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I have a chance to sleep with a celebrity. Should I?
A little back story...
This isn't just any celeb, literally my #1 favorite and I've been totally smitten with him for many (6-7) years. And he's always been #1 on my Celebrity Freebie List.
Never thought in a million years I'd be in the situation I am in right now...
I can't say who he is for fear of ruining my shot here, lol. But if you're under 30 years old you most likely know who he is.
It started out when I was just following him on Snap Chat. I didn't know he had followed me back, until every once in a while he'd reply to a photo on my story with a simple "haha" or something like that. Made my day every time. Then, over the course of about 6-7 months, we'd talk a little here and there.
More recently, we've started talking every day and moved to texting. (My heart nearly pounded out of my chest when I got that first text).
He is obviously attracted to me, but he is sometimes very guarded, I think he knows how risky it is to have this kind of relationship with a fan. lol. (And yes, I am 100% positive it is really him).
Anyway, a couple of times he's mentioned visiting me. He lives a few hundred miles away, not too crazy of a flight or anything. At first, it started out as him talking about going to a nearby big city where he has friends he said he'd visit as well if I wanted to drive up there and meet him. Then he asked about where I live, if I live with my family and hinted at just staying at my place during his visit.
Let me just pause and say WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS HAPPEN TO? LIKE, AM I DREAMING?? WWWTTTTFFFFF
Ahem.. anyway.
I think it's safe to say that he's looking for little more than a hook up, but I'm fine with that. I don't think he's really the type I'd want a real relationship anyway.
So what the hell is the problem here? Right?
Well... I'm not single. My boyfriend (of 2.5 years) and I have a house together and everything. And see, I didn't tell my celeb guy because my boyfriend said it was totally okay to flirt with him, and I just didn't expect it to get to this point.
And to add another (complicated) twist to this story, a few weeks ago, a friend of mine found my boyfriend on a dating app. Awesome, huh? Well, he started going to counseling as he says he has an addiction. This wasn't the first time this has happened, either. So our relationship is sort of on the rocks right now, which makes the celeb hookup even more tempting.
My boyfriend says to do what I want, but I can tell it'd crush him if I went through with this hook up. My real hang up is trying to decided if my boyfriend is right for me, and / or if this is something I would regret too much for the rest of my life to pass up on. I want to live my life to the fullest, and again, how often does this happen to anybody??
Sigh. Send help!
P.S. I'm 26 years old and female.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It sounds like both you and your boyfriend are both wanting sex outside of your relationship, whether once or twice or many times. Depending on the situation, theres such a thing as a 'open marriage' where each can have a permanent lover on the side and swingers can be single or in a relationship.
I've been there with my ex. It wasnt because of this that he's my ex. He was abusive.
So I know all the pitfalls to gettingh either a platonic but emotional relationship on the side, or a sexual one or both.
Your bf may have a sexual addiction but that means he wants sex all day long and goes after it to the point it interferes with regular life, like his job, giving time to you, household chores, time for his family or anything else he is committed to. You only said he was on a dating site. Having another sex partner besides the one you are committed to in your core relationship is not a crime.
However it isn't easy for the average person to pull off. Most people start comparing, get jealous, don't discuss things with their partner, don't set ground rules or boundaries. Even in a club patroled by members to make sure no one was being forced against their will, there were the occasional times a guy wouldn't honor the "use condoms' rule and try to force the gal if her bf/husband wasn't in the same room to protect her.
Until you've gotten to know a person, first time sex can go wrong. I know I keep mentioning sex. But I have seen people get upset just seeing their partner pay attention to another like sitting and talking to for longer than they deemed okay, playing with her hair or dancing...nothing sexual. It happened to me, a wife upset simply cus she heard her husband laughing at things I said. (I'm a funny person) Maybe he didnt laugh as much at her so she was instantly jealous. It caused couples to leave the club or simply not do anything with me and the ex anymore.
The general rule taught to all who think they want even a one time hook up with someone is that if you are having trouble with your one relationship, then you won't be able to handle the repercussions of two or more or one night stands because it takes a certain amount of maturity, self confidence and more, to do so successfully. If your relationship is a bad one or rocky at best, this is a good way to see it fall totally apart.
Now I can't predict it will happen. But you did mention not just the bf but the house together.
If your relationship splits up over your one time meet up with a celeb, then the house is also at risk for being lost.
The decision is still yours. I believe its important to put ones all into their main relationship, to get it healthy and strong and stable and have permission from each other to start doing this sort of thing. And each of you have to be honest with each prospective new partner to let them know you are not single but have each other already. Its common courtesy so that if they have issues with being with someone whether once or on going, they get to make a choice to meet with you or not.
At the end you say its more about whether the bf is right for you. I have a document I can send you but you'd need to do a lot of thinking and writing homework to come up with a list that you can refer to when trying to decide if this bf is right or any future ones. Owning the house is a big commitment, one that really should come after you've learned how to determine that you have Mr. Right, or know how to spot him. If you want me to share that document with you, let me know.
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