AnonymousAdvisor's advice column | AnonymousAdvisor's Advice About Love Life

askAnonymousAdvisor

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Okay, well I wasn't really sure where to put this but uh here goes. So I'm 13/F and he was 14/M. He is an awesome friend but he's always been a perv. Anyway, he took it too far this time and I flipped out. We were walking in a group and some other guys that we were with were making fun of him about how he "can't get a girl" and he says "I can get any girl I want!" so he grabs me, pins me against a wall, and sticks his hand down my pants. I freaked and kicked him in the balls... He looked like he was in severe pain. I almost felt bad but not really cuz what did he expect? But now he's super pissed at me. I don't think he has a right! Does anyone else think I was out of line?

Honestly, you could get him into alot of trouble over that ; considering its sexual harrassment. I would just talk to him, tell him you don't want to be friends anymore that he was way out of line. You should let him know that your not sorry for what he did.

& you shouldnt be sorry. He was touching you, when you didnt want him to. He deserved to be kicked in the balls, no matter what JACK said.

-AnonymousAdvisor-

Q: At what point does it become normal to just say happy anniversary every year and not like every month? my boyfriend used to be really good about remembering to say it every month, sometimes better than me... but we've been going out for six months and he dosen't say it anymore... he stopped saying it at five... is that normal? thanks in advance :)

Its normal. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and 2 months, and he stopped saying it after ten months, lol. Its kinda funny, because he gets so carried away when I have to remind him. & When I remind him, he says it all day long. Just remind him that it makes you feel happy when he says it, and it makes you feel like he cares because he remembers.
Hope I helped.

Q:
My boyfriend doesnt call me when I ask him too. He always yells at me about something. He hurts my feelings 24/7 and expects me to wait on him hand and foot. I do everything for him and yet that still isnt enough. everything he has iv bought it. I feel worthless and I get stressed out with him and we get into screaming fights because he wont let me do what I want but I have to let him do what he wants. He used to be friends with this guy and I cheated on my boyfriend with him like 2 years ago. I know it was wrong and I admitted it but this "friend" of his keeps lying to him. and everyone thinks im the liar. What should I do?

Obviously it would be crazy to be with somebody, if they treated you like that!
If my boyfriend didn't call me when I asked, there would either be some serious problems, or he would have to be seriously sick! Don't you get tired of someone always yelling at you, and putting you down?
You and me both know, you don't want to be with this guy, and you don't need to get on some advice column for us to tell you. Its not fair that you have to do what he says, and he can do whatever he wants.
When I was in the seventh grade, I was in a relationship like this.
They suck! & Usually the guy comes crawling back.
You need to break up with him, and when he comes back tell him why you broke up with him and you dont want to be with him. He should believe you over his friends if he really cares about you.
Don't put yourself through this any longer, end this, before it gets worse.
Hope I helped!
AA

Q: me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 4 months now he wants me to give up some of my closest friends and family and even worst he trys and forces me to have sex when i say no more then 5 times he acts all sad and i give in why does he do this to me i really love my boyfriend but im thinkin of starting the new year right by telling him good bye i moved in with him a month after we started going out i think thats what messed up our realtionship but im not really sure i want to fix things with him what should i do or should i just leave it alone?

It doesn't sound like he's doing anything to try to make you stay.
It's not healthy for you, mentally, physically, and emotionally, for him to try to keep your family away from you.
If he forces you to have sex with him, when he KNOWS clearly that you don't want to, that should be a wide eyed alarm to get the hell out of there!
Yes, moving in after only a month was a terrible mistake. It takes a little over two months, for a couple to completely come out of their shell, and then they usually start having arguments.
My advice, leave him, before it gets worse.
If your afraid of leaving him, because you think he could be somewhat dangerous, have some of your family to come with you while you remove your stuff. He can't STOP you from leaving him, and right now, leaving him sounds like the best thing for you to do.
Goodluck, hope I helped!
AA

Q: ok so i really like this guy and he said he likes me (he even said he loved me) but were not going out officially, were just friends with benefits really. we've hooked up a few times but we've never really talking about being in a relationship, but i kinda want to be in one with him.. idk it sounds retarded but i dont know what to do. any advice?

