Belladonna's advice column | Belladonna's Advice About Love Life

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Q: My boyfriend cheated on me one week after we got together. Now I have taken him back (about 2 weeks after he cheated on me). All of my friends thinks it's a misstake but I believe in second chaces and I like this guy...All advicenators out there do you believe in the term- "once a cheater, always a cheater"??
Was it a big misstake to take him back, should I dump him for what he did to me?

I'm extremely against cheating, so I suppose I'm a little biased here. Let's look at the facts here though: he did it a WEEK after you got together. That's pretty bad, it shows he just wasn't committed to the relationship even from the start. If he can't even last a WEEK without cheating, doesn't look very promising for the future. I mean, especially at the start of a relationship couples are all focused on one another and wouldn't even THINK of getting with anyone else.
Was he very apologetic? Did he crawl? Try and make excuses? Did he seem genuinely sorry? I guess people do make mistakes and people mess up at times, but something like that is quite a big letdown, not to mention a betrayal. If he seemed REALLY sorry for what he did, then I guess you should give him another chance. It's up to you, really, you should do what you feel is right no matter what anyone else says. I know that when we really like someone we're willing to forgive anything. However, think about what I said and think carefully about this. You just might get hurt again.

Q: so my boyfriend was a acting like a really big jerk. He took me out of his profile and replaced it with another girl saying wow i love ___. he was lso being really really rude. I got so frsihtrated and hurt and mad that i dumped him. After i did it i was like what did i jsut do . We went out a few times before and he dumped me. After that he got really mad at me and started to say stuff like i hope you die and i hate you. We made up but still not going out. We were gonna stop probllay before summer casye we weould never say see each other. But i just feel like everytihng is filled up inside of me and i jsut need to let it all out. Im kidna getting really sad cuase he keeps say well u blew it i relaly did love you. But i just am really sad and i feel like i jsut need to start crying to make it feel better.

Wow, what a complete jerk. It's not you that blew it, it's HIM. If he "really did love you" he wouldn't have treated you like that. It was completely unacceptable replacing your name with another girls name when you were still together. He's trying to make you feel guilty for dumping him even though you were completely justified in doing it. No-one would, or should have to put up with a guy like that.

Now breakups are difficult no matter what. I know that you're probably upset right now, but don't think getting back together with him is your solution. Quite frankly you don't need someone like that in your life. You can do much better than him, and I think he realizes that. Your best bet is getting over him and turning your attention to someone else. Try and avoid him for as long as you need. If you continue speaking to him, you'll never get over him. And try not to think "what if?" He showed his true colours, and he's not someone you want as a boyfriend.

It's hard but within weeks you probably would've forgotten all about him. There are plenty more guys out there who will treat a girl better than he did. Good luck.

Q: 15/F Alright, so I have been dating this guy, ryan, for about 6 months. I can honestly say that I LOVE him. Bu, lately he has been acting distant, strange. I was talking to a girl online and as soon as he found out I was talking to her he made me stop. It's just weird. And This may be a little TMI but the last time we were doing "things" He just stopped and said, "I can't do this." He's never done rhis before, What do you guys think, and any advice on how i may be able to figure out if he is?

It does sound like he's cheating, but I could be wrong. Who exactly is this girl you were talking to? Have you suspected anything between them before? Do they act weird around each other? Has he ever mentioned her before, or her him?

The fact he stopped while you were doing "things" sounds like his conscience got to him. If he's never done that before, there's definitley something wrong here.
I think you need to ask him exactly why he made you stop speaking to this girl. Obviously she knows something he doesn't want you to know. Alternatively, you could speak to this girl again and suss out what she knows. This is kinda going behind his back so I don't fully recommend this.. but it might be the only way to find out. He can't stop you from speaking to whoever you want. If he's trying to hide something, he's not doing a very good job at it. You need to figure out exactly what is going on here. If he doesn't admit it to you when you ask him, find out what this girls knows. Good luck.

Q: Okay, so I like this guy alot. And I heard he likes me too (he told my friend that i was hot and sent me 6 messages asking me who i liked), so I called him the other day and his sister picked up. So I asked if he was home and she said to me, "He's in the shower. And I dont mean to sound rude but he's not supposed to have girls calling him and he really doesnt like you that way." I got so upset I just said "Okay, I'm sorry, I didnt know." and hung up. Then I just felt sad for a long time. But I still really like this guy! And I dont know if his sister was lying or not. The only thing is if he's not supposed to have girls calling he's probably not supposed to have a girlfriend either. So what should I do in this situation?

