about

All is as it should be.

I will do my best to help you, as others have helped me.

advice

i lost my virginity last night, but it hurt and it was reallllly hard for him to fit. he's pretty huge.. so i guess it's understandable.. but is this normal? im afraid that im just too small now. do you think this is perfectly normal? did other people go through the same thing? thanks

Yeah... "G" is right. I am just going to elaborate. The vagina is tight, the hole is small. It expands when you are getting some and gets smaller when you are not. If you have a baby it will expand even more and you will have to do exercises to get it to be small again. You may even bleed. I hurt for a few months when i started having sex. My stomach would hurt if it was to rough or if it went in too deep. It will take time for you to develop and strech out even with new positions. I am still expanding, even with regular (weekly) sex. What you should do with him is have him finger you. Add more fingers each time and have him go in a little at a time and take your time with the positions. Eventually it will feel great!
Peace

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my period is always late. and i am a virgin. just for complete reassurance..theres no way i am pregnant right?

like sure he's 'came' on me and like im sure he's precame while dry-humping and such..but without his penis inside of me and cum coming out theres no way i can get pregnant, right? :) thank you.

Yeah, if it is always late, then you prolly just have irregular periods. Start writing it down if you don't yet, sometimes they shift depending on who you are around and how long you have been having them.

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16/f..i have a boyfriend..we've been together for almost 3 months..and he says I'm the "only one" yet..he flirts with girls in my face..acting like nothing is wrong when he talks to me after! he changed his myspace status to "single" but he still treats me the same..(like his gf) idk what's going on. whenever i walk by with him..holding his hand..if he sees a girl that he knows..she'll obnoxiously walk over to him..(as if not noticing I'm there) and go..Jimmy(not his name lol)!!!! HEY BOO! And she'll give him a greeting kiss..I won't respond to it..I'll pretend it never happened..though I'm a bit hurt inside. He talks about how hot girls are sometimes...though limiting that subject of conversation when I'm around. Whenever we talk..he doesn't sincerely admit how he feels about me..It's all physical. He talks about watching porn. Something you wouldn't do when you're around your girlfriend. It's as if he has NO regard towards my feelings..as if I'm SUPPOSED to hear that from him and stand it. This is my first boyfriend..so I'm not entirely sure. I'm not one of those people to speak when something is bothering them, so I'll keep it in. I didn't confront him about the comments he sends to girls on myspace..or his status. Or any of that. His ex-girlfriends also give me weird stares..and glances. I just want to know..In your opinion..do you think I'm just a make-out buddy for him? 3 months seems long enough to grow up..And he's my age, so he should at least TRY to act normally. I know I'll never be able to confront him..I'm too scared. He gets mad when I do that..and he might break up with me, lowering my already lowered confidence...
What can I do?

If you allow a guy to disrespect you and still get some action (and action doesn't have to be sex, it could be kissing holding hands fingering whatever) if you allow him to straight disrespect you like that and still give him action...he is going to do it. People will only treat you the way you allow your self to be treated. You gotta know you are worth it, you gotta be proud of who you are. That needs to happen aside from a guy. Cuase anyone that you think is "giving" you self confidence can easily take it away and then what? You gotta give you self, self confidence and then you gotta say hey...i can't make you be good to me, but what i can do is find another dude that will be good to me naturally. Feel me? So I say deal with his bullcrap as long as you need to, for you to learn whatever it is that this life lesson is teaching you, and then move on. Don't sit around waiting for him to dump you. Dump his behind. Say you know what...Infact! next time you see him kiss another girl infront of you, say you know what, since you like kissing on her so much go be her boyfriend and then keep it stepping. And most of all...MOST OF ALL! DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK NO MATTER WHAT. He will take this as a sign of weakness. He will say well all i have to do is be nice for a while and she will take me back every time and i can just keep on treating her like crap. I would just free myself up for a better dude.
Peace.

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some people tell me if a guy shaves his pubes he must be gay
well my boyfriend shaves down there
and trust me, hes not gay
so is it just a stupid thing people say?

