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insecure with how i look?
Growing up i wouldnt say i was the prettiest girl in the world, no boys had a crush on me except for one who quickly got over it when a girl who liked him and was my friend at the time said "ew you like her?" then after that he got over it. This was in the 6th grade. Grade 9 comes along and i remember on orientation day these girls were looking at girls for this guy one girl pointed at me and the other girl said "ew no omfg shes so ugly" it hurt my feelings but i shrugged it off because they didnt know me (that girl who called me ugly ended up being one of my friends until graduation). Anyways grade 10 comes along and a guy makes a joke about me to his friend so basically his friend liked my friend but she didnt like him back so the guy made a joke saying "since it wont work out with her you should go out with her friend" and then he started dying of laughter and then his friend said "hell no". Again i took offense to this but shrugged it off, grade 11 comes along and i was minding my own business talking to my friend when this guy looked at me then told his friend "shes sooo beat" which in slang means ugly where im from, i rolled my eyes but it still hurt my feelings since he was one of the popular guys but i guess i should say whos laughing now because i graduated high school and hes still there. So grade 12 nothing really happened because everyone was focused on getting into a university/college. Anyways its summer vacation and im wearing a maxi skirt a guy yelled out of the car and said "daaaamn" then when i turned around he got so quiet and had a shocked look on his face, he ended up quickly looking away.Anyways growing up ive been insecure with how my face looks, the insecurity was so bad that from grade 9-10 i wouldnt take any pictures cause i didnt wanna see how ugly i was or anyone else to see posts of how ugly i am. My insecurity is still very much alive i have an instagram but wont post any selfies i only post group pics. Another thing that pisses me off is im not over weight but im curvy so whenever i tell my parents how ugly i am they only comment on my body shape, and even my cousins wife said she wishes her daughter gets my body shape. Body shape can change but your face (apart from aging) stays with you forever. Please if you have any tips on how to be more confident it would really help! Im in university now and confidence is key in forming relationships i guess
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Do yourself a favor and start doing searches on "Female Celebritites with and without makeup". I have posted a link to one with 30 examples. #2 is Faith Hill country singer and the no makeup pic at first glance I thought was a man with long hair, thats how vastly different people can look from their natural untouched to made up look.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Media's portrayal of what is the "In" look, or what is acceptable, what is beautiful, what is hot and sexy has always been warped and its all to make big bucks off people who have a low self confidence and who've suffered terrible remarks from their peers. The teen group is one of the biggest markets for makeup, clothing and other such things that make a person feel better about their self.
The truth is that the media has a twisted and ever changing idea of what is beauty. Before TV, there were only painters. Take a look at old paintings of nude women and they all had small boobs and rounded, not flat tummies. Thats how most people look but Media in Tv, radio, magazines, stores, etc have been fickle and I can't say who decided what beauty was but at one point Looking anorexic was touted by fashion media as the look everyone should strive for whether they had a body like that or not. Take the model Twiggy in the 60s. Check this link with photos. The most telling are photos #2, 9,10, 12. She looks anorexic to me.
However just a decade before, hour glass shapes were in for housewives and pin up model Marilyn Monroe had a big boned body with an hourglass shape. The image of what beauty is has continued to change through history.
The most impressionable are young children growing up seeing all the ads and peers their age who in wanting to be liked and accepted, caving in to the pressure and dressing and dolling up in attempts to look like current fashion dictates. ITs even spread now to males, can't overlook that market. Think on how many ads you see for what is considered a hot looking male and so many young males are starting to be ridiculed just like females who don't fit the current image.
Its not that your face is Ugly hon, but that ALL of your peers were comparing you to images that are unreal. Heres a very silly analogy but what if the next decades popular image of beauty entailed totally cutting off the outer ear with advertisers exclaiming "No longer will your ears mess up your perfect hairstyle. Earrings are no longer in, because we wear them on our lip, nose or eyebrow.
Want to know who really had the low self images? All of those who teased you, and all those who did every thing they could to have the latest fashion look just to be accepted. Sometimes family budget dictates that we can not meet that same expectation. That was the case for me. I got teased a lot. Whispers behind my back of being ugly. Or being called 4 eyes for wearing glasses.