Thank you.. I'll rate as high as I can.

I think you need to find it out from him. His sister could definitley have been lying. Maybe she just felt like being a bitch, or maybe she was just jealous her brother was getting attention from a girl? Who knows what her motives could've been. But you definitley need to find out from him first before you jump to conclusions.
Besides, I highly doubt his sister of all people would know how he felt about you! She could have been right about his parents, but I can almost 100 % guarantee you she doesn't know how he feels about you. If he sent you over 6 messages asking you who you liked, I'd say that's a clear indicator that he does like you.

If his parents are overprotective, there's not really a lot you can do. If something does happen between you two, they might change their mind if they meet you and see that you're trustworthy. Maybe they won't. That's something he needs to sort out with his parents. Usually parents are willing to compromise. My parents were really strict with dating and such, but once I convinced them I was trustworthy and responsible they gave in a bit. I wouldn't worry about it at this stage until you two are actually together though. And first you need to find out if this is indeed the case, and not just what his sister is making up.

Good luck.

Q: Me and this guy name Marcus likes each other a lot and like we talk all the time and were really close but we live like 1 hour and a half away from each other and he said he thinks we will never date because of the distance and I dont know what to say or do now.. and like i'm really upset and i told him i was but he said theres nothing he can do.. what do i do?

Sorry to tell you this, but if you REALLY liked someone, you'd be willing to put up with the distance. I mean, 1 hour and a half away seems like a lot, but you'd still see each other sometimes.. like on weekends, or at least every second weekend. It's not like you live on the opposite sides of the world from one another. Sounds like he's just not willing to put the effort into making it work. He's not worth your time. I know that is upsetting to hear, but you need to move on to someone else. There's plenty of guys who would be willing to put the effort in for you.

Q: my friend kayla .. thought it would be a GREAT joke to IM my boyfriend and act like some girl looking to hook up .. and the thing is that kayla has a tendency to make things up .. or to invision things differently when she doenst like the person .. and she really really didnt like how my boyfriend treated me.

well she called me after she 'IMed him' as mandy moody, and he apparently asked her for pictures, her age, grade, and said that he had a girlfriend but wasnt thinking it would last much longer, becuase 'i didnt put out'.

so when i heard this, i got very hurt and very upset. and i tend to make snap decisions and judgements in the heat of hte moment .. so i broke up with him .. now i realize talkin to him would have been a better idea.

the more and more i think about it, the more and more it seems as if kayla maybe did say that just to get me to dump cody .. her own sort of motivation in a way .. because for someone who had such a problem with me not puttin out, he never made any moves .. all the things we did do I INITIATED! .. so i guess my question is .. what should i do .. try and talk to him .. see if i can get him to take me back .. how would be the best way to go about doing that?

guys opinion .. would you take someone who did that back ..?

i mean i wasn't completely happy with how he treated me, but i cant do this anymore. i cry constantly. the only time i dont cry is when i sleep, and then i dream about him. so i wake up and cry more .. i liked this kid for over a year. 7 months of that was trying to get over him. now ive dated him and fell harder, and now i have to give him up. what kills me is i didnt lose him, i let him go ...

I think your friend Kayla shouldn't have got involved in your relationship. I understand she didn't like how he treated you, but that didn't give her a right to interfere. It definitley sounds to me she was trying to get you to break up with him. Perhaps she's jealous of your relationship? Thinks you ignore her? Who knows. Anyway, a good friend would want their friend to be happy, even if they didn't like the guy they were with. And it really doesn't sound like she was thinking of how you felt at all.

I think you should speak to your boyfriend about what happened, and ask him to show you the conversation. You need to hear what happened from his side. There's no certainty that Kayla was telling the truth. She could have exaggerated things, or made parts of it up. Chances are, Cody is very upset at the moment too and is probably trying to figure out exactly what happened with you two. You need to talk, and as soon as possible.

