Gender:
FemaleMember Since:
June 26, 2006Answers:
56Last Update:
September 13, 2008Visitors:
4234Favorite Columnists
killerface
duudee_advicer
about
I'm Amanda. I'm here to help you out, so if you need something then ask me. I specialize in problems dealing with mental health, seeing as I've got quite a few of those myself.
I took a break from advicenators, but I'm back and better than ever.
I have too much life experience for someone my age. Some people view that as bad. I don't really see anything wrong with it.
I'm practical and I'll tell you the truth straight up. So ask away lovelies, I'll be here all week. :]
advice
17, F.
Ok so I want to go on birth control, either pills or the injection, but i'm too shy to go on my own. I'm not very good with walking into places on my own, its a nervous thing, that I just can't help.
I can't really ask my mum to take me, because she doesn't know im sexually active, I haven't got a friend that will go with me either..
What can i do?
Also what do I say when I ring up? Do i ring my doctor, or the sexual health clinic? :S
I'm 15 and also on birth control. When I first became sexually active I immediately wanted to be put on the pill as a precaution but like you, I was terrified of what my mom would think.
The wonderful thing about birth control is though, it has other advantages than just preventing pregnancy. Which is the argument I put up to my mom. Birth control clears your skin, makes your periods shorter, and makes your premenstrual symptoms alot less intense. Try talking your mom about any or all of those benefits and maybe leave out the part about how you also don't want to get pregnant.
It took a while for my mom to come around purely based on those reasons but eventually she did and I've been on the pill since April.
If you're absolutely not comfortable with telling your mom anything of the sort then I would reccomend a sexual health clinic. They are sworn to confidentiality where as some doctors aren't simply because your parents pay the insurance. Places like Planned Parenthood have free samples of birth control(though if you want to make it a monthly routine at some point you will probably have to begin a regular prescription) so I would suggest checking out one of those. As for when you get there, most places accept walk in appointments and if not just explain to the person working the desk that you're interested in learning more about birth control options and schedule a return date.
Best of luck! :)
I have a problem. Well actually, my friend has a problem. She's been drinking and doing drugs and she is ruining her life. I keep trying to talk her out of it, but she just keeps doing it. She is really smart, but she's just going down the wrong path. What can i do to make her stop and get it through to her that she's being stupid?
You just have to keep supporting her and trying to get through to her.
What she needs is a wake-up call. She needs a reason to stop doing stuff like that, or she's never going to. She has to want to change. Because when it comes down to it, you can say all you want. But the change has to come from inside her. If it starts getting really out of hand, you might want to consider notifying a parent or an adult you really trust.
I wish you the best of luck, let me know how it goes!
Alright, well me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 months. When christmas comes, it will be almost 5. We've been together for a long time and we talked for awhile before we became officaial. I really don't know what to get him for christmas. I'm really the type of person to go all out, because that's what he's going to do. For his birthday I got him a build-a-bear, but that was before we were even going out. For our anniversaries, I always make him something, buy him something, and usualy write him a heart felt note or a poem. I'm really really good with words, and he loves when I write to him. I want to get him soemthnig nice. Writting just a note won't be enough, becuase I write to him all the time. We always wrtie to eachother.
He's really into BMX and his favorite thing is snowboarding. He just loves extreme sprots, but I mena I can't really do anything with that. I want to get him something that will show how much I really love and care about him.
PLEASE HELP ME WITH SOME CUTE IDEAS!
THANKS!
girls and especiall guys opinions are welcome!
Hmm. Simply because of the fact that he loves snowboarding and BMX you might consider a gift certificate to PacSun or a store that sells snowboarding gear. That alone would show that you obviously care about what he likes. But I would pair it with like, an extra special dinner between the two of you or maybe surprise him and go deliver your gift to him at his house on Christmas. If you want to totally trash my ideas that's okay, I'm kind of sleepy right now. But I would also drop like subtle questions and get an idea of something he REALLY wants then see if you can make it happen. He sounds like a sweetheart, and I'm sure just being with you feels like Christmas to him. :)
Best of luck, let me know how it goes!
My boyfriend and i always fight and argue and im so sick of it and i always end up in tears i hate it so much :( ok well this what happened yesterday and i need help.
Well My boyfriend lets name him John and his friends name bob ok Bob is my boyfriends friend and Bob was flirting with me the day before and next week im going out and
Bob-Im comming
Me- lol COME COME
Bob-lol i will
Me-bring JOHN xD
Bob- lol
Me-BRING HIM !
