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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
advice
My middle child and only son is 9 almost 10 and we moved in June and in august my older kids started at their new s schools apparently my son has been doing awful he never mentioned anything and neither did the school and now as the semester is ending his teacher sends us a note about his poor grades how do I help him with school please take into account i have a new job and 4 daughters that also need me
A move can affect a childs performance in a new school. Then may regret leaving friends behind and have problems with making new ones so school is no longer fun and they lose interest. The school should have counselors you can talk to if this is the problem. Even if you ask your son, he may not realize that this is why he isn't doing well.
Another problem may be that schools only teach in one learning style which may not be his. It may not have been apparent at younger ages but 4,5 6 are the older grades and it becomes more obvious then.
The school district should have a person who can test him to see what his actual grade level is and his learning style.
I mention this as my last child was way behind in reading and some in math. The schools are afraid to hold kids back and even tho I insisted, wouldn't let her repeat a grade, feeling it would damage her psyche. So we had her tested and she was naturally at a grade level behind. We put her in a private school where parents need to participate putting in help at times with fund raisers, and teachers met often with parents. After a year there, she was back on track and we moved her back to public schools because of the cost for private.
Another thing I've heard, tho she wasn't in Montessori schools, my new husbands daughter was. He mentioned walking into a classroom of elementary kids and not a single one fidgeted, all had excellent attention spans and were working hard like college students. The staff said the reason why is that parents had to sign a promise to not allow the kids to have any sugar. They could tell when a child had sugar at home the night before because the next day, they'd be acting up. So as the other advice giver said, I would not assume right off that its ADD or some such thing. Apparently cutting sugar intake can help a lot. I am guessing in your case, it could be a combo of things, missing friends, not liking new school, teacher doing a bad job of working with him, wrong learning style taught/used, and perhaps amount of sugar in his system.
Call and ask to have a meeting with any and all of his teachers, school counselor and see if they can work harder to keep you in the loop and together all of you come up with a plan that all agree upon.
I had that with the elem/jr hi mix school my kids were in for middle school. They would call all the teachers, and counselors to a parent meeting with the child. I was happiest with that school because they were so willing to work with me.
If you don't get cooperation from the school, you may have to try another school, although if the move was the main problem, that won't fix things, only make it worse. You might want to check things out with a tutor or check if your school system has a person who can test for learning styles which if different than how he learns, he may need a tutor to help him cus the school isn't going to change for struggling kids.
I wish you the best. Dont despair, a half year may be gone but with dedicated school staff working with you and the child, lots can be done to pass the grade in the 2nd half. That happened with me with middle child.
So i have tried every birth control method the birth control patch, the pill, and the Depo shot but my body dosnt react well with either one of tbem it tends to make my periods last more than 2 weeks are tbere any other forms of birth control out there
I'd like to add more about the IUD. There are now two kinds. The original which I used, is a copper IUD. The more recent on the market has hormones just like all the other hormone based birth control methods you've used.
I was a virgin and had it put in right before I got married. I felt a twinge of pain but that pain was nothing compared to the period cramps I used to get. Everyones different.
Heres the benefits: While it is more cost up front at once than the ones you've used, its a one time cost and it can last up to 10 years unless they have changed it some. If you split the bigger cost down to the number of months and total years you have it in, the cost will be lots less than what it is now.
It makes for carefree sex. It has a better rating than all the other birth controls in preventing pregnancy.
Few people ever have any side effects.
You still get a normal period so your reproductive system is not messed up as with hormonal contraceptives. Once it is taken out, you can try for children immediately unlike with the others where your bodys natural cycle may be messed up and you have to wait for all of it to leave your system.
So how does it work? The copper that is released is not harmful to you but makes your uterine lining too slippery for the egg to attach and you are not pregnant until it can attach. This is how long ago before modern contraception, the old medicine women provided flowers or seed of the wild carrot for a tea to prevent contraception. Thats a hassle because the tea has to be taken daily to give the same effect, making the uterus too slippery for egg to attach and it wasn't as good as copper.
Heres a link to Paragard, the name of the copper IUD. I suggest you ask the Dr. about it. Mine mentioned the stuff about pain of insertion. I insisted I wanted it cus my Mom had used one and said it was the best. Inserting wasn't painful actually. Didn't feel the twinges until after.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/paragard/basics/definition/PRC-20013048
Is it socially acceptable? What do you think?
The only issue is as the last person stated that even if its dating and no sex, many people would be suspicious and the 17 yr olds parents if they had a problem with it could legally make trouble. This is about laws to protect minors from being sexually molested and there has to be a cut off date as to when one is considered a consenting adult and that age is 18.
Other than that, there isn't any reason why a person can't date anyone younger. There are many adults dating or married to someone younger than them. I know that typically, the guy is usually same age or older than the female. But theres no law that dictates that. It's simply how it happens. My husband is a yr younger than me but I didnt meet him as 2nd husband till he and I was in late forties. I used to have a next door neighbor/friend, she was around 5-7 yrs older than her husband.
Personally, what I find more important age gap wise is whether there can be a meeting of the minds. At your ages, people are quickly growing and maturing mentally and in life experiences and so its possible that there can be an issue of maturity vs immature yet. Then when older, if the age gap is 15 to 20 yrs, its a matter of a generation gap and most will find it hard to relate to the other because what one grew up with the other has never heard of or experienced and though some still make it work, it can present issues in the relationship after some time.
Like diet, exercises, etc?
Like breasts, stomach and butt?
Ditto to everything adviceman said. I have some homework for you too.
Do a search for 'Female celebrities with and without makeup" See what they really look like without makeup, just the same as the majority of the population. Their beauty is all an image that media and companys who sell makeup, diet stuff, clothes, etc advertise heavily to make a profit off poeople with a low self image.
