about



I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.

I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.












advice

my boyfriend of 2yrs has cheated on me and left me.he is a psycho and doesnt want to even admitt his guilt and make it upto me though he claims to love me even now.im dying without him here?how do i deal with this situation?.



While it most certainly isn't cool to cheat on someone, Why the hell would you even want him to try and make it up too you?! The guy went and slept with someone else.....Taking him back is only tell the guy what he did was okay and it's not nor should it be.


Here you are calling him a psycho but you want him to somehow sympathize and make it up too you? Now how do you handle the situation? You dump him and move on. Break ups suck but you don't deserve to be with someone who isn't going to treat you the way you should be treated. The guy does not deserve you, If he cheated 9 times out of 10 he'll likely do it again especially if he knows he got away with it. The best way to really get over someone the fast and least painful way is to cut contact with that person. Don't text, Facebook, IM notta. Except that he isn't good enough for you and try to meet someone who will value your relationship, Don't go crawling back to the loser and most definitely do not show him that you are that insecure which you are not.

[view]

A teammate thinks she runs the show. She will not run the offense. Instead she will take the ball and play with multiple defenders on her. She will not listen when people tell her to run the offense. She is a post way bigger than all other players and should be scoring at the block. I am only a sophomore on varsity and I want the best for the team. Without risking a loss for the team, What are some ways we can get our selfish teammate to be more of a team player?



I played on a basketball team also for 4 years, We've had our fair share of ball hoggers too.

The best thing you can do is to have the team sit down and discuss team work, Ensure the team that they are on the court to play a game as a team. You cannot win or play if someone wants it to be a one man game. Sometimes although as much as we try to get a point across it doesn't always work out and people don't always want to play fair. If this is really the case you may need to find a replacement. If one man lets themselves down.....They let the entire team down too.

[view]

I started my birth control again, in December. I had sex,(unprotected) that whole month. I was suppose to start my period on Christmas..but nothing came. I had one spot of red/brown color on my underwear. Now I'm having cramps, and lower back pain, I'm tired all the time, and my breasts are larger and hurt really bad. Do you think it's possible I'm pregnant?



None of us here can tell you if you are pregnant or not. The only way to get a guaranteed answer is to take a test. We are an advice site, Not a pregnancy test

[view]

Can you get pregnant with without a guy just urself?



No, The only way to become pregnant is if you had intercourse or if sperm has contact with the vaginal area. You cannot get pregnant on your own.

1, You are a virgin until you've had sexual intercourse


2, You cannot get pregnant by self masturbation



[view]

please im goin to have sex today and i need to know how to put a condom!!



If you don't know how to put on a condom, Then I don't think you should be having sex.

[view]

Ive been in a serious relationship for a year now. We are both in love we've talked about marriage in the future and recently i have just moved in. He will go out of his way for me, lend me his car if mine isnt working, he tells me he loves me everyday, buy me anything i want. I know he cares about me and i care about him. However, it seems that lately he hasn't been as affectionate and will even push me away if i go to hold his hand or to lay my head on his shoulder. In the past i have found things on his phone and computer of him contacting his exes and even jobs in the adult film industry. He said the exes he was just being friendly an he would stop bc it was wrong. When i confronted him he said he wanted to do porn years ago but not anymore and people still contact him about it. he also claims even though he responds it means nothing. So i trusted him until i recently found another email and hes been looking up his ex on facebook. I want to trust him but it seems like this is a never ending cycle. Am I overreacting? What should i do?



Sounds like he is loosing interest in your relationship

If someone is looking up their exes, Likely they aren't completely over their exes in the first place. If he is in a meaningful relationship with you and is happy with you, Then there should be no reason for him to even want to go crawling back to see how his exes are doing.

The porn, I don't know what to say on that one but personally if someone I was dating wanted to enter the porn business I think I'd be a bit concerned, Sounds to me your boyfriend is beating around the bush.

If he can't be truthful to you, Then your relationship isn't going to work. This guy has already proved to you once before that he can't be trusted. His lies are leaving you only more and more insecure and paranoid which you have every right to be. If I were in your shoes, I would start to think the relationship is at the end of your ropes and move on. A year is a bit long for someone to be lead on while the other keeps looking up their exes on facebook and after a second time around I'd start to think he's nothing but a joke. Find someone that appreciates your relationship and won't take you for granted.

