You should leave it alone.
When you break up with someone that you invested your feelings in, you will often go through a mild form of the 5 stages of grief:
denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
It's not like someone died, but the loss of someone is still there. Also some stages are stronger than others, pretty much you just said that you went through the anger stage, I would say that you are at the bargaining part right now, where you are telling yourself that you can just "be friends" because let's admit it... right now you are remembering pretty good things and not too many bad things. The best way to get over it is to remember all the reasons you broke up in the first place, if you keep a diary, read that part only. Ask your best friend who you complained to to remind you of everything you're forgetting, you'll breeze through depression easy too.
If you got him, you can get another.

Young love is always more intense because you're young and having first brush experiences with everything. It's like the first time I saw the movie "Scream". It was a packed theater and everyone was jumping yelling and screaming. Now, a billion sequels later and too many showings on daytime TV, I don't pay it much mind.
The truth is, you have matured enough to know you should have stayed single, and there is nothing wrong with the dude you have now. You may feel a little less "rush" because of what I just said or maybe because there is less conflict with him in your normal life. My advice is (and it's probably way different) that you are 20 years old. When I was 20 I was awesome (still am) I played in a band, went to different cities, really chased my passion. Along the way, I met a lot of girls, dated a few and kept moving with myself in mind. Now, after a few bumps along the way, I am where I want to be and it's awesome.
I think people are afraid to be alone. There is a freedom in being single. Is it lonely? If you let it be. The truth is love... real love will come when you don't worry about it. When you are confident in yourself that's when you are open to someone who is attracted for you for who you are, not just if you're single and have some shit in common.
You can date (you're still young I recommend it so you can find what you like.) You can even have a boyfriend if you want to give someone the title. You don't have to feel the need to settle down though just because. When you give someone the title of being your boyfriend, it means you're giving them your loyalty, love isn't necessarily always in the mix. It doesn't always have to be. I say it's ok to be a little selfish. Better to discover what you want than regret it later.

The things he sees happening to people is probably going to jail. In most states, a 21 year old and 17 year old involved in a relationship is usually a jail sentence if they decide to *ahem* consummate the relationship. I know that's not the answer you're looking for, but I couldn't answer your question without pointing that out.
In all actuality, you can't force someone to "be ready" he either is or isn't. If I were you, I'd be glad he is at least honest on what he says, a lot of people wouldn't be and just use you physically. Maybe he just likes someone to talk to. Or... he could be stringing you along. In which case, it's only up to you if you want to keep talking to him. Don't feel bad about feeling duped. Everyone has been strung along at some point. I saw it on "How I met Your Mother" so I know it's a fact

If he approaces you he has to be the one to exit. It should be like a Black Ops mission (he'll know what I mean). Same to you if you are the approacher. It's in and out because I guarantee you he is just as nervous. It should go like this:

Guy: Hi
Girl: Hello!
Guy: so I was wondering maybe we can do something Friday.
Girl: I am totally free Friday what did you have in mind?
Guy: Oh I dont know how about (insert movie/dinner/walk/coffee combo here)?
Girl: that sounds cool. You have my number right?
Guy: Yeah
Girl: ok call me after work/school/etc and I'll give you my address.
Guy: cool.
Girl see ya then

-graceful yet excited exit-

You need to give her 1/4 to 1/2 the time she was with him for healing time... so if she was with him for a year... you need to give her 3 months to six months.
Sounds crazy huh? It is.. but the heart is fragile. Even if she does go out with another dude in this time they will be a "rebound" and wont last more then a few weeks. Humans do weird things to cope. But it sounds like she is on this "being alone right now kick" even though it sucks for you because you like her and you realize you are being selfish (trust me dude I have been there totally.) I think it's in your best interest to wait it out. Talk to her. Sounds like thats what she needs. Beware of the friend zone. You don't want to be to far in it that you can't come out of it. It's a delicate dance... It sucks but you also don't want to get too close no matter how tempting it is.
My advice? Check on her every few weeks. Tell her when she looks sad, that you notice and you were just checking to see if she was alright. Respect her distance. And in a month or so, remind her that you are interested in her, and you are hoping that her heart is healed because you like her, but you only want to see her happy. This IS the truth right? If you say it and mean it.. that's more than that last dude could ever do for her.
Good luck man.

I wouldn't transfer if I were you.. here's why.