My advise is to tell this guy how you feel, you've said yourself that he's told you that he loves you. However, there may be a downfall to this. You say your friends with benefits at the moment, consider if he doesn't want to start a relationship. Hopefully he's not a jerk & he really finds hope in you guys.
Maybe he's not made the move, because he's unsure of where you stand, if you want to be with him or not.
You should most definately talk to him.
Goodluck!
AA

Q: 15/m I've been single for a year and a half now and i am not sure what to do. I have had offers but none of the ones that asked me really appealed to me. Does this mean i should try and ask ones i do want to go out with me? I hate getting rejected it leaves a knot in my stomach. The ones i ask out and reject me are always the ones i cant get out of my head. What should i do?

Maybe no one appealing has asked you, because they think that you dont want a girlfriend, seeing that you havent accepted any of your offers. Or maybe, they like you, but they're like yourself, and their afraid of rejection.

My advice, have a very close friend with you, that you never fight with, and doesnt make fun of you.
Sit down with him, and call the girl of your choice.
Say "Hey, this is -Jake-(example name). I was wondering if you'd like to catch a movie and dinner this friday/saturday night. My treat."
Give her time for her response, and if she rejects you, dont get all torn up about it.
--Accepts say "Thats cool, I'll pick you up/meet you there.
--Denies say "Oh, well I'm sorry to bother you, maybe some other time"
You have to think of rejection in other ways, maybe her parents wont let her date, or maybe she just doesnt feel like she's ready to date.
And when you think of rejection, dont think of it as harmful, think of it as she just wasnt for you.
Hope I helped
& Goodluck with those butterflies!
AA

Q: i'd like to hear from people who have experience in going away to college while you were in a relationship? what happened? did it work out? my first love and i dated for a year and a half, we were inseperable, then had a BAD break up, were broken up for a year, and just got back together a little over 2 months ago, and everything's perfect again. in the fall, im moving to alabama for college [we're from georgia], and i dont know what to do. he said he is NOT going to lose me again, but i dont know how i feel about trying to maintain a long distance relationship in school. we talked about him moving there with me, but i highly doubt that will happen because he'll be in school here, and i'll more than likely have to live in a dorm my first year. i honestly think breaking up would be best, but i dont want to break up with him. that would hurt us both so much because we love being together. i just dont know what to do, and college is quickly approaching. any experience on this?

I've not been in this situation, so I know that my advice is not what your looking for, however, this coming June, I will be in your situation. My boyfriend is leaving for Nashville, Tennessee, and I live in eastern Kentucky. So I'll only get to see him on weekends =[.
I know how you feel, about not wanting to be seperated, and how you both would be devestated, however, I don't see why you all should break up, if your inlove with this boy.
If everythings perfect, then you should atleast give it a chance, when you go to college.
If you don't know how you feel about maintaining a long distance relationship, you should atleast try. I mean, college will be hard, but going to college and losing someone you love, may be even harder.
I don't know what I would do without my snookums. I just hope you make the right decision.
Goodluck.
I know my advice is confusing, mainly because I'm not who your wanting to hear from, but I think you should atleast give it a try.

Best wishes!
AA

Q: 14/f
so, there was a sadie hawkins dance at my school. the guy that i planned on asking acted like a jerk right before i was about to ask him (long story) and i just couldn't ask him. so i asked my best guy friend. we've been like brother and sister for a little more than a year. this friend doesn't go to my school. so the dance comes and we go out to dinner, he refuses to let me pay for my own dinner, and everything is going great. when we get to the dance, we're just hanging out and i introduce him to all of my friends. when the first slow dance comes, he grabs me and pulls me reallllly close. we dance and we don't even talk while we're dancing. we just stare at each other and smile. when the song ends, we just stand there. he's holding me and i'm smiling and then one of my friends comes up and taps him on the shoulder. she says "you know the song's over right? you don't have to stand there like that..." and he just says "yeah i know." so the rest of the dance goes that way. after the dance, he says he had a really good time. after that, everything went back to normal. in school, i literally was asked 100 times 'are you going out with him?''you looked so cute together' blah blah. now, i'm thinking about him a lot more and i'm wondering...does he have a thing for me? could we be more than friends? help !

