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I don't know what he feels for me, but he hurts me
There is this guy, we are friends since we started university. He is 23, Im 21. He tried once, when we were freshmen, but he was drunk than and we went to the cinema few times. We get on really well, nothing has even happened between us, but I feel like he uses me. When we are at school and all, or need to study for exams he is always around, we help each other and study together, I literally do everything for him, I saved him from failing so many times. But when it comes to going out, he is only willing to go with his 3 guy friends, he doesnt really care about his friends from uni outside the uni. When he needs help in homework, or studying or anything about school he comes to me, but when there is no school he doesnt even talk to me much..except some on facebook. I know he likes to party and I guess he doesn't want a girlfriend, but than why does he do this to me? I know he likes being with me, I do too, I care about him a lot, but he doesnt really care, which kinda hurts, according to the fact that I do everything he asks. Should I stop doing things for him and helping him? Does he care about me at all? Even if it is just a friendship, I dont really get back anything. I have only been hurt so far, and if he doesn't want anything from me, I stop being so giving, because he takes out a lot of me. I hope this all is not too confusing and hope you can give me some advice, because it hurts. Thank you a lot! K
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Hey there,
I believe this guy is using you. Sad, but true. Whenever you do things for someone and they do nothing for you in return, you are unfortunately wasting your time. It is obvious that he uses your good friendship to his advantage so you should definitely stop. By stopping what you're doing for him and explaining to him how you are feeling about this situation, he will begin to realize that he should step up if he wants to continue being friends. He simply does this to you because he knows he can get away with it - because you let him. It's not completely your fault, I know because I'm also the same way. Its human nature for someone like him (helpless), to come to us (the helpers) to fix their problems. So the lesson you will take home from today is that: you cannot let people push you around, even if they are your 'friends'. If you go with your instincts that something is not right then follow though by holding your head up, declaring respect and not giving in - you will not feel this way ever again.
Think about it. If someone is not treating you how you would like to, do you let them walk all over you? No, you stand up, brush the dirt off and move on with your life. Otherwise, you will forever be stuck in a never-ending circle of disappointment. Talk to him, tell him that you don't want to do things gor him with nothing in return and you'll find yourself much happier. You'll see.
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