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about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.

my forum
My FAQ

Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!

--Jack

advice

Im confused IDK what I should do for this new school year..I usally shop at like hot topic for tops and macys for bottoms..but this summer one of my friends were alot of prep clothes and she got alot of guy and me and here are like the same in looks...do guy prefer girls like this....another question I have is
what should I were
scene clothes
or american eagle...clothes

To answer your question, I like girls who wear American Eagle more, but then again I don't judge by looks.

I myself like any type of girl. I honestly don't judge looks as much as I do personality. If a girl is absolutely stunningly beautiful, but she's a bitch- why would I like her? What would our relationship be? What would we talk about? Her latest hair extensions? Yeah- that would be REALLY nice *Sarcasm: Party of one!*...
If a girl has a really nice personality- and she's really outgoing and sweet and nice and smart- and she's not necessarily the best looking girl- but she's not super unattractive- then I'll most likely want to date her over the beautiful bitch.

Do you get what I'm saying? If you let guys see your personality more than your looks- you'll end up with someone great. Trust me- most guys prefer personality over looks- they just don't know it yet =].

Wear what you want, what makes you comfortable, not what your friends want or what makes them feel comfortable. Be your own person ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

14/F/UK
So i have an amazing boyfriend who i'd never dump. He's out side of my school (goes to a different one) and we see eachother over weekends. We've been going out now for about a month.
We've hugged and kissed (like a peck on the lips) and now i think he wants to go further like a pull (snog) kinda thing (fair enough).
I was just wondering whether there were any tips that people had for me? One of my friends said that there's some sort of way that your tongue has to go? like girls go clockwise or something? I wasn't sure so is it true?
Please, ny thing will do. It's not my first but i've not done it in about 3 years. :S Any fo your tips will do, anything at all.
Thank you. :) x

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=542507

From there:

I know this sounds really lame, and I'm sure it is ;]

But just go with the flow. I don't really have experience in how to "properly" kiss, nor do I have experience with kissing at all! Can you say prude? ;]

Anyway- if it's your boyfriend/girlfriend- just be honest with him/her. Tell them you're nervous and you don't really know what you're doing. Apparently the people who are less-experienced is a big turn-on to some people.

Do what you feel comfortable with. If something feels awkward or uncomfortable, don't do it. If it feels right, ask the person if they are okay with that, and if they are- then you'll be fine.

There really isn't a CORRECT way to do it. Everyone does what they are comfortable with.

From my weak experience- this is what I can tell you:

1. Don't come on strong- it's really awkward for the other person.
2. Don't slobber all over the other person.
3. Don't stick your tongue all the way down their throat.

My friend on here, Laura, answered a question similar to this, and she gave a great answer. I will copy her answer, but know that credit goes to her.

www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=542699

Honestly, you could read a book about it, and you'd probably forget everything once you went in for the kiss.

Explore. Do what feels right. Make it fun, playful, romantic, whatever you want it to be. Don't make it all about jamming your tongue down his throat, and try not to drool all over him, because it's generally less than desireable to do so.

If you come off as confident it'll be a lot more fun. If all evening you're thinking "Oh my gosh, this is going to be bad" you won't enjoy yourself. Follow his lead at first, if you're truly that nervous.

And really, it's almost impossible to find a truly bad kisser. If anything, they might do something you're not used to; give it a chance before you hate it. Who knows, he might be thinking the same thing right now about you!

Over time, you'll develop your own personal style of kissing/making out, and that's not a bad thing. Do whatever feels good/right to you, and gets a positive reaction. For example, some people love a gentle, or less than gentle, bite of the lip, "necking", and other techniques. Like I already said, experiment & make it fun!

From personal experience I'd advise that you brush your teeth and floss, and have some mild mints with you, like TicTacs. Fruity is usually good, and less overpowering. If you're at a party, don't worry too much about what you're eating if you're both eating the same things, but a huge plate of hummus & extra garlic is a bad choice right before kissing =P. That's where mints come in handy for both of you. Casually offer him one if he's been gorging on something stinky.

Further reading and research:

--Jack
(16/m)

Okay so my bestfriend just kissed one
of my really close i liked guy friends,
and she was telling me what happened.
Well i was also talking to the guy she kissed
on myspace and told him that she said that
there dating and he was like well where not
and then i was like well you need to tell you
that you guys arent.Then i asked why not and
he said because he likes me and i also liked him
for a very long time but his bestfriend also
likes me who i used to like to and he thought
i liked him thats why he never flirted with me
before,but he said he wanted to secretly date
sense we will get so many people mad,but i dont want to secretly date anyone but i also really like him.What should i do about my bestfriend that thinks shes dating him and about me and him dating?