Yeah...that isn't gay. i know a lot of straight guys that shave down there just cause it keeps them cleaner. i know muslim men that shave down there cause their koran says that they gotta keep shaven or something.
Peace

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Never in my life will I do this again.

I'm making a very long story short.
-i needed a ride home from a party
-friend said he could and wanted to hang out anyways
-got n car @ 2am. Said I had 2 b home at 230
-we didn't kno where to go... drove around to big houses n hills
-i said to turn around. He finally did.
>turned off engine.
>grabbed me ( you know when u watch movies and the girl gets raped? Well I always think, 'o why doesn't she jus play it off so he doesn't get mad?' well I did!) tried to kiss me I kissed him back after saying no.
>shoved my hand on his thing through his pants.
>shoved his hand on my private part.
[This still occured even though I kept saying NO. He kept saying ITS OK.]
>finally stopped n kept drivin
-drives a different way to this place to view the city.
-pulls over.
>grabs me across his lap, puts his tonge down my throat.
>tried to get up. He pulled me back down. And tried to kiss me again. I finally got up & said we gotta go home!
-on ride home we act like nothing happened.
-drops me off. Done.

I don't know if I should tell him how I feel? Ignore it? Act like it never happend?
I never want to see him again. But I have to because we go to the same school.

I'm not that type of girl AT all. I'm a virgin, but most people don't think so. Maybe he didn't? I can't believe he thought I would do that. I can't believe he did that to me.

well I mean that is kind of an awkward situation that you were in. First of all, i know it sounds like a good idea to play it off, but what that actually does is make you seem like a tease. Basically you are sending mixed messages. If you do not want it then say I am not interested in kissing. If you feel really uncomfortable and you think he might try something but you are not sure, i suggest that you inconspicuosly unlock your door and get your phone ready in your hand. this way if you need to jump out of the car you can. Most of the time though just being firm and having your actions fit what you are saying is enough. Be like respect my wishes dude. As to wether you should talk to him about it or not, i say if you feel it strong enough then you should. Call him off to the side in PERSON and say you know, i know you wanted to go a little further than i did and i just want you to know that i didn't feel comfortable, i know it probably seemed like i was giving you mixed messages but i didn't really know what to do in that situation. if he is a gentleman then you will be able to resolve it and who knows maybe you and him will be able to be friends. if you like him hey maybe something will work out, he will just know that you like to take it slow. I can't tell you about girls that get rapped. Cause i think every situation is different. What you described just there just seemed to me like he is a take charge kind of guy and probably just wasn't sure if you wanted it, didn't want it, or were playing hard to get. I mean i don't know, i wasn't there to read his expressions you know. You gotta know how you felt. If he has been a good dude up until then, I would talk it out with him. He probably didn't mean any harm. He just got caried away. You gotta be the judge though.
Peace.

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So, this question is gonna sound really, really stupid but I'm desparate for an answer. I'm a sophmore in high school and about a year ago, I stopped being friends with my best friend and when that happened I didn't have that many friends and still only have a couple. I really wanna start hanging out with people but i just don't know how to ask. I've gone on sites that had examples of what you should say when you are socializing but its all really corny stuff that people my age would never say. This is such a dumb question but when you start hanging out with someone for the first time (not dating, just friendship)how does it all work out? Do you just say, "wanna hang out" and stuff like that? Do you go in groups? Do you call them or ask them in school, or ask them online? I wanna ask people but I don't no how I should do it. If you could give me exact examples of what you say or dialogues that would be great. I'd also prefer it if people like my age could answer (like in high school or whatever). Any other advice would be great. Thanks so much!

