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about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

tomorrow, my boyfriend is in a play, and I told him I can't come because I have work, so he's REALLY bummed, but really, I'm gonna show up and surprise him. My question is, what should I get him? Like you would get a girl roses for a good performance, so what should you get a boyfriend? Keep it under 10-20 dollars. Just brainstorm a whole bunch of ideas. I don't care whether its unoriginal or really creative. I just cant think of ANYTHING. haha thanks.

Carnations and a balloon. My friend's mom always got us balloons when we were in plays and we absolutely loved them! Good luck!

I have a problem. I cannot seem to stop eating. I at times have control over what I eat, but on the weekends when I have time on my hands, I eat a lot. Today, I said to myself that I would not eat a whole bunch and I did anyway. I am not sure what is causing me to do this, but I could use some tips to stop stuffing my face all of the time. It will start when I am hungry, but then I don't stop after I am satisfied.
AHHHH!

I rate high for good advice.

Haha...I'm like that too. I eat sooo much whenever I'm given the opportunity. Just as long as it's not negatively affecting your health, it's perfectly okay. If it bothers you a lot, try to find something to keep your mind occupied. Whenever I end up eating a lot like that it's because I'm bored and don't have anything else to do. Distract yourself from the food somehow. Go somewhere, clean, make something, basically, do something with your hands. Another idea is to keep food away from you. If it's sitting out, put it away. I don't konw how much I helped, but I hope I helped a little at least. Good luck!

I want to put a photo of me on my website, but it's really big, and my mom said I should make it smaller so no one can see my face up close (for safety reasons). I tried to resize it, but I don't know how to. I don't have Paint on my computer either, so I don't know how I can make it smaller. Please give me some advice on how to do it, or some websites I can go to that will help me with this kind of stuff.
Five for everyone that helps!

Download IrfanView from the internet. Once you have it copy and paste the picture into the program. Go to "Image", "Resize/Resample" and then change the number in the "Width" box to something smaller. The height box will automatically change so that the picture doesn't get stretched out or anything. I hope I helped and good luck!

I think I am in love. Can someone tell me if this is love. I'm only 14 but I think I get it. There's this guy that I am going out with. I like him alot. I can't help but smiling everytime I talk to him on the phone and on the internet. I smile everytime I see him. I think about him before I go to sleep and when we hug neither of us can really let go. He tells me that he loves me alot. I think I'm definately in love. So please tell me does it sound like love to you?

It sounds like love to me :)

I believe that love is a deep emotional connection. Depending on how long you have been dating this guy and how long you have known him, it may just be the beginning of love. I decided that I was in love when I could "feel forever" when I was talking to or was with my boyfriend. That feeling of security, that you're going to feel the way you do forever, is a good sign of love too. It's different for every person, but again, it sure sounds like you're in love to me. I hope that you are because love is such a wonderful feeling. Good luck!

I like this kid but I don't know how to tell him. He's not in any of my classes and I can't just go up to him and talk. How do I tell him I like him without looking like a loser? Thanks!

What you should do is everytime you see him say "hi" and flirt with him a little. You don't have to come out and tell him you like him. He should be able to tell by the way that you act around him. You won't seem like a loser at all if you tell him after you're pretty sure he's figured it out already. Telling someone you like them can be really scary so even if you feel like a loser, you won't seem like one. I hope everything works out for you and good luck!

The first time you make out, is it 'scary'? I know that sounds weird, but I would imagine it would be that way. How do you know when someone's about to kiss you? Can they usually tell if you've never made out before? Help! :)

Yeah, you can definitely tell. It's a lot like in the movies. Everybody goes about it in a different way so there's no specific way to tell. Usually you can sense or feel it about to happen and a lot of times the person will say something implying that they're about to kiss you. It's very normal to be nervous, but don't be scared! Try not to think about it too much and you won't be a bad kisser. You'll get even better the more you do it and you won't be nervous anymore. The other person probably won't be able to tell if you've kissed before, but you should tell them. It'll make them feel really special that they gave you your first kiss :)

Good luck!