I think both of you need to stay away from this kid. He won't admit to your friend that they aren't even dating. He's leading her on- and that's wrong. He also wants to secretly date you, meaning he doesn't want people to know, and therefore he'd just be using you.

So would either of you dating a guy who is a user and someone who leads people on be very smart? Not so much.

Stay away from him, and let your friend know that this kid isn't serious about relationships and the entire situation will just end in unnecessary emotional pain.

--Jack
(16/m)

What is thumbnail abuse?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGH_Hz9sps4

I'm guessing that the "thumbnail" is something that everyone sees about a video on YouTube- like a picture of some sort.

Apparently some people put pictures of women in bikinis on their videos just to get more views.

So it's "thumbnail abuse" when they do that, because the thumbnail is not what the video is actually about.

--Jack
(16/m)

16/f.
Okay so I've known this guy for mostly all my life around 13 years. Well within the past year we became really close, like bestfriends. People thought we were dating because we were always together and the way we acted around each other. Well here's where it kind of gets tough. I'm not going to lie, I've had feelings for him before, but he didn't have any feelings back. Which obviously bugged me but that didnt bother our relationship. So it's been about 8 months since i stopped having feelings for him. But its difficult. Because i cant tell if i still have feelings for him anymore. Could i have been in love with him? I mean i liked him for a long time.
I can never tell whether or not i like him, but then when people ask i just say i dont know. He knew i liked him, but wasnt going to let that get in the way of things. How do you tell whether you still have feelings for someone, or whether you love someone? please dont tell me to talk to him, because he's not the type to just talk about this openly, he actually hates it. Our friendship kind of fell apart, and now all my friends think i should dump him as a friend. i dont even know if i have feelings for him, how can i dump him as a friend? ugh im confused, how do you know if you have feelings for someone who you thought you were over? How do you know your in love with someone? please help.

First- leave your other friends out of this. They will tell you what to do that is convenient for THEM- not you.

Do not "dump him as a friend". That's really stupid, lame, etc. You have been friends your whole lives, and you're going to end it because your friends want you to? If that's the reason, don't.

I think you still "love" him, and the reason I think that is because the idea is in your mind. Obviously you've been thinking about this entire thing, him included, for quite some time. You're thinking about him, if I'm not mistaken, and USUALLY when you think of someone a lot, you are fond of them. [Sorry, I've just always want to use "fond" ;].]

If you don't really think about him much, and you're really not wanting to be friends with him [before your friends gave the awful suggestion], then I would say you don't love him. There's nothing wrong with not loving him anymore, but making that the reason you end the friendship is a pretty weak excuse. He didn't DO anything. He didn't like you, and you don't seem too upset about that, so WHY end it?

I was in a similar situation as you before. Basically, I liked her, she didn't like me, and she was pretty brutal about it. Our friendship fell apart for about three months. But then after she finally got over it, and we talked, we became friends again. And we've been best friends since then, and even before then.

Don't let this end the friendship- it doesn't have to. If you just let things settle down for a bit and then maybe try going back to normal, it could work.

--Jack
(16/m)

I need to convince my parents to get me a cell phone. I am from 14-16 years old.

Approach your parents in a mature matter. That is, don't act whiny and don't complain. Complaining and acting like a child will get you nowhere and your parents will NOT feel as if you are grown up enough to get one. Show them maturity. Tell them the following reasons you think you should have a cell phone:

1. You are out with your friends, and your parents need a way to contact you without going through your friends. What if there is an emergency and you are alone without a phone?

2. You think because you're growing older you deserve the privilege and you think you need privacy in terms of phone calls because you think you are mature enough.

3. [Optional] Suggest that you get a job in order to help pay for the bill. Either that, or you'll do more chores to help pay for the phone.

4. Have a list of phones that are affordable and easy-to-use. Find the cheapest plans and whatnot, if your family is not already on a plan.

If they don't let you get a phone, be patient. You will get one eventually. As I said: do NOT complain and do NOT be snotty about it. That gets you nowhere.