You know that saying that Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder? Well, throughout history, the idea of what is considered Beauty has changed vastly and doesn't even come near what the media portrays today. Its all so fickle. Renaissance painters showed nude women with small breats and rounded tummys. The fifties were the hourglass shape like Marilyn Monroe, a big boned woman. The 60s were beehive hair styles and the Twiggy model look which according to todays standards would be considered anorexic but it was the standard of beauty then. Now how is a fine boned petite gal supposed to achieve the hourglass look if she doesnt even have that bone structure.
You need to retrain yourself as to what "Normal " is for a womans look.
http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php
Heres something else for you to look at regarding what the vast arrange of different breast sizes and shapes and nipples and areolas really are. Real women posted just chest shots and something about themselves. I've read young women say they have a bf who is happy with her breasts even if the photo showed they were very small, almost flat. What men find more attractive if it comes to choosing between looks and self confidence is the self confidence. The average looking woman who is not dressed up to look like a model and has self confidence in her appearance will attract more men than the model type who doesnt think she is pretty. I know this because I read a report of a experiment done on men in a room of both types of women. Change the way you think about beauty, stop falling for media's portrayal of beauty and work on your self confidence is what is needed here.
If you are teen aged and you hear degrading remarks from your peers, you are listening to the wrong people because at that age, we all are very susceptible to falling for and believing in medias image of beauty. They are comparing you to an image that is impossible for women to meet.
And lastly an old video you may not have seen from 2011 of how a model ends up looking like a totally different person because of airbrushing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17j5QzF3kqE
My boyfriend of a year wants to have sex Friday nigt and i said yes but now i am freaking out because i never told him that i was molested by my dad when i was 3. My dad died when i was 9 so he is no longer in the picture. But i never told my boyfriend about my dad molesting me amd i am terrified. I have never told him i am still a virgin. Does he need to know?
Hsve you ever seen a counselor about the molestation? If you haven't thats a big priority.
I know it may be embarassing to talk with the bf but if you ever want to be in a long term relationship or have kids someday, you will need the right kind of therapy with professionals to get past this.
Forcing yourself to have sex even if you are terrified is the wrong thing to do. Forget the fact that you are a virgin. Thats not going to make your problem go away by having sex to lose virginity.
He has to know something. I figure you said yes because you are afraid of losing him. However a relationship built on lies, or half truths, or omitting information is another sure way to upset a partner and possibly lose them.
If he really cares and loves you, he will be supportive. He's hung in there a year with no sex, so he must feel you are very special. If it were someone you met only recently like a month ago and you don't want to tell, well, you could always choose to cancel and split up without explanation.
But this guy needs to know that he is not going to get sex yet. Wouldn't you rather have him supporting you to get healed from this event of the past by seeing a professional. It is not a shame to be a virgin. And you certainly have a good reason. So if you tell him you are a virgin because of the molestation and that you want to get healed so that you can have a loving healthy relationship with him that includes sex, I am sure he'll understand.
OK so I forgot to mention that the doctors did a hormonal test or whatever it is called... The said that everything was more or less OK but one of the hormones was either too high or too low... Also the ultra sound was OK...and the cause may because of stress and the fact that I did many clean outs in a year along with change to vegan. Then changing back... The thing is I really hate doctors because my mom can't afford a good private doctor and where I live the public is long and tiresome also one of the doctors said that if I bleed like this again I will be kept in the hospital which I can't afford to do since I have the most important exam in my life soon and I can't be sick.....
When hormones are out of whack, I've heard that Drs also prescribe the pill to help regulate it.While the pill is mostly known as a contraceptive, Drs will at times have a patient take it to see if it helps and it seems to for many. Can't say if it will help you but you might ask them about that again.
I've never worked a register before and this is my first job. The manager said that he's giving me a chance with this job since I have no experience. I really don't want to mess this up and have them fire me because I don't know what I'm doing. He told me that I always need to be busy, even when there's no customers.
Yes, its as adviceman says with cash. I work register at fast food place. So the pace is just as fast and constant as a line at the grocery. I have had customers hand me too much money, usually an extra dollar or extra change, so do count carefully. The manager counts tills at end of your shift to be sure that all is in there as should be. they watch carefully to make sure employees don't steal cash. If handed any crisp new bills, I have found they tend to stick together so rub thumb and forefinger to see if there is a second bill attached to loosen it. In my job I am not always at the register, there are slow times and I have been trained for those tasks, if not expiditing orders, I am resupplying stock, wiping tables, sweeping, etc.
At the grocery, they should train you as to what those other tasks might be so that you know what to do when you dont have a line of customers.
Heck, I've been to Walmart at a slow time when two cashiers came and just stood out in front of the aisle where customers could see them. Just standing, smiling and asking if I was ready to checkout yet. they were doing nothing else, no other tasks to remain busy. So it really depends on what your manager prefers. If he's too picky or harsh with you or a poor trainer, and you end up losing it, you can always try fast food. Its a place where younger people can get the experience they need and later move on to another job. I'm there cus I wanted part time work and to be partly retired.
Hi I'm a 23years old lady with two kids a boy and a girl whit the same guy and give being wit him for over 9 to 10 years by this guy has never stopped mixing me wit other ladies i mean he always cheated on me n wen I find out I always go back home but he always come to get me back n one time went back home n i decided to just forget about him n move on II try to meet new people but I ended up being wit him again n he tosured me for being wit others n dat time he also had other people in his life n we got back together he tried to show love n keep on saying he loves me and I'm de woman he want to spend his life wit bcoz of the love I have for him I believed him. Not long after all dat he went back to Wat he is good at wish is cheating n every time I try to talk to him he gets very angry n end up beating me for the fact that I checked his phone n found out that he is in love wit someone else, so don't know what to do should I go back home or Wat I love this guy a lot but isn't keep on being a fool for love please help
Being in love with him is going to be your downfall dear. I was with a husband who was verbally abusive for all my marriage of almost 30 yrs. At the end he was progressing to more like shoving me out of his way. Around the 10 yr mark, all the love I had that was never returned, finally fizzled out. And then I stayed because of financial reasons.