13/f
i used to cut but i stopped. i hardly ever did it, like, maby once a month, i dont know. but whenever im really upset, i feel like doing it, but ive tought my self to not cut and read the bible instead. but i feel like i should still talk about it. noone ever found out and i dont want annyone to ever know, but im wondering if theres some type of email or something where it can stay a secret. thanx i rate high

There are hotlines that you can call that don't cost anything. This website may be able to help you too.

http://www.bpdresources.com/selfinjury.html

It's really great that you were able to stop on your own, that shows a lot of strength and willpower.

Well I've been driving standard for a year. Two months ago, I booked my test (It takes very long to get an appointment here) and then two weeks ago, I started my lessons on an automatic car. I thought I was a pretty good driver until my new driving instructor pointed out everything that I did wrong and it was so horrible.
He told me so many bad things but I fixed the majority of it. Today, I failed anyway and I feel so bad.
I was freaking out way too much. The examiner told me I didn't make -one- good turn. Not even a good right turn. He also told me that it seemed like I was new to driving.
I feel so bad now. Just last week my friends got me a three-month rental on this cute car for my birthday but I can't drive it alone because I only have my learner's licence and my mum is at work from 6 in the morning to 8 in the evening on weekdays. This was my first test and now I have to wait another month to get my Novice Licence.
Have any of you ever driven without a supervisor? Have you ever failed a test?

Why not try using the standard car for your test? If that's what you're most comfortable with, you'll probably do a better job. My cousin has failed her test about 10 times in about 5 different places. Don't feel bad at all. Lots of people, even very experienced drivers can fail the test once. Now that you've been through it, you'll know exactly what to expect and you should have a much easier time. When you go in to take the test again, let the person giving the test know that you're nervous, that may help a little too. Practice driving the route where the test goes. Pretend that it's a test and have whoever's with you tell you how you did. You'll get used to the road where you'll be tested on and feel more comfortable when it comes time to take the test again. Good luck!

Ok, what are some good topics to give a speech on that will reach the 'hearts minds and souls of your fellow students'. I'm really tryin to think of a topic that will appeal to ALL of the audience (in this case grades 9 to 12), but I cant seem to think of anything that isnt cliche and I dont want to do that. Does anyone know something? I wont talk about rape or child abuse or something because its not really something direct to reach people with. Or how the media influences kids. They'll all be like 'Uh no, whats that got to do with us?' Do you get what I'm saying? And no one is a rapist or has been raped, so, you know, I want something they'll actually listen to, something actually worth talking about. Please help me!

Talk about violence in TV, video games, music etc. There's a huge controversy about how it affects kids. The sides are very defined. That's a speech I'd sure get into. Another good idea is fast food. All the gross stuff that happens that people don't really know about. I hope I helped and good luck!

My ex and I broke up a little while ago. It was my decision. It was mostly because he lives a while away and I only get to see him on weekends. Well a fiew days ago this kid asked me out.. it was really un expected and I didnt know what to say so I just said yes. I like my boyfriend right now and it feels good to have someone hold me every day, but i feel like my ex is THE one for me. And I think I love him. Id feel bad if i broke up with my bf for my ex cause he just asked me out and it would be really weird cause he is in my class... what should I do?

Tell your current boyfriend everything. Let him know exactly how you feel, why you broke up with your ex, everything. This way he won't be getting any wrong ideas from you and won't be completely shocked if you break up with him "for no reason". If he's a good bf he'll talk to you about it and be very understanding. Give him a month or so and if you still feel that way, it's silly to stay in a relationship with him. Good luck!

14/f........one of my new friends named kate switches the guys that she likes pretty often. the thing about her is that she likes a guy until she knows that they like her..kinda weird i kno but anyways.....she started liking this one guy named phil...later he liked her and she was over him. then she liked some guy named john...she got over him b/c of a new guy..miles...at this point she still likes miles but here's the thing...i like phil..i mean i dont really know him but i kinda like him. i kno that if i start talking to him and stuff that kate will SERCRETLY be a little defensive...i'm just worried that if i make a move she'll find out and get mad at me either for making a move, not telling her, or w/e..anybody have any ideas about this situation??