--Jack
(16/m)

ok im in 14/f and i still dont have a cell& all my friends joke around how im like the only 14 yr old that doesnt have a cell. & i hate when boys call my home cause my mom is always like who is that?how do you know him ? where do you know him from ..like that etc..
i likek tried everythitng. i alwasy take walks with my friends and she always calls ther cell and i go if they didnt have cells wat would u do ..nothin..that exactly why i need a cell or what if i wasnt with my friends and you wanted me home you cant contact me.
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO CONVISE MY PARENTS TO GET ME A CELL. my brother got a cell in 7th grade.
& i told her to buy it online its cheaper and she is like no we would just go to verizon store and we see how much for the phone and plan is & im like wtf it cheaper online and their not going to buy it anyway cause their weird like that....

Approach your parents in a mature matter. That is, don't act whiny and don't complain. Tell them the following reasons you should have a cell phone:

1. Your brother got one in 7th grade and you're going into 8th [I'm assuming that from your age].

2. You are out with your friends, and your parents need a way to contact you without going through your friends.

3. You think because you're growing older you deserve the privilege and you think you need privacy in terms of phone calls because you think you are mature enough.

And like the person below said- go with them to the store. It's actually cheaper in the store, because the rebates don't always go through and then you're out $50 or so. Going to the store means you can pay then and get the phone then.

--Jack
(16/m)

heyy , im torii
im thirteen and im going
to a party with techno & RB music mostly
& i dont really know how to dance to it.. :/
and i was wondering if you have any suggestions
of dance moves and the partys the 14th so i need to learn some FAST id apreciate it greatly
& i dont exactly know how to grind if you can
exsplain that for me so its a little clearer

kthanks
T0Rii BaBiE

http://www.wikihow.com/Grind-%28for-Girls%29

From there:

1. Get out there and have some fun. You can't grind if you're not even on the dance floor or standing watching other people grind.
2. Move towards the middle of a big group of people. Usually that's where a lot of the grinding is.
3. Find one of your girlfriends and begin to dance with her. Dance with her normally as if no one was watching. This doesn't have to be sexually. A guy will soon notice you, mainly because you're dancing and having fun with your best friend. Most likely a guy won't say anything when he wants to grind, but instead will give you subtle signals.
4. Act normally, as if you don't even realize that they're coming. Guys can sense fear, so make sure you don't give off any.
5. Know what kind of grinding you're doing. When you feel a guy grab you around the hips he can either be facing you or facing your back. If he's facing your back this is normal grinding and more popular. Front grinding is more risqué and sexy! Most people don't do front grinding their first time.
6. Leave your arms by your side or maybe even grab his arms.
7. Be ready for the song to end. Usually, the guy will walk away. Sometimes he'll say something and sometimes not. Don't be offended if he just walks away in the middle of the song. Don't let that get to you. Just quickly find that friend you were dancing with before. Make it look like nothing is wrong and you're glad that he's gone. Also if you feel that the guy is starting to slow down and might leave, beat him to the punch. Leave him first!

http://forums.di.fm/archive/index.php/t-56375.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUN51co3ytw

There you go =].

--Jack
(16/m)

ive only had sex three times and i don know if i cumed or not i have no clue how will i know

If you're a guy- it's kind of obvious.

If you're a girl, most girls do not when they have sex, and won't until they are in their mid thirties.

http://www.howtohavegoodsex.com/how_do_i_know_if_i_am_having_an_.htm

That might help you a bit, though.

--Jack
(16/m)

does anyone know the hairstyle that miley cyrus has????? thanks if u do!

http://www.thehairstyler.com/celebrity_hairstyle.asp?name=Miley+Cyrus

There you go ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

i'm having hard troubles trying to get guys to like me what should i do i need some advice

love,can't get a guy

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=505520

From there:
First- I'm going to tell you that relationships aren't all they are cracked up to be. Sure- they are fun having someone to share things with and be with. But they involve a huge commitment and if you end up with someone who is clingy- they'll want to be with you every minute of every day- and you might not have time for friends or anything else you want to do. I say this because one of my ex-girlfriends was sort of like that- and got mad if I was busy with other plans.. and it was just really retarded.

Anyway- the best way to attract a guy is to be yourself. If you try to change yourself just to get a boyfriend [especially at your age]- you'll just end up with someone who only likes you for what you've become- not who you are. If you be yourself- and don't change- you'll attract more guys who actually care about your personality rather than just your looks.

