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Q: Okay, so this is long:
I hung out with a "group" I guess you can call it last year in 8th grade. There were 2 guys and 3 girls including myself. One whom I'm still good friends with is gay and I don't care about that. The other guy I don't talk much with so he's kind of out of this question. Now the remaing 2 girls. Oh my god. One is very clingy, has hygene problems, whiney, spoiled bratty scene. She believes herself to be a emo girl although she is spoiled with everything. So when she doesn't get her way, she pretends to cut, which are like pink lines made with paper. Then the other girl goes to comfort her and they somehow make me look like the guilty one in the group.

Now, this year, I'm taking all Pre IB classes and the people from my group last year are taking adv. and standard classes. Now, basically IB kids (Pre IB and IB) all become friends with another. It's like a whole new clique (Such as jocks, punks, IB kids =P) Well, Joey is in Pre IB and I talk with him and his friends a lot since they're all in Pre IB. But my best gay guy friend from last year hates Joey and he won't hang out with him. I sit with Joey and his friends at lunch and in the mornings and talk with them, hang out with them a lot at school.

Well, the two girls basically kept on pesturing me with "You ditched us for another clique. You're a horrible friend. You don't know where Kevin (my gay friend) is? (In an accusing tone) etcetc." It's been bothering me all year. Well, one thing is that I don't have any classes with them so yeah, I can't exactly hang out with them 24.7. IB is hard and I barely have time for myself a lot of the times. It's also much easier to hang out with Joey and his friends because we can relate a lot to each other. I also started to not ride the bus in the mornings and had my dad drop me off before he goes to work at school which meant that I didn't ride the bus with KEvin anymore. And so I sometimes catch him at his locker and sometimes don't so that is another reason as to why I don't know where he is sometimes. (Our bus gets to school when it starts and I always miss something in my first class) And when I get to school early, I can meet up with the IB friends.

Well, getting to my question: One of the two girls invited me to spend halloween at her house and Joey and his friends want me to come trik or treating with them =/ I really wanna go wtih Joey and his friends but the thing is: Kevin doesn't know about this situation I'm having with the 2 girls-even they don't know--and he'll most likely end up going to one of the 2 girls house. And then the 2 and maybe kevin will whine complain, pesture, everything at me all year long.

I know that I'm gonna go with Joey but what should I do about the 3 friends??

I'm soo soo sorry this was really really long.

It's so hard when you go your separate ways in high school. I know the same thing happened to me both between elementary and high school and between high school and university.

Pretty much, you have to explain to your friends from before that you still care about them and that you want to be friends with them, but that you also need time to make friends with people who are in your classes. Let them know that just because you can't spend as much time with them, it doesn't mean you like them any less.

You may end up (much as it hurts) just letting your old friends go. I know it sounds like an awful thing to do, but really your best friends are going to be the ones with whom you have the most in common.

Good luck!

Q: I just bought a Dooney & Bourke handbag from Dillards. When I was looking for my product ID in the purse to register it, I noticed a "Made in China" lable on the handbag.

I was always under the impression that Dooney & Bourkes are all crafted in the US and was always told that if a handbag has a "Made in China" lable, it's fake. But, I bought it from a well-known Department store.

Any ideas?

Just about everything these days is made in China, because labour is cheaper there. It doesn't mean that it's fake, it's just where they chose to produce.

Q: My right breast really hurts a lot all day today. This never happened before and I'm only 13! At times today it stings inside sometimes but mainly hurts. I was wondering if it's normal, maybe this is the time where milk devolopes on a girl's body, or is it an early sign of breast cancer? I can't ask the doctor because I'm not confortable with a boy touching it and looking at it.

It's probably because you're still developing. You shouldn't be lactating yet, unless you're pregnant, so it's not that... it's very typical to have pains in your breasts at your age, since you're still growing.

As for not being comfortable with examinations, doctors are professionals, and I can assure you they don't get anything from examining you. If it were an early sign of breast cancer, you'd need professional diagnosis anyways!

Q: after i wash, blow dry, and straighten my hair the good smell of my shampoo is gone. how do i keep the smell of my shampoo in my hair longer?!

Try just spritzing some good-smelling perfume on your hands and then running them through your hair, because, I hate to tell you, the smell of your shampoo (and probably your hair itself) won't last through being blow-dried and straightened.

Q: I just graduated from college and now I'm in a university. So the problem is.. I don't have any friends who can eat with me during lunch. I kinda feel very lonely because I'm not used to eating alone while I was in college. Now, I get to lectures all by myself...spend my breaks by myself..I'm beginning to feel very lonely and depressed.

