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I can feel that my long distance relationship boyfriend is lying :(
Hi, I'm 18 Female, and also English is not my first language. Well, this is something that really bothers my mind for weeks now, I have a long distance relationship for almost 3yrs now. I gave my life to him make him feels that I'm just right beside him, makes myself perfect even though I'm not and give all the love and support that I can give, let's say I have given my very best and all I can offer to him, I love him so much, he's the reason why I have to live in this world but these weeks I can feel that something is wrong, something not right, we haven't met, no never only calls and social networks but I do love him so much so I now I can feel that he is lying and whenever I have to interrogate him or confront him about what I feel he's really good in answering and also I love him so I have to trust but I can't keep off of my mind that he's still lying he told me he's enrolled in a school I googled that school and found out that the course that he told me was not in that school, second he told me that he's in the varsity of that school it's summer and almost everyday they have training for about 8am to 8pm which is not normal and awkward that's the things that made me doubt him every night he always shouted at me on phone always mock a fight with me and whenever he does that all I do is to cry and beg so that he won't do it again but he still doing it, I ask him if he lives me, if there is other girls than me, he's always answer is "you only, if I had some other girls here why should I have to call you? To text you?" and I just shut up but still, I can feel that something is not right and I don't know how to figure it out :( What should I do now? :( I'm so scared :(
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I've never been in a relationship where I've never met the guy but I do know that long distance relationships are really hard.
He's lying to you, obviously. I know you care about this guy but he's not treating you right.
I want to say that you love him as a person and who you make him out to be. You don't know him really. You've never met him. You've never seen him around his friends or his family and that shows a lot about a person. You don't know how he speaks to other people or how he treats them. You just don't know how honest he is. You only know what he chooses to tell you.
But enough about that, you're giving your heart to a guy who don't trust. You want to trust him but you know he's lying. If he fights with you on the phone every night, that's not a good relationship. It's unhealthy. He doesn't love you if he makes you cry all the time.
So I don't know how you can figure all this out. You can talk to him but he might get mad. I'm just going to say that you deserve to be happy and he's not making you happy anymore.
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Yes, I believe that even in a long distance or strictly online and phone calls only with a guy that a connection can be established where you can feel and pick up things from the other. I have experienced that twice.
It's not just what you are feeling but You already have proof that he was lying about something that shouldn't be a thing to lie about. I am sure it didnt matter to you what school he was going to and other details. Another thing that doesnt make sense is a person who gets a thrill out of starting a "mock fight' as you described it. And every night? You are not being honest with yourself. There is no "make believe" or pretending with his fighting if it brings you to the point of tears. It's hard to let go of someone your heart still has a connection to when he is mistreating you and lying to you. I have experienced that too. 1st marriage. Thats why it took me 30 yrs to wake up and leave him. Part of it is insecurity of moving one like...will i ever find anything better? Dont let that thought keep you in a relationship that weakens you and brings you down instead of strengthening you and building you up.
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I feel for you hun. I am in a very simular situation right now. Obviously your guy was lying about the school thing. It is possible that course was cancelled and so he took another course - but you'd have to ask him. Also, 8 - 8 training would be very draining so I agree that is not normal. Maybe he's shouting at you because he has this built up anger about how he feels you doubt him. If you bug a guy alot about whether he loves you or not, he will get defensive. An alot of guys would rather show you how much they love you than by telling you. Ever heard of the saying "actions speak louder than words?", well this expecially applies to males.
I think you need to talk to your boyfriend in a calm and cool situation where you both hear out what eachothers needs are and help eachother come to a simple resolution. I know it's not an easy task, but communication is the only way you'll know for sure. An if he is cheating - a guy will never openly admit it. Right now I am in a long distance relationship and I feel as if he's cheating too. What am I doing to solve this issue? I am talking to him and keeping an eye on him. No, I don't mean 'stalk the guy'. I mean, if you think your guy is cheating watch for warning signs such as: talking to one specific girl (that's not you) alot, becoming distant more emotionally or physically than before and watch for changes in his personality/mood. Of course some of these things can be caused by a bad day or by something that bugged him, but if nothing drastic has happened to him recently - he could be cheating. The main advice I can give is talk to him, watch if he's changed and if all else fails, trust your instincts. Girls are wired with that gut feeling and heavy heart for a reason' your instincts are usually right. I'm just praying that yours and mine are wrong... *hugs dear*. Feel free to inbox me if you'd like to talk more.
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