Well I mean it's not a stupid question but you do gotta ask. I mean wanna hang out doesn't sound corny to me. I mean you know you are just talking about stuff and you just like throw it in there. You wanna do something this weekend? You wanna go see that new movie? You wanna grab some food this weekend? Let's go bowling this weekend. you know stuff like that. Just kind of maybe like, you say hey did you see that ad for that movie 10,000 bc? it looks hot. do you wanna go see it with me? that would be cool.
you know something like that. :) if they say i cant do it this weekend, don't feel discouraged. just be like ok, well we should hang out it would be fun. Then you know if they seem stank or something then just don't push it anymore, if they seem cool then just bring it up again like in another week. If they are cool then eventually they will set a date or they will bring it up to you. If not move on to someone else. But you know it helps to have something in mind that you want to do or like to do.
Peace

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recently i've had sensitive nipples and i know that its a sign of early pregnancy but that is highly unlikely because my boyfriend has never ejaculated inside of me and i don't want to drive myself crazy thinking i'm pregnant. i also saw online its possible that its just a sign of getting your period soon. i should be getting period in a weekish, but i've never had this symptom before. could this just be a new symptom of pre-period? thanks!

Yes, it very well could be a sign of this. Especially if you have been hanging out with a new group of women. I find, and many other women find, that when a group of women start hanging out together, they start to get the period at the same time, get the same signs. I didn't used to get pimples and then I went to live with someone and they would get pimples and I started getting it too and one roomate had sore breasts and now I have both. One time at college we had like 15 20 women in one class and by the end of the semester we were all on our period within the same 2 weeks. The body is intersting like that. But yeah. It will be hard to take the bra off and you may find your self getting abnormally horny too and this is part of it too. Peace

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OK i have this friend.. And i want my hair like her hair. Her hair is blond. mine is brown. i wanna keep brown but i want her style.
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=20196991&albumID=73628&imageID=18913249
Its kinda diffrent now she just doesnt have a geed pic o her hair stright. its like thinner on the bottom to. i dont know how to explain it.
maybe layers but its not like layers i dont know.

I dont know if it would look right on my hair. Cause her hair is thin and mine is thick.
OK this is what my hair looks like.
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=93545057&albumID=1720782&imageID=21286057

Will this work?
And If it will what do i tell the hair dresser?
i have no idea.. =/
and if that does not what about this?

http://photobucket.com/mediadetail/?media=http%3A%2F%2Fi260.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fii12%2Fjay-zed%2Fhair.jpg&searchTerm=hair&pageOffset=13

I LOVE THE BANGS. ok but NOT THAT SHORT. like my length but that? would that look weird.. ok what about my friends hair with those bangs.
im sorry if this is alot i just really have no idea what looks right.
can you help?

I will reiterate, this profile is set to private and you cannot look at the picture. What you should do is, copy the picture and maybe try to post it in here? Or maybe you could copy the picture to your myspace page and put it as your main picture...because you are not allowed to look at the other pictures unless you are a member...and this way people will be able to see it in that little default picture box. Of course if your are set to private you will have to undue that...and remember too that only myspace members will be able to answer this question. Do you think you could find a model with the same hair style and do a link to that? Just some ideas...
peace

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i love sushi, and always thought it was good for me. The thing is, this article says the complete opposite. should i stop eating sushi, or should i just be a bit more careful:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/dietfitness.html?in_article_id=381958&in_page_id=1798&in_a_source

You know what...If you listen to these types of articles that just sum everything up, you will never eat anything. To these kinds of people, everything will give you cancer. The way our enviornment is, if you go out in the air too long and breathe you could get cancer, and if you stay in and breathe too long, you could get carbon monoxide poisioning. You feel me? This is what you do. When you eat... pray or thank your body or whoever you want to thank before you put it in your mouth. Ask God or the Universe or Your body to let you know within one bite whether you should keep eating it or not. If your body gives you the sign that it is ok to keep eating it. Cary on, if not, order something else. This is what I do. I have eatin things that are old and have been left out, I prayed first and my body said it was fine and I didn't get food poisioning. I have friends that go out to eat and order FRESH and come home with food poisioning. You feel me? :) It is all about you and your body. Connecting with your self. There was some poisioning in the spinish here in Michigan, and for a while I wasn't going to eat spinish anymore, and then I was like you know what hahaha this is stupid. I'll end up starving my self trying not to die or get cancer. Well what's the better of the evils? Pray, eat, drink, and be merry!
Peace