Whoa, if you're going to avoid every guy your friend has ever liked, there's going to be nobody left! She's likes everybody! What you should do is flirt with Phil a little first. Make it so that other people would kind of see that you're somewhat interested. Then talk to your friend about it before it gets serious. Tell her that you know that she liked Phil before and you don't want to hurt her feelings, but you really like him are going to try hooking up with him. Be firm and tell her how it is, but say it in a nice way and be sensitive and understanding. It's not like she actually went out with Phil, if that were the case it would be a little different. She didn't make her move and she's liked a few guys since, so there's no reason for you not to go for it. Tell her that you're worried that she'll go after him now since she knows that you like him. Tell her everything. If she's not understanding and doesn't leave Phil to you after that, then she's a pretty awful friend. I hope everything works out for you and good luck!

I'm a 16 year old girl.

Ok. So I like my eyes and all but when guys try to get me to go out with them just by telling me that they like my eyes it totally turns me off even if the guy is really hott or nice. Here is an example of what most guys say: "Your eyes have taken over my soul."

The whole "your eyes see into my soul" thing is getting very old. My question is, can't guys come up with some original pick up lines?

Let it slide when you're not interested. If a guy that you like tells you how wonderful your eyes are, ask the question. It's not important to know if you're not interested in him, just take the compliment. It's very important to know if the guy likes you for other reasons if you think you may want to date him.

When a guy says something like that to you, you could really throw them off by saying "Don't you like anything else about me?". I think that that is exactly what you're feeling. Sometimes I wonder if the only reason people like me is because I'm a redhead. That seems to be what they focus on. It's hard having a defining trait because you can never be sure of the other reasons why people like you. In all liklihood these guys do like you for other reasons, they're just trying too hard. Trying too hard is sometimes good, so give them a chance by making them explain themselves. If you ask that question back, they may be caught off guard, but you may also get a good answer. I hope I helped and good luck!

You give realy good advice. Your cute too.
I hope you dont mind that I added you as a favorite collumnist.

Awwwww thanks! That means a lot to me. It really feels so amazing to know that I can make a difference in the decisions people make and in the way that they view themselves and other people. It gives me a lot of confidence in the way that I go about my own life. Again, thanks so much, and I hope you don't mind that I added you as a favorite columnist too :)

I’m really into fashion and my parents know that. My mom and I have talked about me going to an art school before and she wouldn't mind if I did. I have a very good chance of getting into UCLA but there is one problem--my dad. He refuses to let me go to an art school. He wants me to go to UT (Texas) which is where he went. I'm in the top 10% of my class so I'm in automatically there. He told me that in the end it was my decision but if I decided to go to UCLA then he wouldn't pay for it. UCLA is an expensive school and it'll be even more since I'll be coming in out of state and I won't be able to pay for it on my own. I need my dad. I tried to get my mom to talk to him about it but it didn't help. So now I don't know what to do-- go to UCLA and pay for it on my own (which I most likely be able to do) or go to UT and have my dad pay for it. What do you think?

Go to UCLA. Your Dad should come around after a semster or so. This is your life decision and your Dad shouldn't affect what you want to do with your future. Wanting you to go to college where he went is silly. I'm paying for college completely on my own because I'm going where my parents didn't want me to go and I'm doing alright. This is your life, make it turn out the way you want it to, your Dad needs to stop trying to control you and let you make your own decisions. Good luck!

In what situation should you ask someone out? Should you hope for them to be your lifelong partner? Should you simply hope for a few fun months? Should you go for it only because you're desperate? Does every relationship need to be meaningful and long-lasting?

I ask because I'm uncertain whether to ask someone out, of course. I find him attractive and he can be pretty funny, but I don't think it'd last for a long time. I think the things pushing me towards him are my desperation for a relationship and the fact that he is pretty attractive, but otherwise there is no amazing spark. Are those good enough grounds to initiate a relationship?

