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should i date a person that has been in a long term relationship?
im a 22 year old female the person im getting to know is 22 male i met in 8th grade of middle school almost 10 years ago and we went to the same high school also but we never talked, i was very shy and he was more outgoing and popular..so now he came to my job and remembered me,he told me he had a crush on me in middle school and always wanted to get to know me..so after that we talk & are getting to now each other.he was in a relationship for almost 6 years and has 3 kids. his ex had cheated on him.. the longest relationship i had was 5 months & i have no kids. we found out we have many things in common like music,movies ,we both have 2jobs & stuff like that.so after a week of getting to know each other he asks me to be his girlfriend i said yes cause i was really starting to like him.after 3 days he told me he was sorry but he thought he went to fast & he just wasnt ready for a relationship yet, but still wants to get to know me well & wants us to be a couple in the future. i understood perfectly. we still talk/text almost everyday & we go out once in a while. the last time we went out he kissed me & i know i should of stopped it but i like him he says he likes me. it feels wrong cause we are not a couple. but im confused. what if he is only using me maybe to forget of his ex. i feel like im not his type. he has had much more experience than i have i still live with my parents because i help them. i have 2 jobs but is still treated like a teenager by my parents even though im 22.im still shy around him so what kind of questions should i ask him?? how do i ask him if he really does like me? do u think its right to go out with him? i would like advice if anyone has had experince this how do u think this relationship will turn out?
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hello there,
i think he wants to get to know you more then see what will happen, take it slowly with him. Kissing is fine and hugging. When you both know you want to be together it will happen. It will be great.
i don't think being in a long term rlationship matters if you love someone. Him having children already might make your relationship a little hard, and it might cause trouble between him and his ex. But apart from that it should be fine
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I really can't see where the trouble is. He likes you, you like him, he's taking it slow which is what you need. Tell him you think his ass looks cute and you liked it when he kissed you. Go on more dates. Focus on just enjoying each other's company and less on what you call the relationship or whether or not you're officially labeled a couple.
He's into you. You've gone on dates. If you continue to go on dates you're dating. If he's not dating anyone else, for all intents and purposes you're a couple. The reality is there, so just spend more time with the guy you like.
Yes, it's ok.
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Hey there,
I would say, go for it. Sure you both have your differences, but you also have your simularities. I think it is bold of him to tell you about his crush he had on you in middle school. Guys are usually too nervous to talk to a girl they really like. Now that you know how he feels about you, go with it. It does not matter if he has been in a relationship, you should still like him for who he is. If you feel that you have a connection with him and you know he is over his ex, then don't hold back now. It is sweet of him to say he could see you two together in the future. It won't hurt you to get to know him and be real good friends with him right now. The future can be far away and so you should live in the moment with him.
I really doubt that he is using you. I believe he would like to get to know you better for he had feelings for you before, so he already knows you are a great person. I believe he wants to hang out with you for you can be a person to talk to, a person to do things with, a person that will listen, a person he still has a crush on (high school crushes don't just go away) and someone he knows will treat him right.
You will never know if you are someones type if you never give it a chance. The only way a person can know, is if they try. Sure he may be different, but he still accepts you for who you are. It doesn't matter what happened in your past, just know you learned from it and keep moving. I know what it is like to be treated like a child even though you are an adult. It may take time, but one day your parents will realize 'wow my child has grown up' and they will see you in a new light.
Never be afraid to smile and be yourself. You can ask him anything you want. Ask him how his job is going, what he does for fun, if he has seen a new movie that came out, what his favorite things are, how his kids are doing, or if he would like to hang out that weekend. Be confident in what you ask. If you want to know if he really likes you, flirt with him. There is no harm in flirting if he is already over his ex. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know. If he grins, fidgets, or flirts back, you will know he has feelings for you.
I believe the kiss was him trying to show you his true feelings. One sweet kiss can tell a lot. I believe if he accepts you and if you feel comfortable around him, it is definately okay to date him. I believe this relationship can turn out however you want it to. If you are accepting, supportive, and loving... you can make any relationship work <3
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Well it really depends on how long he has been OUT of his long term relationship. 6 years is a long time, plus he has baggage.. (kids) I'm not saying he's not a great guy... but if you havent given him enough time, you are going to be the rebound chick. (and rebounds never last)
Look... it depends on what you want. Maybe he is using you to try and forget. It's a long term relationship and those things are like gnawing off your own arm. You may have to resign yourself to the fact that you will always come in second to his kids and that his ex will ALWAYS be in some way part of his life. It sucks, but that's why you have to make the choice if he is ready to date you or not. (It doesnt sound like he is) I would say after a 6 year relationship he's not ready for anything SERIOUS for at least a year and a half to two years... I'm just telling the truth.
That doesn't mean you cant have fun though. You can casually date him if you want. See how it feels to hang out, be a little physical, etc. No one's saying you have to move in with him. The company might do you both good. The problem is one person usually cares more than the other and he sounds a little messed up inside still.
Tread carefully, I may be full of crap, but I doubt it cause I'm a pretty awesome advice dude
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