I assume he only hits you, not the kids. Even if he never does, you still need to think about the kids.
As they grow up, whatever they witness every day, they either believe is normal and the way things should be because they really have no other comparisons to make at that age, or they try to copy their parents, in everything. Its natural to see parents talking, walking and want to do the same but that extends also to our bad habits, and bad behavior. Staying with him is doing your children a disservice.
I had all daughters and they grew up seeing him verbally abuse me. He also got angry and yelled at them often or acted like a child and picked verbal fights with them. I now feel bad for staying with him until they became adults. It warped their ideas of what healthy relationships should be or made em gun shy of getting involved with a guy. Last report is that the oldest daughter is with a very bad abusive guy and had her kids taken away by CPS, the middle daughter dates but would prefer to just be on her own as a cat lady, and only the youngest decided to search for someone who is the opposite of her Dad.
Staying in a toxic relationship doesn't mean you are a fool or stupid. Its a process, lots of it I believe is a mental process. I went to counseling for a while to gain some sane insights. A toxic person will try to separate you from family, friends and society. I have friend who when pregnant with 2nd child, the abusive husband kicked her in the stomach and she lost the child bleeding all over the kitchen floor. When she went to agencys for help because like your guy, he'd track her down and drag her back home, someone finally told her, "Since he's so good at tracking you down if you stay around here, my suggestion is to cut off all ties to people you both know, pack your son in your car and just start driving across the country to get as far away as you can. Keep phone unlisted, and hopefully he'll never find you.
I hope it doesnt take such measures for you to get away when you are finally ready. But most abused women try 7 times to leave an abusive man before being successful. Going back to your parents or anywhere he knows where to search for you is not going to work. You already know that. He'll come and drag you away again and again and again.
Here's a link to the National Domestic Violence with their phone numbers and an article on 50 obstacles women face to leaving their abusers.
http://www.thehotline.org/2013/06/50-obstacles-to-leaving-1-10/
It would be best if you got in touch with counselors who work with battered abused women. Its not really about his cheating anymore but the abuse dumped on you.
OK hi I am 17 years and September I didn't have my period. Then I got it late October... It lasted for 21 days with clots... No pain just constant bleeding then 2 weeks after it finished I got a another period which lasted like 22 +days same thing clots etc. I went to the doctor and they did a cbc which said my blood count is low 2 weeks later they did another and they said it dropped...they suggest birth control as an option. I was kinda skeptical so they said I can go another month and if it stops I don't have to take it and well that I should eat food to increase the iron in my body. Well the bleeding continued and when I went back they gave me provera and ferrous sulfate. When I took the provera it was night and when I woke up I was bleeding heavily... Then when I took a bath etc. I realized the bleeding had stop... During the day there was just one drop of blood. As I continued it stopped completely the thing is though I was given enough for ten days and well I still have more... I don't recall the doc saying if I need to take it until it stop or until the medication is done. Also what will happen when every pill is done will the bleeding continue... I am scared I want a normal period again... The doc said this is occuring because I am stressed plz help me.... What can I do until my next appointment in January?
Provera is prescribed only to stop bleeding, not find the source of what is causing it.
My daughter had a friend in 7th grade who began bleeding heavily non stop and Drs. prescribed the pill for her. I asked my own Dr. why the pill might be prescribed and found it is routinely given to young girls whose periods tend to be heavy. But mind you, these were regular length periods, just heavy. YOurs is a different situation. I suggest getting a 2nd or 3rd opinion from other Drs. checking you out.
In the meanwhile, heres a trick I learned as heavy bleeding can occur occasionally during the menopause phase of a period slowly stopping. It does all the same weird stuff in menopause that we put up with as teens.
To immediately stop heavy bleeding, you put your forefinger under your nose as if trying to stop a sneeze, pressing hard up against the bottom of nose and the area just under. Just hold it there for a few minutes. You may have to try up to 5 min. If that doesn't stop the bleeding, go to emergency as suggested already. Too much blood loss and you can pass out or die. My husband was bleeding in his stomach and didnt know it until he passed out. I had to drive him to emergency lasat January. Constant heavy bleeding is a very serious thing.
Your Gen. medicine Dr. or even Gynecologist may only know of the most common female complaints and have no expertise on the other issues women can get with their cycles. I wouldn't wait til Jan to see the same Dr. Call around and see if anyone else is available and tell all, that you've been seen by a Dr. What they suggest, what was prescribed, everything. I am praying for a successful recovery to health for you.
What is the difference between a head job and a blow job
According to slang dictionary when I looked it up, its just another term for oral sex, blow job, fellatio.
A little back story...
This isn't just any celeb, literally my #1 favorite and I've been totally smitten with him for many (6-7) years. And he's always been #1 on my Celebrity Freebie List.
Never thought in a million years I'd be in the situation I am in right now...
I can't say who he is for fear of ruining my shot here, lol. But if you're under 30 years old you most likely know who he is.
It started out when I was just following him on Snap Chat. I didn't know he had followed me back, until every once in a while he'd reply to a photo on my story with a simple "haha" or something like that. Made my day every time. Then, over the course of about 6-7 months, we'd talk a little here and there.
More recently, we've started talking every day and moved to texting. (My heart nearly pounded out of my chest when I got that first text).
He is obviously attracted to me, but he is sometimes very guarded, I think he knows how risky it is to have this kind of relationship with a fan. lol. (And yes, I am 100% positive it is really him).
Anyway, a couple of times he's mentioned visiting me. He lives a few hundred miles away, not too crazy of a flight or anything. At first, it started out as him talking about going to a nearby big city where he has friends he said he'd visit as well if I wanted to drive up there and meet him. Then he asked about where I live, if I live with my family and hinted at just staying at my place during his visit.