1. You already have a good setup, friends, and you are comfortable in your surroundings. This is important because let's face it... college is hard. You need to be in an ideal setup just to get through it.

2. I'm glad you said you wont make a choice based around a dude.. here's why...
Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. You will see him less which means you will have more time to concentrate on your studies and when you do get to see him, you two will be happy to spend any amount of time with each other it is more sacred and fights are less. This means you will also be more communicative. As emails, texts and IM's will be more important between the two of you.

Here's the truth. If it's meant to be, it'll happen no matter what. I'm sure you are tired of hearing that. But you don't want to screw with your future just because it's going well. I actually threw away a good shot at a good school over a chick once. Seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't.

The answer is a sucky one because you are still thinking about the ex so much.

First: I can't discredit you. The heart wants what the heart wants. If it's affecting everything around you, it's obvious you got it bad and that ain't good right?
I know all about heartache. It's not just the heart, it's everything that hurts as you deal with anxiety you can't explain.

Second: I can tell you this. Time really does heal all wounds. It may not seem like it, but you got to deal with the bad and dealing with it, will make you stronger for the next great love of your life.

My answer is this:
It's obvious you and your ex probably will never get back together. I know this sicks to hear. You probably don't want to, but it's the truth. If he's already got another girl, he's living miles away, and he hasn't given you an answer other than "talking as friends"... well darlin' it's pretty clear this isn't a wise use of your energy.

Vice versa, this new dude sounds cool, but you are also having doubts. It sounds like you could like him well enough, but you dont have the history you do with your ex. My thought is that you are still in rebound mode having bounced around and still having relationship issues.

Here's what I think you should do honestly:
Take that two months before you turn 18... and spend some time being you.
Check it... it sounds like you're a fox. People obviously want to date you. Never worry about finding someone or being alone. You got him, you can get another.
What you want to do is take advantage of this limbo period. You can go out with your gals, stay out late and not have to report to anyone. Eat what you want, do what you want, and flirt with who you want. You can take up a hobby, go on a roadtrip this weekend, and be free.
Why am I telling you this? The more time you spend being free and happy is time you come to decide what you really like. Like record stores? You can probably meet somone cool there. Book stores? People who read are sexy (I know I am) and the truth is... when you do get tied down with another ball and chain, you will actually start craving those little moments of freedom again.

In the end, it's your life. I cant tell you who to fall for.. only you know know that. But I can tell you, the sooner you heal the sooner you will find the next great adventure, and trust me, no matter how great you think that one was, there's always another adventure waiting.

How about...
"hey 'name of mutual friend' asked me if you and I were like an exclusive thing. Weird huh? I didn't really know how to answer her. I told her I was really having fun hanging out... Has anyone asked you something like that?"

That may open up dialog, you can use a kill shot to seal the deal along the lines of... "the truth is, I like the time we've been spending. I appreciate the way you have been fitting in to the rest of the things I have going on, I would like to keep doing what we do, in an exclusive way if you would too."

Then he can respond. You have to be ready for whatever comes. He may not want a relationship. In which you can tell him you are fine with how you have been continuing. (or maybe your not and you want the title)

Whatever you do make sure he's not on a rebound. Those never end well and you may just want to keep on seeing him without the title until he gets it together.

Bear with me this may start off weird:

I fell in love with Star Wars when I was 5. There was something about it that just captured my imagination. Seriously... I love that movie. L-O-V-E. So much that I actually kicked a girl out of my apartment when I showed it to her and she said it was dumb. (It was the "magical" 3rd date, and I knew if she didn't validate my obsession with the movie we wouldn't last)

Why am I telling you this? I believe you can fall in love with something at a young age. Love is a feeling, the strongest one we have. You know from dealing with a broken heart how much it can actually physically hurt you. The Trojan War was fought over a woman, and any story worth telling involves love of some sort.

I am also telling you my ridiculous admiration for SW because those movies captured my imagination as a kid. They always made me feel like I can be better than I was. Hopefully that is what he makes you feel like. There is a point when "love" goes from being physical to being an everyday thing. When you get comfortable with someone, that's when the lovey doveyness leaves and the real comes out.
It seems to me that the two of you can probably make it. You've been apart for awhile, you have a cute story... But you'll have to work at it to make it last. I think you should date him when you are "legal" (gee that sounds creepy) and I wish you well...
I would wait on the marriage thing. Go to college, and live life with him, decide what you really want to be when you "grow up" then when you graduate and you are "grown up" then you know the two of you have stood through every test.