Yes. It may be grand to find that one person the first time, but sometimes it's important to have prior relationships. I kind of regret not dating for fun when I was younger. When I did start dating I didn't know what to do, what to say, or anything. That can compromise a relationship that could have lasted otherwise. You need to get involved with people and learn about relationships so that you can understand what they're really about before it becomes important to know. It's great that you're thinking like this. Since you doubt the relationship would last and you're admitting this to yourself it will be easy for you to prevent yourself from doing things that you may regret. In other words, you can keep yourself from getting hurt. YES, definitely go out with him, you'll have a great time and learn some stuff, but DON'T have sex with him. You can make out and touch or whatever you want, that's actually a good idea so you can learn and practice, but no intercourse. It causes so many complications in relationships and is the source of so much regret for so many people. Don't tell him you love him if you don't and when the relationship is about to end, let it end peacefully and mutually if at all possible. Think of it as prepping for the right guy. You'll both have a great time together and just as long as you don't give this guy any wrong impressions you wouldn't be using him and it's perfectly okay to date him. "Meaningless" short-term relationships are important, if he were to date you, he probably wouldn't expect it to last either, especially since you are probably still young. Good luck!

ok when my mom was my age she had epelepsy.she said it started where she would black out for a miliseconnd and drop sompthing and not no how. the other day i dropped a bowl, but i dont remember it slipping out of my hands, i never let go! also i was holding a "shampame glass" by the stem thingy and i judt totally did the same thing. also a lot i get these bad heaedaches and i get dixzzy when i move my head. does anyonge no if i might have it? what shuld i do? please help!

My cousin has really severe epilipsy so what you're describing sounds completely different to me, but I'm thinking it could be a very mild case of epilepsy. There isn't a cure for epilepsy, so if your mother had it when she was younger she still has it now. Either she takes medication for it or had some type or surgery or other treatment. My advice is to go to talk to your mom about it and go to a doctor to get tested for it. It's important to know if you have epilepsy. If you do, whenever you black out you are having a seisure and are losing brain cells. I found a website that may be able to help you out.

http://www.teenhealthfx.com/answers/2895.html

Please go to a doctor and get it checked out. Good luck!

is 5'7 too tall for a 14 year old girl

My sister was that tall when she was 14 and I was always jealous of her because I think that 5'7'' is the perfect height. Most guys will end up being at least 5'8'', so there's not worries there! Lots of guys are even attracted to taller girls so you're lucky in that respect. :)

k i like this guy lets call him D and he is black i am white and my parents are totaly against that! i havent told them yt but i really like D so i am confussed about what to do!!! i think he likes me too but its kinda iffy!!! i wanna date him but i dont want to be disowned by my family. and i know they will disowen me because the had told me before if i had ever dated one then they would ! so what should i do!!!
Thanks!

P.S. for really stupid answers i will give ones!!

I think what you should do is get to be good friends with "D" first. Let your parents get to know him by doing things with him and a group of friends. You may not be able to change your parents opinions about blacks as a whole, but you can change their opinion about one particular person. "He's different from the others" is what they will say and believe. The more and more blacks they get to know perhaps they'll lose their racist opinions altogether. Make sure "D" knows how your parents feel and DO NOT start officially dating behind your parent's backs. I'm not saying you can't have a close or intimate relationship with him, but don't make it look like, or tell anyone that you are dating him. The disowning bit was probably just scare tactics, but if you lie to your parents they really might do it. It's a tricky situation, but the bottom line is, give your parents a chance, but don't let their racist opinions affect your own life. Good luck!

is it weird that im almost 15 and ive never had a boyfriend? could it have anything to do w/ my height im almost 5'9" and i just dont know why guys dont like me is there something wrong w/ me? i just get so fustrated when i see my friends w/ there boyfriends anyways, please help!

Don't worry about it at all. It's not weird, I was 18 when I got my first boyfriend. You're not all THAT tall, most guys are that height or taller. I know how frustrating it can be, but it really has nothing to do with you at all! I'm sure there's someone out there for you, there will be lots of opportunities to find them in the next 5 years. I hope you feel better and good luck!

okay. i really need my braces off. like i got them in 6th grade. and im now a freshman! i dont wear my elastics, and if i wear them they'll come off. and to those that have already had elastics and braces, approx. how long will it take for my teeth to not have an over bite anymore? i really need my braces off!!!!

I only had my braces for a year. I'd say stick with them because they'll probably be off pretty soon. You should ask your orthodontist about it though because every orthodontist is different and everyone has different teeth. Good luck!

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