Its a good thing that you didnt ask the "jerk", because now, you know a really sweet guy, that you know better than anyone, likes you. He HAS to like you, he wouldnt let you pay for dinner, and he holds you close dancing. Sounds to me like he likes you. Yes you could most definately be more than friends!
Goodluck!

Q: So I've been seeing this guy for a few months and there is a four-year age difference. I am 18 and he is 22. I've met his parents and a lot of his friends and all of them were super nice, but the other night I asked him how his parents felt about me being young. He said, "My mom hates it" and she always brings up thing I'm still in high school. His dad is fine with it though.

The impression I leave on parents is really important to me. I know it's nothing personal about me, i'm a nice girl, but she can't see past the age thing I guess. This just really upsets me and I don't know what to do. It isn't something I can change. My age is my age. Any tips or comforting words? Thanks!

Age, is seriously, nothing but a number, my sister is 18, turns 19 in June, and she's with the love of her life, he's 35 turns 36 in May. They're engaged, and inlove. They've been together for 2 years.
After a while she'll get over it, especially if he likes you like you like him. Maybe it will go further. Good luck!

Q: this problem i have come to is very complex, i work with this girl, and i im practically in love with her,(love at first sight never thought it could happen) we talk laugh and have every thing in common, she has a bf shes ben with for a while they argue and what not but relationships arnt perfect i no, and i have a gf, same we argue from time to time, and i have ben with said gf for 5 years and we are having our first child and i love HER to death.. the problem comes in where i cant get this other girl (co-worker) out of my head... dream, thought, even internet, cant shake this want for her to be a closer person to me. i am not a cheater will never, but i just need to no how i should go about this, i cant say that chemistry wont out shine over history, but i no i cant stop. please someone any one help a man in need, should i go with the flow or try and block a very big river ( sorry so long and arratic lol )

You have a child? I would definately forget about the coworker. You've been with your girlfriend, for five years. Maybe this is just lust, between you and your coworker. I wouldnt think too seriously about leaving your child and gf. Just try to ignore the feelings. Because maybe, if you do leave your gf, it would be a waste. Think of the consequences, this girl may not even like you, you may not even get to see your child, your gf may not accept you back if you realize it was just lust.
Try not to think about it, actually, DONT think about it.
Think about your child.
Only you can make this decision, & I hope I helped you to make the right one.

Q: My boyfriend has never introdued me to his friends because I know about them and they are definitely not my type of people. They're stuck up and snobby and very annoying. I mean all that in a nice way.
Well my Boyfriend told me that if they add me on myspace to delete them. So they tried and I denied the request as what my boyfriend said.

so his friend got very mad that I denied her and posted up a picture of my boyfriend and his ex girlfriend on his page in a comment of course. My boyfriend and I have seen this picture before and it broke my heart. And seeing it again on his myspace got my so mad I broke down in tears. I sent him a text saying
"I don't know what the $%^& you and your friends are trying tp pull but it sure as hell hurts. And now I realize what kinda guy you are..."

I hate that picture becuase he left me before and went for this other girl and the fact that his friend would post a picture on there to get me mad makes no sense to me at all. Why is she being immature?

My question is what should I do?
I love him very much but if he's gonna have friends that oppose his happiness how can I tell him this?
I think that if his friends mean more than he should just end it with me before I get hurt worse?

Help?

Okay, your boyfriends "girl" friend, added you onto myspace and you denied?
She then posts a picture of him and his ex on his page, in a comment.
Have you ever thought, that maybe she likes him? Maybe he was telling you not to add her because he knew she would cause problems.
You have to think about it this way too, you can have him controlling you, I've been in a relationship like that, and they dont end well.
Yes, you have a right to be mad, if someone were to post a picture of my boyfriend and his ex on a page, I'd kill. Not that I have a myspace anymore.
You should talk to him, and tell him if he really cares about you that he shouldnt let his friends run all over you, and try to cause you two trouble.
If you feel like his friends mean more than you do, then yeah, maybe you should end it. Especially if he's treating you with no respect, and controlling you.

Hope I helped.

Q: For girls,

Where is the most attractive body part you think would be suitable for a tattoo on a guy?

forearm? biceps? shoulders? back? chest?