If she was telling the truth, then what you did definitley wasn't rash. You deserve far better than a guy who only likes someone depending on how much they "put out" However, you need to find out the story from him before you decide what to do. If he did really say that... that's VERY bad and he doesn't deserve another chance, but if he didn't.. then I'd rethink this friendship with Kayla.

Good luck.

Q: 13/f

ok.
i dreamt about my ex about two days ago, but i just remembered it today.
it sounds pretty silly, but with what i've been through with my ex, this dream is pretty valuable to me.
ok.
let me start be telling you about the dream, and then the questions.

here's the dream::

i was at my house, having some "quality time" with my family. i needed to go to the bathroom, but somebody was in there, and he was gonna talk a while. i couldn't hold it, so i had to go to another house. i didn't know that the person living beside us was my ex's family. i saw him outside. they were having a party. i was walking up to him when i realized that it was him. he realized it was me, and he opened up his arms and he picked me up and hugged me. i was really happy to see him. he gave me a quick kiss and asked why i was there. i smiled and laughed silly. then i said i need to use the bathroom. he smiled and said, "come on". we walked across their living room. i saw everybody staring at me. then, this girl asks an older woman who i was. the older woman said, "that's his ex-girlfriend". i didn't say anything. i was just following my ex. then, i went to the bathroom. my ex was there when i came out of the bathroom, and he kissed me again. then, we came out of their house and went to the backyard. they had a hammock and we lied down there for a while. it was quiet between us. then he said, "i'm glad you're here". i said, "me too". and we fell asleep together.

and that was the end of it.
ok.
now, the questions.

1.) why do you think i just suddenly dreamt about him? [[i haven't talked to him for almost a year now, and then suddly, i just dreams about him?! it's crazy!!!]]
2.) does this mean i still have feelings for him? [[he was my first relationship, and i would think, my 1st true love. but ever since we broke up, we haven't talked or anything. so i'm guessing this is a sign?]]
3.) what can this mean?
4.) what should i do?

now, this is what i'm thinking::

ever since i remembered this dream, i've started missing him, like how i felt the first couple of months after our break-up. i guess it's one of those you-would-never-forget-your-first-true-love feeling. but why now? i thought i was over him, but all the feelings started coming back to me whenever i remembered this dream. now i can't take my mind off of it. now i feel like i wanna see him SO BAD, because i miss him.

Just because you dreamt about him doesn't mean you're not over him. Our subconscious is a powerful tool, one that we try and repress in our normal waking lives. When we're asleep, our subconscious knows no boundaries so our mind can act out anything it wants to. As for your dream, maybe you secretly hope that things had gone better, and that it had worked out. Maybe you just wish he still thinks about you and has feelings for you. Or maybe you just simply want to see him again and reclaim what was lost. You know better than anyone else what your dream could've meant.

Since he was a big part of your life at one stage, its inevitable he's going to cross your mind once in a while. Just because you don't see someone in anymore doesn't mean they're going to be out of your mind forever. You can't simply "forget" someone like that. You're right; you don't ever forget your first true love simply because they are your first and you think you'll be together forever. Of course, few people ever end up with their first loves.

Try not to look into it too much. There's a reason your relationship didn't work out in the first place. You didn't specify how long it's been, but I'm guessing it's been quite a long time. If you haven't thought about him in this time, then you have nothing to worry about. He's just come to the forefront now because of this dream, and now the "what-if" element is there. Don't dwell on it too much. It was just a dream. If you find yourself still thinking about him in a few weeks - even a months time, then maybe you need to reconsider whether you really over him or not.

If you'd like some more help, leave one in my inbox. If I knew more about your relationship, I might be able to help more.

Q: I'm falling for my best friend. I'm a 17 year old chick, if it helps. He's 16, and a male, obviously. He's incredible. He's smart, he's hilarious, he's freaking adorable, and he's sooo sweet. Look at that! He's so sweet that I used multiple o's. I never use multiple o's! He's got his problems, but I can't think of any right now. The thing is, he's always falling for one friend of his or another, and I can't stand to watch him get his heart broken over and over again. It's so sad, and it breaks my heart. I want to hug him and kiss him and hold him and tell him it'll be ok, but at the same exact time, I want to strangle him and tell him he's being an idiot, pick me pick me pick me! But that wouldn't help much.