Let me just pause and say WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS HAPPEN TO? LIKE, AM I DREAMING?? WWWTTTTFFFFF
Ahem.. anyway.
I think it's safe to say that he's looking for little more than a hook up, but I'm fine with that. I don't think he's really the type I'd want a real relationship anyway.
So what the hell is the problem here? Right?
Well... I'm not single. My boyfriend (of 2.5 years) and I have a house together and everything. And see, I didn't tell my celeb guy because my boyfriend said it was totally okay to flirt with him, and I just didn't expect it to get to this point.
And to add another (complicated) twist to this story, a few weeks ago, a friend of mine found my boyfriend on a dating app. Awesome, huh? Well, he started going to counseling as he says he has an addiction. This wasn't the first time this has happened, either. So our relationship is sort of on the rocks right now, which makes the celeb hookup even more tempting.
My boyfriend says to do what I want, but I can tell it'd crush him if I went through with this hook up. My real hang up is trying to decided if my boyfriend is right for me, and / or if this is something I would regret too much for the rest of my life to pass up on. I want to live my life to the fullest, and again, how often does this happen to anybody??
Sigh. Send help!
P.S. I'm 26 years old and female.
It sounds like both you and your boyfriend are both wanting sex outside of your relationship, whether once or twice or many times. Depending on the situation, theres such a thing as a 'open marriage' where each can have a permanent lover on the side and swingers can be single or in a relationship.
I've been there with my ex. It wasnt because of this that he's my ex. He was abusive.
So I know all the pitfalls to gettingh either a platonic but emotional relationship on the side, or a sexual one or both.
Your bf may have a sexual addiction but that means he wants sex all day long and goes after it to the point it interferes with regular life, like his job, giving time to you, household chores, time for his family or anything else he is committed to. You only said he was on a dating site. Having another sex partner besides the one you are committed to in your core relationship is not a crime.
However it isn't easy for the average person to pull off. Most people start comparing, get jealous, don't discuss things with their partner, don't set ground rules or boundaries. Even in a club patroled by members to make sure no one was being forced against their will, there were the occasional times a guy wouldn't honor the "use condoms' rule and try to force the gal if her bf/husband wasn't in the same room to protect her.
Until you've gotten to know a person, first time sex can go wrong. I know I keep mentioning sex. But I have seen people get upset just seeing their partner pay attention to another like sitting and talking to for longer than they deemed okay, playing with her hair or dancing...nothing sexual. It happened to me, a wife upset simply cus she heard her husband laughing at things I said. (I'm a funny person) Maybe he didnt laugh as much at her so she was instantly jealous. It caused couples to leave the club or simply not do anything with me and the ex anymore.
The general rule taught to all who think they want even a one time hook up with someone is that if you are having trouble with your one relationship, then you won't be able to handle the repercussions of two or more or one night stands because it takes a certain amount of maturity, self confidence and more, to do so successfully. If your relationship is a bad one or rocky at best, this is a good way to see it fall totally apart.
Now I can't predict it will happen. But you did mention not just the bf but the house together.
If your relationship splits up over your one time meet up with a celeb, then the house is also at risk for being lost.
The decision is still yours. I believe its important to put ones all into their main relationship, to get it healthy and strong and stable and have permission from each other to start doing this sort of thing. And each of you have to be honest with each prospective new partner to let them know you are not single but have each other already. Its common courtesy so that if they have issues with being with someone whether once or on going, they get to make a choice to meet with you or not.
At the end you say its more about whether the bf is right for you. I have a document I can send you but you'd need to do a lot of thinking and writing homework to come up with a list that you can refer to when trying to decide if this bf is right or any future ones. Owning the house is a big commitment, one that really should come after you've learned how to determine that you have Mr. Right, or know how to spot him. If you want me to share that document with you, let me know.
Growing up i wouldnt say i was the prettiest girl in the world, no boys had a crush on me except for one who quickly got over it when a girl who liked him and was my friend at the time said "ew you like her?" then after that he got over it. This was in the 6th grade. Grade 9 comes along and i remember on orientation day these girls were looking at girls for this guy one girl pointed at me and the other girl said "ew no omfg shes so ugly" it hurt my feelings but i shrugged it off because they didnt know me (that girl who called me ugly ended up being one of my friends until graduation). Anyways grade 10 comes along and a guy makes a joke about me to his friend so basically his friend liked my friend but she didnt like him back so the guy made a joke saying "since it wont work out with her you should go out with her friend" and then he started dying of laughter and then his friend said "hell no". Again i took offense to this but shrugged it off, grade 11 comes along and i was minding my own business talking to my friend when this guy looked at me then told his friend "shes sooo beat" which in slang means ugly where im from, i rolled my eyes but it still hurt my feelings since he was one of the popular guys but i guess i should say whos laughing now because i graduated high school and hes still there. So grade 12 nothing really happened because everyone was focused on getting into a university/college. Anyways its summer vacation and im wearing a maxi skirt a guy yelled out of the car and said "daaaamn" then when i turned around he got so quiet and had a shocked look on his face, he ended up quickly looking away.Anyways growing up ive been insecure with how my face looks, the insecurity was so bad that from grade 9-10 i wouldnt take any pictures cause i didnt wanna see how ugly i was or anyone else to see posts of how ugly i am. My insecurity is still very much alive i have an instagram but wont post any selfies i only post group pics. Another thing that pisses me off is im not over weight but im curvy so whenever i tell my parents how ugly i am they only comment on my body shape, and even my cousins wife said she wishes her daughter gets my body shape. Body shape can change but your face (apart from aging) stays with you forever. Please if you have any tips on how to be more confident it would really help! Im in university now and confidence is key in forming relationships i guess
Do yourself a favor and start doing searches on "Female Celebritites with and without makeup". I have posted a link to one with 30 examples. #2 is Faith Hill country singer and the no makeup pic at first glance I thought was a man with long hair, thats how vastly different people can look from their natural untouched to made up look.
http://www.popsugar.com/fashion/Photos-Model-Twiggy-3089058#photo-3089058
Media's portrayal of what is the "In" look, or what is acceptable, what is beautiful, what is hot and sexy has always been warped and its all to make big bucks off people who have a low self confidence and who've suffered terrible remarks from their peers. The teen group is one of the biggest markets for makeup, clothing and other such things that make a person feel better about their self.
