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What Should エ do?
Female
21 yrs Old
Umm... エ met this boy I've been talking to him for over 3 months now. エ was a Virgin when エ met him, we hung out had a good time and next came the sex. エ wasnt scared nor did it hurt but after we were done エ had nothing to say to him... He calls エ didn't answer エ didn't kno how to react to him. NOW he won't answer his phone wen エ call... what cud that mean? Does it mean he doesn't want to be bothered with me anymore. Did エ turn him off, what cud it be. エ think ima have a nervous breakdown エ dnt kno what エ did to make him act like that. Please give me some advice....
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Not answering his phone calls was a horrible choice to make. You probably made him feel like you just didn't care about him. It's oaky though. You should be able to fix this. Find a way to apologize to him. But if he is the type of guy that just wanted to get into your pants then I'd just forget about him.
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Guys have feelings too.
Sure, maybe he enjoyed the sex but he was probably looking forward to, at least, keeping in contact with you. Even if nothing came of it, he probably felt a connection with you enough to where he had some feelings for you, which you totally crushed when you had sex with him and stopped answering the phone.
Believe it or not, some guys only have sex with people they really care about. For all you know, he was desperately hoping to become your boyfriend and was calling after the sex to see if you had decided you wanted the same. If he already had low self esteem he may have only given himself to you so that you would be his girlfriend, but, of course, you don't know this because you aren't him.
Not answering the phone turns EVERYONE off. If you kept calling one of your good friends for a month and she never answered you'd probably be a little upset too. If you tried calling someone you loved after you shared a very intimate side of you and they didn't answer--how would you feel? Like dirt. That's how.
You treated him like a piece of meat and he was hurt. You did all of this. You should have kept talking to him after the sex but, stupidly, you thought the best way around this was to ignore the guy and pretend he had no feelings.
Call him and apologize for being a cunt to him. He probably has moved on and will not be the same person you felt he was in the end because YOU HURT HIM. Do not expect all smiles from him right away because he's not trusting of you anymore and you will have to build that back up if you want to be with him.
It sounds to me like you're a bit self-centered. You found a guy that would have sex with you and then you dropped him like he wasn't even alive. You need to think of others in your actions and how you would feel if the roles were reversed. He now is treated you the exact same way you treated him--and you deserve it.
Call and apologize in any way you can.
Write a letter of apology and send it to him.
Send him an email or an instant message about apologizing.
Show him you're sorry and that you made a huge mistake. NEVER do this again with ANYONE, no matter what! Nobody likes to be treated this way! NOBODY!
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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call him and leave a voice mail letting him know how your felt afterwards and how you feel now. i agree with the advice you have already recieved. he most likely felt rejected or you didnt like the sex or you used him for it.
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Well, first & foremost, he probably feels rejected.
Try calling him, & leave him a voicemail, not too many though, you don't want to seem like a freak.
Tell him what happened, after you had sex, you didnt know how to react, have it planned out what your going to say.
If you really care for this guy, tell him.
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Let us look at this from his point of view:
From his perspective you used him for sex then stopped taking his calls.
What would YOU do if a boy had sex with you, then stopped talking to you? Would you wait around until he decided to talk to you again? Heck no! You would be heart broken, totally rejected and feel completely used... a total fool.
That is how you made him feel. Don't expect him to "get over it" pain like that usually lasts a lifetime. I would still try to explain it to him, in letter format, though, and I wouldn't expect a response.
The only way he has to heal a broken heart is to completely remove any thought of you from his life. Just the same way you would try to do if a boy did to you, what you did to him.
Writing a letter explaining things may make him feel better. He may even forgive you... but ask yourself why he would ever trust you or put you in a position to break his heart again.
It scares me that you: "...dnt kno what エ did to make him act like that." How can you be 21 and not get this?
To be clear: You gave him a part of yourself, and he gave you a part of himself.
What happened next: He loved the part of you that you gave him. You rejected the love he gave you in return.
I hope you learn from this, and don't treat anyone else this way in the future.
DN.
P.S. Using a non-standard character to emphasize yourself: "エ met ... エ was ... エ wasnt ... エ didn't ... エ call ... エ think..." and so on makes you look like an egotistical person who is completely self centered. Might be time to rethink the writing style too.
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