I'd say to have an adult or someone help you. I think if you do it alone you might be too nervous and something could happen.

So my best advice to you would be to call a friend or a family member that could help you. And if help from someone isn't available, then it'll probably be ok to do it yourself. Besides, if you don't learn to do it yourself, you'll never be able to just clip their nails when they need it.

-TheTeenGirl

[Hmmm, interesting how others here took you seriously too. Maybe instead of trying to look like a little girl you should just be maturre and ask the question instead of confusing people because this is an ADVICE COLUMN]





I don't even know why any of the moderators let this question in, but it is not anyone here's fault that you told a guy you liked him.

You sound like a little 12 year old insulting people who work pretty hard to help people through things like this. So you told a guy you liked him and he doesn't feel the same. Oh my God, your life is over. Guess what? It happens to EVERYONE. Sorry to be so rude, but I don't like the way that you insulted the people here who were trying to help you. If you don't like our advice, what are you doing asking here again? You don't deserve an answer here, so go find another site as good as ours, and good luck with that because you won't find one like this.

You did the right by breaking up with him in the first place. It sounds like he started to lose interest in the relationship and didn't even care to let you know, instead he just stopped acting as if you were his girlfriend. Then when you decide to break-up, he just says 'ok' and moves on with it. I think what you should have done was say, 'Hey, is there something going on because I noticed on our last date you weren't very touchy-feely with me' or something and he might have explained.

But it doesn't matter. What matters is the fact that he lost interest and it's over. The truth of the matter is that you and this guy may have been close friends before dating, but it probably won't ever be the same as what it used to be because of the things that you both just went through. After a break-up, you both have to go through this process where you have to take a long time apart to really get over each other. This process can take up to a year even if it was only a month relationship.

1. So your first step is to not ever beat yourself up for thinking about him or crying over him. Going through a break-up is very harsh on emotions and if you beat yourself up about it, then whose going to take care of you through this process? Your friends and family can really help you through tough times like these, but you are the only person who understands you best, so be your own best friend and let yourself cry over him.

2. Don't try to call him anymore. You want to shut off all contact with this guy in order to really get over him fastest and not feel all of the horrible feelings as much. If he has a screen name and is on your buddy list, take him off and block him. Even seeing his screen name or away messages can trigger these bad feelings. I know you're curious to see what new girl or hobbies he has going on in his life, but you matter more. You are going through a horrible time in your life where you need to keep track on yourself and nobody else. When you check up on him or try calling him, you are hurting yourself.

3. Keep busy and spend time with friends and family. You may feel like you want to be alone all of the time, and you can be alone by all means whenever you really need to, but you have to just get up and go out even if it hurts and you don't have fun because all you can think about is him. The more you get out and do other things, you'll likely have as bad of a day and as bad of a time. If you need to talk about it, go to your best friend or most trusted family member or anyone you feel comfortable with talking to. If you aren't really used to talking about things, go to someone who you think would understand the most.

4. Relax and don't be afraid to take time for you. Now is a great excuse for you to be selfish for a while. Spoil yourself by taking two hot baths a day and treating yourself to extra chocolate. Whatever makes you feel really good. Do you like writing poetry? If so, sit down for a few hours or type up a good poem to express the way you are dealing with this. Treat yourself as if you are really sick and you have to take extra care of yourself like anyone would.

And last, don't feel like you won't get someone as good as this person or better! You will get somebody who really likes you and wants to be apart of your life, and it may not be happening now, but it will. Besides, you have to take this time to have fun with your friends and flirt around with anyone you want to. And remember, each time you cry over him, don't think that you are getting worse. Each time that you do cry, you are a baby step closer to getting better.

I hope this helped and if you have anymore questions, please send me another inbox message.

-TheTeenGirl

I am very glad that you've learned to be open with the true facts about sex. The reason you are feeling as if it's overated is because you aren't sharing this with someone who you've been close with for a very long time.

But you are very right when you mention that you are making poor choices. When you don't use a condom, you are really playing with fire.

About the urges: Tell this guy you're having sex with that you want to stop. Now I know he will probably still come onto you and try with you, but thats where you have to come in and be strong. You need to just think about how much you want to turn these bad choices around and that if you say no, you'll know it's right because you aren't risking pregnancy young. There will always be times when you know that something isn't right and it's your job to be your own big sister and help yourself out by saying no. The urges may there, but it's normal, the important thing is how you respond to it.