The truth is that the media has a twisted and ever changing idea of what is beauty. Before TV, there were only painters. Take a look at old paintings of nude women and they all had small boobs and rounded, not flat tummies. Thats how most people look but Media in Tv, radio, magazines, stores, etc have been fickle and I can't say who decided what beauty was but at one point Looking anorexic was touted by fashion media as the look everyone should strive for whether they had a body like that or not. Take the model Twiggy in the 60s. Check this link with photos. The most telling are photos #2, 9,10, 12. She looks anorexic to me.
However just a decade before, hour glass shapes were in for housewives and pin up model Marilyn Monroe had a big boned body with an hourglass shape. The image of what beauty is has continued to change through history.
The most impressionable are young children growing up seeing all the ads and peers their age who in wanting to be liked and accepted, caving in to the pressure and dressing and dolling up in attempts to look like current fashion dictates. ITs even spread now to males, can't overlook that market. Think on how many ads you see for what is considered a hot looking male and so many young males are starting to be ridiculed just like females who don't fit the current image.
Its not that your face is Ugly hon, but that ALL of your peers were comparing you to images that are unreal. Heres a very silly analogy but what if the next decades popular image of beauty entailed totally cutting off the outer ear with advertisers exclaiming "No longer will your ears mess up your perfect hairstyle. Earrings are no longer in, because we wear them on our lip, nose or eyebrow.
Want to know who really had the low self images? All of those who teased you, and all those who did every thing they could to have the latest fashion look just to be accepted. Sometimes family budget dictates that we can not meet that same expectation. That was the case for me. I got teased a lot. Whispers behind my back of being ugly. Or being called 4 eyes for wearing glasses.
I tended to once upon a time feel that I was really plain looking. NOw seeing celebs without makeup, I have realized that I look just the same as or even way better than lots of them.
You are now at an age where the foolishness of youth is beginning to vanish and many are starting to decide for themselves what look they really like for themselves and feel good about and what look they like in the opposite sex. By 30 most all of us have redefined ourselves from what students, friends, strangers and even family have labeled us.
I have had a first husband who never really loved me, a second husband who adores me and says I am the most beautiful woman ever. I am petite, late fifties, have fine wrinkled and salt and pepper long hair. We all will age and lose some of the looks of our youth. The deal is finding a man who loves you as a whole, who you are on the inside which he'll still have once the beauty of youth has aged. There are men who do not prefer my particular look. SOme are into redheads, blondes, curvy, taller, bigger or smaller boobs. And that is as it should be, there is no one size fits all as you've probably found out in clothing. Those never fit me. ITs the same with our looks, there is no one look that fits all.
Your peers are now older and probably have changed too and while some guys may not be attracted to your look, others will be. I still have men look at me and the bolder ones comment. I am still considered hot looking to enough.
Heres an trick for you to try that I did once. I wanted to boost my self confidence and read this in a ladies magazine article many years before and finally decided to try around the time I left my first husband so I was no spring chicken dear.
Find a celeb that you like and whom you feel you have one facial feature that may come close to looking like theirs. Doesn't matter if its mouth, nose, eyes, whole face, just the shape or maybe even hair. You are going to borrow their confidence until you've gotten your own. I chose my eyes cus I like my eyes and felt tho not exactly they fit a certain older actress. Then every time I left home to go anywhere or as I entered a building or a room where people were, I imagined myself as being that actress and peoples attention drawn to my eyes and I would be as confident and popular as the actress. It was astounding, some time might pass but before long, not just men, but women came up to me and all of them were exclaiming about my eyes, nothing else, just my eyes, on how beautiful they were. Half the time I wasn't even wearing makeup. The comments kept coming and I finally realized that it had nothing to do with what I really looked like that had them commenting. I met a gal once at a swim party who was hugely obese, maybe close to 4oo lbs. Another woman like that there, had no one around her. The one I mention had lots of people drawn to her, including me. The impression I was getting was that she was beautiful tho I would not normally think that of grossly obese people. It really wasnt her looks but something intangible that oozed from her as it had for me recently. What I picked up om and other people picked up about me were the self confidence, that I felt my eyes were beautiful. Well, now years later, its not just my eyes but all of me that men find beautiful. I do not follow media's example of what beauty is, so how can it be? ITs self confidence. Once men have matured and decided what look they are attracted to most, its still self confidence that wins their attention more than the look.
I read somewhere about a test done on men with a room full of women both model types and the average lookers. The men were attracted to the women with self confidence over the ones with the model looks if the model lacked self confidence.
I hope this helps you to see yourself in a different light dear. Good luck to you.
I have been seeing a married/separated guy for 5 yr
I admitt this started before he separated from his wife. I know this wrong but i got hooked my problem and now i am starting to see this relationship differently plus he recently allowed a new female roommate to stay with him but he insists nothing is going on.bbut there are other issues we mostly hookup now when i see him he used to take me out but now he frequently says he broke and i end up paying for dates, or he asks for money which i stopped giving cuz once he did not pay it back. I am starting to pull away from this relationship and he starting to notice should i have a talk or chuck this up to bad judgement on my part my move on with my life. He was still contacting me but lately i have been distant cuz i am afraid to talk or i already know the answer.
I'm with adviceman. You already know he's not good for you. A relationship to be successful and mutually healthy & fulfilling for both needs to have two people putting energy into the relationship. This QUOTE sums it up: Happily ever after doesn't happen just because you wish it so. It only happens when both people put in maximum effort to make it so.
