it a shot and feel free to inbox me if you'd like to talk more

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19F 21M
So I have been dating this guy for nearly a year. It has always been the way it is. I have just always tried harder. Our first date I offered to pay because he was out of work at the time. Over the summer I worked a lot more at my job and was getting bigger checks. He would take me out to a movie once a month maybe twice after he started working. But I would loan him money like 50-100 because he would go without food for a day or two sometimes and needed money to hold him over. Well he is on his feet now and I am proud that we stuck through that together. He has a place and his own car and has gotten 2 promotions at work. I always feel a bit taken advantage of though. I usually make him dinner since when he gets home he is exhausted. I watch his little boy when he has to run out. I don't mind it because I love him. I took him out to a really expensive dinner to this fancy sea food place and spent quite a bit of money. If I want to go out I end up having to be the one to suggest it and pay for it or it won't happen. The last time he paid for a date was back in September. I just feel like put in more effort. Lately He has been low on cash and I have been buying him lunch. He won't talk to me all day until he wants food. I give him the cash and then he stops talking to me again. I try so hard to keep it interesting and happy but he never does anything back for me. He didn't do anything for Christmas for me and keeps telling me he will take me out and doesn't. But he always buys himself toys and video games and goes out to the bar. How can I bring it up to him that I feel like he doesn't try? How can I make him want to? I really need help I feel like giving up but we have been through a lot I love his son and family so much and I genuinely love him as well. Advice or anything is appreciated.

By the sounds of it, you are being taken advantage of a bit. If you keep helping him out by giving him money, watching his Son, taking him out.. doing things for him with nothing in return, he'll never learn. You need to let him know you feel taken advantage of Now. Not by saying he sucks or never does anything, but by mentioning that you like it when a guy helps out, offers to pay, or does sweet things for you. Frankly, I feel he has the money and time to treat you like his girlfriend, he just chooses to spend it on his amusement - video games and alcohol instead. There is a point when you need to tell a guy that the connection is lacking and he needs to help pick it up, not only for you, but for his sake as well.


You can make him want to try by encouraging him. Whenever he does do something for you (even if it's little, like kissing you or doing dishes) thank him. When he buys himself toys, mention that you were hoping you could buy something together for the both of you next time and when he drinks, let him know that you love it when he stays home and spends time with you instead. By suggesting these things to him, you let him know you care and want him to care more by doing things that will benefit the both of you.


One thing I thought of that may help you guys, is having a savings jar. Everytime either of you get paid, both be required to put $20 or so in the jar at the same time and not touch it until it reaches a certain amount. Keep track on a paper how much each of you has put in, that way one person doesn't pay more than the other and you know how much money is being put in. Then, when it reaches the agreed amount, decide on something you both can do to make your lifes happier or easier together; Such as, buying food for everyone or having a movie night with popcorn/treats for the two of you. Moral of the story is, if he loves you as much as you love him he should be willing to try anything. If he does not oblige at first, just keep encouraging him. He will do the same once he realizes what it feels like to have praise himself. Honestly I believe a relationship has to work both ways - it cannot be a one way street. Not to mention, he is older than you so he should have a little more responsibility... Wake him up by letting him know how you feel and things should start to turn around. Trust me

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