-TheTeenGirl

I'm sorry but I have a different answer than everyone else. You have every right to let your boyfriend know that you are not comfortable with this and it has nothing to do with the fact that they have been friends, it's him going on a little trip with another female. It may be an innocent friendship, but it's not innocent to the girlfriend.

The only thing I see wrong with the way you're acting is that you get jumpy when you find out that he went somewhere and she showed up. That is where you have to deal with the fact that he has friendships with other girls.
They will see each other sometimes and they will talk sometimes.

I really don't know how long you and your boyfriend have been together, but you have to be upfront with your jealousy so that he can comfort and assure you that you are the girl that he would choose over any other girls. And he should be absolutely understanding of the fact that you don't want him to go on this trip with her. Besides, this friend of his will be just fine with her mom since it's her birthday. She just needs to celebrate and spend time with her mom instead of dragging your boyfriend with her.

Plus, this isn't something to discuss with his friend. This situation is between you and your boyfriend, and if you don't start confronting your feelings and jealousy then you'll find that he just won't understand your outbursts and sudden anger. He also will start to get upset that you aren't answering his phone calls. Ignoring the phone calls will not make you more comfortable or feeling better about what's going on.

-TheTeenGirl

I'm sorry, but you have to ignore these feelings no matter how much they are occuring.

Your job now is to stay as a family and take care of your child. I know it's hard to ignore feelings, but if you do need help sorting things out emotionally, then you should probably see a therapist or talk to a friend or family member about these feelings.

But you can't go off and marry your Ex and live happily ever after. This boyfriend you've got will always be in your life no matter how much it hurts. You have to start taking responsibilities and get ready to prepare a life under your care. You've got one of the most rewarding and yet hardest job of your life, and that is parenting. If you ever feel like you can't handle it, then don't be afraid to talk to someone and have a friend or family member watch the baby while you talk to someone or take a nap.

-TheTeenGirl

I'm glad that you aren't going to leave them hanging for an answer and you shouldn't.

Let me remind you that you don't have to choose right this second. You can tell these guys that you need some time for yourself to think your love life over a little. I think the reason you don't want to do that is because you think that they might run off and find someone else by the time you have made your choice.

Let's face the facts. You know that you are likely not choosing your future husband, so it won't matter which one you choose. Do your friends have an opinion about it? Ask a friend or a sibling and see what they think. I know it's hard for you to just choose, but try to make a list of the good and bad about each guy. If one guy does drugs or has a history of cheating, you should probably check him off. Try choosing a good guy that pretty good. I don't think you want a bad guy.

Do whatever you want that can keep them from holding on for you. If you still can'y seem to pick, then you'll probably have to ditch them both and take more time for yourself.

Thanks! If you have anymore questions, please write me back!

-TheTeenGirl

First of all, thank you for taking your time to ask me your question, I'd be glad to give you some guidance.

It seems to me that your relaionship is healthy and fine, but maybe it's going downhill a little bit because now it's become long distance. Long distance relationships are possible to get through and I don't want you to think that it's not, but you have to work at it. The both of you have to put in as much effort and energy you have 100% in this relationship.

About what other people are saying about your relationship being unhealthy, they are probably thinking this because it's long distance. They might think that your boyfriend might be out partying and cheating or something. Whatever the reason may be, ignore it unless it's something you might not have told me. (Any kind of abuse...)

What you should do is always stay in touch with your boyfriend when the opportunity comes. Talk about your feelings and what you've been up to. Don't let it be a conversation of just not saying anything. Keep the relationship running like it's normal course.

But more importanly you should stay active with your friends. Go out and have fun. Don't be afraid that he will call one night, you two will be able to talk.

I really hope I helped you in a way. Just send me another inbox for more questions!

-TheTeenGirl

I've never been in your situation, but I understand what you're trying to say. I think you might be right about you being obligated to stay with him because you were intimate with him. I think that if this guy were a guy you wanted to stay with, you probably wouldn't have too many of these down feelings about him. I mean you will have times where you'll question a guy, but if it's on a daily basis or once a week, then it's probably not right.

You also stated that you just got out of a relationship of 11 months. Do you know for sure that you're over this guy? It can be about 6 months from when you broke up with him and it would still be ok if you weren't over this guy. Getting over someone takes a lot of time for some people and it's normal. So if you find yourself still missing this 11 month relationship, you probably need more time.