Definately not the biceps of your arm, thats for guys who THINK their tough lol.
The forearms nice, it just depends on what you get there.
Shoulders are DEFinately hott!
The center of your back is too.
Ehh, the chest, like the forearm, it just depends on what you get.

Hope I helped.

Q: Okay, so I really like this Junior at my school & I'm a freshman. He says hi to me whenever he passes me in the hallways & I say hi back. Also, we constantly talk over facebook & we have a thousand inside jokes. He also told me that I'm hot & I THINK he told me that he likes me (he said it in a really confusing way). Also, our brothers know each other and both like to play bball so him & I planned to get together with our younger bro's so that they can play bball while we hang out. So like, does he like me? & why doesn't he ask me out?

It sounds like he likes you. If he's making plans to hang out with you, maybe he'll ask you then, or maybe he really wants to get to know you, for who you are. Or, maybe he's shy.
I hope you all work out. Have fun!

Q: Well...If you hadn't read my other questions, this is a short summary.
I am a senior (high school) and I like this guy..We have been really good friends since like august (even though we knew each other before..offically started talking august) I thought he liked me..but i was wrong.

This past sunday we went out to eat and he told me he just got a girlfriend..since 3 days...and hes known her since july...I smile and acted all happy for him even though i was crying on the inside. I swear i have never felt this way..I didn't even start crying until i woke up the next morning. I knew i wasn't ever gunna tell him how i felt cuz it always ruins the friendship..and thats all guys ever see me as...is a friend...so i guess that's all we are..and that's better than nothing...but i wanted something more.

I don't know how to feel..I don't know what to think...and my crying is different...all i have are tears out of my eyes...no sound at all..i must be really hurt.

What should I do?

Well you have two options.
One, you can be friends with this guy. If you cant be his girlfriend, and you cant not talk to him, then atleast your able to be in his presence.
Or.
Two, you can tell him how you feel, unless he's told you that he doesn't like you, then you really cant judge how he feels. You can always give it that chance, and even if he does tell you he doesnt feel the same, tell him you don't want nothing to happen to your friendship.
Sure you'll act weird at first, but time heals everything.

I hope I've helped.
I really don't want to tell you what to do in this situation, mainly because, I don't want to be the reason for your mistake.
I just want to give you your options.

Q: I have been interested in this boy for a 2 months or so. He is 17, and i am a year older. I'll call him Donny. So Donny is friends with my brother, that's how we met. About three weeks ago, my brother, Donny, a few of their friends and I went to the movies. After that, Donny came over to my house and we ended up having sex. He was a virgin. Since then, we have talked just about every day. Sometimes he comes over after school just to hang out. I am stuck on why he won't do anything sexual (except for that one night). My parents are never home when he is here. One weekend they went out of town and he came over, i was drunk with some of my friends and still nothing happened. Most guys would not pass up anything with a girl under the influence. Then a few nights ago he was in my room again and still nothing. Is he scared to do anything again or what?

Maybe, he isn't just a regular guy.
He's a possible gentleman, one of the very few the society has left.
Ask him about it, tell him how you feel, and that your not just interested in sex, your in it for a relationship, and you don't regret what happened between you two, but you'd like to take it slow.
Hope I helped.

Q: Female
21 yrs Old

Umm... エ met this boy I've been talking to him for over 3 months now. エ was a Virgin when エ met him, we hung out had a good time and next came the sex. エ wasnt scared nor did it hurt but after we were done エ had nothing to say to him... He calls エ didn't answer エ didn't kno how to react to him. NOW he won't answer his phone wen エ call... what cud that mean? Does it mean he doesn't want to be bothered with me anymore. Did エ turn him off, what cud it be. エ think ima have a nervous breakdown エ dnt kno what エ did to make him act like that. Please give me some advice....

Well, first & foremost, he probably feels rejected.
Try calling him, & leave him a voicemail, not too many though, you don't want to seem like a freak.
Tell him what happened, after you had sex, you didnt know how to react, have it planned out what your going to say.
If you really care for this guy, tell him.