As for me. I'm still waiting for that doe eyed senorita who will watch Star Wars movies and dance to the Ramones with me in my living room.

Good luck.

Look it's not that nothing he says is good enough. It's he isn't good enough.

It sucks breaking up. I dig it. Being alone after you've been with someone takes getting used to, especially when they keep bugging you or trying to turn the tables on you.

There comes a time though, when you start thinking about yourself. You have a right to decide what job you want to work in, what college you want to go to, who your friends are... and especially who you wake up to.

If your dude is a non functioning drunk (some of us are charming when we drink) and had a problem being faithful to you, it sounds like this is not much to think on.

Be happy you are through with him. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Make a list of everything he has ever done wrong, every big fight you had. Take it out and read it whenever you have to get in the right mindframe to deal with it.
Your strong. You can do it.

It is natural for him to pop into your mind. Two and a half years is a long time for anything to become a good or a bad habit. It is good to hear that you do realize you have a good thing going now, and you don't love your ex anymore. A lot of times the questions I answer are about helping people not want to run back to their old situation because they are afraid of being alone.

I say never forget. The lessons you learned in that relationship are going to make you a better girl for your new boyfriend. But also remember the reasons you aren't with him anymore... just in case you get too nostalgic.

You're 21. You're an adult and can do what you want... I will say this and leave it at that...

You know all those nights you spend with your girlfriends staying up, maybe going out, and doing whatever you want? They will be fewer and far between.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure the two of you have had a fantastic 6 months together... but think about the last BIG fight you had.. remember the one where you went home really mad, and didn't talk to him or see him for a few days until he apologized? Now picture being in the same house with nowhere to go... awkward.

Moving in with your main squeeze can sound awesome, and sometimes it is... but the truth is, anything after a while gets complacent. My advice is to live apart for at least a year and ask yourself this question again. The truth is you sound like you have the perfect setup now, you live with two of your girlfriends, and your boyfriend has his own apartment you can spend private time with when you want.
Hold onto that as long as you can girl... before you know it you're gonna be sharing bank accounts, free time and everything else, this can wait awhile.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

Whatever you do, you should not be the one to confront her. Remember... what you want is to be the opposite of what she is. She crazy... you're sane and calm and calculated. That's why he likes you... you're not dramaville.

Check it. Ex girl is crazy because she's the one who's not snuggling up with someone right now. Breakups are usually a two way street so we'll never know the real reasons they broke up (two sides to every story) but he's obviously a nice guy or she wouldn't be trying to get him back.

Eventually she will have to stop. He of course needs to tell her to stop and that if you are a rebound, then only time will tell but she has to respect his wishes now.

And everytime that chick is calling or texting him, don't get mad, remember that she is driving another nail into her coffin of ex-ville population one and driving you two even closer together.

You can't "change" a person. Some people like to try new things, others are set in their ways. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I am a big believer in opposites attracting as well. It just depends on the person. If you feel that you aren't connecting with him as much as you would like to, but he seems content with the way things going, maybe it is your restless spirit that makes you wonder.
You might have to take action and ask yourself what you want before "wonder" turns into "wander" though. The worst thing you could do is be unhappy or unsatisfied and never tell him. You can always mention that you would like to try new things with him because they are important to you and see how he takes it. I do believe that if you have to be comfortable with his choices of entertainment he should deal with yours to an extent as well. If he is unwilling to compromise on that (you are suggesting trying new things remember... not changing him) than maybe he isn't for you. Relationships are built on communication and trust. If he's unwilling to say... go see an art gallery with you for just a day... maybe you may want to rethink things
good luck

Look.. I'm not shy and neither is the crew I know... but no one I know would ask a girl out like that. There's charm and finesse involved cause you got to let her know you like her and your asking her out.

Dont get me wrong your young, and so was he. He probably doesnt even know how to ask a girl out. The main thing is he learns eventually, and him bombing out with you when you told him no sends a message that asking personal questions right out and grabbing at you isnt this best way to woo a girl.

It's cool you're shy. That's not a crime. Girls like you always have the best things to say and the best observations. Someone is going to find that super cool. Until then, be wour awesome self.

