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Should I ask her if she's over her ex?
Okay so there's this girl who I told that I liked her quite a bit. She said she liked me too, but she had broken up with her boyfriend of 1+ year at the beginning of summer prior to this semester and she needed time to get over that. I told her that I understood and would wait, but I wanted to know if there was any chance (I didn't wanna wait for nothing) and she said I certainly have a chance and she was really glad I told her how I felt. It's been about 3 weeks since she told me this. The other day I told her that if she ever needs someone to talk to (I noticed she was pretty sad looking lately) that I was there for her. She said that she appreciated the notion and that I didn't understand how much that means to her. She never told me what was wrong, only that it was a lingering problem and the next week she seemed to perk up and all seemed well again. (Sorry that was slightly off-topic; I just wanted to add some detail). Anyways, I realize that there's a good chance that she's not over him quite yet, but I want to know how the healing process is going. It's pretty selfish of me, but I really like her and this waiting has been rough on me (though it's probably nothing compared to getting over an ex). So I essentially my question is 2 part:
1. Should I try asking sometime soon to get a gauge on how the healing is going, but just expect a response like "well it's going, I'm doing better than before but need more time still" etc? Or should I wait another month or so?
2. How can I ask her about it without sounding selfish or like I'm pressuring her for a decision?
Thanks in advance!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You need to give her 1/4 to 1/2 the time she was with him for healing time... so if she was with him for a year... you need to give her 3 months to six months.
Sounds crazy huh? It is.. but the heart is fragile. Even if she does go out with another dude in this time they will be a "rebound" and wont last more then a few weeks. Humans do weird things to cope. But it sounds like she is on this "being alone right now kick" even though it sucks for you because you like her and you realize you are being selfish (trust me dude I have been there totally.) I think it's in your best interest to wait it out. Talk to her. Sounds like thats what she needs. Beware of the friend zone. You don't want to be to far in it that you can't come out of it. It's a delicate dance... It sucks but you also don't want to get too close no matter how tempting it is.
My advice? Check on her every few weeks. Tell her when she looks sad, that you notice and you were just checking to see if she was alright. Respect her distance. And in a month or so, remind her that you are interested in her, and you are hoping that her heart is healed because you like her, but you only want to see her happy. This IS the truth right? If you say it and mean it.. that's more than that last dude could ever do for her.
Good luck man.
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Don't probe her healing and problems.... just ask her out.
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