You may have had sex with this boyfriend, and you may know that he'll be really upset if you break-up with him, but those aren't good enough reasons to stop you from breaking it off. Let this be a lesson for you: Remember to save sex for when you've been in the relationship for at least a year and it feels right. If you spend most of your relationships exploring sex, then you'll miss out on a lot of great things that should come before sex. I'm not trying to lecture you or tell you what to do, but as I friend I want you to know that theres a lot about relationships that you're missing out on.

About this Freshmen in college: I also want you to know as a friend that this guy is too old for you. I know you don't like that advice, but it's true. I really hate seeing young girls get hurt by guys who are way older. So please take my advice and don't consider him. You don't have to listen to me, but I've seen way too much happen to people and I don't think I could imagine what's happening with you.

Guys will come along by you, but your best bet is to find a guy around your age so that you'll have a lot more in common with them.

I know this wasn't an answer you were looking for, but I hope I made you see the same situation differently in good ways. Thanks.

-TheTeenGirl

I have to tell you that this girl has made a mistake by moving on to you right after a bad break-up. This girl is far from ready to date anyone else. I'm sorry but it's the absolute truth.

When people are getting out of a break-up, they jump in with new people as soon as possible to erase the pain they are feeling from the past relationship. I'm not saying that she doesn't really like you more than a friend, but she probably came to you to ease her pain of this past guy. Nobody in a 3-year relationship is ready to date again right after getting out of one.

What you have to do is accept the fact that she's not over this guy, and likely she'll be getting back with him. What you can do for yourself is to call things off between you both and move on. I know you are talking up a storm abot how much you love her, but two months? I think you'll be able to get out of this and you should while it's only lasted for so little time.

I know 100% for sure that you hate this answer, but take it from a girl who was in a two-year relationship and ended up in a break-up and who actually thought I was into someone else too.

-TheTeenGirl

I know how you're feeling about this right now. I can't tell you how sorry I am that you found out that he's moved on with someone else.

The important thing is that you stop worrying about his life and take care of yourself. You are in a lot of pain right now and that's all what should matter right now.

You and this Ex broke up a month ago and you expect yourself to be over him by now? It could take way longer than that to truly get over someone you felt deeply about. Don't have high expectations for yourself about this. The only high expectation that you need to set is to cut off all contact with him. As hard as it sounds, you have to do it to start feeling better. The more you talk to him, the harder it will be to get over him.

I think it's great that you acknowledge the fact that talking to him was a big mistake. At least you can learn from it and start moving on again.

The best thing to do during a break-up is to keep yourself busy. It's ok to take a few days off and mope around, but watch TV if a friend isn't with you to mope with. That brings me to another best thing. Friends and family. There is no greater gift than having the support of your friends and family to talk to and help you get through this. Again, do not expect yourself to be over him ever. It can take up to a year to get over someone, but I can promise you that it gets easier day by day. Even if you are crying everyday over him. You are a baby step closer to getting through it.

-TheTeenGirl

Don't you hate it when things seem to be going perfect but something always has to knock that over?

The best you can do with these rumors and lies is to let them drag. Don't mess with them, don't try to make things right by confronting them, let it go. What really matters in this situation is that you and your boyfriend are aware that these are lies and that you are in a small town full of gossiping.

People will always talk and try to say or do something that will ruin happiness between people, but you and your boyfriend have to be living proof that you won't let it happen. Relationships can be really hard to survive nasty rumors, but it can be done if you both talk about things as much as you can and be totally open with your lives so that you both can make it easier to trust each other. For example, if your boyfriend is working, ask him about who he works with and what kind of people they are. You don't have to run into any way personal business such as sex if you havn't taken it to that level.

If you and your boyfriend are serious and are thinking about a future together, talk to him about moving somewhere else in a few years and moving on with your life by starting over new. If you aren't serious yet, then this is probably not a big situation to deal with. Let this relationship just be you and him, not you, him and two guys. Let there be only two in this relationship.

-TheTeenGirl

I think you could be right about your friend having something serious or she could be a selfish person.

Whatever the situation is, I wouldn't try to talk to her or find out what's wrong. You should start reaching out to new friends or contact old friends and start over with other people. Is there an old friend that's around who you havn't contacted in a while? Don't be afraid to turn to other friends when one friend is not around for some reason.