He knows that I like him, and that's not ruining our friendship at all. He really is the coolest guy ever. He's honestly the one person I can talk to about anything. Plus he's the only one who really gets my sense of humor. I have this feeling that, were we together, we'd have one of those once or twice in a lifetime relationships, one that you base all future relationships on, that old people "awww" about, and that people on the street truly wish they had.

Arg!! What can I do? Is there anything I CAN do? Help!

Wow, you seem to really dig him. I can imagine it would be very upsetting seeing him get his heart broken over other girls, and wondering "Why not me" However, the way it's going at the moment, your feelings for him are only going to grow more stronger and you're only going to get even more upset. You can't keep hanging on like this, falling for him completely and yet not knowing what he exactly feels about you.

I don't know whether he likes you or not. If he knows you like him, one would wonder why he hasn't tried to pursue something with you. However, that might not mean anything. I think what you need to do is ask him straight out how he feels about you. Once you hear it from him yourself, you'll feel much better, and you'll know whether to get over him or whatnit. Just say to him "You know how I feel about you, how do you feel about me?" That's all you really can do. If your feelings for him haven't ruined your friendship thus far, I highly doubt asking him how he feels about you will either. This kind of thing happens all the time. Friends fall for each other very often. It's inevitable, especially if you're close. Don't delay asking how he feels a day longer; you never know what could possibly happen.

Good luck with it.

Q: ok
so i talked to this guy on myspace
and he seems really nice
well he is
and hes really beutiful
and he goes to my school
but hes downstairs
and im upstairs
or whatever
but i like never see him
and i dont know what to do
i have seen him once because he has my lunch
and we like eachother
but im to afraid to talk to him because hes so gorgeous and popular
but hangs out with the preps
and im scared of preps
PLEASE HELP
i rate 5 for trying

When you say you like each other, I assume you mean "that way" right? Then what are you worried about girl?! You're already there! There's no need for you to be afraid to speak to him. Even if he is a prep, he's obviously rejected high school class distinctions by going for you when you're not a "prep". So obviously he doesn't care about popularity or cliques and neither should you. He likes you even though you're not as "popular" as him (presumably), so you have nothing to be afraid of when talking to him.

Maybe his friends would be nice once you got to know them. I know preps can seem stuck-up from the surface or whatnot -- but some can be very nice people. You should give them the benefit of the doubt and get over your fear of them.

why not plan to meet him sometime at school to hang out, since you say you never see him. If you get on really well online, chances are you will in real life too. Forget about the fact that he's popular and see past it. You like each other as people, who cares about where you fit in at school?

Good luck.

Q: well, i was in my bf's room a few weeks ago and he left for a moment, and i found a piece of paper saying "her" with an email address. I got immediately suspicious and remembered the email.
Later I added the email using a fake account and it turned out to be his ex! I started talking to her out of curiosity and we became "friends" she soon started going on about her ex and I know it was my bf she was referring to. i know they had been together a very long time and i think he really liked her, but the rest of the details of the relationship he didn't tell me because he knew i would be jealous. we were only friends when he was dating her. now i'm finding out all sorts of things, and i've found out he's lied to me about a few things from his past. she's also made out that he still isn't over her but she is over him. he told me he was over her. i really didn't mean to find this stuff out. the more i find out, the more upset i get. besides, i keep comparing myself to her because she's older than me and has had so many bfs and experience, and my bf seemed to like her more than me!

what should i do? should i continue speaking to her, or tell my bf everything and confront him? i feel awful about it now.. i wish i had never added her because it was going behind his back. but i also feel i need to keep speaking to her to find out the truth. this is a hopeless situation - please help? thank you

It was wrong of you to add her behind your boyfriend's back, but I honestly think that us girls can get curious and would do the same thing. However, once you found out it was his ex, you probably shouldn't have ventured any further.

The reason he probably didn't tell you the details of the relationship is because he knew it would bother you. And he was right. No girl wants to know what their bf got up to in their past, with another girl. The more you speak to her, the more you're going to find out and the more upset you're going to get. You've already discovered some things you didn't know, and didn't want to know, and now you can't go back.
You say he's lied about a few things. You didn't specify what exactly or how serious it is, but don't forget it's only her word you've got. Who do you trust more, some random girl you don't even know or your boyfriend? Remember, if he broke up with her, she may be bitter about him so she might make up stuff to blacken his name. Consider all possibilities here before thinking he's lying!