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I hope you got my message this time. I sent it from Gmail. Let me know as soon as you get it, even if you haven't read the body of the message yet. Thanks!

yup I did

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you answered a question about shaving "down there" and you mentioned something about shaving "low"

can you explain to me what that means

Well what I do is, I take some sizzors, and I grip the hair while I am sitting on the toilet or in the bath tub, and I clip as close to the hair as I can. Something that my boyfriend introduced me to that works even better!...is called an eletric razor. Now it tickles a little bit and you may need to be infront of a mirror, but that get's you a really nice clean low cut shave down there. It doesn't hurt and it looks a lot more even and nice. :) It sure is a lot better than using nair hahaha.
Peace

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I am from Pakistan

Dear Sir,

First I Masturbate quite often, but when I had a UTI (unknown reason, don’t have sexual reason), I left it. I took antibiotics which doctor suggested me. Now I don’t have infection but whenever I got erection or masturbate I feel burning in my penis. If I left masturbation and try to avoid erection then I feel quite comfortable for a long unless I got again an erection. I don’t know why I feel burning in my penis.

How I can solve this problem permanently and have proper erection without any burning later or at the time of erection.

Please help me out.

Thanks

Regards

Faisal Altaf
I am from Pakistan

Ummm well first of all I'm a woman :) hahaha nice to meet you. Also you do not have to give your name on here if you do not want to. It is anonymous, which means you can keep your name priveate. Also, I really do not know what to tell you, I more know advice about like how to make your sex life better or how to have a sex life period. What I can tell you is this...If the doctor said that all is well and you do not have an infection anymore, I would just take a cleanser. A cleanser is something like a tea or an herb that you drink or eat that allows your body to clean it's self of all toxins and then you bowl movement it out. This is great for the body and should be done at least once a month. There are many things you can take like a colon cleanser, senna pod, they have one that is made with dandelion root. Go to your health food store and tell them that you want a colon and blood cleanser. I would say take it for about a week to 2 weeks like every other day and then see how your body feels after that. You may just have some left over toxins that need to come out. Hope this helps. Peace.

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When you get older and have sex do guys prefer for you to shave down "there" ive been wonderin for a while just wanted to kno

It totally depends on the guy. I have had guys tell me to shave it all off, I have had some that only wanted me to keep it slightly trimmed. I have had some that didn't want it all off but wanted it really low. I have had some that didn't care as long as it wasn't engulfing my entire body hahaha Also depends on you, what do you like? That is the real question cause you gotta keep it up. I say try it a few ways. I find that i am hornier and enjoy sex more when it is low. I would try each one and see how they all make you feel. you know take it like a month at a time.
peace

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I have a problem. I am not anorexic or bulimic, I have never gone a day without eating, and I usually eat 1000-3000 calories a day. I am 5'7" and 131 pounds. My problem is that I think I am very chubby even if everyone says I am not. I obsess over calories and weigh myself a few times a day. I get so depressed if I feel I eat too much and hate the feeling of my stomach being full. I eat very very healthy and exercise regularly. My mother and my sister both have eating disorders. I would never starve myself, but I am so sick of thinking about calories all day and pinching my fat spots and making sure I can still feel my hips. I guess my question is how can I stop obsessing and be normal and eat without hating myself? thanks

I just want to say that I was going to say the same thing. I know sometimes that kind of stuff sounds corny and I didn't want you to just brush off what the previous girl said. My weight used to go up and down and up and down. When I was "fat" guys said I was too big, when I was "small" guys said I didn't have enough ass. Nothing was ever good enough. My family always said I wasn't small enough yet. I would be perfect til I was 36-24-36. I just said you know what, who cares what they think. I am short and thick and i am the happiest with my weight that I have ever been. I am not exactly where I want to be, but I am happy with my self and I know at the right time I will lose weight, just like I have before. But No matter where I am, I am happy with my self. I am good enonugh and this is what you have to say to your self. Other wise you will never be satisfied. :) Peace

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hi
so i shaved down there, all of it
is it supposed to grow back in like 2 days?
and i have all these bumps that look like pimples or something from shaving, is that normal? how do i not get them?