Bob-I think i should i will
Anyways ok and his friend asked for my number but i didn't give my number and he was just kinda flirty
So i told my boyfriend the story and he got mad at me ='[ and i love him so much loosing him is like loosing my life ='[ and i know if i talk to him it's just gonna end in a fight and i dont think his gonna go on msn now and when i text he dosnt text back and im not calling so dont tell me to call him but i just really want to talk to him and sometimes we just argue over the most stupidest things any help and also any advice on how to stop our little arguments ='[ ?
Sorry it's long.
I'm in the same situation with my boyfriend right now. It really sucks. :(
I think the best thing to do would be to find some way to talk to him. It sounds like he's got some jealousy issues. You've just got to make sure he knows that he's the only one you care about and not his friend 'Bob'. If he really loves you, he'll trust your word and maybe stop picking fights as much.
Good luck, let me know how it goes!
Where can I find a knit sweater coat like this?
http://i8.tinypic.com/6ahx2dl.jpg
not exact thing
but something cheap preferably with small buttons.
I don't know where to find any. I **dont** want those fancy, chic, in style expensive things. Something cute, you know?
I got something like that at Charlotte Russe on sale for seven dollars. So I would check there. American Eagle might also have something like that now that it's starting to turn colder out. Thrift stores are good places to look through.
It's a very cute choice, I like your style. :)
Good luck!
my friends boyfriend wants to eat her out... but shes embarressed cause she thinks she'll taste bad or smell or something.. and i don't know what to tell her. Advice please?
First off, don't let her do anything she's not comfortable doing. If she's not ready for that, then she shouldn't be pressured into doing so.
But if she's positive she wants to, then just tell her to make sure she's clean around that area. I think everyone pretty much tastes the same so she shouldn't really be worried about that.
If her boyfriend really cared about her then he wouldn't care or say anything if she was "unclean" or "tasted bad".
Good luck to both of you!
Where can I get a good branch of skinny jeans that arn't too expensive?
I checked Forever 21, but maybe I didn't look hard enough.
14/f
It depends what your definition of expensive is.
They sell skinny jeans at Hollister and PacSun for around forty dollars.
I'm pretty sure they sell them at Wet Seal for somewhere between twenty and thirty dollars.
Also another place to check would be places like Macy's or JC Penny.
Good luck!
what is the difference between stride and pace? and i had my first cross country practice today & im a little sore, so any tips on getting the soreness to go away quickly?
Stride is like the length you move your legs when you run, where as pace is more of the speed you run.
The only thing I can think of to help with soreness is take an ibuprofen and run a hot bath. Your muscles will get used to running long distances surprisingly quickly, so just keep at it and before you know it, you'll be running 5 miles with ease.
Good luck!
Im 5'2 1/2 and I weigh 102 pounds! THATS NOT FAT RIGHT!?I relay dont know who to talk to.
I migt be anorexic or something because people tell me thats little, but I still feel big for some reason...
That's nowhere close to being fat. And the weight you say you are isn't like super skinny for your height either. You're fine the way you are, you don't need to lose weight even if you feel like you're huge. Talk to a doctor if you're still concerned, but I think you'll be fine.
Good luck!
Hi i'm a 14 year old female and i have never had my period before and i was always told taht you can NEVER get pregnant. So how can atht happen.
And also when you have sex for the first time and you have NEVER had your period like me won't it hurt. Like my mom told me taht you can't hav sex because you don't have the natural lubracante so if you do have sex it will rip your insides and you can't have kids or it would hurt really really bad.
It's true that you can't get pregnant if you've never had your period. The adolescent stage of puberty is when the reproductive organs develop and you get your period. Without these organs, it's impossible to reproduce.
I don't know anything about the natural lubrication, but I would think your mom would be somewhat correct on that matter.
Overall, I don't think sex would be a good idea. You're fourteen! There's plenty of time for that later, when you're more sure of what you want to do with your life. Generally guys and girls aren't mentally developed enough to handle the strings that come with sex. Just wait it out and enjoy life!
Hope I helped!
Is bi curious another word for homosexual?
I mean can a man like dick and still be straight?
I personally believe it's for people who are just afraid to admit they are gay in the first place.
Bi curious is generally associated with people who are generally sure of their sexuality, but curious about same-sex experiences.