You also say she says he isn't over her, but if she was going on about him to a complete stranger over the internet, I'd say it was her who isn't over him!

I don't think you should tell your boyfriend what you did. I'm usually all for fessing up, but this will just cause trouble. What you could do, however, is ask him about his ex and how he feels about her exactly, and what happened with them, etc. Don't hint at anything you have found out. Ask him if he's over his ex, and if she is over him. Maybe he'll tell you, maybe he won't. If he doesn't, I'm sure he has a reason for not telling you. Respect the fact he's entitled to have a past, and try not to keep finding out more about it. You can't change his past, but you can change the way you think about it. No matter what, you need to stop speaking to this girl as this isn't going to do you any favors.

Good luck.

Q: If the guy you like, asked you if you liked him, what would you say? Should you tell him the truth and take the risk, or just tell him you don't like him and keep it all inside for him to find out?
Thanks.

I don't think he'd ask you if you liked him unless he was interested. I could be wrong, but it definitley seems like something to me. A lot of people never get the right opportunity to tell the person they like how they feel, but you have it. It's cliche, but if you don't do it you might regret it later and might wonder what could have been if you had told him. Tell him the truth about how you feel. Don't delay it any longer. The worst that could happen is that he won't feel the same way, but at least you'll know for sure then. And you'll feel much better once its off your chest.

Good luck with it.

Q: There is the guy that I have 'talked' to twice. The first time he just blew me off and wouldn't return my calls. The second time we got into an arguement and we didn't talk for a week or so and by then he had already found another girl to like. However, this past weekend he has told me that he misses me and stuff, and we hungout the other night and he barely said 5 words to me. I don't understand why he wouldn't talk to me if he misses me and wants to talk more and stuff. Do you think if the opportunity came around I should give him another chance? This being the third one? I'm afraid of liking him again and then in the end being the one left upset and hurt. Boys are confusing.

It's nice that you're willing to give him another chance, but he certainly doesn't deserve one. He has messed you over twice already, and as you put it "found another girl to like" even though it had only been a week! He doesn't sound very genuine. By giving him another chance you may just be hurt again. Don't waste your time on a guy like this when there are plenty who will treat you well. If he had only upset you once, then maybe you could give him another chance. But twice is unacceptable.. I think in this case its true that a leopard never changes its spots. Don't let him hurt you again.

Q: Hi,

My boi looks at porn and fatisizez about otha girls while he masterbates. He sayz he dose it out of respect 4 me but I don’t beleve him. Do you think he is cheating. How do I tell him to do it over me without comin across as a slut

Xx jessi

I don't really know what to say with this one, but I did say on my column that I'd answer any question that came to me, so here goes.

He says he has "respect" for you, but why shouldn't he have respect for them too? Just because he's not going out with them doesn't make them any less of a person. What he's doing is using them as a means to his own end.
Anyway, it's normal to only want to be the only girl your boyfriend ever thinks about. Us girls can get pretty jealous, lol. I have no idea how old you are, or how long you guys have been together, but I think that.. yeah.. it should be you he's thinking about.

Maybe you should tell him that it really bothers you. I'm suprised he actually told you anyway, as most guys would be too ashamed to admit that to their girlfriends. Maybe he's feeling guilty about it. Communication is the key to any relationship, so let him know how you're feeling. If he really "respects" you he'll stop looking at porn and focus solely on you. If not, you might have to wonder if he's worth it. Most guys look at porn, but the genuine ones have the decency to put it away when they're with a girl. Consider that.

Q: I'm almost 16. I had a wonderful boyfriend of 8 months. We have been through everything and survived it all. & now he's sick of trying. I need to show him that we can do this, forever. I'll give lots more details if you want to help. Please don't reply if you're just going to tell me to move on.

-Gabohh

The fact you've been together 8 months through thick and thin shows you definitley have something special going on there. That's quite a long time to be in a relationship with someone at your age. Often, though.. you meet points in a relationship where you ask "is it all worth it?" Doubt is a part of everyones journey. Now I'm not sure what's been going on with your boyfriend, but you should talk to him and ask him why he's giving it up now. Explain to him you want to work through this like all the other times. Tell him you want to try no matter what because you really care for him. Maybe he's feeling insecure about things? Maybe people have been saying things to him? There's gotta be a reason why he's "sick of trying" now after everything. Whatever problems you have can usually be sorted, and if not it's worth at least trying. Tell him you're willing to try. Is what's going on now really worth breaking up over? Is it worse than any of the other times? Ask him that.
If he still wants to break up after you've tried to sort things out, then I don't know what else you can do. At least though you'll know you tried to set things straight and remedy the situation. It's his problem if he isn't willing to put in the effort to straighten things out with you two. A relationship shouldn't be one-sided. Two people need to put in effort to make it work.

If you'd like to explain the situation to me more in detail, drop one in my inbox. I'd be happy to help a bit more.

Good luck

Q: ok so i have this boyfriend. He's awsome and we have been dating for about 6 months.a few nights ago he called me and told me that he was going to be gone for a week. Well he was gone for 6 days and when he got back we were having sex. I noticed a bruise on his stomache. At first i ddin't care but then i got closer and it turned out to be a hickey. i didn't say anything at the time though. THe next day we went to the movies but in the middle of the movies he got a call. When he came back he told me it was a call from his brother. I checked his phone after the movies and it was to a girl named mindy. Two days later i called his house and a girl in the background was screaming his name like in a sexual way! is he cheatin on me??? wat should i do? should i bust him or just ask him about it?

Sorry to have to tell you this, but yes, it appears he's cheating on you. He even had the nerve to lie about it. =/ What an asshole. You deserve someone way better than him. You definitley need to confront him about this. Don't get mad at him at first, just ask him outright. If he denies it, tell him what you've found out. You DEFINITLEY need to do something about it! What he is doing is completely wrong, and he needs to fess up now.

Good luck.

Q: Okay well this guy who claims he "likes" or "loves" me or whatever.When we talk it seems like he really does like me but then he'll suddenly tell me that he has a crush on some girl and then he'll be like are you mad? and then ill just say i dont care when i really do because he's kinda messin around with my feelings you know? and then like the next time we talk he'll jsut ignore the whole conversation we like just had the day before or like just a minute ago.I mean he tells me when he thinks certain girls are hot and stuff it just kinda bugs me but i try to look past it because i know guys have their hormones going and like they dont usually like or one certain girl,but i was just wondering if he really does like me,and why would he tell me about what other girls he thinks are hott or he likes like whats the point of doing that? or is it just a thing all guys do ?

thank you.

I think he's trying to make you jealous, because he requires some kind of "validation" from you about your feelings for him. He wants you to be bothered by the fact he likes other girls, because that shows you really like him.
I think he does probably like you, but he's definitley going the wrong way about it. You should tell him how you feel, and ask him outright whether he really wants you or not. It's not right for him to mess with your feelings the way he is. I don't think he's trying to be malicious or anything -- a lot of people do this kind of thing because they're "insecure" and its the only way they feel "wanted" However, it's still not a nice thing to do. Ask him what he really wants, or else you'll never get anywhere with him.

Q: okay so my boyfriend is a little younger than me and hes not a virgin .. and hes cheated in the past .. but i just found out about all this today from his bestfriend .. so what should i do? .. i really dont like the fact that hes not a virgin .. and he just turned 14 .. so HELP !!

thnks chasity x

How reliable is his best friend? I'm not sure you should believe everything he says. There's a chance he's telling you BS about your boyfriend to try and put you off him, or to screw things up.

However.. if his friend is telling the truth.. I can understand that you're bothered by the fact he's not a virgin. It's not something anyone likes to know about someone they're with. The fact that he is so young too probably makes it worse. Obviously, there's not a lot you can do. A lot of people lose their virginity at a young age and then regret it later. It probably didn't mean much to him.
As for the cheating thing.. well, don't know what to tell you there. I hate cheating more than anyone, but if you really like him then maybe you can put his past behind. Have you spoken to him about this? Maybe you should ask him all about this yourself, rather than his best friend.
You can't change the past, but you can learn from it. Hopefully he has, and won't repeat his past mistakes.

Good luck.

