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My girlfriend is afraid of being in relationship
I am a boy of 23 and My girlfriend likes me since past 7 years and we had been in commitment since last 4 years but due to her fear of being in relationship she breaks with me within 15 days or a month and comes back after 6 months or some gap because she miss me every time also she has been the only girl ever in my life. initially i didn't knew how to handle my relationship and was too much of possessive about her but after 3 years of relation i have changed a lot and want to be with her for rest of my life but again like before her fear for being in relationship haunts her how can i make her understand that i can be the perfect guy and would make her feel special all the time and she need not to be afraid of relationship anymore?
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While your being possessive or other actions of yours may have contributed to some of her fear and disappearance, that may not be all that she is fearing. You really do need to talk. Perhaps there is something in her past, maybe related to home life, family or relatives or even a stranger where something that was traumatic to her occured that has caused her to not trust males and men in general. The reason she keeps coming back is because she truly likes you but something else is causing bad memories to rise to the surface and she gets fearful and leaves. Apologize if you've done something that needs asking for forgivness but if the problem continues for her, she needs counseling to deal with it, because until she does, she is too damaged to be able to handle a relationship.
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I'll first tell you to sit down with her and talk to her. If she has some issues about the past between you two, then you guys need to work that out. You can let her know things are different and tell you you'd like to really be in a relationship with her. If she agrees, then tell her you're not happy with an on and off relationship. You understand she has problems but you've changed and if she wants this, she needs to work on her problems.
If it ends up happening again, don't get back together until she seeks help. She might need professional help with this situation.
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Hi,
From what I read, maybe she thinks you'll be posessive again. My ex broke up with me and now he wants to get back together, an I love him dearly.. but the thought is still there that he'll just do it again. So to put it in different terms: actions really do speak louder than words. If you want her back you have to do it by being that better guy you talk about. Ask her how she is doing, listen to her and most of all - be her friend again. You may not realize it, but girls are scared of commitment simply because they don't want to be hurt. Whatever you do, don't try to force things on her, she just needs a guy to be there for her. It's obvious she still has feelings for you, so be her friend first again, and becoming her boyfriend will come naturally like before.
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