[view]

We just called most of our local vets, and hey said don't bother till tomorrow. But my cat is walking unstable, and he is drooling everywhere, and he acts as though he has to regurgitate. But nothing comes out just bubbles, i am worried crying. Stroke maybe? His pupils are also not the same in size.




How old is your cat? You left out the most important information.


My cat passed a year ago. If he/she is walking unstable, Mouth opened, Drooling, Breathing heavy...I hate to tell you these are symptoms of a stroke.

However, I could very well be wrong as I am not a vet. It could be possible she/he has heart failure, heart attack etc. The best thing you can do for your cat is to stay by him and call the vet first thing in the morning....


Best wishes :(

[view]

I know you may think this is not a seriuos question,but as I'm a little confused,I'd like to know what you people think about this,well,I like to give my bf presents all the time and not only on special ocassions,I'm practically thinking about what to give him every single day,of course he always says thanks but I know he does not want to hurt my feelings lol:)what do you advicenators think?????:)

While receiving gifts from time to time is a nice gesture, Constantly giving someone gifts all the time can get quiet annoying after awhile.

In some eyes getting a gift all the time would become a bit much and excessive. Now in my point of my view while I most certainly appreciate gifts on special occasions if someone got me something all the time depending on the person I might start to think they were needy or I might even start to think it's some type of bribe.

If you love your boyfriend then appreciate him in other ways. Cook dinner for him, Go out for walks, Snow tubing etc. You shouldn't have to show that you care about him buy smothering him with gifts. Save that for the special occasions

[view]

I have been dating my boyfriend for about six months. He and I have a very stable relationship, full of happiness and trust and good chemistry. He is my best friend and I couldn't ask for anything more.

We have sex about every week.
Today, we were babysitting, and we were just chilling, watching movies and taking naps. We babysat from 12 until 8, and then the baby went to sleep. My mother came home and said, "You and Josh (my boyfriend) better not be doing anything bad when you're home all alone." I just stared at my computer. "I'm going to set up an appointment for the gynecologist." I could feel my face turn red with embarrassment and shame. I was about to cry but I bit my lip and turned up my music. She said that she wanted to check my health and such, but I know it is for more reasons than that. The first time I had sex two years ago, she found out, and she blew her top. She took me to therapy and labeled me as a slut, took my phone and internet away for four months. She took a long time to trust me again.

I am so upset right now. I feel so ashamed. But at the same time, I am old enough to be responsible about sex. I stay protected and I never take chances. I'm never forced to do anything I don't want to do by my boyfriend, I always do these things by choice. Do you agree with me? I am very mature and I think it's wrong to punish me for doing a natural, human thing. As long as I'm responsible, it doesn't matter. I've only had sex once before my boyfriend, but it was only a decision I regret. My boyfriend and I have sex often, but we don't do much besides foreplay, but it's never pressured.

I am scared as hell. She's going to beat the living shit out of me if she finds out. I've never been to a gynecologist before, and I am terrified that somehow the doctor will have a way to know if I have had sex or not. I am so upset right now, I am crying as I am typing this. She'll try to take me away from my boyfriend and she will never have trust in me ever again. I'm torn apart, but I think it is unfair. I need help. Please answer respectfully, I don't want any lectures about my activities, this is my life.

I just want to be informed about gynecologist appointments, what they do, if they could tell if I've had sex or not, and what I should do about my mother and my predicament. Many thanks.



If you are over the age 14, You can legally see a doctor without your mother being in the room. Also, You have patient privacy meaning by law your doctor cannot tell your mother anything without your consent.

There is a law called HIPAA which stands for

Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act

You can read up more information about this here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Information_privacy_law

Your mother cannot be told anything without your permission. However despite her knowing or not I encourage you to continue with the precautions.

[view]

Hey there!(: So Me and my friend are trying to geth this boys number in 6th grade. We both think he is really hot, but we only want to talk to him! Well I have a best friend in 6th grade thats been trying to get it. First he told the boy that he knew two 8th graders who liked him and he said "cool" then, I came up with idea for my friend to get his number, and so my friend asked him and then the boy said "ya sure" to my friend then at the end of the day I asked my friend if he had the boys number and my friend said no he has to know who it is first. Well i've been trying to get in touch with the boy but I never can find him, Do you know any other way I can get it? I need it reallly bad for when my friend spends the night with me we really wanna text him! I even got my sixth grade friend to ask one of the boys best friends for his number and my friend said the guy wouldnt answer! So please help me and give me ideas!! thanks(:




Just ask him? Why does your friend have to do it for you? If you are the one that wants to talk to him then do it yourself. Some guys find it a turn off when the girl has to have their friends go crawling to them for information.....