I myself like any type of girl. I honestly don't judge looks as much as I do personality. If a girl is absolutely stunningly beautiful, but she's a bitch- why would I like her? What would our relationship be? What would we talk about? Her latest hair extensions? Yeah- that would be REALLY nice *Sarcasm: Party of one!*...
If a girl has a really nice personality- and she's really outgoing and sweet and nice and smart- and she's not necessarily the best looking girl- but she's not super unattractive- then I'll most likely want to date her over the beautiful bitch.

Do you get what I'm saying? If you let guys see your personality more than your looks- you'll end up with someone great. Trust me- most guys prefer personality over looks- they just don't know it yet =].

--Jack
(16/m)

I'm looking to get a small(ish), inexpensive pet. Preferably one that's not too much to maintain, and also won't be too smelly.
Obviously I know if the cage or whatnot is cleanred properly that shouldn't be too much of an issue, but you know what I mean.
I live in an apartment (well, private house), so noise is also a factor.

Also, if you suggest a fish, maybe suggest a certain kind instead of just "get a fish". Like name or what color it is and what not. And also maybe let me know the price range and what they eat.

Thanks! =)

You read my mind. I recommend a fish, and because it's probably the most inexpensive pet you can get, and it's small and easy to take care of.

Fish obviously don't make noise, and goldfish, which is what I recommend, only cost about $0.25 a piece, though some may be a little more toward a dollar.

The food shouldn't cost much, and if you go to PetCo or PetsMart, you can ask a clerk, and they should be able to tell you how often you should feed a fish and whatnot. The food shouldn't be too expensive.

--Jack
(16/m)

Okay I'm 14 years old and this summer has been like the crazziest summer. Okay these are the things I did just in 2 weeks

1.Gave a blow job in a public restroom
2.Had sex in a public restroom
3.Flashed a lot a guys at a public pool
4.Sent nude Photo's to atleast 7 different guys
5.Had a 3some (2 other guys)
6.madeout with a way older guy
7.Did a lot of ohter "things" in public places

Do you want my serious answer or my "I want a 5 answer"?

I'm going to give you my serious answer. I think you need to stop, because pretty soon, people will start to call you a slut, and I'm sure you don't want that. What you're doing is dangerous and it can lead to pregnancy, STDs and a number of other things.

I would consider you a slut, yes, because you seem a little TOO proud of what you're doing.

Do what you will, but I'm going to recommend you stop. If you do decide to continue, please practice safe sex.

--Jack
(16/m)

I met this guy at drivers ed (dorky right?) and before i started talking to him i thought he was really hot and probably stuck up but after i got to know him i thought he was really sweet and cool and we had alot in common. so we got each others numbers and last week we texted all week long. he was on a camping trip so he didnt have much signal and whenever he did get it he would text me. btw- drivers ed was two weeks ago. we talked soo much and flirted and i laughed at stuff he said. it was great! (also we were flirting or whatever he was telling me how he was practicing guitar and i told him i really wanted to learn and he said that he would teach me.)so now we havent really talked this week and whenever we did i would have to text him first. i like him so far from how much i know about him but i dont want to bug him or push too hard.. i just cant tell if he likes me or if he thinks of me as a friend.. what do you think??

If he was doing the things below, that Laura told you, courtesy of me =], then I would assume yes.

And it sounds like he does, since he's texting you at any opportunity he has.

Just see where it goes, and maybe hang out with him a few times. Sounds like a possible relationship? ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

i need a sweet, somewhat new love song. i love acoustic anything. someone hook me up?

I won't be able to give you enough to fill a CD, but I'll give you some that are definitely worth it ;].

"So Much Love" -The Rocket Summer
"I Need You" -Relient K
"Must Have Done Something Right" -Relient K
"Run To You" -The Rocket Summer
"The Best Thing" -Relient K
"I'm Taking You With Me" -Relient K
"My Girl's Ex-Boyfriend" -Relient K
"Getting Into You" -Relient K

Yes, I realize this is only from two bands, but they are the most amazing ever. I promise you'll love them =]. These are soft rock, generally.

--Jack
(16/m)

f 17

now being serious
I think big is beautiful
I look at women like Queen Latifah and Tyra Banks
and they are Thick beautiful women

but then you have the Paris Hilton's and the Nicole Richies
who are dam near a string and thats what america thinks is right.
thats what men think is "Hot"

but to me they have little girl bodies

now i'm a thick girl and i love it
but i still sometimes feel the need to be thin
not because i'm not happy with myself
but because of the way others may look at me
my skinny friends get attention from guys our age
but i get it from men that are 20, 21 ,22

I jus really want to know Is big BEAUTIFUL
or am i just buggin'?

