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Connecting With a Guy
So, I am 18f. I have a boyfriend that is the sweetest guy I have ever met. He has a sense of humour, a great personality, and a loving heart. What I am wondering is how can I get him to try new things? I love upbeat music, dancing, sports, and art... where he loves things like hard metal, football, and horses. He hasn't said he loves me yet, but you can just tell how he feels when he is with me. I just have a hard time really connecting to him on a deeper level. Sure he is a sweet, awesome guy, but I still wonder if we are ever going to be able to connect on a different level, you know what I mean? I just think that when you find that one person and you truly love them, you should be able to connect with them, be able to tell them anything, and have that romantic spark in your relationship. I don't feel that I have that level of a relationship with him even though he is a great guy otherwise. I sometimes feel like I should be dating someone I can connect with on a deeper level. I am not going to just give him up though because I feel this way. What do you think I should do? Should I be staying with him and then if I ever find someone I can relate with better... choose that person? Please help me, thanks!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You can't "change" a person. Some people like to try new things, others are set in their ways. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I am a big believer in opposites attracting as well. It just depends on the person. If you feel that you aren't connecting with him as much as you would like to, but he seems content with the way things going, maybe it is your restless spirit that makes you wonder.
You might have to take action and ask yourself what you want before "wonder" turns into "wander" though. The worst thing you could do is be unhappy or unsatisfied and never tell him. You can always mention that you would like to try new things with him because they are important to you and see how he takes it. I do believe that if you have to be comfortable with his choices of entertainment he should deal with yours to an extent as well. If he is unwilling to compromise on that (you are suggesting trying new things remember... not changing him) than maybe he isn't for you. Relationships are built on communication and trust. If he's unwilling to say... go see an art gallery with you for just a day... maybe you may want to rethink things
good luck
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You already know the answer to your own question. If you really do believe that he is sweet and loving, don't you want your boyfriend to have the chance to be with a girl who can also appreciate those things AND have a connection with too. You're absolutely right about feeling that connection. If you don't have it, you're just friends, and you might be missing out on "the one" by spending so much energy trying to make this relationship that should really be a friendship work. So while it may hurt the both of you, the fair and mature thing is to both move on. Believe me, when you finally DO find that connection, you'll wonder why you wasted so much time worrying about this. Good luck!
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