Yeah, it sounds like razor bumps to me. What I do is i clip down there with sizzors. This way it is low but not all the way down. I used to shave but it would always itch and then it would grow back more and thicker. I think if you really want it like bald you should get a bikini wax if you can. That is about all I can tell you. You could nair, but you have to be really careful cause if it gets "inside" it will burn like heck. I don't think all of it will grow back so soon, but then every body is different. I think it should take at least a week for the whole thing to grow back. That is unless you were making more of a statement than a question. Did yours grow back in 2 days? If so maybe you just have fast growing hair. I hear that with waxing it takes like 2-3 months for it to grow back. Hope this helps.
Peace.

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i have a lot of acne on my face and back.
ive tried lots of different types of acne cleaners, but it seems to only cause scarring on my face, and then i get more zits.
whats a fast working product that doesnt cause scarring?
and how might i get rid of the scars that i have now
pleaseee help!! thanks!

There is a vitamin called Shark Cartilage that they sell I think at GNC or the Vitamin Shoppe. If you can get this and start taking it, loyaly, it will clear it up. You have to take it for more than a few days. I knew someone who had aweful acne and no one thought he was cute and he couldn't get dates all that bull shit cause people can't see beyond surface flaws...He started taking this shark cartilage that a woman who sold vitamins gave him and within a few months they were gone.
As to the scaring, if you can get some Shea Butter...I recomend this to almost every one. NON Scented all natural right out of the nut from like an African store or like Rastafarian store or an all natural food store (maybe they will have it, sometimes they do) Put this on your face every day. 2 times a day if you can, this will not only make your skin soft and beautiful, it will even out skin tone. I know this first hand cause someone very close to me put it on everyday for 6 months while I was away and the scars they had on their face were gone when I saw them again. Hope this info helps. Peace

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i hate how just b/c i am labeled at school that i also get a rep of drinking and that i am automatically snobby. especially when people dont even know me. i mean, my friends who drink obviously know that i dont. but some (sorry for the crude language) "weirdos" at my school just assume that i do too and it really bothers me.

Hmmm. That's ok. I got it in my inbox today and so maybe it was an error or something. Anyway, I supose I will go ahead and give you some advice. The age old saying is: Show me your friends, I'll show you your self. Now this is true to some degree and then untrue to some degree. This does not mean that if your friends drink you drink too, but if they are sad/depressed/ exibiting negative behaviors, and you are not, then you have to ask your self, what is it about them that is drawing you all together. As you may or may not know, unlike magnets, when it comes to energy, like attracts like. So, if you and them are similar in more ways than different, and they are positive things, then you will probably last as friends and this is what you should focus on and Screw what anyone else thinks. If there are more negatives though, then you have to ask your self, do you want to be around people that are not an aset to your life. If though, you are growing and more positive than they are, then eventually they will be drawn away from you. It is sad, but it will happen. So it is really a judgement call on your part. If they are respectful to your family and to your other friends and mostly to you, then I see no reason why you shouldn't hang out with them. If they are responsible about the choices they make, then I see no reason why you shouldn't be friends. If people want to judge you, then let them judge. That is their poragitive. Just know who you are. Make your own choices and don't let the oppinions of others who don't even know them effect you. Something else you have to remember, is that no matter who you are, how "cool" you are or how "lame" you are, there will always be haters, people will always be there to lable. It is up to you to be the change you want to see in the world. If you don't like to be labled, don't like to be judged, do you best not to do it to other people. Feel me? While you are doing your best not to do it to others, realize too that it is ok, that is the immaturity in them, that is the ignorance in them, which we all have at some point. It is ok cause sooner or later people grow out of it, some just take longer than others. Forgive and be true to your self.
Hope this makes things better. Peace.

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okay on the show Paranormal State,
is all that true?
are ghosts really real??