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=505520

From there:

The best way to attract a guy is to be yourself. If you try to change yourself just to get a boyfriend [especially at your age]- you'll just end up with someone who only likes you for what you've become- not who you are. If you be yourself- and don't change- you'll attract more guys who actually care about your personality rather than just your looks.

I myself like any type of girl. I honestly don't judge looks as much as I do personality. If a girl is absolutely stunningly beautiful, but she's a bitch- why would I like her? What would our relationship be? What would we talk about? Her latest hair extensions? Yeah- that would be REALLY nice *Sarcasm: Party of one!*...
If a girl has a really nice personality- and she's really outgoing and sweet and nice and smart- and she's not necessarily the best looking girl- but she's not super unattractive- then I'll most likely want to date her over the beautiful bitch.

Do you get what I'm saying? If you let guys see your personality more than your looks- you'll end up with someone great. Trust me- most guys prefer personality over looks- they just don't know it yet =].

But, to specifically answer your question, I think big can be very beautiful. In fact, if a girl doesn't have a little meat [excuse my vocabulary], then it's really sick. Girls who are thinner than stick figures are SICK.

Trust me, you'll find a guy who loves you for YOU.

--Jack
(16/m)

What are the warning signs of guys who just want to get with you to get you into bed?

He always talks about sex.

He is always looking at you in a sexual manner, as in at your breasts and such.

He doesn't care about your feelings whatsoever.

He doesn't seem like someone who likes commitment.

But, here are some ways you can tell if he likes you and not just to get in your pants:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=506340

From there:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.

2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.

3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...

4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.

5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".

6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.

If you like this guy- and he does all or most of those things- my best bet is that he does like you. That means one and only one thing: Ask him to make sure, and then try the relationship out. Who knows- it could be great!

--Jack
(16/m)

15/f.

Ok, so i've been goin out with this guy for about 10 or 11 months, he's my best friend as well as my boyfriend, we've known each other since we were 8 years old. so its a really strong bond we have. But just recently things have like started to heat up abit, he told me he wants to go further with me, and that he loves me so much. He said he knows we could go further and I want to. But I'm not to sure anymore as he's been doing really minxy gestures and it feels good, i won't deny that but I'm just feeling this doubt.
Should I Go For It ?
Or Not ?

Help ?
Signed, Lou.

X

The fact that you're asking this question tells me you're not ready. I didn't say you weren't old enough- I said you weren't ready. This question shows me that you are having second thoughts about all of this, and whether you asked on this website or to someone in person, it would still mean you were unsure.

I say you should wait it out and just let him know that. Then when you feel comfortable, which I'm sure you will eventually, then maybe go further. Sometimes taking it slow is the best thing you can do. That way, when you do start going a little further, you know it's what you want, and it's all the more better =].

--Jack
(16/m)

this i s something ive wanted to do but
how much do tattoo artists/body piercing ppl make?

On WikiAnswers, it says that usually they can charge anywhere between $80-$150 on average, with some charging up to $285 an hour.

So it would really depend on how many jobs you do a year to determine your income.

Look online, and you can probably find out more specifically what you'd make ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

I am a black female 30 years old. Im in a interacial relationship black/indian me and my boyfriend have been very much in love untill recently when we made a off color joke that was not intened to offend me but it did. He felt like I shouldnt have reacted the way I did to his joke and if I understood him I would have known that he was just joking. Lately I have been talking about marriage and he feels we dont understand eachother after our misunderstanding. I really want to marry this guy but Iam afraid of wasting my time. We are good friends,never had any major problems. He cant even think of marrying me because he feels like something isnt right about our relationship but cant pin point what it is. I believe he loves me but for some reason feel like he is trying to avoid marriage what do you think. Should I get to know him better and stop talking about marriage we are both in our 30's not getting any younger.

I am only 16, so I don't know how much help I will be.

However, I want to know what your heart tells you. If it's telling you to stay with him, then stay with him. If it feels like he's worth it, then he probably is.

If your heart tells you to not be with him, then don't.

It seems like the joke has made him think something else of you- that you don't appreciate his humor or something. Talk to him about it. If you've forgiven him about the joke, then tell him that. Look him straight in the eye. Ask him to try to pin point what the problem might be between you.

If it's too much trouble, there's really no harm in moving on. But basically, follow your heart, talk to him, and then decide.

--Jack
(16/m)

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