As for a man who is separated or divorced, keep in mind that there is always a chance that there is a good reason for it, why the wife doesn't want him anymore. So I don't see getting into a relationship with someone in that status, as a bad thing. Just date long enough to see what the mans true character is and then either keep or dump him. My second husband and I met when we both were separated from our now exs and the divorces occurred after. He had actually separated on good terms and his ex wanted something different in a mate at that point. The teen daughter was a daddys girl and wanted to go with him and they agreed. In my case, My ex was verbally abusive and I was separated from him 2 yrs at the time I met him.
I won't go into why I stayed so long with the ex but what helped me with finding and recognizing the man who would make the perfect new husband for me was having a list of what I wanted in a man, and it was a list of needs which are things that are a deal breaker if the man doesnt match up. I can't tell you want your needs are but for me, I needed a man who would not ever lose his temper with me, talk down to me, verbally abuse, use me as maid, butler, go-fer, and as a source of extra money for him among other things. I knew what the bad things looked like in a guy. You do too now and I sense you are fairly intelligent and will use what you have learned.
Hey, I'm almost fourteen, and since formal is coming I want to be able to buy stuff like makeup and shoes, I could ask money from my parents, but I feel bad about it though we are not poor or anything, they already paid for my dress and formal ticket, so I feel bad about asking for more, I know I'm probably too young for a proper job, but do any of you know any jobs for people my age???
Jobs for people your age fall to doing tasks and chores for neighbors or extended family members per your parents okay. They need to be sure you are safe. The elderly often need help but some may not have much spare to pay with. Then theres always the chores that people don't like to do, like if they have a dog, scooping up the poop in the yard. I read a story of two sisters about 8 and 10 whose parents knew the neighbors well whom they did this for and the news got out and more neighbors of all ages were wanting their services. Its doesnt have to be poop scooping but anything else a person does not enjoy doing. Work is work and most often never enjoyable but thats how to get money.
If you are great at using smart phones, the older people who are getting one will need some training and help with how to use it. I am in that spot and luckily have daughters who can help me if I get stuck. Theres also Christmas coming and neighbors may want to put up their lights but not have the time or energy and you may be able to do some of that, not dangerous stuff like climbing ladder to put lights on the gutter or on a tree tho. Dog owners may only like walking the dog in fair weather but dogs need to get their exercise every day. Offer dog walking. Also with the season, There may be left over leaves to rake or more likely snow to shovel if you live somewhere where that is an issue. I know it all sounds like hard work just to get the shoes and makeup you want but welcome to the adult world, we do what we have to do to pay the bills and make ends meet. It may not be easy by the end result is pride in having accomplished this yourself. A few friends may even be jealous and want to earn their own money and do the same or perhaps t wo of you can team up to offer whatever services you decide on and it makes the job more fun to have a friend along for companionship as long as you focus on your task. Good luck dear.
I'm nearly 14. So I used to have this small group of friends, I'll name them L, R, T and O. So we are very good friends and very closely knitted. However me and O just joint the group, and I know we are way too old for this, but T and R are fighting over L, L is pretty and popular. In an occasion, L met up with H, who is also very popular, then L pretty much hangs out with her now and replaced her with all of us, they are like BFF's now, this also brought us into H's huge group, where she is the leader. T is extremely clingy, and she still haven't given up on L, but develops a liking for H, though L and H don't like T very much, they are extremely nice to her, and me, R and O are quite stressed as we are mad that T did all these ignorant things to us, for example T would sit next to H is the soccer match instead of R( they are all in the same team), and after school, T would follow H around and ignore me, and she doesn't talk to O that much. But it's very unfair as us three has always been so kind to her, like once she spilt food on her skirt L and H ignored her but me and O washed it off for her, and in IT R always helps her and she NEVER says thank you. It's not much of a big deal but I feel that it's so unfair.
The deal is that you all are around 14 yr old give and take a year or so. I remember being a teen and how grown up we felt. Reality is, you all are just beginning to go through a social learning curve where what you knew and know right now is still basic or from childhood, and the process is to learn to handle things like the adult you will soon be considered at 18.
I know how lonely it can be to not have any friends to hang out with but if the so called friends lets say are at a different social level than you, like far behind, you may want to search to form a group of friends of those who are more like you, more willing to learn and grow and not keep doing the same old mistakes over and over. This might be one way to change things so you're happy.
Another thing would be to challenge yourself to not take things personally. I say that because in the adult world, I still run into adults often enough who never grew up or who are users, abusers, the world revolves around them, with no manners or social graces. For the most part, you can try to eliminate how many of these kinds of people are in your life if its stressing you. Choose your friends wisely, and later when an adult, find those who truly appreciate you. YOu will need to learn how to find good quality friends and be able to recognize a person as being such because this will also help you in the long run with determining if a guy is a good choice for a boyfriend and later on as a mate.
ONe more thing about your age group, I assume this group is all girls as you used 'she and her' in explaining. Teen girls still have effects of the hormones of puberty long after their bodies have begun to change into their adult form. The hormones do a whammy on your emotions. No female can escape this. I went thru it and so did all my daughters. What happens is an emotional roller-coaster ride where girls become either extremely sad and weepy all the time or she is very easily irritated or angered. Her frustrations then are almost always dumped on the nearest dearest females in their lives, like Mom, sisters, friends, maybe even female teachers, picking fights or some such thing. It may be a combo of the hormones and your ages. Don't worry, it happens to pretty much most teens that they have troubles with friends but by time you graduate, the other teens will also have matured more. Changes for the better don't stop there. Keep in mind that from HS thru end of college there is even more major changes of maturing that occur.
Hang in there girl.
Looking for interesting websites to keep me occupied. Gaming, social, interactive etc. Open for all suggestions!