About your best friend: When she starts getting rude and selfish, just say, "I think I'm going home now because the way you are acting right now is hurting our friendship" If she reacts rudly, just say goodbye and head home or somewhere else. That way, she'll know that you aren't tolerating her new behavior. If she starts threatening the friendship, just say, "That is your choice if you want to throw something that was once really great away." And then leave.

You have no idea what's really triggering her behaviors and suicidal thoughts, so until she comes to you and says sorry and explains herself, move on with your life.

Thank you for taking your time asking me your question. I hope this helped.

-TheTeenGirl

This might make you feel a little bit better, but the humiliation goes both ways. This situation is just as embarrassing for your mom as it is for you even though you may not think so.

You aren't overreacting with your humiliation. Let's face it: this is a really upsetting and embarrassing situation that nobody ever wants to experience, but it happened. I think anyone would react the way you are now. Crying, upset and feeling like it's enough humiliation to just no longer live, but it's not. You aren't the only one who has gone through this kind of situation. People get caught in bad situations, people walk in on wrong times. It's happened to other people.

Let's get to the facts that everyone else has mentioned: Watching porn and masterbating couldn't be more normal. We are human. We see sex as something really exciting and something real and pleasuring. How can we honestly not look at sex on the internet or let our curiousity go? It's how our bodies react to it. And all of those same things go for your mom. She was once curious of sex, she probably still has sex. We all want to experience it.

Now that we are past that: Try your best to play things with your mom as if nothing happened. If anything, she probably feels just as bad as you do and wants to kick it to the side too. The fact is that she'll always be your mom, she'll always love you no matter what moments she may see. Tons of bad moments will happen, but once time passes by, you learn to get over it or even forget about it. Do you remember any other times when you felt embarressed about something? Try to notice how those feelings of embarrassment have passed from that moment and they will from this one.

-TheTeenGirl

A lot of your answers will be different because there's really no right or wrong answer of whether you are ready or not. It comes down to opinions.

However, my opinion is that 15 isn't ready. Not only because you could likely suffer the consequences, but how do you know if you'll be with this guy forever? Honestly, could you ever imagine having sex with someone so young and then having to deal with a break-up? I'm not saying that you both won't end up together, but the chances are really unlikely.

I know your feelings for everything that's happening with your boyfriend. You feel really wonderful and in love and you want to get closer. Believe me, I can't understand your feelings any better. But sometimes these exciting and wonderful feelings take over us and convince us that the next step is ok to take.

Look: I'm not saying you should wait until you're married. Wait until you're older and more mature to handle the consequences and decisions that comes with sex. The way I see it, you aren't ready because you're asking us if you're ready. If you can't answer the question yourself, you've just answered it that you aren't ready.

None of this at all comes down to religion. It's about really thinking things over and taking care of yourself. I don't know how long you and your boyfriend have been together, but you really do have a lot more to learn about each other. Sometimes you think you've gotten to a point where you've done everything and now you have to start having sex because it's the next thing that comes in a relationship and that couldn't be farther from true. Just because you may be in a two or three year relationship with no sexual activity, it does not mean that you aren't close. Sex doesn't exactly bring you closer.

-TheTeenGirl

I'm not going to give you a typical answer that most girls will give you on here. I won't tell you that you're lucky you havn't dated and dealt with a break-up because that's something you want to experience.

What I'll tell you first is that you aren't a failure for it. You aren't a loser or anything less of girls who have dated and got their first kiss. Being 15 is an age where you really want to look into relationships, sex and everything good that really comes with boyfriends. You want to find romance and a guy who will really make you happy and make you feel like a beautiful person.

Second, you admit that you are overweight and pretty. There is honestly no greater gift than truly finding your beauty. If you can't love yourself, nobody else will be able to love you. Every girl has her insecurity here and there, but the important thing is to just try accepting it if it can't be undone or can't afford to fix it. If you can't afford to fix it or it's there forever, then it's meant to be there to make you the girl you are today.

Sometimes when we spend tons of time chasing after love and trying really hard to find it and can't seem to hold it or catch it, then you should wait until it comes after you. Make goals for your 10th grade year, not boy goals, grades and school activity goals. Was last year a drag keeping up with homework? Make a goal to stay caught up this year and work hard. Was there a lot of drama going on with your friends? Start over this year and make a goal to stay out of it. Is there a family crisis that's really got your family out of control? Do whatever you can to make sure you and your family is taken care of.