Also, If he doesn't want to give out his number to you then obviously he isn't very interested

[view]

Soo i am 16years old and i have a boyfriend and he doesnt want people to know that im going out with him and he said it is becuase he does not like people knowing who he is going out with and i dont know if that is the real resean but i dont know how to ask him or know if it ia really true ?What can i do ?



If he isn't willing to be open, Then don't date him.


A relationship is about 90% more difficult if you try to keep it behind closed doors. A relationship should be about being able to freely express yourselves. Is he embarrassed, Ashamed? Even if these are the reasons "hiding" a relationship is stressful and overwhelming.

You want to be able to go out and have a good time together, Hang with friends maybe even a group etc. How the hell can you do that if you can't be open with your relationship? If the guy wants to be immature and paranoid then let him but find someone else who isn't ashamed of your relationship.

[view]

i first felt i am different when i was about 7 years old. it was after watching a play in which transgender actors played the female parts.few years later i started using my sister's nail polish but i never crossdressed at that time. and when i was 12 i used to admire female breasts and always wanted to have breasts like them. by thetime i was 17 i discovered a lot about transgenderism through internet and i started crossdressing in secret. those days i always entertained the thought of running away from home and joining some transgender group. i still crossdress in secret and now i'm 23 years old. my penis is very small and i always want to have breasts. i always masturbate thinking of myself as female and i get really turn on wearing female clothes. i feel more comfortable in female clothes and make-up.i'm attracted to other transexuals. i want to express my feminine side fully. tell me what to do. do you think i should transiton from male to female. do you think i should take female hormones and come out in public as a transexual.



You can do and be whatever you want to be.

The thing about hormone pills is it can get expensive, I'm not sure the cost of the medication but the surgery is a few thousand dollars.

If you want to cross dress, I don't see anything wrong with it. You are your own person, As long as it isn't harm to yourself or anyone else then why the hell not?

[view]

Im a pastor and I have been married 19years but I started an emotional relationship as well as a sexual relationship with a young lady that I have been knowing quite somtime shes younger shes a member of my church and she has bee so supportive of my ministry and I feel as if I need 2 make a decision because I would 2 be with this younglady I ask my wife was she happy and she didnt answer me me and my wife dont even have sex Im still in the marriage for my kids but the affair has been going on for a year next month I just really see this younglady not being apart of my life I depend on her so much.help me! Im a 42 yr.old male


You need to make a choice


However just to remind you, Nobody is entitled to stay in a marriage they are no longer happy in. The biggest mistake many people make nowadays is sacrificing their happiness in a marriage because their are children involved.

If there is no love in a marriage, Why are you in the marriage? The whole point in being a parent is to set an example for your children. What kind of example is it setting if you are no longer in love with your wife?....

You did not give the age of this young lady, Is this young lady in the age range 18-25?

Despite age, You need to keep in mind no matter the age of someone much younger than you, They will never be were you are in life while someone in their early 20's is not.

If you are not happy in your marriage then I would recommend giving marriage counseling a try as this is usually the last straw before filing for divorce. If your children are an issue then if you and your wife decide to split you can file for joint custody.

Having an affair is of course wrong, You need to decide whether your marriage is worth saving. If not then discuss with your wife the next route you two should take.

In the meantime it may be best if you didn't get your children involved in a new relationship for at least a 3 months or so, Children don't generally adjust well to these type of things. It wouldn't be fair to them to get attached to someone that may not work out....

[view]

Ok so I hav a fb and I used to get bullied by my ex-friends on aim so when I got it I was told not to friend them. Two of these mean girls requested me and I want to say no but my parents said not to press anything! I really want to say no



If someone is bullying you then DO NOT add them to facebook, Of course all they want is another route and another way to bully you more. If they friend you on facebook then decline the request and BLOCK them.