Q: okay so i have a boyfriend. me and his best friend(eric) are really close and he likes me and i like him. my boyfriend is out of town. so me and eric are hanging out one night and we have an inside joke that at 11 each night we will have sexy time.last night we kinda had it. we were in his bed and we would take turns taking off clothes. he was in his boxers and i stole his shirt so i had everything but my bra on.he undid my bra. is this cheating?

Well, think of it this way.
If you was out of town, and your boyfriend and best girl friend was real close, and he was having "sexy time" with her, would you like it?

Q: IM 14, Female.
I am going on a cruise next year in Rome. I am so excited...the thing is i want to meet a guy or at least have a guy friend. Ive never kissed or had a boyfriend, i used to have guys that were my friends, but after sixth grade they stopped. I dont know what to do! Maybe im dorky. My friends are friends with popular kids but im not. Am i fat? Or ugly?
Description:
113 lbs
5'2"
Long Brown wavey hair, not gross hair i take care of it
green eyes
small nose
A size boobs
my friends say im gorgeous, but ive never seen a guy glance at me.
And how do I know if i act dorky, or dress weird?

Your DEFINATELY not fat...and judging by your description, your not ugly either.
After about the 6th grade, guys hit puberty, and it hits them hard. Mixed emotions, everything goes ballistic. I wouldnt worry too much about this.

If your around your friends, dont try to be something your not, just be yourself, if they're true friends, they wont care how you act.

As for the guy problems, I wouldn't worry about that either, guys dont tend to come out with their feelings.. especially around their friends.

Hope I helped.

Q: ok im 14 my boifriend is 16 which means he will be 18 when im 16 can he go to jail cause im under age and should i break up with him till i get older

it all depends where you live.
some places its illegal.
other places it isnt.
i just turned 15.
my boyfriend will be 18 THIS november!

but my parents are okay with our relationship, infact, they LOVE my boyfriend.

like the person below me said...
DONT get caught having sex.
then he could go to jail.
but..as long as your parents and his parents are fine with it..
there shouldnt be a problem

Q: I am a 22 year old female. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and everything in our relationship is good except he has a problem with my sexuality. It is REALLY hurting the relationship. I feel as if sex is more of a chore then anything else. We still have sex a good amount, but not as often as he would like. And he knows I do not enjoy it (dispite my acting haha). It's not that sex feels bad or anything, it actually just doesn't feel like anything at all. I can enjoy myself sexually by myself, but have never really gotten pleasure out of sex with any of my partners in my life. Maybe I am masterbating wrong, therefore my boyfriend cannot get me excited? I know that I am supposed to tell my partner what feels good to me, but I don't even know where to start. Nothing really feels that good.

This problem has really been wearing down on me and my relationship lately and I could really use the advice. Thank you for your time!!

Just try to find out what you like, while having sex with him, maneuver, and find out what styles you like best, or what positions, fast, slow, deep, shallow.
When my guys ontop of me, I sort of do a roll with my bottom half, works wonders on me =].

& While your having sex, think of your sexual fantasys, talk dirty with him while he's doin his stuff.

You said "I know that I am supposed to tell my partner what feels good to me, but I don't even know where to start."
You've been with this guy for two and 1/2 years.. it shouldnt matter what you say to him.

Just dont think about it, get in the mood.
Foreplay.
Go down on him, & let him go down on you.
Discover what makes you feel good, and what doesn't.
& tell him.
Hope I helped.

bio

Whats to say? I'm not so anonymous!
I'm a fifteen year old girl, that lives in the middle of no where, seriously! My parents are the best ever! They are the ones I go to for advise. I have an older sister, by three years, and a younger adopted brother, by 6 years.
I enjoy riding horses, swimming, camping, fishing, tanning, shopping, and hunting! So, I'm not your average girl. I HATE pink!
I have a best friend, of 6 years. She's beyond crazy! She inspires me in so many ways.
As for giving advise? I Love It! I'm here to answer any question you throw at me. Well, thats about it. Thanks for visiting my column!

If we value the pursuit of knowledge, we must be free to follow wherever that search may lead us. The free mind is not a barking dog, to be tethered on a ten-foot chain.

I'm absolutely inlove with Edward Cullen, from The Twilight Saga. My bedroom is decorated in him, I eat, sleep, breath, Edward Cullen =]!