I tended to once upon a time feel that I was really plain looking. NOw seeing celebs without makeup, I have realized that I look just the same as or even way better than lots of them.
You are now at an age where the foolishness of youth is beginning to vanish and many are starting to decide for themselves what look they really like for themselves and feel good about and what look they like in the opposite sex. By 30 most all of us have redefined ourselves from what students, friends, strangers and even family have labeled us.
I have had a first husband who never really loved me, a second husband who adores me and says I am the most beautiful woman ever. I am petite, late fifties, have fine wrinkled and salt and pepper long hair. We all will age and lose some of the looks of our youth. The deal is finding a man who loves you as a whole, who you are on the inside which he'll still have once the beauty of youth has aged. There are men who do not prefer my particular look. SOme are into redheads, blondes, curvy, taller, bigger or smaller boobs. And that is as it should be, there is no one size fits all as you've probably found out in clothing. Those never fit me. ITs the same with our looks, there is no one look that fits all.
Your peers are now older and probably have changed too and while some guys may not be attracted to your look, others will be. I still have men look at me and the bolder ones comment. I am still considered hot looking to enough.
Heres an trick for you to try that I did once. I wanted to boost my self confidence and read this in a ladies magazine article many years before and finally decided to try around the time I left my first husband so I was no spring chicken dear.
Find a celeb that you like and whom you feel you have one facial feature that may come close to looking like theirs. Doesn't matter if its mouth, nose, eyes, whole face, just the shape or maybe even hair. You are going to borrow their confidence until you've gotten your own. I chose my eyes cus I like my eyes and felt tho not exactly they fit a certain older actress. Then every time I left home to go anywhere or as I entered a building or a room where people were, I imagined myself as being that actress and peoples attention drawn to my eyes and I would be as confident and popular as the actress. It was astounding, some time might pass but before long, not just men, but women came up to me and all of them were exclaiming about my eyes, nothing else, just my eyes, on how beautiful they were. Half the time I wasn't even wearing makeup. The comments kept coming and I finally realized that it had nothing to do with what I really looked like that had them commenting. I met a gal once at a swim party who was hugely obese, maybe close to 4oo lbs. Another woman like that there, had no one around her. The one I mention had lots of people drawn to her, including me. The impression I was getting was that she was beautiful tho I would not normally think that of grossly obese people. It really wasnt her looks but something intangible that oozed from her as it had for me recently. What I picked up om and other people picked up about me were the self confidence, that I felt my eyes were beautiful. Well, now years later, its not just my eyes but all of me that men find beautiful. I do not follow media's example of what beauty is, so how can it be? ITs self confidence. Once men have matured and decided what look they are attracted to most, its still self confidence that wins their attention more than the look.
I read somewhere about a test done on men with a room full of women both model types and the average lookers. The men were attracted to the women with self confidence over the ones with the model looks if the model lacked self confidence.
I hope this helps you to see yourself in a different light dear. Good luck to you.
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I am going to go right out and tell you what you probably have already heard; No one can tell you how beautiful you are, what you look like, what you feel about yourself. Your looks are entirely determined by how you feel. You already said your body shape is fine, but anything about your body is changeable - and without ridiculous wastes of money like plastic surgery, like some people think. Sometimes, you may need a little extra push in feeling more confident about how you look... A website with a random high-schooler giving you random advice based on life while trying to balance homework cannot provide that to you. What I can do is say, what do you not like about your face? Often, you don't need to change this - you just need to be proud. If you have a big nose, huge dimples, anything like that - don't be sad about it, think about ways that rude people don't make fun of it without changing it - like contouring perhaps? If your top lip disgusts you because it is so thin, just use a more peachy-toned lip color so it blends in more. The point is - don't be ashamed of what you have and what you were born with. You should show it off. But if people continue to give you a hard time about it, you might need a few little things to give yourself that extra boost of confidence. Do whatever you think you may need to fix whatever you don't like about your face, but at the end of the day, makeup or exfoliating is not really the answer. (But again, what do I know? I'm rubbish at makeup myself...) :')
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