Q: 13/m ok well my gf was at this party and she was cold and went to sit next to this guy who she has known since she was born (btw i wasnt at party with her) anyways she was cold and he said come sit next to me ill warm you up and so she did and she went over sat next to him and he asked do u wanna kiss and she said ok not thinking and they madeout....and me and her only madeout 1 time and she makeout with him 5 times in a row like stopped and did it again 5 times then they stopped then he grabbed her hand and like made her give him a handjob....well....she felt REALLY bad after it remembering me and everything and she told me and told me she was REALLY sry and she thinks shes a whore and i should break up with her but i love her to much and i made her swear never to do it again as long as we were going out and she agreed and so now i dont know what to do!!!
should i break up with the love of my life cause she made a HUGE mistake?
but she told me instead of keeping it a secrete and i donno!!!
HELP PLEASE!!!!

You say she felt bad and remembered you aftewards. Uh, hello? She shouldn't have done it in the first place!! How could she just forget about you like that?

You say she did it 5 times AND gave him a handjob. If she had only kissed him once, maybe that'd be forgiveable. But 5 times?!
What she did was wrong, plain and simple. Yeah, it's good she told you, but maybe she just told you so you didn't find out from anybody else (which you probably would've) I personally wouldn't stand for this. She KNEW what she was doing and wanted to do it at the time. She should've stopped after the first time.

You're 13, there'll be plenty more girls in your life. She won't be the "love of your life" I can guarantee you that.

Ultimately it's up to you. If it were me, I wouldn't give them another chance. I take cheating very seriously. I reckon that if someone cheats on you, it means they're not dedicated to you at all. If they have the potential to do it once, what's to say they wouldn't do it again?

Q: Okay so, when my boyfriend & I are together (which is like 3 days out of the week or more) we get along perfectly fine.. but the days we aren't together & we are talking on the phone or internet, we always argue about something, normally over something stupid. And either me or him is always in a blah mood. It's totally different when we are together though.. we're very happy and don't argue one bit.. and can't stand a minute apart from each other, everyone says how happy we are. We love each other.. but we dont get this.

Actually, that happens with a lot of people. I know I argue with my friends over MSN all the time. I think the reason is because you're not face-to-face, and it's easier to say what you're feeling/thinking. In real life, if something annoys you or whatnot, you're less inclined to say it because you're face-to-face. That's my theory anyway.
Plus, the closer you are with someone, you more you fight anyway. That's inevitable, really. =/ The fact that you guys sincerely care about each other and don't argue when in each others company leads me to believe theres no real problems with you guys. Maybe just try and avoid certain topics on MSN, or think before you say something. It's easy to say something stupid on msn that could potentially upset someone. If you're not feeling too great, just sign off for a while because I know from experience its not good to be online when you're feeling blah..lol.

All the best. ^_^

Q: Okay here it is. Im the popular girl in school, and alot of guys think im hot. Oh yah,and please dont answer this if you are just going to say im a bitch or something.Yes,i am hot and pretty and im pretty much use to all the boys wanting me. But there is this girl in my school,a wannabe me. She got the exact same haircut as mine the other day!Can you say:BITCH!!! i know! Anyway,theres this HOTT guy and he barley knows her but he thinks she is hot.GRRR. This is a major problem if you are me! I dont share! Does any one know what i can do to you know well...get him away from her?Im so mad! Shes ugly but im not going to lie,has a nice body.I know people say you dont like someone because of there looks but,i mean come on! One thing i dont do is lie,and beleive me im not lieing SHES UGLY. Sad to day,for her anyway,a few people think so too. Im going to get this guy no matter how much it takes no matter how much clevage because people!, I had a dream that one day ugly people and pretty people(*Me*) do not mix! And i need your help. Maybe you think im concieded so what,if you are too you will probably be able to help! Thanks!I Rate!!!HIGH! ANSWER FAST! Time is wasting :/

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. You should be flattered she got her haircut like yours.

For the record, decent people care about personality too, not just looks. The only reason you hate her and think she is ugly is because the guy you like wants her instead.

I don't really think that you're serious anyway. If I was like you are, I wouldn't dare ask for advice or show anyone what I'm really like.

Anyway, in the slim chance that you really are serious, and this advice isn't a joke, I'm not going to be a bitch to you. Karma might be a bitch to you though, one day.