Most of my friends went to different unis and it's hard to say "hi! shall we eat together?" to a stranger I met during lectures.

I did ask my friends if they were willing to eat alone and they all said "never". But when I asked my family members, they said its alright to eat alone...

I mean like..what if I bump into some of my friends and they see me eating all alone like a beggar? I did try to eat alone before and at that time I kind of tried to quickly finish my food so that I wouldn't see anyone I know. And I don't like to hurry while I'm eating.

So right now..I just need reassurance..is it alright to eat alone in uni?

It's fine to eat alone no matter where you are! It's a little weird getting used to doing stuff alone, I know, because I went from being the person who doesn't go anywhere alone in high school to having to be more independent in university.

Just make more friends in lecture! I always talk to the people sitting next to me, and I made a ton of friends that way.

If you're awkward about talking to that stranger you met in lecture, just walk up and be like "Hey, aren't you in my ___ class? Is it allright if I sit down?" and you'd be surprised at how well it works.

It's a huge transition into university, but good luck!

Q: You know in the gym places, they sell those pills that kill fat. I dont know the name in English sorry about that. Anyways, I work out a lot but I have a lot of fat on my body and everybody insists that this fitness aid, the fat killer (not its real name) causes no damage on your health at all. Its not like its hormones or steroids or anything. Should I proceed or not?
I am huge, I work out a lot, never ever consumed anything before, I am 110 kilos and do 60 pull ups every day and run for 1 hour every single day. I am pretty much the strongest person I know, and the biggest.

Well, you may be big, but are you sure it's fat? I weigh up to 200 pounds (19/F) but it's mostly from muscle because I exercise a lot.

Those pills are pretty much stimulants. They're not good for you.

Q: 16/f
can a dermatologist prescribe birth control?
id really like it to help my face clear up, although if it helps regulate my period that would help a ton as well! i just dont wanna go to a gyn yet. haha.

You shouldn't have to go to a gynecologist to get birth control. Any doctor can prescribe it to you!

Just go to your family doctor and ask.

Q: Ok well this isn't exactly an illness but it seems to the closest category. Well I don't know what it's called but when I eat I accidently bite my mouth really hard and there's like a bump in my mouth from it because I bit down so hard. What is it called? Cold sores?

It's not called anything, actually. It's just swelling from the bite. Cold sores are found on the outside of your lips, and they're caused by a virus.

Q: Okay I"m 13year old female and i go witha 16 year old guy.. He's experienced and is ready so am i but what if we do it an i get pregnant what then?? I know use condoms... My cousin used protection an got pregnant... I really am ready... i know Birth control but how do i get to the place to get the pills...Or should i dump him and wait for a guy who isn't experienced???????

If you're not ready to deal with the possible consequences of sex, then you're not ready. If you can't deal with pregnancy, which you definitely can't at 13, then you should wait until you're older, just for safety reasons. Nothing is worth ruining your whole life at a young age just for a little fun.

You should be able to get the Pill from the doctor. You may also want to consider Depo Provera, the injection, which is what I am on. It's 99% effective, just like the Pill, but there's less risk of error in taking it, because you only get it once every three months. There are health risks involved though.

You should research any contraceptives you're going to go on to make sure that it's the right choice for you.

Also, you don't have to dump him if you don't want to have sex with him. Just don't have sex! If he's worth having sex with, then he'll wait until you're ready.

Q: I just cant download torrents. I start the hole process and it never starts itself. The speed is 0kbps even after hours or even days.

All that means is that there are no seeders for your torrent, so there's nobody to download from.

It happens sometimes :)