Well, I have a Facebook account. And there are many games you can join from there, from really simple to about medium in difficulty. Most games require you to have game friends to play successfully and send you energy points or other things and by going to the game info page theres usually spots to post that you are looking for game playing friends. These people must be Facebook friends first and I've made a couple friends on line that way. Plus I keep in touch with extended family that way too. I am older and not into checking out all the other social sites and apps that younger generations are crazy about so I can't help you with suggestions there.
I am 18F and for the past few months, I am always tired.
During the day, I am constantly tired, nearly falling asleep in class quite often, and unable to concentrate on getting homework done. I end up just curling up in bed a lot.
Sometimes I have a lot of difficulty sleeping, other times I will fall asleep almost instantly.
I just want to know if there might be something wrong with me, or if I am just lazy.
Hi Hon.
It's hard to say what exactly but there could be a couple possibilities. Laziness has nothing to do with not having enough sleep
I do know from my teen years as well as having had 3 kids, there are two major growth spurts for people, one is when an infant. They sleep alot because their body is growing fast and changing more. It happens again during teen years. Not sure if it should be over by 18, maybe not if a late bloomer. I can say that seeing pics of me at 17,18 and then mid 20s, there was definitely lots of subtle changes. If this is the reason, theres nothing to worry about, take all the naps you need.
Depression can make a person feel tired with no energy or desire to do anything. Think on whether there have been some changes to your life that could prompt this. It doesn't have to be something that happens to you like a boyfriend dumping you but what affects your family will affect you too, like Dad losing his job and money being tight.
Lastly would be diet and something missing that you need. The quality of food these days are compromised by pesticides and GMOs and it is slowly starting to affect people by way of lack of needed nutrients. If you don't take vitamins, you may want to add this to your diet. I started a month ago when the company my Daughter sells for started offering multi vitamins that are chew-able and ingredients are almost all 100% of adult daily needs. You wont find such a vitamin in retail stores. Start checking online for them if you need them.
I know that lots of younger folks are using energy drinks like Red Bull and others and lots of strong coffees too. Some of those drinks have so much sugar and caffeine that when you get addicted and it runs out in your system, your sugar level drops drastically and brings on the lack of energy and maybe sleepiness. If you take these or have recently tried getting off them, it could be like a withdrawal adjustment period for you. There may be other essential amino acids, etc. that are low or missing.
I am still trying to find something that will help improve my own memory recall and concentration which can be affected by something missing in diet, usually a supplement that you wont be able to get enough of in foods.
My memory problems started when I was in my mid forties and has slowly gotten worse. Hubby has same problems, so does my sister and lots of younger people I know have same problems. I notice more grammar mistakes in print on bus ads, billboards, on the web, on TV ads, in books and magazines, everywhere so I know that lots of people are being affected but doing nothing about it as they may believe its normal, that maybe they are just lazy or not thorough or something.
I would suggest you do the same I am, searching the internet for what supplements help with concentration and memory, and fatigue. We have just started taking a supplement of L-Glutamine, an amino acid the most people are low on. It gives athletes increased energy and stamina and helps with memory function, repairs ulcers in the stomach with Hubby has, and much more I can't remember right now. LOL see....I need the help too. There are Super supplement stores where I live but practically any Health food store should have a section of supplements. Even some major food chains are starting to carry some basics in a health food aisle.
I am still learning and doing so thru my facebook acct. I subscribed to 6 or so sites and keep adding, ones that cover topics of healthy recipes, organic foods, GMO's, and so on. I just did searches. THen chose to have these posts show first when I open my acct. They cover what to avoid and what you need and there are lots of ads from TV's Dr. Oz or Dr. Josh Axe who write to explain a particular item like the L-Glutamine and what it helps with. If you decide to try a supplement that states it helps, try only one new one at once to see what the effects are. That way you dont have to guess which one helped. If one doesnt give you the effect needed, try another. We are all differently made and according to Ayurvedic medicine (East India originated) there are 3 doshas or body types. I am currently reading on what foods cause problems for my body type but don't for my husband. With the poor memory, its a challenge to take in the new info. Darn it, I have to avoid chocolate. LOL
Hope this encourages you to start taking an active role in your own health. The regular medical community is not trained in natural health or full body health as naturopaths, or in Chinese medicine, etc.
I will share quick an amazing success healing years ago. I used to see a acupuncturist trained also in Chinese med. When I saw her I said I'd been to a regular Dr for an ear infection that or something that had taken my hearing away totally in one ear and it was down to less than half on the other. It was scary to contemplate losing hearing to some mysterious illness not to mention it was interfering with my ability to answer phones at work and hear the people which was a part of my job. It couldn't be passed on to someone else to do for me. She took a look at my tongue, felt my pulse and said, "Your yin and yang are not in balance, (ayurvedic med. is also about being balanced) and when out of balance, the body is susceptible to illness, and malfunctions. She went to look up the name of the med I needed in her book and called in a prescripton to a CHinese medicine dispensary in another building. I went there. Took the first dose that night after work, and by time I woke the next morning, my hearing was already restored from just the one dose. I was ecstatic. I tried conventional medicine first but the medicine they gave me didnt work. Their 2nd choice didnt either. So after around a month of not hearing, chinese medicine helped me. If anyone tells you its a bunch of hogwash and natural health is a lot of bunk, don't believe it dear. Become in touch with whats going on for you as you are now. Insurance doesn't cover these types of health practioners because they would lose business, slapping bandaid solutions on problems that really don't go away, you just don't maybe feel the pain? This is the best I have to share at this time dear. Good luck and blessings to you.
16/f
Okay so firstly i have a big chance of getting cancer - both my grandmas have had breasy cancer, one died of stomach/colon cancer and my grandfather died of brain cancer and my one aunt alao died of cancer and my mom gets lumps or whatever in her breasts that she gets cut out alot.
