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Does he really like me as much as he says he does?
Here's the sitch. We went on a date 2 weeks ago with this guy I met online. We went to the park talked a little, mostly my fault because I was so shy, and then went to Starbucks. We had frappucinos and become more lively. Then we went back to the park, hung out talked some more and we laid on the bench looking into each other's eyes. He asked me what I was thinking... and me being really shy, I was like uhmm nothing hehe. He said, well to be honest, I'm thinking about sex. And don't get me wrong, it was coursing through my head as well. Then we kissed he initiated, and then we just made out for a while. After like 30 minutes of making out, we decide to go to my car and well mess around. So we're messing around and blah blah, we end early because well i was feeling uncomfortable not because of him but because well the car was small, so we decide to just call it a night. I take him home we talk a little and he says, "I don't want to leave because the second I get out of this car, the rest of my night is going to be boring..." So I was like awhh then don't haha, but then you know he had to leave so then he left his shirt in my car and I was like wait, you left your shirt. He was like well... maybe I should leave it in there just so that I know that we can go on a 2nd date I was like awwhhh okay. So then I drive home and call him and tell him that I made it home safe and yadada. Then I ask him how he thought the date went, because truth be told it was his first date with another guy. Yes, i'm gay. Anyway, He was like it was really fun and blah blah, I really think he was lying. Well anyway, it got all serious and he was like, what are you looking for? I said, well i'm looking for a relationship to be honest.. and it doesn't have to be a strict relationship, like it can be open (I was lying because I didn't want to like freak him out). So then he said, yeah I'm looking for an open relationship as well because you know, i'm 18 and my sex/social life has only just begun, he's a senior in high school and i'm a junior. So anyway I was like yeah... coool.... Well a couple days later, we're talking on the phone, the reason why is because he lives 45 minutes away. Anyway I call him sometime later and ask him to go to homecoming with me, and he was really excited and was like "yes!@!@" So i'm all happy floating on clouds and what not. Then I call him the Friday after our first date, and wanted to see what's up? Well, some other guy picked up and said, "Michael's busy right now, he'll call you later *hangup*" Now, haha this transitions to any type of relationship... but I thought he was cheating on me and I know that we're not official and that we're not going out, but a couple days before he said that he "liked me." So I felt like shit and that I was being cheated on... I'm with my friends and decide well hmmm let's see if he's just trying to ignore me. So I use their phones and call him, no response so i'm like okay well maybe he really is busy... well for the rest of the night i'm with my friends... and it happens. He calls all of their cell phones back, except for mine. This seems to be a BIG indicator that something is wrong... So a day goes by and i'm pissed at him... I call him and ask him what he was doing on that Friday and he told me that he was at a birthday party and that everyone was getting drunk and blah blah so I buy the story and am like okay fine i'll take that... I ask him if he wants to hang out the next weekend and he's like sure. So then the week goes by, he doesn't talk to me or call me like he used to he rarely text messages me and never responds when I respond so then i'm thinking... well you know what I'm going to ignore him and see if you know he ends up calling me and all that stuff. So then the weekend comes by and I call him to see if I can come and pick him up, well on the day that I called him he's like Oh yeah sure it'll be lots of fun. Then I call him the day we planned to go out and he was like, "I REALLLY want to hang out with you.... but can I take a raincheck?" So then I ask, "well why?" And he goes, " well I just don't really want to leave town right now... so i'm like well that's fine i'll just come over and hang out in your town then... he's like naw... I don't want you to drive all the way out here..." I'm like hmm... then he asks, "are you mad at me?" I go, "no, i'm just really disappointed because you seemed enthusiastic about it yesterday." He goes, "well I promise i'll make it up to you!" I was like... "fine... talk to you later." then a couple days go by and I really decide to just not call him or text him or anything just to see if he you know longs for me or something. So after two days, he texts me saying "good morning, how are you?" I text him back and of course he never texts me back until the later afternoon saying, "What's up?" so I mean I'm really confused... I don't know what is his problem I mean he has a myspace, and i'm his number one, but when I look at his gay friends myspaces, I see that he comments them all the time saying things like, "Why haven't you called me?? Are you ignorning my calls???" and these are guys that live far far away but he sees them once a year and all. So I mean I know i'm probably over reacting and am acting REALLY Clingy, but I just think he's avoiding me and doesn't really see me as anything else but maybe a simple booty call... and I know I haven't asked him directly what is going on between us, but I figure... If you like someone, wouldn't you call them all the time, or at least get on AIM and have an IM conversation as much as you could?? I just need some help as to what I should do... I mean my birthday is this Friday, and I figure if he doesn't at least call me on my birthday, then it's a big indicator that he doesn't like me as much as he said he does. and I have told him it's my birthday. I know this is a REALLLLLY long question but the background info really helps when trying to help me out... and Please give good thorough advice.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You will find, from time to time, people with issues much more deeper than yours. People not as secure as you. People who play mind games with secure people like you.
While I understand how it hurts to invest in someone who does not invest in you, I also understand how your "friend" can feel nourished by all this attention he receives from others. I could tell by all the player lines he gave you while on your date that you are not the first and not the last to feel used but still addicted to him.
You must fully believe that you deserve better. You showed glimpses of that when you decided to stop calling/texting him and wait for him to make the next move. He depends on guys like you to build his own self esteem. And I am sure he is a very good looking guy.
Please, avoid the manipulators of the world. A manipulator is often superficial, insecure, and fake, and as they get older they get better at hiding their insecurities with extreme confidence. But no matter how sexy they appear to you, they WILL hurt you. It always appears that there are many manipulators in the world, but this is not so. Manipulators are often just the most blatant, most vocal, and most beautiful. But in actuality they are often the most insecure.
My advice is to rid this guy from all your lines of communication. Take his name off your phone and computer pages. He sounds like trouble.
Its ok to be cautious, but in the future don't fear trusting someone just because this guy manipulated you into obsessing over him.
If you are looking for a relationship start interviewing guys for the job. You will get better at spotting the bullshiting manipulator. Don't judge someone based on looks, financial situations, or by their personal interests. Good people come in many shapes.
I hope you have an amazing birthday Friday. Spend it with the friends that really like you.
Good luck.
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First of all, ignore the other guy. He's a closed-minded jerk. :) There are times I wish there was an e-slap feature on here...
Pretty much, since you said that you wanted an open relationship, you opened yourself into becoming a booty call. That sucks, but it happens... I know it's happened to me. So NEVER say you want something from a relationship that you don't.
Pretty much, I'd ditch him. He's just keeping you on the line. You deserve better treatment than that. There are other men out there, and this one is just a waste of time.
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Hmm i got your answer....get jesus and your life....and start likeing girls...how can u be gay????thats fucken nasty....www.gotjesus.com
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teehee. don't worry. i have like 3 gay friends and the talking never stops so i'm used to the longness of the stories. anywhos, erm it seems to me that this guy isn't looking for a full commitment or a boyfriend but rather wants to just flirt and such.
and you're probably freakin him out just a tad there with all the contacting him in any way possible 24/7 so lay off that for a while. seriously.
just IM him/text/ call him tomorrow asking hey, what's up..blah blah. wanna come to my birthday party or something like that. and if he ditches or does something along the lines of that, screw him. go find other guys that are better than him. and happy almost birthday yo =D
snapples. i wanna talk to you now XD
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