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Can teenage love be real && long lasting??
Okay, im 17/f and my ex is 20/m. I dated him in 06' when I was 14 and he was 17. Two months of us dating I turned 15, so it was only a two year difference. We dated for 8 months. We broke up because his mom said we had two different maturity levels, and we needed to either break up, or get back together later on. I thought I was in love with him, and he said he was in love with me but everyone said I was too young to know what love is. When we broke up, he pinky promised me that on my graduation day in 2011, that he would propose to me. I believed him.
Every since then, I haven't had a real boyfriend since, its like my heart just doesn't feel like giving anyone an opportunity because I guess it finally found its home with him. During these last 3 years, I have seen my ex here and there. My parents got real attached to him, so he comes over to visit occasionally. I really believe my love for him is real. Everytime I see him, my heart drops, stops, and skips beats, and I get a little nervous inside. I only feel 100% normal and secure when he's hugging me, Im hearing his heartbeat, or he's just holding me. A few months ago, he came over and we sat in his truck, and he was bringing back old memories that I thought he would forget. It made me happy to know that he remembers EVERYTHING. He even remembers the promise he made me, and he also said that he's still in love with me, and after we broke up, he hasnt be able to be with anyone longer than 3 months. He cried to me, for the second time in our whole relatioship, just because he really missed me, and he missed the feeling of being able to be himself 100% and someone love him for it. He promised me that when Im legal (18) he will ask me back out, (therefore his mom can't trip about our age difference) and we can finally be happy again. I turn 18 on November 20th. He still remembers the proposal promise he made me 3 years ago, and he says he still plans to keep it.
He says Im the only girl he's ever been able to look at and his heart stops likes its the first time he's ever seen me.
Im just not too sure if his feelins are real, or if im to young to know what it is, but i do know the way I feel about him, isn't anything you feel for just a friend.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Most people will say your too young. But i believe that we can find out what love is that young. If you both have waited for each other this long you obviously have love for eachother. I think it is a little soon for you to be engaged. Just date him for the first little while and make sure all the feelings are still there. Maybe even date a year or so before you decide to get engaged. I do believe that you are in love, and it sounds like he is head over hills for you too(: try it out, see how it goes and take it from there!
Good luck and i hope i helped(:
If you have any other questions feel free to message me personally!
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Yeah, you're too young. You never exited the honeymoon phase of the relationship.
Real relationships take work. At some point, you two would have started fighting about stuff. The fighting would escalate, and you'd come close to or actually break up over it, more than once. You'd either eventually stay broken up or learn how to work together to solve problems, and learn to value the person you're with for their ability to get you, and make a place for you in their lives.
You've never experienced any of that. Not in 8 months. You're a 17 year old who's still pining after her first love.
On the other hand, there's really nothing to be lost by dating him. You'll only ever fully get over him if you do and find out where the relationships natural course ends up. It might last, it probably won't, and either way the world will work itself out pretty much as it should.
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Bear with me this may start off weird:
I fell in love with Star Wars when I was 5. There was something about it that just captured my imagination. Seriously... I love that movie. L-O-V-E. So much that I actually kicked a girl out of my apartment when I showed it to her and she said it was dumb. (It was the "magical" 3rd date, and I knew if she didn't validate my obsession with the movie we wouldn't last)
Why am I telling you this? I believe you can fall in love with something at a young age. Love is a feeling, the strongest one we have. You know from dealing with a broken heart how much it can actually physically hurt you. The Trojan War was fought over a woman, and any story worth telling involves love of some sort.
I am also telling you my ridiculous admiration for SW because those movies captured my imagination as a kid. They always made me feel like I can be better than I was. Hopefully that is what he makes you feel like. There is a point when "love" goes from being physical to being an everyday thing. When you get comfortable with someone, that's when the lovey doveyness leaves and the real comes out.
It seems to me that the two of you can probably make it. You've been apart for awhile, you have a cute story... But you'll have to work at it to make it last. I think you should date him when you are "legal" (gee that sounds creepy) and I wish you well...
I would wait on the marriage thing. Go to college, and live life with him, decide what you really want to be when you "grow up" then when you graduate and you are "grown up" then you know the two of you have stood through every test.
As for me. I'm still waiting for that doe eyed senorita who will watch Star Wars movies and dance to the Ramones with me in my living room.
Good luck.
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It can be the real thing.
My daughter went to a school dance with this guy in her sophomore year. I remember thinking what a sweet first romance she had. She's now 26 and they have been married for 2 years, after 5 years of mostly being apart by 1500 miles and both of them earning their college degrees.
You are having time to grow and get to know yourselves better and will be in much better shape if you choose to get together.
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Wow, your story is soooo touching and sweet. I have to say that if he has stuck around for three years waiting, patiently, for the right time - and he's still around and saying the things you describe - it sounds genuine to me!
The questions you must ask yourself are:
1. Are you true friends with him? Do you have things in common, and just simply enjoy each other's company?
2. Do you get along? Think about the things about life you don't agree on - can you accept his beliefs and thoughts, even if they don't always match your own?
3. Think about the things about him that you *don't* like. There's always something, that's what makes us human - can you *live* with the things you *don't* like about him?
4. In the last several years, has he come around to hang out because he just wants to be around you? Or does he only come around if he isn't busy with other things (like going out with friends, or maybe even on dates, etc.)?
5. Do *you* really and truly believe that you could be happy with him for always, and never wonder "what if", never feel the need to spread your wings and just play the field? (regardless of this answer, you should try it anyway - in the adult world; at least give your self time to see who is out there - more on this below...)
The most important thing is to be honest with yourself. If you can honestly answer Yes to all of these questions, it sounds like his feelings are real, and so are yours. I *know* it's possible for teenage love to be real and strong and lasting. It usually doesn't happen - I have to admit that - but it can. One of the happiest couples I've ever seen has been together basically since Kindergarten... They played together in grade school, dated in High School, went to college, then married and had kids. Now their kids are in college - and they are still happy together.
I would advise you go to college first, before marrying - only because in college it's like getting a true taste of real life. It's a really really big world out there and at 17-18 you honestly haven't *lived* in it yet. When you struggle with finances, spend some time all on your own, have the opportunities to meet a lot of new people who share your interests and like the same things you do - then you have a better idea about whether or not he is truly the right person for you, in a forever kind of way.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is Yes, it sounds like his feelings are real. And I wouldn't see anything wrong with dating, maybe even seriously, or even becoming engaged, after you graduate. But before you actually marry, I would definately get your feet wet in real life first. Find out if, after you've hit the world and learned what it is to be an adult, independant and around other adults, your feelings are still the same.
Again, the most important thing is to be honest with yourself, and though you've been waiting a very long time already, I know, there is *still* no rush to marry and start a family. Give the relationship a few years to mature and grow, see what it grows into. Give the world a few years to show you what adulthood is like, and see how you feel then.
The thing a lot of people don't realize about marraige and relationships is that you can never go into them expecting your partner to change - you have to accept them exactly the way they are, or you'll end up unhappy -
At the same time, no matter what you do, both you *and* your partner will *certainly* change as time goes by. So to build a strong relationship you must be sure that your basic personality, the very core of who you are, that person that you were the day you were born and will be until the day you die - that deep inside person that is YOU, is compatible with the deep inside person that is HIM. Only then will you know that even the normal changes that take place throughout life will not change the feelings you have for each other.
Good luck, and I hope everything goes well for you!
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Awww I think I just witnessed a love story <3
Oh wait I did. You clearly love him and follow your heart and you will see he loves you too. Love is something that hits you out of no where, you can be 14 or 40. But it just takes that one person. I fell in love with my fiance when I was only 14 too, and it does happen... Ignore everyone else and focus on him, do you wanna spend everyday for the rest of your life with this man? If the answer is without a doubt yes... marry him already. Love is wonderful and amazing Good Lucky
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