xlostangelx's advice column | xlostangelx's Advice About Work/School Relationships

Hey! My name is Ashlea. I've been a member on here for a few years. I'm 24 years old and have a little baby boy. I'm pretty outgoing and I love to joke around. I have a very strong sense of humor and I love making people laugh. I don't care too much about what other people think about me because in the end, you're all you got. Nothing else matters but your true opinion of yourself. I think everyone is beautiful in their own ways. I never look down on anyone nor do I judge people for their decisions or lifestyles.

I love to listen to music. That's probably the only reason I like driving, otherwise, It'd be boring as hell. I love spending time with my son. He is by far the best thing that's ever happened to me. He is my best friend and when I'm with him, nothing else matters. The whole world could pass me by, and as long as I have him, it doesn't matter one bit. He's the only one who can truly make me smile. I am truly happy because of him. I love spending money when I have it, and sometimes, that can be a bad habit. I love to write poems, and am told I am very good at it, but only when I'm upset or bothered by something. Lately, though, I have not written any. I also enjoy writing. I seem to have a way with words and I love how a paper sounds after I write it. It makes me sound more intelligent.(lol) I also like to watch movies, mostly comedy and drama...I hate action movies and boy-ish movies. Horror movies give me nightmares(yes, even at this age.) ...I like to go on the computer alot and I love meeting new people, so feel free to get in touch with me!

I hate people who think they are better than you, and people who are snobby or stuck-up. Having that attitude will never get you anywhere in life, and I look at it as a sign of immaturity. I like to be around people that within the first 5 minutes of talking to them you know that you will already feel comfortable with them because they are that down to earth. I can't stand people who criticize other people and their lives. Understand that you, as well, have things about your life that you do not like...so you wouldn't like it very much if people talked about you in a bad way, would you? We're all human, we all make mistakes and run into bad situations. Things happen that we can't control. These are all parts of life though and can be handled with the help of others, which is why negative criticism is not needed.

I believe that what you can't control, you have to let go. Too often we hang onto things when we have no control or power over its outcome, so in the end, life will take its course and we have to just go with it.

I guess some people would say I can be selfish at times, although I choose not to believe that(lol), and if things don't go my way, i WILL be upset. But, I also learn to get over it and move on. I love giving advice. Everyone I know say that's the one thing they love about me the most...I never judge anyone on any of their problems and I truly do enjoy helping people with their problems in any way I can. I will go to any extent I have to in order to help someone else. I have a habit of putting other people's needs ahead of my own. I have been giving people advice and helping people so much with their problems that I don't even get that GREAT feeling anymore from helping people. It's just in my nature and I am happy to just be able to be of some sort of help to anyone: stanger or friend.

I am not here for the ratings or comments. I am only here to help you, and I hope to recieve help in return when I am in need as well. I understand how sometimes you just need somebody to talk to...someone that understands. So don't be afraid to ask me any questions about anything...i'll help you with anything I can. If there is anything I can help you with that you would like to discuss privately, you can note me in my inbox or email me as well as instant message me on AIM. I would be glad to help you. hope to hear from you soon!!

♥ .even the people that never frown...eventually b r e a k . d o w n. ♥

advice

A teacher this year, that taught me in a subject that wasn't my strongest, so I'd always coming for extra help after school, and naturally we got to know each other, but as the year came to an end, I started to realize that he was treating me different, I started to realize that sometimes he would flirt with me, but he really never did anything that made me feel weird or uncomfortable but after awhile, he started doing things, like making fun of little things I would do in class, or he would say, 'I love you, I just want you to know that.', or you will always have a special place in my heart. and when he saw me before graduation, he told me I looked beautiful, and said that this year has been a year he won't forget, because he feels that he has become a better person, teacher, everything because I opened his eyes to giving people an opportunity to succeed.The year was full of moments like that.

Now, I am starting to question how I feel about him, It's like he slowly seduced me all year? I just don't know if these 'feelings' between us are real? I graduated so I am no longer a student at school and I just don't know why all of a sudden, I find myself feeling this way. Its like as long as I was a student at the same school that he was my teacher I would never have even looked at him like that, but now, Its like things have changed, and I don't know what to think about the situation. He never bluntly asked me out or anything, but he did say at the end of the year that he did like me, and he hoped that any guy who dates me realizes how lucky they are.

I will be 19 next February, and he will be 25 this August. I know all of this must sound pretty stupid, but I just wanted to see what others thought, because sometimes people get caught up and don't see things clearly, and I am starting to wonder if this is just my mind playing tricks on me, or if maybe something is there. I do know that teacher/Student relationships are usually frowned upon, so thats why I felt so unclear as to what I should do next. Do I test the waters with him, or just forget him all together? Does any of this, even sound like he really has feelings for me?? Its sort of like, my heart tells me one thing, but the reality of the way people think makes me feel like I have to think otherwise.

What do you guys think about all of this?!?

First off, it was respectful and professional of him not to try anything with you while you were his teacher...he probably just couldn't help but say the little comments he did say.

The age difference is not bad at all. Don't even let that be an issue in your mind.

In my opinion, I would say go for it. He is not your teacher anymore, and I honestly don't see how anyone could frown upon it since you are not his student anymore. You are both adults and there is nothing wrong with your intentions.

If there is any way you could get in contact with him, by all means, go for it. Email may be best the first time you are contacting him because it wouldn't be awkward and you can just make it short and sweet such as "hey, this is (your name). Just wanted to say hey and thanks for being such a great teacher this year. Hope to hear from you soon." This may get things started and in case it doesn't, at least you won't feel silly for contacting him since it would be short and innocent. But, it gives him the chance to contact you back if he is interested.

Good luck and I really hope it works out! Sounds like a great guy. Take care.