When "a man likes a dick but is still straight" it's called bisexual. It means that someone feels attraction to members of both genders.
These are the general definitions that most people use, but you're perfectly entitled to believe what you do.
Hope I helped!
i've been molested, as a child. it happened often and i've tried so hard to block it out but now i feel like it defines me. nobody knows, i can't say anything nobody will believe me. everybody will hate me. he ruined me. i picture how my life would be if it never happened, the way i am now is horrible. i make so many mistakes just trying to make myself feel better but nothing works. i dont know what to do, i cant talk to anybody. im 16, this happened the summer going into 5th grade then into the year.
nothing makes it go away i don't know what to do i want to die so badly.
You can't let the person who molested you win. I know just how hard it is to overcome something like that, as I was faced with a similar situation last summer. I actually became so angry with the person, that I shut out everyone around me and told my family I hated them.
They put me into psychiatric treatment, where I then told them about the events that had taken place over the summer. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
You need to tell someone you trust, if you don't, you'll only feel worse and worse. No one should ever have to go through anything like that, and I'm so sorry that you did, but believe me, no one will hate you. They'll hate the person who did that TO you.
Someone needs to get you help and fast. Suicide is not the answer. Talk to someone who has experienced what you're going through. It helps to have someone who understands.
Stay strong, everything will work out in the end.
And if you ever need anything else, [someone to talk to for example] don't hesitate to message me.
x Amanda
So I love my boyfriend very much. When something is wrong with me, I cannot open up to him. I have tried SO hard and I cant even force myself to say antyhign and it causes so many problems and guilt. He thinks its because my last relationship was abusive emotionally and so i just shut down. How can I fix this? I want to takl to him about everything!
It's completely understandable why you wouldn't be able to open up to your boyfriend considering your past relationship. You say he's aware of it? I suggest talking to him. Tell him that you WANT to open up and talk to him, but it's hard. If he loves you as much as you love him, he'll probably be willing to help you overcome this obstacle. It'll make your relationship alot stronger. Best of luck!
please help-
my weight was 124 (5'3, 14 yrs old) in the begining of the year. by april i got to 115 with healthy eating and running/exercising. then it was 110 in june for my physical. now my scale shows me between 100-105 though my scale is off a little. i don't feel like i do, but my friend who was annorexic and knows alot about it tells me she thinks i have an eating disorder. alot of people tell me im skinny and look real thin. my friends mom tells me i need to eat im getting to thin, and a few other people too. i dont think i do really. i eat good in my opinion. i eat portion sizes, like with my cereal and meats and stuff. i eat alot of fruits and veggies. i haven't had a candy bar in months, and on speical occasions i have cake for parties, or desserts but never over my limit. i do exercise.. cheerleading, bike riding alot, running sometimes, i exercise with crunches in my room all the time. when i wake up and push my stomach out it doesn't even go very far. but still i haven't had my period since the begining of april and it was really light for like 3 days. i get really dizy when i get up from laying down (my mom says i might need more iron). i dont know if i have manutrition because i do eat alot of good food. i still want to be thinner sorta, but mainly i just have this biggest fear of gaining weight. i have a weird issue with looking at every food (wheather at parties, houses, my kitchen, stores) and seeing the labels and deciding what i can and can't have. i dont know if i should tell my mom to take me to the doctor or not, i dont know how to tell her. also at times i have zero energy like im so tired i can't move around or whatever. im not sure. someone please help.. anything is appericated.
The advicer below me is right, you need to get your weight back up. It sounds like you have some definite symptoms, but only a professional will be able to diagnose you. I suggest talking to your mom about seeing a counselor who can in turn reccomend you to a nutritionist or a doctor.
The fact that you show some fear about gaining weight and you haven't had your period for months aren't good signs. Just keep your head up and do what you know is right in your heart.
Best of luck!
my fiance attempted suicide after his business collasped and financial difficulties putting a huge stress on our relationship over a period of a year, he was admitted to a pyhsciatric hospital voluntary for approx 3 wks. I hv visited on a couple of occasions but find it really difficult, l dont know what to say or do, l want to give him a cuddle but find it really difficult. I hate going to the hospital and l just dont know how to handle this whole situation, l think about what it will be like when he comes home, how will l handle that, l think will it ever be the same again, l would like to know how other people handle this situation please and would appreciate any advice. THANKYOU
I'm really sorry to hear about that. Suicide in any form is incredibly difficult to deal with. Right now, there's not much you can do except be there for him in whatever way he needs. Try and make him feel comfortable and relaxed. It's going to be hard for him to come home as well. You're right in saying things will never be the same, but you can make them better. Just be the best person you can be towards him and don't pressure him into talking or anything. Listen. Alot of times, people just want someone to listen. Not speak or give advice, just sit there and hear what they have to say.