Well it really depends on how long he has been OUT of his long term relationship. 6 years is a long time, plus he has baggage.. (kids) I'm not saying he's not a great guy... but if you havent given him enough time, you are going to be the rebound chick. (and rebounds never last)

Look... it depends on what you want. Maybe he is using you to try and forget. It's a long term relationship and those things are like gnawing off your own arm. You may have to resign yourself to the fact that you will always come in second to his kids and that his ex will ALWAYS be in some way part of his life. It sucks, but that's why you have to make the choice if he is ready to date you or not. (It doesnt sound like he is) I would say after a 6 year relationship he's not ready for anything SERIOUS for at least a year and a half to two years... I'm just telling the truth.
That doesn't mean you cant have fun though. You can casually date him if you want. See how it feels to hang out, be a little physical, etc. No one's saying you have to move in with him. The company might do you both good. The problem is one person usually cares more than the other and he sounds a little messed up inside still.
Tread carefully, I may be full of crap, but I doubt it cause I'm a pretty awesome advice dude

This may suck for you to hear.. but let me lay it down for you in honest truth. You can tell him everything. But don't expect an answer or for it to be favorable.

If you apologize. It needs to be from the heart and sincere and with the knowledge that you are doing it to make things right, not to get him back. You have to acknowledge that there is a possibility you may not get him back and be willing to move on.

What do you tell him? Everything you told us. Tell him the last few days have been miserable. Tell him you will deal with whatever choice he makes, and if he doesn't given you another chance that at least you have learned that how to treat the next person... and then thank him for hearing you out.

Then be prepared to walk away. If it's meant to be.. it will happen today, tommorow, or much later, but it'll happen right.

He's talking to you because he like you and he's fascinated with you. Even though you think you are boring, he has grown up with 99% of the female population wanting to only talk about themselves and not being self absorbed in a story they are writing. That makes you different and intriguing. I am saying this, because even this can get old. If you need time to write (I'm a writer and I know these things) then make time to do that separate than spending time with him (The truth is as writers we are also selfish so I get it.)
Sometimes as a dude, I ask girls lots of questions. I save the answers in my memory banks for later (her favorite flowers are tulips, she likes the beatles with the suits not on the drugs, she is a star wars fan, not a star trek fan etc) I can tell you that eventually he will learn the score (that you arent much of a talker-about-yourselfer...) and either make do, or leave.
The other thing is.. your 16, so if he annoys you, it's not like your married. I'm not telling you to be heartless, just that being a teenage writer is hard enough without an attention craved person trying to use your time. For what it's worth though, you may want to take that as a compliment, because if a girl told me everything she thought of religion, politics, and family... well... I'd make a choice pretty quick too.
If all else fails try to explain you are a cat person. I mean that in the sense that you are a cat. You like him well enough, but you are also aloof enough to focus on yourself and do your own thing as well. If he wants to be in the room with you when you do, he may want to pack a book because this story needs a few more paragraphs.

He's on the rebound. He is not stable. To tell the truth he probably really does like you and holds you to a higher regard than the others, the fact is he still keeps talking to you, but honestly you got to give some time to let that boy get things through his head. Trying to be a real girlfriend with him right now to him will only get you hurt, cause they never last. Never.
Being jealous doesn't help. If you care enough to stay by his side, you will care enough to leave him alone, and only talk to him when he needs a sane person. Bring up the discussion much later when he is over this. If he was in that relationship for a year, you need to give him a minimum of another 2 months in addition to the two he's already been out of it.

It sucks, and probably not what you want to hear.. but I dont do this to be popular. (I do it for chicks) anyway... remember I'm sure he's a cool dude.. but you take care of #1 and only get with a dude that is 100%in the game

You can forgive and forget. But that doesn't mean you have to be friends with him. You can even be friendly but remember that when you had your messy breakup there were things that you really hated about it. As a result he knows how to push your buttons. There is a difference between an acquaintance, a buddy, and a real friend. Just assign him the role you want and only give him security clearance to your feelings for what that title entails. But dont make him a GOOD friend again for at least a year. He knows way too much about you and how you work, let it ride, date some other people make sure you are both ok before making him a real friend again

Full time Jerk. Part time writer, adventurer.

I get drunk and answer your questions with the cold truth.

It saves lives.

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