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One Tough Love Triangle
Hi everyone, this is the first time im trying this site, but my situation has gotten so serious, i really need some advice from outsiders. Im a 18 year old male.
Alright, the situation is that at our college we have this group of friends that we all hang out in. We are all a pretty close knit group, go to the movies together, lime at each others houses etc.. In this group there are a few relationships, one of which is Julia and Danny. They were in this constant on and off sort of thing for 3 years, he would break it off to give her space and they used to fight all the time. One time when it was off, me and Julia started talking alot, some flirting started and she eventually told me she liked me and i admitted i did to. I had liked her but was always afraid to admit it. Anyways, things took off from there and everything was great. She still didnt want to commit so soon after ending a 3 year relationship..which i understood..so we just dated.
But then we started to do "stuff". Not sex, but nearly evreything except sex. And I am not the type of person who just gets into a relationship to do stuff. I really want to be comitted..and even though we do evreything a commited couple do, knowing that we werent really together and she still thinks about gettin back together with him really pulls at my heart.
I have really falling in Love with Julia, I do these spontaneous things around her that in never knew i was capable of and she makes me feel complete. I know it is not Infatuation cause i have felt that before with another girl and this is far different. And btw, we have been out for two months constantly now, and we find it impossible to argue with each other.
The real twist in our relationship now, is that now he really wants her back, and he is saying all this mushy stuff like "he is changed person and wil treat her better". HE USED TO IGNORE HER FOR VIDEOGAMES! and didnt make alot of sacrifices for her. I would sacrifice anything for her. and i mean ANYTHING. So now she is between two minds wether to hold onto the past or wether to move on to something new. And she was kissing both of us at one point...now she has stopped kissing both of us till she makes her decision. Plz give ur comments on this situation, I want to be with her so badly it hurts...and give her some advice too, and i will relay it..anything is much appreciated
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I have to tell you that this girl has made a mistake by moving on to you right after a bad break-up. This girl is far from ready to date anyone else. I'm sorry but it's the absolute truth.
When people are getting out of a break-up, they jump in with new people as soon as possible to erase the pain they are feeling from the past relationship. I'm not saying that she doesn't really like you more than a friend, but she probably came to you to ease her pain of this past guy. Nobody in a 3-year relationship is ready to date again right after getting out of one.
What you have to do is accept the fact that she's not over this guy, and likely she'll be getting back with him. What you can do for yourself is to call things off between you both and move on. I know you are talking up a storm abot how much you love her, but two months? I think you'll be able to get out of this and you should while it's only lasted for so little time.
I know 100% for sure that you hate this answer, but take it from a girl who was in a two-year relationship and ended up in a break-up and who actually thought I was into someone else too.
-TheTeenGirl
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wow...you need to tell her everything thats on your mind and how it hurts you to see that she wants to go back to him cuz hes the PAST.tell her how much you love her and that youd do anything for her and how he always argues with her and how you never did with her and how youd give her all your time and how hed ignore her for video games.she needs to let go of the past to enjoy the future.tell her that.and if she STILL doesnt make up her mind and still kisses you both at the same time,shes obviously not worth your time(no offence) and just loves getting the attention from both sides.
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buy her flowers and tell her everything you just told us, how you would sacrafice anything for her and how you cant even picture your life without her. Dont like, campaign against this other guy but tell her you cant see him treating her the way she deserves to be treated no matter if he really did change or not and you cant stand to see her get hurt again. You dont want to annoy her about it, my advice would be to call her, set up a place to meet...dinner, a park, her house, your house, wherever, and tell her all of your feelings with out holding back. Let her know your not going to call her over and over or bug her about choosing you and you'll respect her decision. Personally, I cant see why she would choose this other guy over you. The only advice I have for her is to realize guys really dont change. and she cant change a guy no matter how hard she tries. This situation really sucks but remember in the end everything is ok, and if its not ok, its not the end.
=) HoPe I HeLpeD!
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Im kina young but heres my opinion: If the other guy treats her like crap, why does she want 2 be w/ him? I no he said he'll change, but what if he doesent? I hope she picks you cuz you sound a lot nicer, and i no u'll treat her well.Besides, if he doesnt change, she'll go back 2 you.
Best wishes =]
~lucky
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Don't bug her about choosing you, cuz that will annoy her. But talk to her tell her how much you care about her, then tell her whichever choice she makes you'll still be there for her, if you really will be there for her. That way she'll know that you care about her and support her which could make her choose you. But don't try to convice her to pick you to the point where it gets super annoying. Hope I helped!
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