For this whole year ive always been either constipated or have diareah never normal. I get nauseas all the time since 2012/2013 like everyday and i vomit alot. When i eat i feel sick
Could it be that?
I'm sure I won't be liked for saying this, but diet is likely the problem and its not so much your fault but my belief is the GMO's and pesticides in our food and water. There is very little good food left to eat. It has finally begun to affect me the same in last 2 months. Hubby has had his share of gastro intestinal troubles also. I have a 16 yr old niece with all the same symptoms. The doctors who saw my husband have no answers as they do not believe that it is related to our food and water being slowly poisoned and slowly poisoning first the people who may be most susceptible. I don't think the entire US population is going to understand this until it is too late. Do the best you can to see what you might be allergic to. We shouldnt be allergic to foods but a lot of people who never had allergies before, I have found now have them, even my own grown kids. One is lactose intolerant and the other both gluten and lactose intolerant.
I would see a naturopath or ayurvedic trained Dr. if I could afford it out of pocket as they are likely the only ones who can figure out what you can eat now and what to avoid. I cried the other day when I discovered another couple foods I can no longer eat. I have a friend who went to one. She was close to death and is now alive and healthy many years later but it cost her a fortune to see a Dr. who wasn't one of the traditional Drs. I'll bet if you start asking around over the next yr or two you'll find friends who are also having health problems. The stop gap answer is local farm grown organics but even that won't be safe for long if government doesnt reverse what is happening. You probably dont have cancer now but colon cancer is on the rise so Drs. only test all people over 50 for it now routinely when it used to not be a routine thing. It developed after genetically modified and pesticide ridden foods were brought to market and okayed by Food and Drug asso. as safe to eat for humans even tho not tested.
Its going to take probably your generation to help turn this around in a few years when you're an adult and can vote and protest.
Hi all, 29/crazy cat lady. Kitties are all female, 8y.o.(Luna)is spayed, ~2y.o. (Siren) is not spayed, and almost-4-months-old (Addie) is not spayed.
So, I adopted Luna when she was 10 weeks old and have raised her as an only cat, and effectively my child. She now walks around growling and hissing at anything that comes near her, me included. That's not to say I don't still love on her and give her kisses and face-cuddles and pets... she just complains more.
I rescued Siren in June, and admittedly didn't get to do much of a slow intro with her and Luna. Luna found out about her very suddenly, and sequestered herself to the bedroom closet for a couple weeks...
Fast forward 10 days or so and I discovered Siren was pregnant. Kept the kittens until they were about 9-10 weeks old, and gave away everyone except Addie.
So, conditions under which Siren and Luna met weren't great. Siren is getting spayed tomorrow, which I'm hoping will help with her territorial-ness... Last time I tried to clip Luna's claws, though, Siren heard Luna getting mean and ran into the room and chased Luna away from me, and then seemed to be checking me for damage...
Luna HAS made progress - while she walks around hissing and growling at anything and anyone around her, she's no longer living in the bedroom. She even shares a bowl of dry food with the other cats, and is back to chilling on the couch pillows.
I guess - to those with catty (ha) horror stories - is there hope that these guys might at least get along?
I will not declaw anyone, so that isn't an option, and I really don't want to have to think about rehoming anyone... I picked Luna off the internet, but Siren picked me off the streets in Detroit, and Addie attached herself to me... it's not right.
Thoughts? Recommendations? Words of encouragement? Anything. Thank you all.
Hi there. I recently saw a tv program on a couple who had their own cat. Grown daughter got one and had to switch her home while at college from one place that took cat to another that didn't. The parents got her cat and again, it was a sudden thing and their cat kept being attacked by daughters cat, drawing blood, chunks of fur. They caled in an animal expert. Even he had a hard time at first.
But they began to use those child proof gates for doorways and stairs on hallway with one cat ending up there, the other had its on spot. Yes its a territorial thing. The cats got fed in their own perspective areas where they could still see each other. The aggressive cat still growled for quite some time but eventually learned that he had his own territory. You need to establish their own territories until they get used to each other. If it doesnt work, you may need to call in a cat expert who can come visit your cats and see if they can figure out a way to get them to get along, at least co habitat in peace.
What should I do to forget the person I love?
I love in a wrong person?
If this is truly what you want, there is what the other advice giver said, cutting off all ties. Me, I take it literally. God gave me a vision at the time I knew I had to leave my ex but didnt quite know how financially yet.
The vision was something I have learned about since. I was shown the two of us with a long rope or cord running between us, each end attached to the lower portion of our torso, around sacral or solar plexus points. I was handed a large pair of scissors by an angel and told if I was really serious about this, I had to visually see myself using the cutting tool to snip and cut the connection to him.
Our minds are like computers and have lots a data stored in all sorts of places. Its always there for you to find later. Unless you have amnesia, where theres a total loss of recall including who you are, there isn't a way to erase memories and forget something or a person.
The reason though behind wanting to "forget" as people say is that we have emotions and emotions are attached to that person you want to forget, whether it is good happy memories and therefore a feeling of loss, or as in my case, memories of mistreatment at their hands and bad feelings attached to that which may be holding you back from moving on for fear of the same happening again, etc.
It still takes time for the feelings attached to the memories to fade so that IF you come across something that reminds you of the person, you no longer find bad or sad feelings rise to the surface. I know it works cus I've done it. And for our Thanksgiving Holiday, I and new husband spent time with my kids at their Dads house. There are no feelings of anger or sadness between us and certainly no longer any of the loving feellings for each other. It is possible. Of course, you must also have a healthy mind for this to work. If you have depression, anxiety, or tend to dwell on negative or distorted thinking, that all will hold you back from getting over the person and those things will need to be dealt with first. If thats the case for you, let us know here, I am sure we'd have advice for that as well.
If you try what we both have suggested here, then at some point you will successfully be able to not forget but think of them without the tugging on the heart strings of sadness or anger.
Blessings to you dear.