|
Is this just my mind playing tricks on me?? I have this teacher...
A teacher this year, that taught me in a subject that wasn't my strongest, so I'd always coming for extra help after school, and naturally we got to know each other, but as the year came to an end, I started to realize that he was treating me different, I started to realize that sometimes he would flirt with me, but he really never did anything that made me feel weird or uncomfortable but after awhile, he started doing things, like making fun of little things I would do in class, or he would say, 'I love you, I just want you to know that.', or you will always have a special place in my heart. and when he saw me before graduation, he told me I looked beautiful, and said that this year has been a year he won't forget, because he feels that he has become a better person, teacher, everything because I opened his eyes to giving people an opportunity to succeed.The year was full of moments like that.
Now, I am starting to question how I feel about him, It's like he slowly seduced me all year? I just don't know if these 'feelings' between us are real? I graduated so I am no longer a student at school and I just don't know why all of a sudden, I find myself feeling this way. Its like as long as I was a student at the same school that he was my teacher I would never have even looked at him like that, but now, Its like things have changed, and I don't know what to think about the situation. He never bluntly asked me out or anything, but he did say at the end of the year that he did like me, and he hoped that any guy who dates me realizes how lucky they are.
I will be 19 next February, and he will be 25 this August. I know all of this must sound pretty stupid, but I just wanted to see what others thought, because sometimes people get caught up and don't see things clearly, and I am starting to wonder if this is just my mind playing tricks on me, or if maybe something is there. I do know that teacher/Student relationships are usually frowned upon, so thats why I felt so unclear as to what I should do next. Do I test the waters with him, or just forget him all together? Does any of this, even sound like he really has feelings for me?? Its sort of like, my heart tells me one thing, but the reality of the way people think makes me feel like I have to think otherwise.
What do you guys think about all of this?!?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
I vote for you getting a bit caught up and not seeing things clearly.
Let this crush go for a while. Your world is about to expand way beyond high school. There will be college, work and new people in abundance. It’s a scary thing, and I’d bet your fear is at least one reason you are so suddenly attracted to this one nice piece of high school.
But this isn’t the time for holding on to the past. It’s a time to move forward and discover yourself.
Does it sound to me like he has romantic feelings for you? He might have some inclination, but I kinda doubt it.
It sounds to me like he is a 25 year-old-guy, a nice friendly one, who has learned how to say kind things to women he has plutonic feelings for. Many good guys DO learn how to pay those complaints eventually. Actually, they seem to figure it out about the same time that women figure out that not every guy who pays her a sweet compliment wants to be her life mate.
It also sounds like he is a nice, but inexperienced, 25-year-old teacher, who needs to be reminded that teenagers are apt to interpret things very differently then adult are. That isn’t an insult. It’s just the truth. I had, and you will have, a very different emotional vocabulary at 19 then at 25.
Let it go for now. If it still plagues you in a year or so, come back to it after you've put some distance between your student/teacher relationship, because it isn’t just about 'what people think', is it also unhealthy to pursue a romantic relationship out of a teacher/student one. It has a lot of baggage and can be very damaging to you. It is wrong for the same reason it is wrong for doctors to treat their own family members (sure, it’s not AS problematic as that, but it’s the same basic principal).
Try to look forward, rather then backwards.
]
Go for it! You obviously impacted his life in a positive way, and he has strong feelings for you as it is.
I think you should give him a chance and ask to meet up for coffee or something. If things don't work out between the two of you, then at least you know you tried, and you never have to see him again.
:)
]
First off, it was respectful and professional of him not to try anything with you while you were his teacher...he probably just couldn't help but say the little comments he did say.
The age difference is not bad at all. Don't even let that be an issue in your mind.
In my opinion, I would say go for it. He is not your teacher anymore, and I honestly don't see how anyone could frown upon it since you are not his student anymore. You are both adults and there is nothing wrong with your intentions.
If there is any way you could get in contact with him, by all means, go for it. Email may be best the first time you are contacting him because it wouldn't be awkward and you can just make it short and sweet such as "hey, this is (your name). Just wanted to say hey and thanks for being such a great teacher this year. Hope to hear from you soon." This may get things started and in case it doesn't, at least you won't feel silly for contacting him since it would be short and innocent. But, it gives him the chance to contact you back if he is interested.
Good luck and I really hope it works out! Sounds like a great guy. Take care.
]
Hm, that's a tough one. Student/teacher relationships are frowned upon - but I'm pretty sure that's only an issue if the person is currently your teacher. Since you have graduated that's not really a problem anymore. And 19 and 25 isn't that bad of an age difference.
Also, it was good that, though he may have flirted, he never did anything to make you feel uncomfortale or awkward. Which shows that he may actually have feelings for you, and was hoping maybe for a relationship in the future, and wasn't just being all "predator-ish", lol.
The only part I found *slightly* strange, was him telling you that he loved you. It seemed a bit odd and hasty if he meant it like that. But still, he said some wonderful things to you when you graduated. I think part of the reason you never thought of him like that before was because he WAS your teacher. So it's hard to picture him as anything else. But now picturing him saying all that as just a friend makes all the difference.
Do you have any means of contacting him? Because if so then maybe it wouldn't hurt to talk to him again. But if you're unsure about your feelings, then don't make it seem as if you're talking to him because you want to go out with him. Find some reason to just strike up a conversation so that you two can maintain contact and you can find out more about him. Then after that see how you feel, and if any real feelings form. Then you can test the waters and see if you're ready for a relationship with him. And if you really do like him and things work out between the two of you, don't worry about what other people think, it's up to you to decide how you feel and if the person is right for you.
]
13-F
Well, in my opinion, you guys don't sound like you have a "normal" student/teacher relationship to just ignore
Your of of school, an adult, and free to do as you please
If I were you in his situation, I would maybe go and try out a replationshit with him
Although, it might seem a little akward in the beginging, but I'm sure it woul grow into something
x
And it really does AND doesnt sound like he was trying anything with you
I, nor anybody can tell you how to live your life, or direct you IN your love life
You've gotta make decsisons that seem crazy like this one
x
Id you feel like you ma like him, I'd say go for it
But who am I to tell you want to do?
=D
Hope I helped
And good luck
-KlutzyKim
]
More Questions: |