I wish you both the best of luck!
ok well i ended my period on june 14 and i had sex near the end of june i had unprotected sex and well i had signs of being pregnant 2 weeks after wards but thinking it was just nerves and well i had my period july 1 and that is only like 17 days since my last period the weird thing was though is my period would stop for one day and then come again the next it was weird and light at times it came really short and didn't last very long at all and i read on the internet is that after you have sex if you get pregnant then you will bleed about 10-14 days after wards because that is the egg atacting to the uterious or whatever and it was 11 days after wards that i had my period but it said also that it could seem like a period but isn't and well now i feel sick and my stomach feels weird and im really sleepy
could any of this mean that i am pregnant i need advice fast
Well generally if you get your period after you've had sex, it means you're not pregnant. But I would get to a drug store and buy a test as soon as you can. You don't want to take any chances.
Good luck!
how do i hide everything including freinds and how many friends i have. i dont know the code. thanksss
Try googling "myspace codes to hide friends" and whatever else you want to hide. Not all the codes work but you should come up with tons of results. Good luck!
im 14 ...ok i've read like 1000 answers to how to make out and it all seems so weird the whole tounge action and i dont know i never made out before but i really wanna wit my b.f and he did it like 20 thousands times and im really scared cuz i dont no how and the other answers to like" put ur tounge in " really like dicussed me ..so i need some help !!!! and quick
You can't be expected to be a kissing expert at the age of 14. It's completely understandable why you would be nervous and scared considering you've never done that before. No one can really tell you how to make out seeing as everyone has their own style. Just go with the flow and what feels right for you. I would avoid the teeth and focus more on teasing his tongue with yours. Run your hands through his hair and up and down his arms. Make it feel comfortable. And don't be pressured into anything you don't want to do.
Good luck!
Ok, so sorry this is going to be long but i REALLY need hellp...
So, this year i started at a new private school.
i made friends quick, but since my school is pretty exclusive, there were only 26 people in the whole 7th grade.
Which means there was only like 10 girls in the class, and 7 of them are very odd, and i DO NOT like them.
so everyone thought of me as "the queen bee" and 2 of my best friends my "drones". i was in a fight with one of my friends for a little bit but thn we became BEST friends again, since someone had een manipulating both of us.
So it was ME, and "M" and "G".
G had ALWAYS been there for me, she was new too, but when i found out she wasn't going to my school the next year sso i became kind of bitchy, but whatevr.
soon, when school ended, and summer started, we weren't friends anymore.
however, i still had MANY friends, but i barley see them but thwatver.
ok so now, im not trying to be a concieted bitch but i am pretty, rich, come from a good family, and have everything i want!
but...for some reaason, im not happy :[
why can`t i be happy???????
i mean i have EVERYTHING!
oh and if it helps, my mom goes in and out of the country very often because of her different buisnesses, but i dont really care & my dad works all day [he owns lots of places].
someone please help me!
whaat is wrong with me?!
what can i do...?
thank you soo much & i`ll love you forever [lol] if you help me!
thanks so much
It's not your fault that you can't be happy. I believe that the environment you grow up in has alot less to do with whether or not you're happy then the way your brain is just wired. I would reccomend watching your moods for the next few weeks and if you notice yourself growing steadily more unhappy then talk to your mom or dad about maybe talking to a counselor. In the meantime just ask your friends for support. I know it's not easy, but you can make it. :)
hay... latly i have been feeling sad like i hate my life and i dont know why (its not bad or anything like that)i dont want to feel like this!.. i have noticed that im drifting apart from my friends cos they never want to talk to me or hang out with me out of school and i dont know why.. can you help me im confused! thanx
Hey there.
How long have you been feeling like this? Because if it's more than 2 or 3 weeks, it is possible that you could have a mild form of depression. Some of the symptoms you're describing fit perfectly and that would be a justified answer to why you're feeling so down.
Just watch your moods and appetite for maybe another week or two. If you don't feel any better or you feel worse, contact a physician. They can prescribe you some medication or have you see a counselor who will help you find techniques to make you feel better.
Best of luck! I know it's hard.