Yes they are...don't have a lot of time to answer, but check out the New Age section at your book store, Borders or Barnes and Nobles. I know people who have seen them, especially after someone close to them passes away. Peace

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Hi. Im 14/f and this Friday im having a few people (like 10 or so) over for a small party celebrating me and my best friends one year of friendship. (I know it sounds really gay but its a good way to get everyone together on the March Break) The only way I can have this is if I pay for all the food and movies and such. I was wonderring what would be some cheap snack ideas that would also be filling enough, as well as what would be a good idea for dinner. I will have about 100$ in total after my next paycheck which is Thursday. Also we want movies that will really scare us, like ones that make you jump the whole way through. Any good scary movie would be great (not really the Saw movies because they are just gore, no real scary features).

I would greatly appreiciate if someone gave me advice for any of these questions or even other ideas like fun things we could do. Thanks alot

I personally think you should ask people to pitch in. You know like if you are going to come, bring something you would like to eat. We did this a lot in college, this way you don't have to worry about people complaining about what you have to eat, cause there will be at least one thing there that they like, and you know that you are going to at least have enough food for everyone there. If you check the sale paper, for like Kroger and Meijer and KMart, a lot of times they are having sales where you can get a 2 liter of soda for like 1. I just went there the other night (K Mart) and they are having a sale until Saturday where you can get coke 10 for $10 it is a great deal- of course you can just get one and it will only be $1. Also, If you have a Dollar Tree in your neighborhood EVERYTHING THERE IS $1. So you can find plastic plates and cups and snacks and soda and stuff and it is all $1 each. As for the movies, I think you should first try to ask around and see if you have any friends that are movie buffs that wouldn't mind lending you like 4 or 5 for the night. If you do your research you should be able to find at least 1 friend or friend of a friend that is a movie buff. Or you can see if anyone you know has Netflix that wouldn't mind letting you get some through them just for the party. You can always buy the soda in advance and put it in the cupboard and it will be fine until the day of the party as long as you don't open it. Also...Popcorn! You get soooo much in a pack and they are not that expensive. You can get that kind of stuff at the dollar store and it is good too. What I would do too is ask around to like family and stuff and see if they have some food they bought that they haven't eaten yet or maybe they started a diet and they can't eat it, and see if they will hook it for you. I.E. maybe they have like a few cans of coke that they don't want or maybe they have a few packs of popcorn they haven't used, or maybe they have a full box and they won't mind giving you like 1 or 2. Now you can get Sour Cream and chives from the fridge section instead of getting the "Sour Cream Dip" and that will save you like 2 or 3 dollars cause they charge you like 3 or 4 dollars for the Dip and they only charge you like 79 cents or maybe 1 or 1.50 for the sour cream with chives and that makes a GREAT dip! Now if you want me to tell you how to make a great bean dip:
Take some Kidney Beans (1 can)
Salsa/Marinara sauce (about 1 cup)
cook all that up on the stove and MIX IT WITH SHREADED CHEESE...OH MY GOD! but make sure that you don't put the shreaded cheese in until you turn the fire off and then mix it, the heat will melt it and this will make a really tasty cheese bean dip. The best thing to do is season it, but you know just do that to taste. Maybe a little salt and peper and if you want to get fancy then do it. Now that is going to make you a nice size dip like a good bowl full maybe 2 bowls if they are medium size, and it will only cost you about (shreaded cheese 8 oz on sale at 2 for $4 =$2 and the beans maybe like $2/3 and the Salsa/marinara on sale 2 or 3$ and regular price $3 or 4...so like 7-10ish). Ok now I know this will help hahaha Peace.

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my legs, hands, and face have a very uneven skin tone and are very splotchy (especially my legs) it looks horrible when i wear shorts or capris, i want to have a good tan and even skin tone by summer, so what can i do to even it out? i already put moisterizing cream on my legs almost every day. Anything else?
(specific brands please not just the name of it like "Dove" because theres like a billion things)
Thanks:)

if you can get some all natural Shea Butter, like right out of the nut...this will be great for your skin. It will even you out, I have seen it work for many people. But you have to put it on every day maybe even twice a day. You can get it at an African Store or an all natural store should sell it too. Peace

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