Q: Here's the sitch. We went on a date 2 weeks ago with this guy I met online. We went to the park talked a little, mostly my fault because I was so shy, and then went to Starbucks. We had frappucinos and become more lively. Then we went back to the park, hung out talked some more and we laid on the bench looking into each other's eyes. He asked me what I was thinking... and me being really shy, I was like uhmm nothing hehe. He said, well to be honest, I'm thinking about sex. And don't get me wrong, it was coursing through my head as well. Then we kissed he initiated, and then we just made out for a while. After like 30 minutes of making out, we decide to go to my car and well mess around. So we're messing around and blah blah, we end early because well i was feeling uncomfortable not because of him but because well the car was small, so we decide to just call it a night. I take him home we talk a little and he says, "I don't want to leave because the second I get out of this car, the rest of my night is going to be boring..." So I was like awhh then don't haha, but then you know he had to leave so then he left his shirt in my car and I was like wait, you left your shirt. He was like well... maybe I should leave it in there just so that I know that we can go on a 2nd date I was like awwhhh okay. So then I drive home and call him and tell him that I made it home safe and yadada. Then I ask him how he thought the date went, because truth be told it was his first date with another guy. Yes, i'm gay. Anyway, He was like it was really fun and blah blah, I really think he was lying. Well anyway, it got all serious and he was like, what are you looking for? I said, well i'm looking for a relationship to be honest.. and it doesn't have to be a strict relationship, like it can be open (I was lying because I didn't want to like freak him out). So then he said, yeah I'm looking for an open relationship as well because you know, i'm 18 and my sex/social life has only just begun, he's a senior in high school and i'm a junior. So anyway I was like yeah... coool.... Well a couple days later, we're talking on the phone, the reason why is because he lives 45 minutes away. Anyway I call him sometime later and ask him to go to homecoming with me, and he was really excited and was like "yes!@!@" So i'm all happy floating on clouds and what not. Then I call him the Friday after our first date, and wanted to see what's up? Well, some other guy picked up and said, "Michael's busy right now, he'll call you later *hangup*" Now, haha this transitions to any type of relationship... but I thought he was cheating on me and I know that we're not official and that we're not going out, but a couple days before he said that he "liked me." So I felt like shit and that I was being cheated on... I'm with my friends and decide well hmmm let's see if he's just trying to ignore me. So I use their phones and call him, no response so i'm like okay well maybe he really is busy... well for the rest of the night i'm with my friends... and it happens. He calls all of their cell phones back, except for mine. This seems to be a BIG indicator that something is wrong... So a day goes by and i'm pissed at him... I call him and ask him what he was doing on that Friday and he told me that he was at a birthday party and that everyone was getting drunk and blah blah so I buy the story and am like okay fine i'll take that... I ask him if he wants to hang out the next weekend and he's like sure. So then the week goes by, he doesn't talk to me or call me like he used to he rarely text messages me and never responds when I respond so then i'm thinking... well you know what I'm going to ignore him and see if you know he ends up calling me and all that stuff. So then the weekend comes by and I call him to see if I can come and pick him up, well on the day that I called him he's like Oh yeah sure it'll be lots of fun. Then I call him the day we planned to go out and he was like, "I REALLLY want to hang out with you.... but can I take a raincheck?" So then I ask, "well why?" And he goes, " well I just don't really want to leave town right now... so i'm like well that's fine i'll just come over and hang out in your town then... he's like naw... I don't want you to drive all the way out here..." I'm like hmm... then he asks, "are you mad at me?" I go, "no, i'm just really disappointed because you seemed enthusiastic about it yesterday." He goes, "well I promise i'll make it up to you!" I was like... "fine... talk to you later." then a couple days go by and I really decide to just not call him or text him or anything just to see if he you know longs for me or something. So after two days, he texts me saying "good morning, how are you?" I text him back and of course he never texts me back until the later afternoon saying, "What's up?" so I mean I'm really confused... I don't know what is his problem I mean he has a myspace, and i'm his number one, but when I look at his gay friends myspaces, I see that he comments them all the time saying things like, "Why haven't you called me?? Are you ignorning my calls???" and these are guys that live far far away but he sees them once a year and all. So I mean I know i'm probably over reacting and am acting REALLY Clingy, but I just think he's avoiding me and doesn't really see me as anything else but maybe a simple booty call... and I know I haven't asked him directly what is going on between us, but I figure... If you like someone, wouldn't you call them all the time, or at least get on AIM and have an IM conversation as much as you could?? I just need some help as to what I should do... I mean my birthday is this Friday, and I figure if he doesn't at least call me on my birthday, then it's a big indicator that he doesn't like me as much as he said he does. and I have told him it's my birthday. I know this is a REALLLLLY long question but the background info really helps when trying to help me out... and Please give good thorough advice.

First of all, ignore the other guy. He's a closed-minded jerk. :) There are times I wish there was an e-slap feature on here...

Pretty much, since you said that you wanted an open relationship, you opened yourself into becoming a booty call. That sucks, but it happens... I know it's happened to me. So NEVER say you want something from a relationship that you don't.

Pretty much, I'd ditch him. He's just keeping you on the line. You deserve better treatment than that. There are other men out there, and this one is just a waste of time.

Q: At my new school [as of yesterday] I've been classified as a misfit and hang out with all the people like that. You know, black pants, studded belts, band t-shirts, scene haircuts, eyeliner. yeah you know.
welllll.
for some reason, i've been getting hit on alot by all the preppy and gangster guys that usually think i'm a total freak.
it's kinda weird.
like, they wrap their arms around me and named me "sushi" because they want to eat me out. eww.

they also dog howl at me and stuff. is it because I wore a black mini skirt?
it's just so weirdddd.

is it the way my clothes fit me or something? IDK i've just never been in a situation like that.