You can block someone by going to the "Home" in the upper right hand corner - Privacy settings- Block People


Once someone is on your block list they can no longer contact you. Whatever you do, Don't say anything back to them as that will only provoke them more. Decline and Block! Problem solved

[view]

can a girl get pregnant if a boy sperm fall on her ass but sex didnt take place





It is certainly possible, Sperm can leak and if semen has any sort of contact with the vagina then it is possible to become pregnant.

[view]

How does a guy know his not a virgin?




Once you've had sexual intercourse, You are no longer a virgin. This goes for both male/female

[view]

13/f
Theres this guy in my class whos been bullying me and harrassing me and I just can't take it anymore. Today he just went to far, he slapped my books out of my hands,kicked me twice, and told me i'm a b****. I hate what he puts me thruogh and i'm scared. What should I do. Please help me.



You tell an adult - Parent, Teacher, Counselor but you tell somebody.


You may be scared but what this kid is doing is wrong, You let an adult know what happened and you let them take care of it. These things can be solved but you need to let someone know asap.

[view]

Do you think it's wroung for an 8th grader to like a 6th grader? Me and. My friend both 8th like 2 boys who are in 6th and they're best friends do you think that's bad?




I would say it's fine but on the other hand you should bare in mind that the maturity level will be very different between the two of you.


Also, While most 8th graders are almost on their way to High School the 6th grader still has another 2 years. I wouldn't get yourself into something you know that it may not work out in the end......Keep a friendship and avoid getting hurt.

[view]

i'm a teenage girl and i'm looking for an someone besides a therapist that can help me with my emotional problems that are caused by my family. ive only trusted my best friend with this but when i ask her how i can get help or make a change she has no idea or just wait till u move out(thats years away!!!!!!). my family has a lot of secrets, they don't treat me very well, and they don't consider my feelings or how their actions affect me. i have no trust left for anyone, but if theres no other way i will try a therapist; ive gone before and they only made things worse. at school, while playing my instrument, and in general i have stress blocks that limit me a lot, increasing my frustration; i feel like attacking people but i never do.(i don't have anger issues). is there another way to ease the pain? i'm at my breaking point!!!!!!!!!!!!!




The truth? A therapist may be the only person that can properly help you. They are trained to listen and help people cope with their problems while your friend is not.

Sometimes it is okay to tell our friends little things that go on in our lives but to vent constantly will wear them out and drain the friendship. I am not saying you do or have done this but sometimes even the smallest things can lead to big things.

If you don't feel that the therapist is doing as much work as you would like to see then maybe you could making an arrangement with him to see a psychiatrist. Keep in mind, That in order to see a psychiatrist you will have to continuing your treatment with your therapist. The only way a therapist can do his/her job is if you ALLOW them too. If you don't talk to them then they cannot help you, That is what they are there for, It is there job to listen and help people. Don't burn your bridge until you know what's on the other side first.

[view]

Before I ask the question, I am 17 and the girl is 15. I met this girl the other day, and we hit it off immediately. All of our interests are the same, and we have identical senses of humor.

We were hanging out today watching a movie, when she suddenly hugged me, nuzzled her head in my chest, and then looked up at me. She said, "please don't push me off," lied down with her head in my lap, and fell asleep.

Or so I thought, but I think she might have been pretending. I put my hand on her upper back, because anywhere else could have been inappropriate, and then she rolled over so my hand was on her chest, and started gently and playfully nibbling my thigh while she was "asleep" and when I muttered something, she physically responded by biting a bit harder.

So, what do you think this means? Does it mean she likes me; does it mean she's trying to rush into something probably too fast; does it mean she's just the weird girl that I hit it off with so well and she's just already that comfortable that she fell asleep on me?



I 100% agree with Rahzie


On top of agreeing I am going to be just flat out blunt...

The girl is 15 years old and very immature. Sounds like she doesn't really respect herself enough to get to know you and value your friendship. Any girl that is trying to seduce someone hours after meeting the person is obviously someone who got some insecurity issues never mind lack of noggin. This behavior would concern me, If she tried to seduce me in a very forward manner not only would I probably tell her that she is being inappropriate but I would likely bolt as in my eyes that a bit of a red flag. Again, Like Rahzie said below she wasn't sleeping, She is just clumsy. Cut it off and meet someone who doesn't go off and draw the wrong attention on herself

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker