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friends agian?
Okay so my ex and I broke up about four months ago and it was a reeeeeally messy break. He did a lot of shitty things at the time adn it wasn't until just about two months ago that he finally apologized to me about how he handled everything. At first I didn't want to forgive him but then I realized that the only way I can move on is to FORGIVE and forget... so I tried to establish a friendship. He's all the sudden really iffy about it... liek he says he doesnt want to be friends even though he knows I've never done anything to him. He says I annoy him...? I don't know. We had a pretty nice conversation tonight but I still just really really wanna be friends... how can I make the steps to show him that we can do it?? (he's frieds with my like best friend so thats part of why I want us to be okay)
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I've gone through that and it can be tough. As much as you want to be friends he's got to want to as well. My first boyfriend and I had a REALLY rocky break-up. I tried so many times to be friends with him and he would say he'd want to but he wouldn't go through with it and continue to be a jerk. We broke up in 2006 and it took us 4 years...that's right 4 years to figure things out and be cool with each. Now I'm not syaing that it'll take you guys 4 years but it is going to take sometime time...after all it was only four months ago. 4 years in comparsion to 4 months is a long long time...it gave us time to think what we want. And we're there for each other now as well which is nice to know that we're not enemies anymore and that there was no point to that fighting. My advice give it sometime and don't force it! Good luck!
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You can forgive and forget. But that doesn't mean you have to be friends with him. You can even be friendly but remember that when you had your messy breakup there were things that you really hated about it. As a result he knows how to push your buttons. There is a difference between an acquaintance, a buddy, and a real friend. Just assign him the role you want and only give him security clearance to your feelings for what that title entails. But dont make him a GOOD friend again for at least a year. He knows way too much about you and how you work, let it ride, date some other people make sure you are both ok before making him a real friend again
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