Either way, it's sexual harassment... if you're not comfortable with it, see a guidance counsellor or authority figure and see if they can help it to stop.

It could be because you are new... people like to scare fresh meat.

Q: what are the side effects of anal sex?Does it increase ur butt size.

Well, if you're going to have anal sex, make sure you have plenty of lube.

If the guy isn't gentle enough, you can develop tears in your rectal tissue, which can get infected.

It won't make your butt bigger, but it may stretch your anus.

Q: ok yeah some people probably will call me a slut but im 14 and i had sex with my boyfriend. well we started for like 4 min then he noticed the condom broke and i just got over my period yesterday. im so scared wht are the earliest signs of pregnany and is my risk of it really high?
please let me know im soo scared right now even my boyfriend was crying about it

I'm surprised that nobody has mentioned this...

If you're really worried, and it was recent, then (assuming you can get it where you are) get a prescription for the morning after pill (Plan B). You don't want to ruin your life forever because of a defective condom!

The only problem is that in some states you can't get it.

Q: I've decided to take up indoor tanning. I'm gonna start a membership at Hollywood tans this month. I was wondering, how many times should I go a week, and for how long (10 minutes, 15 minutes)? I want to build up a DARK tan. As dark as i can get. If it helps, I'm using HT60 tanning bed. Thanks alot! : )

I'd warn you against trying to build up a really dark tan... you don't want to look fake! Nothing is grosser than a girl who looks fake and orange.

Q: Okay just fyi, I am a girl.
Most of my life all my friends have been guys, but I'm getting tired of it. I want more girl friends but I don't really know how to like...I dunno, befriend them, I guess? 'Cause I'm just so used to being around guys and having guys as friends. I don't know how to interact with girls as easily. Not to mention I've always kind of felt like the other girls had something I didn't. Don't really know how to explain that one, but yeah...
I want to like, have girl friends and girls nights and all that and at the moment, I have like 2 girls, and a whole bunch of guys.
It needs to change...so how do I do it?

Wow... why would you want female friends? Girls are a ton of trouble... I was friends with all girls in high school, and there was sooo much drama. Now I'm in university and almost all of my friends are guys.

There's nothing wrong with being friends with guys! Hey, it gets you invited to boy's night out...

I live with 4 guys and NO girls this year, and it's great.

Just be happy about who you're friends with... it doesn't matter if they're male or female, just that you like them for who they are.

Q: I saw a commercial for like, a birth control ring or something? The ring was quite large, so how do you put that in? Does it go in your vagina? How does it work.
Thanks.

I was on NuvaRing, so I'm going to warn you about it. It was a great concept... only changing once a month is a huge plus. The problem is that I found I was really susceptible to infections when I was using it. And nothing is worse than an infection!

As for how you put it in, you bend it so that it's flat, then you insert it as far in as you can. You can't feel it at all!

I just thought I'd warn you about the infection thing though, because it's something I didn't know about it.

Q: I have a strange problem.
My boobs got smaller.
My bras don't fit anymore, but my old bras do.
I went down about a cup size.
How is this possible???

Well, did you lose weight recently? That can cause you to lose a cup size.

Q: Hi,

I'm thinking about going on the Pill. What is actually involved? When you go to the doctor what do they do? Do you have to get tested and stuff? I've heard something about you have to get your blood pressure taken - what's that? Do you have to get an injection? Sorry I'm asking so much but I'm a bit worried coz I obviously haven't done this before. I'd appreciate advice from someone who's actually gone or is on the Pill and had experience. Thanks in advance!

It's really quite painless.

They may take your blood pressure, but it's nothing scary! They'll just put a cuff around your arm, inflate it and measure your blood pressure, because if you have really high blood pressure the Pill can be dangerous.

You don't have to have an injection... there is a form of birth control that is an injection, called Depo Provera, but it's a totally separate thing (actually, it's what I'm on now).

The doctor will talk to you about the Pill and its side effects, tell you how to take it, and give you a prescription. That's all!

Good luck.

Q: Can someone please give me step by step instructions on how to balance a chemical equation??? For examle, the equation--

NH3 + NO ---> N2 + H2O

I'm really confused!

Actually, Mousy made one mistake in the steps they gave...

You're supposed to start with the element you have the most of, but leave hydrogen and oxygen to the end.

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My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.