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27 yearvold virgin!
My boyfriend of a year wants to have sex Friday nigt and i said yes but now i am freaking out because i never told him that i was molested by my dad when i was 3. My dad died when i was 9 so he is no longer in the picture. But i never told my boyfriend about my dad molesting me amd i am terrified. I have never told him i am still a virgin. Does he need to know?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
Hsve you ever seen a counselor about the molestation? If you haven't thats a big priority.
I know it may be embarassing to talk with the bf but if you ever want to be in a long term relationship or have kids someday, you will need the right kind of therapy with professionals to get past this.
Forcing yourself to have sex even if you are terrified is the wrong thing to do. Forget the fact that you are a virgin. Thats not going to make your problem go away by having sex to lose virginity.
He has to know something. I figure you said yes because you are afraid of losing him. However a relationship built on lies, or half truths, or omitting information is another sure way to upset a partner and possibly lose them.
If he really cares and loves you, he will be supportive. He's hung in there a year with no sex, so he must feel you are very special. If it were someone you met only recently like a month ago and you don't want to tell, well, you could always choose to cancel and split up without explanation.
But this guy needs to know that he is not going to get sex yet. Wouldn't you rather have him supporting you to get healed from this event of the past by seeing a professional. It is not a shame to be a virgin. And you certainly have a good reason. So if you tell him you are a virgin because of the molestation and that you want to get healed so that you can have a loving healthy relationship with him that includes sex, I am sure he'll understand.
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