Whatever the goal may be, make sure it's a goal that's possible to achieve with hard work. If you really keep yourself busy, a lot of good and bad will come, but I'm sure the good will seem as worth your hard work. And that good might be a guy. I'm not saying that hard work and goals will bring you love, but if you begin to achieve things, you'll love yourself more and you'll accept yoursef more of the fact that you don't have a boyfriend.

A great goal for yourself (If you really want to) would be to lose some weight and keep healthy. Ask your family to help support you in losing some weight.

-TheTeenGirl

I know that dealing with the way you clam up your words when you get nervous is hard, but I think we all have something about us we don't like when we get in bad moods.

Like me for instance, anytime I get in a confrontation with someone, I just start shaking and crying and then I run in another room. And then on top of that, when my friends are trying to ask me what's wrong, I can't talk because my voice is having highs and lows and it sounds pretty bad. It's definetly not something I like dealing with because it makes me wonder what other people or my friends are thinking of it.

Sometimes I always try to keep calm in bad situations. If I feel like I'm going to get upset, I just try breathing or going in a room by myself where I can keep calm.

I think we both know that you're asking the wrong questions. How can you make your voice prettier? I think you know that you can't change your voice unless you fake it for the rest of your life. You may not like your voice right now, but someone who really loves you later on or soon will love it because it's your voice. Without that high squeaky voice, it wouldn't be his cute, fun-loving and caring girlfriend, wife, or partner. I know this may not help, but we know Ashlee Simpson. She has a pretty squeaky voice too, but without her voice, she just wouldn't seem as Ashlee Simpson as she is now.

If you really want to fix your studdering when you get nervous, I'd look into it with your parents or a doctor that could recommend something to do. Likely it's something that has to do with you being able to keep calm in nervous situations, not some disease that needs medication.

-TheTeenGirl

I think it's really great that you're trying to reach out for her and try to be something more to her than just a friend, but you should take it on a different way.

Instead of jumping up to telling her your feelings, ask her if you both can hang out outside of activities. That way you really can get to know her and you can take thing from there. It is very hard to get up the courage to tell her your feelings, but I know that if you become better friends, it won't be as hard.

Whether you want it that way or not, friendships will get a strain in them if there are feelings and rejection comes into play. The best way to handle broken friendships is to still be her friend even if she's not interested in you. If she does happen to tell you that she's not interested, just say, "Ok, that's ok with me but I'm hoping that we can still be the same old friends we've been and not let this situation become a distraction" or something along those lines.

The next time you see her and she's not doing anything, just say, "We should do something outside of tennis" or "We should go see that movie ___" and strike up a conversation that will be inviting her to hang out.

-TheTeenGirl

It has to be hard for you to handle this, but it wasn't a great idea to make promises you obviously can't keep.

Lets just face the facts here. We both know it wouldn't be right to break them up. It's rude to his girlfriend who is unaware of this situation, and it basically makes you look like a mean person. You're better off waiting and moving on with your life like he has. I'm not saying that he's over you, but it's really hurtful to yourself by just waiting for him to come back. You don't want to put yourself through waiting for this guy or you'll be miserable when school starts back up and it'll be a bad start for the year.

If anything, I'm really confident that this guy isn't meaning to hurt your feelings. You have both made a mistake by making a promise that can't be kept. If you both wanted to date and really be with each other, then why did it have to wait until summer is over? It sounds to me like maybe this guy could have been digging up an excuse to get out of dating you. I'm not saying it's true, but it seems odd that it had to wait. Don't be afraid to move on and get to know other guys, I can personally promise you that you'll be better off moving on like he has.


-TheTeenGirl

This guy is definetly sending out mixed signals to you and it's absolutely important to remember how guys act to their old girlfriends or around other people so that you can get an idea of what they are like when they are a boyfriend.

This guy is likely having a crush on you. I think it's become very obvious, but at the same time it's pretty confusing because yet he has this girlfriend now.

What you should do is let things keep running it's course. There isn't much you can do except try to tell him your feelings, but you don't have the courage to do so which is ok. If he really doesn't like this girl, then he'll get rid of her, but theres no reason at all that you should try breaking them up. You just have to let things go and let him decide what will happen in his love life. While you are living in the moment, don't be afraid to develop some new crushes and try having a summer fling or something like he is.

-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.

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