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I really need to start taking my own advice.

advice

alright i am a 16 year old girl turning 17 next month going into my senior year, i feel like everyone in my grade has had sex, i feel a lot of girls feel so nonchalant about it all. I have had a boyfriend and i personally don't think i am ugly, i have never had sex before and i haven't met the right guy i feel i could do that with but i feel kind of insecure i feel that i should of had sex already considering im almost going to college i feel kind of like a loser i don't know i just wanna hear your thoughts on this & what i should do? please no hateful comments :)

Girl, relax :) In reality, there is probably only a handful of people who have actually had sex, rather than a bunch of people that claim they have just to feel cool. And to be honest, some of them who have had sex may regret it because it wasn't with someone they actually love.

There is no reason to have sex with a guy you date in high school, especially if you date him simply because he's available and fun for the time being. Enjoy being young, enjoy being innocent. Think about how much less stressful it is to not be sexually active at this age. You won't have to constantly worry if you may have gotten pregnant. You won't have to worry about getting money, supporting a child, missing out on awesome opportunities. You have so much ahead of you in life, much greater things than meaningless sex with a high school boyfriend.

I have nothing against sex what so ever, so I'm not speaking to promote prudence. I support sex in loving relationships. So, if you are in love with someone, and in a comfortable, stable, and loving relationship, AND you feel ready, then sex may only benefit your feelings.

But, if having sex is more like something to do on your How-To-Be-Cool-List, then hold off. The time will come when the time comes. For now, be young, be fun, love. :)

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Boys don't like me. Well i'm pretty sure they don't. None have ever asked me out and friends tell me i'm pretty but then why don't i have a boyfriend? is it because i don't know how to flirt? i've never even had a first kiss or anything. whats wrong with me? i'm 16 .

I'd say a lot of boys just don't have a clue. I have a bunch of friends with this problem. My only suggestion? Start being outgoing! Talk to people, learn to start up conversation and keep it going. Start talking to guys. It doesn't even have to be guys you're interested in, just start talking to a range of people to get your bearings. You can google flirting tips and get hundreds of helpful hints. Pick out a few and test them out on a guy. When you become comfortable with a flirty attitude, go for a guy that you are interested in! If he sees you're interested in him, he's more likely to ask you out. Don't ever be afraid to ask a guy to hang out. Stuff like first kisses don't happen at school, so you've got to get that one-on-one or even group time outside of school with him! The worst a guy can do when you ask him out is say 'no.' Believe me, it'll happen. It happens to everyone. But pick your pride up, smile, and just keep talking to people. Don't rush things just so you can say that you've had your first kiss or your first time or whatever. Take things slow, stay outgoing, and think positive :)

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15/f
I masturbate like twice a week and watch porn sometimes. I feel really bad about it tho. My friends probably don't do it at all but I can't help it. Sometimes I'm just so horny I need to, or sometimes I can't fall asleep. I also get really turned on by lesbian porn more than any other porn. Is this normal? I like guys but sometimes I fantasize about girls am I a lesbian?
thanks

You're perfectly normal :) We all go through this, it happens to the best of us. The only time masturbation becomes a problem is when it takes over your life, as in you avoid hanging out with your friends, ignore your homework, or skip practice to pleasure yourself instead. And pretty much whatever turns you on is fine as well as long its not some illegal kiddy porn stuff. Different things stimulate different people. This does not make you a lesbian. In fact, I'd guess about 2/3 of girls get horny from girl-on-girl pornography.

Just relax, you're 15 and this is very normal.
Kymmy :)

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13 almost 14f
i get REALLY turned on when i smell dudes clone. is this normal or strange?

thanks(:

Normal, it happens to the best of us :)
Mmm.

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hey

mm i was just wondering what scents do guys like on girls??I know odd question but i just wonder what would my bf like lol thanks!

I wear Fantasy by Britney Spears and guys are always giving me compliments on it. It smells a little sweet, so try not to over do it if you decide to try it out! :)

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my boyfriend was hurt in the past by his ex girlfriend he was in love with her and thought that she felt the same way until she had sex with another guy,: how do i convince and get him to realize i won't do that to him i won't hurt him?

It'll probably take a while to get the message through to him- so be patient :)

Show him your trusting by not being flirtatious around other men. Some girls, I'm guilty of it as well, flirt with men we see in public such as a cashier, waiter etc. just out of habit. Try to watch that, I've had boyfriends pay attention to that & it caused many arguments.

Listen to what he has to say, keep his secrets, and be loyal to him. Really, its small things that, over time, will show him that you are indeed not the same as the girl he used to date. Remind him now and again that he's the only man in your life. Be open and honest with him about everything you can be just to help that bond build even stronger.

Good luck! :)

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Hello.
There is this boy who I've been talking to for about a month or so.He seemed really interested in me and would text and talk to me ALOT.I mean like we'd be texting for like 12 hours.I went on a trip for about 2 weeks and he texted me every single day and i was excited to see him when I got back.When I got back,we talked and hungout and whatnot.He seemed like he liked me.Until recently when he started hanging out with me and my friends as well he told me that he only wanted to be friends and that it would be awkward if we were any more than friends around "everyone else". I think that he just got so comfortable in my group of friends that he started seeing me like a friend! He stopped talking to me as much and began treating me differently(like a friend).
I want to get back to what we were at! Can I get out of the friend zone?
Thank you!

I'm having the exact same problem right now, and I know it sucks. I don't quite have the guts to follow my own advice at this point, but I hope you might.

Try hanging out with him again one-on-one. This kind of setting can set you up for the more romantic appeal. Take that time to be flirty. Laugh at what he says, touch his arm or hand every once in a while, casually bump into his arm if you want to hold hands, and really listen to what he has to say.

Hopefully, this will restore that more flirty relationship you two seemed to have. At that point, let him know you're interested. Kiss him on the cheek goodnight or just flat out tell him, "I kinda like you as more than a friend," that kind of thing.

Best of luck :)

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So last night I had a small get together with me my best friend the guy I like and a few other friends, we were playing truth or dare and I got dared to kiss the guy I like, later one of my friends told the guy I really enjoyed the kiss(he knows I like him) and then I found out the guy I like likes my best friend....I talked to them both and they both told me they were sorry it happend, and after my bff left this morning I've been crying over this, I talked to my friend and after I told her I couldn't talk to her cuz I didn't want her to feel bad(she said she did last night) she said she had to go an think about some things. And I can't help but blame myself for all of this and I don't kno what to do, so idk just any advice on how to fix this or get my mind off of it would be great.

I'm slightly confused by your question.
But I'm going to answer if by how I understood it.
I apologize if I don't get everything right.

You like this guy, we'll name him Mike.
You kissed him last night as a dare, but he likes your best friend, we'll call her Sarah. But now, you're upset because 1. Mike likes Sarah and 2. Sarah is upset because you like him too.

My advice would be to talk to Sarah. Let her know how you feel- but be honest. Don't tell her "Oh, I'm okay with you guys dating" if you're not. That's just going to mess things up in the future. Tell her how you feel, and talk to her about how you guys can solve this. If she's truly your best friend, she'll respect your feelings.

In the meantime, try to focus on other guys. I'm sure there are others that can be just as great as Mike. Time heals all wounds. And maybe when those wounds are healed, you can tell Sarah, & maybe things will work out between her and Mike, even if they didn't work out with you and him.

Good luck,
Kymmy

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Hi!
13/f

Well, I just recently talked to my first boy friend from like 2nd grade and we technically didn't call each other that but ...we were. Well, his name is Andrew and he's a nice guy. Well, I really have a big crush on him now...even though we just started talking on Sunday. Well, today I asked him if he had a girl friend he said " No". I was nervous to ask him ..but he made me . Well, I told him that I didn't have one and he said " Cool". Well I told him I liked him and he said " Oh, we don't even know each other much". I told him that I knew that and I think we should be friends for now until we get to know each other and than we can go out or something and he said that sounded good. So, I was wondering if we would eventually go out. We have A LOT in common. It surprised me how much. Well, I asked him if he remembers much from when we were young and he said " yaaa , kinda". Well if he did he should of remembered that we almost kissed...but lol his mom ruined the moment...she opend the door soon as his face was up to mine. We had so much fun together...so do you think he'll eventually remember all that stuff? Do you think we could go out ? What should I do to keep patient?

Thanks!!

Oh, and I'll rate fair!

Of course, no one on an advice website can accurately predict whether or not you and this boy will eventually date. But, this sounds a lot like a lot of situations my friends have gone through, so I'm happy to help you out.

You can't make someone like you. But, before you lose hope, you can be his friend. So far, he's made that clear that he's interested in being friends. So be his friend! Hang out, play videos games, go for walks, go grab something to eat, hang out in groups of people- make memories & a connection. Make it a point to get to know him better. Find out his likes/dislikes, pet peeves, dreams, goals, best friends, his family, his favorite things to do. He sounds like he wants to get to know you better, so work on that first! You can be flirty, but don't lay it on thick. You don't want to scare him off early. The more of a connection that you two make, the more flirty-er you can be.

After a few times of hanging out and making a connection, then you can reminisce about the past. But then again, it was 2nd grade so you can't blame him for not remembering everything :)

Good luck!
Kymmy

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My best friend is trying to set me up with her cousin, but i don't know him . she gave him my number and he texts me everyday but I'm not sure what to talk to him about. We don't even go to the same school.

Don't worry about "having" to like him just because your friend gave him your phone number. No pressure.
That being said, just talk! "Hey, whats up? Do you play any sports? What kinda music are you into? Etc." Just normal conversation.

Good luck
Kymmy :)

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Can anyone give me like a list of ways to flirt with guys..some without being completely obvious. And if guys actually think its cute and like it..cause i know some ways really annoy them.
Thanks!

This site helped me a ton when I first started dealing with boys.

http://myjellybean.com/guys/flirting/flirting.htm

Good luck
Kymmy :)

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All I would like to know is, what is your opinion on finding love online? It could be an actual dating site or just random falling in love, didnt see it coming. Do you believe it can be true love if you have never even met or talked to the person besides online? Or do you think that there is no possible way?

One more question...
Do you believe you can fall in love at any age?

Thanks!!

People say you can't fall in love with someone you met online because you've never seen them. Have you ever heard of the famous quote, "Love is blind"?
Love is a mystery, so one person's opinion doesn't dictate the rules of love. It can happen any way.
Personally, I could easily become very interested in someone I met online, but love would develop more when I spent personal time with them and saw how they acted in real life. I'm pretty picky.

My brother met his girlfriend online. They dated for three years and he proposed a few weeks ago, they're set to be married soon.

Anything can happen.
Good luck
Kymmy :)

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hi. my boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 months now. I am not sure about my feelings right now but i think i am not happy anymore with our relp. I don't know but until now he hasn't even let me check his cellphone. Not that it's his obligation to fetch me after school or buy me simple gifts but he hasn't done any of that until now. I am happy when im with him but he's not putting too much effort in our relp for it work and stay strong. i haven't talked about it with him coz maybe it's just his personality that he's not expressive but im starting to get used to it. Another thing, when some girls admit that they like him, he entertains them. and is it ok for him to call them Babe? do guys are really born flirts? I'm afraid that he's pushing me away and i might lose him. But i can't take it anymore. One time, he doesn't call or text me for a day. As if he doesn't care about my feelings...

Pls. Help. My relp is on the rocks!


thanks!


~yssa

You might not like my answer, but I'm not here to tell you what you want to hear- I'm here to help.

You can't expect a guy to be OK with you checking his cell phone. A phone is private. Trust is imperative in a relationship. My demanding to check his phone is an invasion of privacy and a loop in that trust. Like you said, you can't expect him to pick you up when you need to or buy you gifts. Sure, its nice. But its not mandatory to show someone you care about them.

But now, for the other girls. Having my guy call another girl "babe" would piss me off. I don't think that's okay. If he is friends with these girls and its harmless, I'd have no problem with it. But if this guy is going out of his way to be flirty with girls he KNOWS are interested in him- that's bull crap.

My recommendation?
Talk to him. I know, it sucks. But you gotta do it. I'll help you out. "*Name*, its bothering me that you keep making a point to flirt with other girls. If you don't mean to, its cool. I just hate when you do it, it makes me feel like you don't care about me." That should get you started.

Good Luck
Kymmy :)

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Two weeks ago I invited 7 camp friends for a dinner party which I had last night. One of these people is a guy I like who worked in the same group as me and my best friend this past summer at camp (he sort of knew I like him, [long story] and I’m not sure if he still thinks it but I’m pretty sure he didn’t like me back but everything worked out cause we talked about it and we’re still friends even though it was sort of awkward for a couple days). I sent an email invitation to all the people I was inviting in the same message on Facebook so I wouldn’t have to send a bunch of different emails. People were sending messages back & forth within the message so I know he saw this invitation. Everybody answered within about 4-5 days after I sent it except for him. I sent him a separate message a week after I invited everybody asking if he was coming, and he never answered. Two days before the party, I asked my best friend to ask him, and he never answered her, and he was online all day so I’m sure he saw it. Some of my other friends and my cousin advised me not to say anything else to him, saying if he didn’t end up coming it was his loss, or I’d just be pissing him off if I kept bothering him. He didn’t show up last night. I briefly checked AIM during the night several times when nothing much was going & saw that he was on AIM, not away or idle, each time I checked. When I told some of my camp friends about it they were surprised saying that that’s not like him, and I do agree, because he is a really, really nice person, we’re still friends, and we always had fun working together during camp. I was also confused because I invited him to my birthday party a month ago that he legitimately wasn’t able to make it, but said something to me about it. I’m very confused and disappointed about why he ignored my invitation, didn’t show up, and sat on the computer all day instead. I know he doesn’t hate me and we’re friends, and I’m sure he would’ve wanted to see other camp people too. What might be a possible reason someone would do that? Should I confront him?
I apologize that this is long, I’m a really detailed person!

There could be a few reasons.
1) He could have actually not got the messages like you said. It seems somewhat unlikely however.

2) There may be another girl. He might not know how to break the news to you, so ignoring you was his next best idea.

I'd give it a few days. I'd say about a week then try to call him (if you have his number). Don't be accusing, don't harass him if he doesn't answer. A simple voicemail "Hey *name*! I invited you to a camp dinner but when you didn't answer I got kinda worried. Anyways, just checking up on you. Talk to you later, miss you bye!" Simple. Short. Sweet.

Good Luck :)

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My boyfriend doesnt call me when I ask him too. He always yells at me about something. He hurts my feelings 24/7 and expects me to wait on him hand and foot. I do everything for him and yet that still isnt enough. everything he has iv bought it. I feel worthless and I get stressed out with him and we get into screaming fights because he wont let me do what I want but I have to let him do what he wants. He used to be friends with this guy and I cheated on my boyfriend with him like 2 years ago. I know it was wrong and I admitted it but this "friend" of his keeps lying to him. and everyone thinks im the liar. What should I do?

It sounds to me like your question has already been answered in itself. This guy is a jackass, you don't need an advice site to point that out.

Yeah, its going to be hard- I get it. But this guy doesn't need to be in your life. If you're in a relationship and a guy makes you feel worthless-get out. No body deserves to feel like they're not worthy, especially when it comes to love.

You can't change peoples' minds if they assume you're a liar. They've heard what they've heard. Now, you can just focus on always telling the truth until things blow over. Eventually, one day you can tell people "Yeah, the guy took things too far and made up some lies. It sucked a lot, but its life and I'm glad you trust me again."

Good luck
Kymmy :)

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We have been together 10 months. After 3 months we told each other we love each other. 2 days ago he told me he didn't know whether or not he was in love with me anymore. he still wants to be with me, and let me just say that saying i'm madly in love with him is an understatement. should we end it or wait this out?

This is a personal call.
A random stranger on an advice site can't magically give you an answer that's going to make everything perfect in this relationship again. Not to be rude, I'm just giving you a realist expectation for anyone's answer.

My personal opinion, give it a little time. Maybe he's just hit a rough spot, no need to get hasty and dramatic and throw everything away on a whim. I'd say 2-3weeks.
There is always the "break". Personally, I'm not a fan. With my breakups, I've experienced that I have to be completely isolated from the guy in order for me to find out if I really want another shot or not.
So, like I said. Give it a little time. 2-3 weeks, see how things are. If he's still undecided, you should call things off. It wouldn't be fair for you to be stuck in a one-way relationship. No one should be put in that situation.
Maybe once you two spend time apart or with other people, it'll become more evident what you both desire. To be together-or to move on?

Good luck.
Kymmy :)

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okayyyy so when me and my boyfriend make out its really wet. (as in spit) the actual kiss is good but it always seems like its abnormally wet compared to like movies and stuff. is this normal? or do we need to change how we kiss?

Wet, messy kisses can sometimes just totally ruin the moment. On the other hand, some people enjoy them. Either way, its totally normal.

If you'd like to calm down the messy-ness, try this. Swallow before you start kissing, try swallowing while kissing to. You can easily pull your lips back for a second to swallow then continue. When using your tongue, try not to shove your spit in with your tongue. Thats pretty hard to explain, but just be aware if things are starting to get really wet to try swallowing a little more often.

If you're comfortable with it, you can ask your boyfriend to swallow a little bit more to help out.

Good luck.

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alright so heres the deal me and my bestfriend are both not bad looking girls so we're confused on why no boys are asking us out, all they want to do is hook up, while we're looking for relationships. We've seen girls that arent that pretty even get boyfriends, so we have no idea whats going wrong.... do you have any ideas on how we can get boys to i dont know actually go out with us? haha thanks.

This exact problem has been driving me crazy lately as well! I think I've come to a conclusion.

If you give the boys the option of a hook up, that's all they're going to want.

Think about it: Making out, sex, or whatever you do with him, WITHOUT having to worry about your feelings or without commitment. Its practically a guy's dream, especially if you're in high school.

It really sucks, its really hard to wait for a guy that actually wants a relationship, but you have to do it to an extent. When you talk to guys, be flirty and be sweet. But if they ask to hook up just be like "Nah, I'm not into that." You can keep flirting with them if you're still interested, and eventually if the guy really likes your personality and you, he'll ask you to be his girlfriend. He'll have so much more respect for you, trust me.

Let me know if you need anything else!
:]

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i get weird when a guy wants to make out when people are around like at a house,park,or with friends around.I feel like their watching and judging me like i'm a bad person or something.When i see people make out around me it's awkward.Small pecks are fine,but making out around people is awkward for me.I feel like making out should be a private thing.So when a guy tries to kiss me,i like tense up and dont want to kiss,when i really do just not when people are around,am i weird in thinking that?? because i feel like the only one lol

thanks in advance!

Nah, you're totally 100% normal. :)
Lol some people just like to be a little more private about their own lives. That's perfectly fine.

Next time a guy leans in to make out with you at a time when you're not comfortable, kiss him gently once. Pull away and say, "Later" with a smile on your face. He'll get the point and be totally looking forward to 'later'.

:)

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16 f

How do you know when a guy is trying to get inside your pants? Like what are the signs that lead to this conclusion?

Him telling you exactly what you want to hear.
Bringing up sex on a regular basis.

Frequently asking your beliefs on sex and/or talking to you about his friend's sex lives.

Physically trying to put his hands in your shirt and/or pants.

Telling you he loves you, you're his first true love, he wants to spend his life with you very soon in the relationship.

Him talking to your friends or anyone in general about your sex life.

Good luck

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